Chapter 47
Turning Back the Clock: A History Written in Sand
To be orphaned would be a grim and arduous experience for any child, Hikari believed. Children were not meant to learn to survive alone. 'Twas the duty of the parents to raise and teach their child how to survive. Their duty was that of steadfast guardians who cared for and bestowed love upon their child or children until they could take care of themselves.
Without such an influence, the responsibility of survival in a cruel and unforgiving world fell to the orphan child. 'Twas not an easy fate. 'Twas one many orphans of war lived, and died when they failed.
Hikari, too, fought this never-ending war of survival, exacerbated drastically by blindness and a Village who despised her existence. She could not escape it. 'Twas the cards she had been dealt by fate. All she could do was play her hand and hope the katana blade leveled with her throat did not sever her head from her shoulders at any given moment.
No one within Suna bothered to acknowledge her plight or her existence. The other children feared her. She could hear their footsteps scampering away when she approached, their whispered hisses calling her a monster as they retreated for the protective guardians she wasn't fortunate to have. The same protective guardians who pulled them away towards safety or struck Hikari to protect their children from the threat they believed existed.
Her tears of sorrow became tears of hatred over time. Why did they treat her so poorly? Even blindness did not prevent her from seeing how wrong their actions were. Could they not see her agony? Her loneliness? No, they simply did not care. A feeling she found mutual later in life.
When her powers finally manifested, they stopped striking her. Even the parents cowered and scampered away then, but she felt not gratification. No happiness. How could she when their whispered hisses became unrestrained curses to shatter her heart?
How could she know the warmth of happiness when she was still all alone?
What made a monster? 'Twas a question Hikari often asked herself. She did not feel as she suspected a monster might feel. Did she appear different than others? Did they not possess the same soft, tender flesh a sharp point could open up? The liquid that came out of cuts, was it not the same for others? Did they not possess the follicles of hair sprouting from their heads?
Was she really so grossly different? So monstrous in appearance they could not bear to be near her?
Or perhaps 'twas not her appearance to make her a monster. Perhaps 'twas the defective eyes she was born with that frightened them. Did they misunderstand it? Did they believe blindness to be contagious and feared to lose the world of colors for isolated darkness?
Maybe, just maybe, 'twas not her who should be called a monster, but them who deserved the title they foisted upon her. She wronged them not. She harmed not a single soul within Suna, and yet they treated her as one might treat a broken trash bag full of rotten food.
In this land of hot, coarse sand and prickly cacti that stabbed those who tried to touch them, the people resembled their land all too well.
Regardless of their reasons for their inane reactions, her situation did not change. Her cards had been dealt, 'twas only in her hands to make the most of it.
Day by day, month by month, she learned to survive by making mistakes. Some worse than others. Over years she taught herself to see the world only as she could, and then how to control the powers she was born with by practicing with her kekkei genkais outside of Suna's walls. In blistering heat she trained, soaked in sweat by day and shivering at night.
To be a shinobi, 'twas the only path she knew of to gain freedom. Shinobi were paid for the missions they completed; money freed her from poverty, from cold nights without shelter and days of no food. If she could hone her craft, become strong enough she could not be ignored, then she could finally be free.
Unfortunately this could not happen overnight, or at four years old. So her ambitious plan remained a work-in-progress, and until she became old and strong enough to be a shinobi her main objective continued to be survival.
Survive by any means necessary to one day be free, 'twas the only purpose she had.
Days passed painfully slow. Some days of her war to survive tested her will to live. The stabbing knives digging their hungry points into her stomach made it hard to think, to focus. It made her weary. Weary of Suna and its people. Weary of the fight to survive. But by a gift of fate or by seizing an opportunity of her any means necessary ideal, Hikari found ways to make those painful knives go away.
On one particular night, Hikari sat on a swing in the playground of her village, pushing herself back and forth with her legs. Awake and alone while the rest of Suna slept. Hungry, but not to the point of pain yet. All was quiet save the steady creaking of the swing.
Well, perhaps she was not completely alone. She heard people speak of an orb in the sky when the desert cooled off and the warmth stopped beating against her skin. They called it a moon, and apparently it moved along the sky, trading places with the warm orb they called the sun. People claimed it glowed, but the word rang hollow for Hikari.
What did it mean for something to glow? Or to be bright? These words, much like words describing color, meant absolutely nothing to her. But she comprehended the shape, the two celestial orbs like kickballs in the sky. 'Twas a source of comfort to the lonely girl to have these two different orbs. One stayed up with her through the nights, the other kept her warm during the day.
Tonight Hikari's thoughts trailed over everything and nothing; where to find shelter, what about her next meal, what did stars look like when they twinkled. 'Twas as her thoughts danced along that she heard soft footsteps approach her. Hikari stopped swinging, turned her head in the general direction of the sound and waited.
Someone…approached her? On their own volition? The footsteps stopped a few meters away, but there were no whispers, no sound except their calm and curious breathing. This could be your one chance to make a friend, her mind whispered.
"…Hi," she greeted nervously.
"Hi," came the response of a shy voice. A boy, young by the intonation of his voice. "Do you mind if I sit on the swing next to you?"
Hikari shook her head. "No. 'Tis yours to sit on if you wish to join me…unless you do not wish me to be here."
"Oh, um, no. I don't mind if you stay."
The boy, whoever he was, padded forward and sat on the swing next to her. In relative silence the two sat, although 'twas not uncomfortable. In fact 'twas quite comforting to have the presence of another who did not spurn or strike her.
The Suna native wasn't sure how long they sat together, pushing their swings back and forth with their legs in silence. Minutes? Longer? It did not matter, she supposed. 'Twas the first time anyone sat with her, and so she appreciated every moment of it.
He was…brave, maybe? Or maybe—
"Do you ever feel…lonely?" the shy voice asked.
…Or maybe he was just as deprived of kindness and friends as she was. Maybe he too was an outcast.
"…yes," she admitted quietly. "I do. Every day. People...they are afraid of me, for what reason I do not know, and so they avoid me at all costs."
"Me too. You're the first to stay around me." The heartbreak in his voice was all too familiar.
"You are the first to do so for me as well," she said.
Another silence fell over them. Longer than the first, but no less comfortable.
"Can I ask why you approached me?" Hikari asked after some time. "I do not wish to sound ungrateful, for I have enjoyed the silent company, but I cannot deny how confused I am. No one ever approaches me, and yet here you are. Unafraid and kind, unlike so many others."
"Well I…I was coming to swing when I saw you here already. People usually run when they see me…but you didn't." He sounded happy and confused. "And you looked lonely, so I thought…maybe we could swing together."
Someone had…someone had noticed her loneliness, and instead of cursing her to it, they decided to step forward to cure it for her.
Hikari smiled in his direction. "I appreciate your kindness, and I am happy you came to swing. 'Tis a nice experience to share with you."
"I agree. My name is Gaara."
"I am Hikari."
They fell back into silence again. For what might have been the first time in her life, Hikari felt the warmth of happiness. But she was not alone. Gaara too felt it, and both were grateful to the other for it.
Eventually Gaara left when his uncle Yashamaru found them together. Gaara greeted him with all the excitement of a child and introduced her as his new friend. Hikari tried to not show her fear by smiling genuinely, but the task proved difficult.
How would his uncle react? Would he strike her? Would he tug her…her new friend away and order him to never approach her again?
If hiding her fear was difficult, hiding her surprise when his uncle did not treat her as some kind of animal was impossible. He greeted her kindly, expressed his happiness for Gaara making a new friend. Beneath it all she could hear tones of puzzlement, but no disgust or disdain.
Gaara's parting words were, "I'll see you tomorrow, Hikari!"
I hope you will, was her silent thought.
She remained at the swing for a while longer before leaving in search of shelter for the night.
Gaara was true to his word. He did come to see her the next day at the swing set, and continued to do so over the next week. It became their little ritual where they learned more about one another.
He was the son of the Kazekage, to her shock, but that information did not change how she acted with him. Hikari explained her blindness and kekkei genkais, her Magnet Style similar to Gaara's own abilities. He said the sand she manipulated was darker than his—black as the void of blindness.
Why she was so skinny came up, apparently 'twas noticeable how little she ate. Why there was a bruise on her face came up too, which she only knew existed by the stinging pain of the injury. Gaara hadn't liked the truth of either of those questions; he sounded physically hurt by it.
"I'll be okay, Gaara. I've been worse," she tried to soothe him.
"Bu- but that doesn't make it okay, Hikari," he argued.
"Better me than someone of weaker willpower, no? I will survive. 'Tis the cards I am dealt, and I shall continue to play them."
He brought her medicines, bandages and food the next day, and the kindness he shared and gifts moved her to tears.
Yashamaru too became a part of her life soon after Gaara explained much of her struggles to him. The kind man spent time teaching her about ninjutsu and chakra. She learned to manipulate her sand as an extension of her own limbs because of him. He would send Gaara with freshly cooked meals to share with her; he even bought her fresh clothes and rented an apartment for her so she did not have to sleep outside in the cold.
'Twas overwhelming. She couldn't rightly accept all of their gifts, but Gaara and Yashamaru left her no room to argue.
In those first two years Hikari found happiness in a world that had been devoid of it. She cherished Gaara, her very first friend and her most precious person.
As her studies progressed with Yashamaru, the Suna native became sure she could become a shinobi. Soon she could become a shinobi and begin missions for Suna. The money she gained would grant her the ability to repay Yashamaru back for every gift he had given her, and also finally provide the freedom she sought.
But 'twas not to be. Her grand plans, her dreams, her hopes for the future, all were laughed at by fate as it struck them all down in a blink of an eye. For two years she learned of happiness, of friendship and affection. But when she turned six years old everything returned to darkness.
One night Gaara did not show up to the swing set. No matter how long she waited, his presence never arrived. Obviously something came up, 'twas not unusual. So she went home. As she laid in bed preparing for sleep, she sensed a massive spike of chakra within the Suna. On unnatural, monstrous levels she had never felt before. And so cold.
As she made for her door, her home began to fall apart around her. Loud and chaotic, she stumbled and tried to escape when something heavy hit her head, knocking her unconscious. She awoke to screeching agony. Her left leg, it hurt. It hurt so much. A slab of solid roofing crushed and pinned it to the floor.
Without her gourd of sand, Hikari doubted she would have survived, for no one would come looking for her. Only Gaara or Yashamaru, but she worried something may have happened to them. The massive chakra from before, it could have harmed them too.
She wouldn't find out until much later that Gaara, her precious friend, lost control of the Shukaku that night. The sand spirit had gone on a massive rampage of destruction, one she was fortunate to survive.
Fortunate, they called her. She did not feel so fortunate when a medical-ninja informed her of the severity of her injury. Her knee was beyond repair. Several surgeries may one day removed all the crushed bone fragments, but her mobility, her strength in that leg and any chance of it returning to normalcy were dust in the wind.
"If your dream is to become a shinobi, find a different path. With an injury like that you'll be a liability in the field."
She never forgot those words forever engraved into her soul.
Of course that was not acceptable to Hikari. She cared not for their opinions or their beliefs. She continued to train, strengthening her left leg so she could stand and walk on it with a brace. It rarely stopped hurting, and a blow to the limb was exceptionally painful, but she would not give up on her dream.
Still, all of the physical pain she felt held no candle to the emotional anguish she went through the night after the attack, which followed her into the years to come.
That night her leg was covered by bandages and a knee brace meant to help support the injured limb. However, the only reason she was able to get to the playground where she and Gaara usually met was her brainstorm. By using a slab of her collapsed roof, she could use it as a means of transport by using her sand to carry it, almost as if levitating.
Again she waited for her friend, and when he finally did show up, Hikari sensed a change in him. His steps were heavier, his chakra felt…cold. Uninviting. Dangerous. When she moved to hug him in greeting, his sand stopped her.
"Gaara? What's wrong?"
'Twas the only thing she could think of to ask. Hugs had become a norm for them, and yet…
"Hikari." His voice was different. No longer was it the happy shy tone she had grown accustomed to. His voice sounded more gravelly, full of detectable pain and anguish. "What happened to your leg?"
"Something destroyed my home last night and a piece of the roof landed on my leg. I will be fine, Gaara. What about you?"
"I…I did that?"
Hikari tilted her head to the side in confusion. "No. How could you even think that? 'Tis not as if you destroyed my home."
Her friend went silent. Anxiety built in her chest. What was going on? Why did he feel…why did he feel like a complete stranger?
"You need to stay away from me, Hikari," he finally spoke again. "The path I am going to walk will only cause you more pain."
Hikari's jaw dropped. "What do you mean I need to stay away from you?" She couldn't just leave him; he was the only person who ever meant anything to her. That wasn't a bond so easily severed or one she wanted to sever. "Gaara, I—"
She took a step forward only to meet sand again. It hadn't hurt physically, but the simple action struck her heart harder than any punch ever could.
"Stay away, Hikari. Our friendship…it means nothing to me now. You will become nothing more than a nuisance."
I…mean nothing to him? But…why? Tears welled in her eyes as her feet remained glued to the sand becoming more akin to quicksand swallowing her whole. Her entire chest hurt like all the pain in her leg had jumped up into her heart.
Gaara couldn't really mean that, could he?
"You don't mean that." Her voice came out as nothing more than a pain filled whisper with a sob stuck in her throat. She was treated with deafening silence and then the sound of his feet walking away from her.
Had her leg not been crushed and her dreams with it earlier that day, Hikari liked to believe she would have done more than fall into a seated position with tears streaming down her face. She liked to believe she wouldn't have simply said the words: "I do not believe that our friendship means nothing to you. I won't give up on you or the boy I care for."
She liked to believe she'd have done more, and that she wouldn't have only heard his footsteps echoing further and further away.
But she didn't. All she had been able to do was listen to him walk away and cry as the bright flame of happiness she embraced became nothing more than an ember. An ember she grabbed hold of and held close to her heart as cold isolation encompassed her world once more.
For the next six years she worked hard to become a ninja, hearing only scarce rumors about Gaara and his bloodlust from people far more frightened of him than of her. Not friends, not acquaintances, not even comrades. Merely people she had no connection with.
Every night she returned to the swings. Every night she was left disappointed by the fleeting hope he would come back. 'Twas a continuous wound she inflicted upon herself. Perhaps as punishment. Perhaps because she couldn't let go of the unlikely hope of his return, even when deep in her heart she knew he wouldn't.
The blind girl tried through the years to talk to him, but he'd only ignore her and continue walking away, never saying a word.
It always hurt. But if she didn't try, who would?
A Jōnin named Baki finally took interest in her training because of the clear power she wielded. Two kekkei genkais, both powerful and destructive to those she faced. Baki did not fear her. He held no ill opinion of her as a person; he called those who did utter fools for wasting her potential by ignoring her all these years.
But they were not friends. He may have helped her become a shinobi, but he was a superior officer and she was a subordinate. 'Twas all their relationship was, and that was fine. She didn't need him to be a parental figure or to care for her existence beyond seeing her as a valuable asset to Suna.
Against the odds she finally managed to succeed in that old goal of hers…but it hadn't been the freedom she hoped for. The dream she sought became a nightmare, and the freedom 'twas meant to give turned into a cage. Baki did not speak for all of Suna. The opinions of the masses did not change because of him, nor would they, she realized.
Others would always see her as some sort of monster. As a threat. Her honed abilities, her convictions and her visible distaste for the Council of Fools made her dangerous. The only true reason they permitted Baki to make her a shinobi was to use it as a leash.
She was their tool to use. Their weapon, just like Gaara.
They could not fathom how wrong they were to believe they could control her or her destiny.
I will walk my own path. I have my own purpose to follow, my own duty to uphold.
Hikari picked her cards this time and she would follow them to whatever end they brought about. If she failed to save Gaara from himself, then she truly had nothing left in this world worth living for.
And if she failed, he would kill her. Perhaps in death she could find peace.
Perhaps in death she could be free of this cruel world.
Present Day
"You Sand ninjas really don't know when to quit, do you?" Sasuke asked, his frustration evident in his voice and on his face.
"'Tis the same with you Leaf ninja's, is it not? You three could stop or lie down and die, yet you persist in fighting. Do not expect from others what neither you nor them are trained for," the Suna kunoichi returned without malice.
"I expect the people who we share an alliance with to honor their words," Mimi fired back.
Amari remained silent, examining the girl standing before them on a floating rock, trying to discern the nature of her technique and her true nature as a person. This girl she had once helped, she had seemed so kind and sincere at the time. Not a hint of dishonesty laced into her words or enemy cunning hidden behind a mask as Kabuto once fooled her.
But…she was an enemy. A Sand kunoichi hiding amongst the civilian population in Konoha, learning the layout of the Leaf without anyone ever suspecting her as anything more than a helpless blind traveler, lost in a sea of sound. She had even hidden the strength of her chakra.
Who are you?
"I agree, but 'tis not the cards we were given," the girl responded. She clicked her tongue, waited a beat in silence then hopped forward onto a branch in front of her. The rock she once stood on plummeted to the ground and thudded dully on the ground below them.
The Sand kunoichi's attire and appearance hadn't change since she last saw her. The only real difference today compared to their first meeting was the forehead protector over her eyes displaying her Suna origins. Her sun-kissed skin revealed how often the sun shone in Suna, accented by cloud white hair tied in a top knot; the long tresses flowed down her back like a streamlined cloud to her waist.
And beneath her black clothed forehead protector were a set of amber colored eyes Amari couldn't deny the beauty of.
She wore a sleeveless light tan, bordering on white, shirt and a crimson and black shemagh tied around her neck, likely meant for the sandstorms Suna's desert was famous for. She covered her lower half with a midnight blue mid-thigh length skirt and slightly shorter than knee-length black bike pants to compliment her black sandals.
On her back left hip hung the small gourd she had almost lost when they met. The cork was missing however, and Amari noticed what appeared to be black grains of sand returning into the gourd.
What is that stuff? It moves like Gaara's sand, but it's different in color.
She shook her head mentally. There would be time for those questions later. What she knew for certain was this girl lacked eyesight entirely, yet could see the world through the clicks of her tongue. A sort of echolocation similar to dolphins and bats by Amari's estimations; the loud pop of her tongue clicks bent sound around her environment, the reflections of which created a sort of map of an area or battlefield around her.
She's probably a Sensory Type as well, Amari theorized. Her lack of vision obviously enhances her other senses, and I don't imagine she'd be able to follow us all the way out here only by the clicks of her tongue.
One final note, as Amari had made in their first interaction, was the knee brace on her left knee, now accented by bandages tied tightly beneath it. An injury. A source of weakness they could exploit against this girl who was likely a ranged combatant.
"I remember you," Amari said quietly. She couldn't deny how stupid she felt, or the smallest feeling of betrayal of her kindness. Maybe it was childish to feel that way; this girl didn't owe her any explanation or owe her loyalty. But…well, secretly she hoped to meet her again so she could learn her name and maybe even be friends.
She looked…lonely. Sad. Then and now. Like she was weighed down by some invisible burden weighing as much as the pack of bulls that chased Naruto into the stadium what felt like a lifetime ago.
"You know her?" Mimi asked in disbelief.
The girl, however, perked up at those three simple words to spill from Amari's lips. "You…You still remember me? After all this time?"
She sounded overjoyed. There was even the smallest hint of a smile, and that only made Amari sadder. It all but confirmed her previous feeling.
You…you've been alone for a long time, haven't you? She swallowed a large lump in her throat. In all this vast world…who do you have? Do you have anyone precious to you who care if you come home? Anyone at all?
Somewhere deep down in her heart she already possessed the answer.
Even with your eyes hidden behind that forehead protector, I know our eyes are the same. Just like when Haku's eyes were hidden behind his mask, even before I saw them for the first time, I just knew. You have eyes full of pain…Eyes full of loneliness…Eyes that show those who can see beyond themselves what suffering you have endured.
The Suna native's smile faded for an immensely apologetic look. "This situation, 'tis not how I hoped we would meet again." Her voice was full of regret. "I have not forgotten your kindness, Amaririsu Yūhi, nor will I. But these are the cards we are dealt, so we must play them. Forgive me."
Amari shut her eyes as a wave of familiarity washed over her.
"You are right, though. I believe you and I share the same interests. I apologize for what I must do."
"Don't," she remembered pleading. "I have to do the same, so you don't need to apologize. This is our life and what we must do to protect what we consider precious."
Amari sighed through her nose and opened her eye, the cool onyx staring glumly at the forest floor below. "And what cards are we dealt?" she asked reluctantly.
"Suna has declared war on the Leaf."
Amari's two teammates shifted into defensive positions while she kept staring—glaring—at the forest floor for an affront it did not commit. Why did it have to be this way again? Why did someone she didn't want to fight have to be her enemy?
"'Tis their intention to destroy your home and your military might with the help of Oto shinobi and the Shukaku, thus compelling the Feudal Lords to send more missions to Suna over the Leaf. Our Village will flourish. Suna will once more be seen as a powerful force, and all will be right again."
Venomous disgust poured from every word like a torrential downpour. It sparked hope in Amari's heart. Perhaps they weren't enemies. Perhaps she wouldn't have to fight her as she fought Haku.
"They even sent me, the weapon they despise the most, to destroy key targets with my kekkei genkais, like your hospital and all those inside. Your supply storehouses were another."
Mimi visibly tensed up and snarled. "That would kill both shinobi and innocent people, along with any supplies that could save our injured." Her sapphire eyes flicked over to Amari. "But the hospital was still untouched when our clones dispelled, and according to Osamu that sector was back in our control."
"Which means she didn't touch them," Amari stated. Suspicion latched its claws into the Nara. This girl was an enigma; there was no telling what she was really planning here. "And based on what you're saying, the Sand leaders don't really care for you at all," she directed towards the possible enemy kunoichi.
"The feeling is mutual, I assure you."
"So where does that leave us?" Sasuke questioned, hand slowly reaching for his ninja tool box.
The Sand shinobi clicked her tongue again, her covered eyes never leaving the position the trio were standing at. "Where we stand will depend on you three. Allow me to warn you: Should you continue to reach for that kunai, our paths shall diverge and you will become my enemies."
Sasuke's hand halted, a slightly nervous smirk tugging at his lips.
"I possess no desire to kill you three, especially you, Amaririsu. I can only give you my word that I have harmed no Leaf shinobi during this madness Suna has initiated. But if you three plan to destroy Gaara, I fear you will leave me with no choice but to incapacitate you all."
The three Konoha shinobi remained tense at her words. She conveyed an air of confidence and a chakra strength that could back up simple words with real actions.
"However, there is another path. Should you merely wish to stop him from unleashing the sand spirit he contains, thus preventing Suna and Oto from successfully destroying your home, then I offer an alliance. Together we can stop Gaara and Suna without any more needless bloodshed."
…not what I was expecting at all. She expected to be thrown feet first into another battle mirroring her fight with Haku. But for there to be an opportunity to avoid unnecessary fighting and death…
"You really think we're going to buy that?" Mimi wasn't ready to take the Suna native at her word. "If you're willing to betray your own Village, what the hell makes you think we could trust you to aid us?"
Their newest delay shook her head. "I betray no one. My superiors have either forsaken all honor, willingly devoting themselves to this chaotic madness, or were tricked by the one impersonating our Kazekage. I attempted to stop this all by informing those with the power to call it off of the false Kazekage. However the fools would not listen.
"They despise my existence. I am but a tool for them to use. A weapon they believe they can wield and use against whatever and whomever they desire. What was my reward for my final attempt to show loyalty to my home? Assassins were sent to eliminate me."
"People are fickle. Your Leaf elders are no different than the Sand. They may actually smile to your face, but it's a façade to lower your guard as they make preparations to eliminate you," Gaara's words rang in Amari's mind.
The Suna kunoichi shook her head again, lips curled down in a severe frown. "I do not owe Suna anything anymore. I do not owe them my loyalty. I do not owe them my strength or my life. I refuse to take part in their insane grab for power. Today I fight for my own cause. My own duty. Today I fight for the only purpose I have left to live for."
The only purpose you have left to live for?
The single sentence revealed more than enough to Amari about this mysterious girl. She was driven by this purpose of hers, driven to go to whatever lengths necessary to fulfill it. Because in this vast world she had nothing else left. No precious people. No dreams. No future without fulfilling this purpose.
Amari bit the inside of her lip and chewed on it. There were things she wanted to say, things she hoped to say after all the fighting was over, but those stirrings of her heart and nindo had to wait. She needed to get more information on this girl. Learn more about her motives or her spirit so she could discern her true intentions.
Amari released her lip. "Why Gaara? Why is he a part of this purpose you've chosen?" she asked.
Before the girl could answer, Mimi spun on the blue-haired ninja with disbelief written on her face. "You can't honestly tell me you trust her."
"Trust her?" Amari shook her head once. "No, I don't trust her. Our home is under attack by Sand ninjas. We saw them attacking anybody who ended up in their crosshairs without remorse, and a lot of good people died because of them."
No, no matter what her heart tried to say, she couldn't just lower her guard and accept this girl's words at face value. She had done that with Kabuto all because he wore a Leaf headband and that could have easily turned into a fatal mistake. This time she would be careful.
She crossed one arm over her ribs and brought the other to her chin in thought. "But think about it, Mimi. She hid her presence up until a few moments before appearing in front of us. If she can get so close to us without your nose picking her up, why didn't she just attack us from behind? She could have caught us by surprise completely.
"Then there are the different things she's been saying. She said if we attacked she'd incapacitate us, not kill us. She said she was sent to destroy key positions, yet we know for a fact she didn't ever touch them." Amari glanced to her fellow Leaf kunoichi. "And even if you don't trust her, you can tell how she speaks of Suna and her chosen path isn't a lie. There's too much conviction and tangible disdain in her voice."
Her eye settled on a random spot of the tree branch, lips pursed. You can't fake that level of conviction or disdain. It'd be like faking a cough or a yawn. Faking conviction to a purpose was ineffective. It could be detected easily by anyone, especially someone who held real conviction in their purpose.
She let her hand drop and turned to face the Suna kunoichi again. "Finally, why didn't she attack Shino and help Kankurō? If she wanted to help unleash Gaara's sand spirit, she'd have eliminated Shino and brought Kankurō to stop us. Even if we consider the possibility she's strong enough to defeat us all on her own, logically she would want to help an ally so he couldn't attack later."
No matter how she sliced it, the Suna kunoichi actions backed up her words in every way. Nothing appeared on the surface or underneath as a façade to trick them.
"I'll follow your lead Amari, but I'm not letting my guard down for a second," Mimi told her.
The Nara gave a nod. I doubt Sasuke will either. But that was fine. If her decision ended up wrong, they'd be ready to pull her out of the fire.
"So why do you want to stop Gaara with us? Why is his survival a part of the purpose you've chosen."
"He is...was my friend."
Another note Amari hadn't expected.
"Excuse me if I'm not actually buying that with his complete disregard for human life," Mimi retorted dismissively.
"You must understand, 'tis not his fault that he turned into the boy you three know. Before he turned six he was different. Kinder, gentler." A ghost of smile formed on the girl's lips. "That boy…he is the one I fight for. The one I am here to save from himself."
Pieces were beginning to click into place, the puzzle placed before her slowly becoming a picture she could see fully. Only a few pieces were missing, pieces she had in her possession but couldn't quite grab hold of yet.
"He's precious to you," Amari stated the fact she did have in her hands.
"You understand what 'tis like to have someone like that, no?"
"I do. All three of us do."
We're more alike than we realize. Amari exhaled deeply through her nose. You're here for Gaara because you deemed him worthy of your care. He's the one person you had in this world. The one precious person that made life worth living.
The Nara was hit by a sudden thought.
Wait a minute. Deemed worthy of her care…
It was as the words rang in her head that the pieces to the puzzle clicked into place to form a finished mosaic.
"Her foolish dream to love and protect anyone she deemed worthy. Even after I destroyed her knee and her dreams of being a shinobi, she never stopped. Her will to live, to never let go of the ridiculous purpose she latched onto was…admirable. I'd bet you would risk your life for these pathetic people too."
Amari's eye trailed back to the bandaged and braced left knee of the girl, then it widened in startled realization. "You're her." The girl perked up at the sound of Amari's voice. "The girl he destroyed the knee of, the one who was ridiculed for her destructive powers, the one who had the dream to love and protect the people she deemed worthy. The one he said I reminded him of."
"What the hell are you talking about Amari?" the boy of the group asked.
Hikari could not believe her ears. Gaara, he…he remembered her. After all these years of being outright ignored and avoided by him, her only friend still remembered her existence. He remembered how people mistreated her and the time they shared as friends. He even remembered her dream she gained because of him, and the foolish boy was still taking responsibility for her knee.
More than that, Gaara had seen her in Amaririsu.
Her mouth opened to form words, but she could not properly express the swell of emotions Amaririsu's statement imparted onto her. Happiness for being remembered by her one true friend, sadness that he could not see beyond her knee, hope that his eyes could truly see the light from the darkness he submerged himself in.
Maybe there truly was still a chance to save him. Maybe it wasn't all a false hope. Maybe she could truly save him and reignite the warm ember she had protected for so long.
"Shika, Naruto and I had a run in with him in the hospital where he tried to kill Lee. He told us about his past and how he was raised, but then he told me my eye reminded him of her."
Her…her eye was what reminded Gaara of Hikari? Of all the things to remind him of her, 'twas an eye? A small, humorless and bitter tasting laugh escaped the blind kunoichi.
"What's so funny?"
"I do not laugh out of happiness, I assure you. 'Tis a cruel fate for him to remember me by looking into the eyes of someone else. 'Tis an experience I will never have."
Within her swell of emotions, and this latest addition to it, a memory of their friendship illuminated itself from the darkness of the past.
"What are the color of your eyes, Gaara?"
"Um…they're kind of a pale blue-green," the boy answered thoughtfully.
'Twas an…unfulfilling answer, she had to admit. Pale blue-green, what did that even mean? What did that truly describe? Deciding to probe further, Hikari rephrased her question in search of a better answer.
"What does pale blue-green feel like?"
"Feel like?"
She nodded her head, running her hand along the cold floor until she found his hand. Her fingers traced up the soft flesh gently, as if petting a butterfly. "Yes. Your words that describe color, they are empty to me. But touch I understand. Are the colors soft, smooth, or silky? Are they rugged or sharp? When you see the colors do they feel like a solid surface or a plushy pillow?"
"I…never really thought about them like that. I guess they're kind of…umm." He remained in silent thought for several seconds as she moved her hand away from his. "I guess blue and green are kind of…soft, but depending on the shade it could be piercing, I think. Pale is kind of like a dull tool. Or a blunt knife."
"Mm. So your eye color is closer to a plushy pillow than a sharp knife. They are not jagged and do not pierce." She smiled. "It suits you."
"Oh…um…thank you." She marveled at the expressiveness of his voice; she could hear his bashful blush and smile. "Why did you ask, Hikari?"
"There are more ways to see something than through your eyes, Gaara. 'Tis something I have learned ever since I was born."
As the memory faded from Hikari's mind, she felt a great yearning for those days. 'Twas a time when, despite the rest of Suna ostracizing her, she had been truly happy, all because she had Gaara in her life.
She missed him dearly. His friendship had once been a great and bright flame that kept her warm during even the bitterest of winters; now all that remained was the small ember she clutched close to her heart, hoping it could one day reignite into that fire once more.
That's why she was here. 'Twas the reason she trekked all the way from Suna to this foreign land burgeoning with life, unlike the dry and barren deserts of home. She needed to stop him from being the tool Suna turned him into, and to do whatever it took to no longer be invisible to the one person she had in this world.
"If we're going to prevent this whole thing from happening, then we should go now," Amaririsu said. "We'll work together, but if I even get the slightest feeling you're setting us up, all bets are off."
Hikari nodded. "Of course. I would not expect anything less."
Amaririsu's light was still warm and silky. Even if she distrusted her, even if they could not one day meet as friends, at least Hikari could protect her light.
Hikari moved her hand out in front of her and guided the sand in her gourd towards the rock she had arrived on. Once she had the cone shaped rock in her possession, she lifted it back up in front of her and jumped onto it. "I will lead so you have no fear of being struck from behind."
She clicked her tongue and listened to the reflected sounds, mapping out the area around her once more before turning around on the rock and charging forward. She could hear the sounds of the Leaf trio jumping through the trees; they were staying both close enough not to lose her but far enough back in case she betrayed them.
Hikari could not blame them for their distrust. But she could tell 'twas only by Amaririsu's presence and order the other two went through with her plan. Had she not been here, a battle would have ensued, leaving no other option but to incapacitate them.
"May I ask your name?" Amaririsu asked.
"My name is Hikari. And your Exam fight was with the other kunoichi here, Mimi Inuzuka and her pup Aoko?"
"She's not just a puppy but otherwise you're right on both accounts," the Inuzuka responded, a continent of distance in her voice.
By the roaring applause and cheers she heard, their battle had been most impressive.
"Which leaves your male compatriot, the one who faced Gaara. Sasuke Uchiha, correct?"
"Yeah."
"I apologize for what Suna has done, and I do not blame you for your distrust. 'Tis a circumstance I wish did not have to happen… Had I been able to stop Gaara from losing himself years ago, we may not be here."
"You can't blame yourself, Hikari," Amaririsu said, her voice a soothing caress on her burdened soul.
But 'twas her at fault. Her inability to stop Gaara from losing himself led to this. "If I do not, then who will?" she asked in return. "I bear the blame for my part in Gaara's current state of being. The Council of Fools and his father may have turned him into a weapon, but 'twas our bond that could have stopped it. Had I been stronger in spirit, I could have stopped him from turning his back on our bond."
A tight frown tugged onto her lips. "Instead I only cried and listened to him walk away, vowing not to give up, but not persisting in chasing him. If I had continued to persist—"
"Hikari…please, stop," Amaririsu pleaded. She obeyed, quieted by the soft pain in her voice. "You are not responsible for Gaara turning his back on your bond. Gaara…shut his eyes and turned away from the hand you reached out to him. He consciously made that decision when his most precious person was right there in front of him. The Sand elders, his father, even Gaara himself are to blame for this situation, but not you."
"I appreciate what you are trying to do, Amaririsu. Truly, you are a kind and warm soul I am grateful to have met, but 'tis my burden to bear. You do not need to take it from my shoulders."
"But it's a burden you shouldn't have to bear. No one should," she heard her mumble softly.
Spoken as a soul who carried a similar burden.
"So, do you have a plan?" Amaririsu asked at length.
Hikari did have a plan. They'd probably think her crazy, and perhaps she was, but she had to try it. She needed to find the boy within Gaara who she once called friend, the one who she'd have given everything for.
"I do. I plan to talk to him."
"You really think that's going to work?" The boy of the group sounded like he thought the entire idea was ludicrous. If the Suna kunoichi was honest, she too was under the same impression to her plan.
All Gaara has done is ignore me like I don't even exist for the last six years. Will now be any different? He had told her the path he had to walk would only cause her more pain, yet to be fully ignored by the only precious person she ever had was a far greater pain than he could imagine.
His harsh words, calling her a nuisance and saying their friendship meant nothing…'twas a wound that followed her around like a Konoha storm cloud. She couldn't escape the downpour of anguish no matter where she went; no matter what she did, 'twas always there raining down on her soul without remorse.
Whether or not he cares anymore does not matter to me. I care…and I always will. 'Twas a fault of her own, she supposed. Hikari tried to forget, to move on. But she couldn't. The boy Gaara used to be, the one who had approached her and sat on the swings with her, the one who had sounded delighted to meet her…he had become a part of her heart.
Without him I feel…empty. Hollow. Dead. Hikari clenched her left hand into a fist, causing her grains of sand to tighten around her rock. No one truly cares for my existence. My dream of becoming a shinobi has become the Council's leash.
What more did she have left?
Why keep on going?
"I have to try. He is…was the only person in this vast life to have acknowledged my existence without the fear or contempt everyone else shows me." She could feel his chakra getting closer as they pressed forward. "The boy I knew, I have to believe he is in there somewhere. Saving him…'tis the only purpose I have left."
"I understand." Amaririsu words did not ring hollow. They rang with the pleasant but painful chimes of empathy.
'Twas…strange.
"Do you?" she asked curiously.
"It's a long story. I get it, though. I do. These two do too, even if they are too troublesome to admit it out loud. I know they are just words, but I'm sorry for the things you've gone through."
"Do not apologize for something you took no part in. 'Tis the cards I was dealt. I have adapted as best as I can."
"Doesn't make it right."
Hikari remained silent but a small, affectionate smile made it onto her face.
Amaririsu was special.
"In case talking doesn't work, what's your backup plan?"
Hikari hoped with all her heart mere words could reach Gaara. However she was no fool. Odds were this would end in a battle, especially if the Shukaku possessed any control over him.
"Then we will have to fight him until he can no longer fight back. Prove him 'tis a fool who fights only for themselves."
"Simple backup plan. I like it," the Inuzuka stated.
If only it could be as simple as it sounds.
"They aren't running anymore. We're almost on them," Mimi informed the group.
Finally. 'Twas the moment Hikari had been waiting for. She was determined to save Gaara from himself, no matter what. By any means necessary, she would save him from his darkness just as he had saved her from hers all those years ago.
She slowed her rock to a stop with the others halting behind her. I can feel him. His chakra, 'tis in front of me on that branch. Her heart yearned to have the ability to see his face in a way that was so fierce it felt physically painful.
"Gaara," she whispered his name.
Nearby was Temari's chakra, adjacent to Gaara's position on a tree. It seemed she either moved away on her own or had been hit away; Hikari didn't doubt the latter was closer to the truth.
"Hikari?" His gravelly voice was full of surprise.
He hadn't known she was here in the Leaf, and she hadn't approached him in almost a full year now. Her heart hadn't been ready for another dagger to pierce it.
"What are you doing here?"
I wonder what his face looks like right now. Is it flat, devoid of emotion? Or does it show the surprise I can hear in his voice? Her heart began to hurt as her next thoughts came through her mind. Is there any glint of happiness or any reminiscent reminder of the boy I am here to save?
Before she could respond, her friend spoke up again, this time with anger and deep reservation in his voice. "I told you to stay away from me. You're just a nuisance."
Hikari frowned as she guided her rock forward. "I do not believe you. The bond we shared is not so easily severed." She shook her head slightly. "I tried to forget but I could not, and I know you cannot either. You remembered me when you looked at Amaririsu. You remembered our bond."
"Stay away!" Gaara shrieked. The sound pierced her ears and reverberated off of everything around her. She stopped, though. Within his voice, she could hear his pain, fear and regret. She could hear her old friend.
"Gaara…"
She went to move forward again only to stop at the sound of his agony filled voice. "Hikari, please stay away," he pleaded. "Don't waste your dream on me. I'm not worthy of your kindness."
The Suna kunoichi clenched both of her hands into fists. Her sand tightened around the rock under her. "'Tis not your choice who I deem worthy of my kindness," she ground out. 'Tis the only thing I can actually choose for myself now. Why can you not see that? "You still care, just as I do. The boy I knew is somewhere still within you."
"No I don't!" His chakra spiked rapidly, warning the kunoichi of the transformation beginning to take hold. "Friendship, it's meaningless! To care about others well-being more than your own, it is the belief of the feeble minded!"
Again his words stung her like a cactus, or a bee. It reopened the wounds on her poorly bandaged heart.
"Your friendship never made me strong, it's my purpose that does! For by only killing those Uchiha's can I prove that I exist! Only by killing them can I know what life is!"
Killing intent irradiated off of her friend. An unnatural chill rushed down her spine faster than a spider scampering to safety. Is this…is this the new Gaara? Is the last of the boy I knew truly gone?
"You…you were my only friend, Gaara. The only person who gave my life meaning. Please. Do not continue down this path," she pleaded in a soft voice.
For you will only cause me more pain if you do.
Her friend screamed in some sort of agony as his chakra grew by leaps and bounds.
"They are my prey! And if you stand in my way, I'll kill you as well!"
His screaming continued as Hikari stood frozen in place, although that had little to do with the monstrous chakra he exuded. She could almost hear the sounds of cracking glass echoing in her chest as her heart shattered into tiny pieces.
He's gone…he's really gone. 'Twas a moment no amount of emotional and mental strengthening could have prepared her for. Gaara…you…you really will kill me if I stand in your way, won't you?
Behind her forehead protector her eyes stung with acidic tears. For years I have waited to talk to you again, to hear your voice…I waited so long, hoping you'd allow me to see you again. Wishing…Dreaming…Hoping for you to come back.
Two tears slid down her cheeks.
But you didn't and I see now that words alone will never reach you. You are in a darkness no light can penetrate…you are blinder than I am, Gaara.
She could feel his chakra charging right for her.
"Move, Hikari!" Amari shouted at her.
Hikari clicked her tongue and listened intently to the way the sounds reverberated across the forest. The echo bounced off her former friend and the giant sand arm coming right for her.
So, this is how it must be. You have finally severed your bond to me. She smiled sadly. Only if I could as well. 'Tis not in the cards for me to do so, Gaara. I am afraid even now as you move to kill me, I still…
"Die, Hikari!"
I still care.
Gaara's giant sand arm nearly hit her, but Hikari was faster. She jumped up into the air and lowered her rock simultaneously. He flew between the two, missing her and the others completely. Hikari guided the rock back up to her quickly, stopping her from falling and moving into a defensive position in front of the Leaf shinobi and across from her former friend.
"Gaara, I am sorry I could not stop you from falling prey to this darkness you are consumed by," the kunoichi spoke firmly, the tears once in her eyes no longer there. Words would no longer reach him, 'twas time to stop him by force.
Across from her she could hear his beast like breathing and growls. He is no longer the boy I knew…this is the new Gaara. The one who fell into the spiral of hate and despair because he was alone. It hurt to know her presence wasn't enough to heal the wounds in his heart as his was for her.
But she couldn't be distracted by her own pain. Right now she had to focus away from the mountain of pain and sadness in her heart and focus on putting a stop to her former friend.
"The path you have chosen will bring nothing but unforgivable pain and despair to this world, I see that now. 'Tis clear to me what my fate is. I know what I am meant to do now."
"Have you found a purpose stronger than your pathetic idea of friendship!" the beast growled at her.
"You will find 'tis because of our friendship that I am stronger in purpose." Hikari began moving through handseals. "Our meeting eight years ago and everything since, all of it happened so I would be here standing between you and the people you call prey. 'Tis my fate to bring you from the darkness, even if that means I must destroy you in purifying light."
Gaara roared with maniacal laughter. "Do you really think you have the will to kill me?! You are too weak!" His laughter continued and 'twas as he was laughing the Suna kunoichi decided this person was the one who had stolen her Gaara away.
Whoever he has become, my Gaara is no longer in there. This person, they contorted and twisted the person I cared for. For that reason, determination set in her being as her hands ended in Bird. I will use the full extent of my power to destroy him.
Lava Style: Lava Bullets!
Review Response to ChillinInKonoha: Hehe, yeah. I was thinking the same thing about Amari and Temari when I've written all of their contentious interactions up to their battle. And poor Shikamaru is going to be stuck between the colliding ideals of his troublesome 'Risu and the woman he's into. Poor guy.
Another interesting theory in regards to her evolution of the Sharingan. We will have to see how it all turns out in the future. As for will she become a teenage god, I honestly haven't decided on what will happen in those final few arcs of Shippuden yet. I have some ideas, I just haven't made a concrete decision quite yet.
Ino definitely doesn't want an unworthy rival in love. Kurenai too will have lessons of her own to teach Amari about love. And Anko, oh, Anko can have way too much fun with teaching a teenager about romance. Poor Amari will be tomato red. Sakura's another good pick, and there will definitely be others to influence her that have yet to be introduced or she has yet to meet. Some funny, others more heartwarming. Though it may also be Amari unintentionally teaching her generation about true love instead of her peers teaching her. :)
I'm looking forward to posting the Itachi arc and I'm interested to see the reactions it gets. One of my favorites personally.
Thank you for the review! Hope you enjoyed the new update!