CHAPTER 5


I do not know for how long I lay in bed, dying slowly. I could feel Aubrey at my side and I could feel part of his blood in me. He had not turned me yet but I did not care anymore, I wanted him away from me. My father's murderer. I could feel him caress my face but I could not move from my weakness. I knew that I was dying quickly. Aubrey's blood was the only thing that had kept me alive for so long.

Yet, the hatred that I felt for Aubrey started to fade away. I knew that I should hate him but I could not, my heart would not let me. I loved him even more as he stood there beside me. Yet, the certain thought that he would have me die than to live with him as a blood drinker was unsettling.

Soon I could move after he gave me a little of his blood but I knew that I would die anyway. If he gave enough of his blood I would be a blood drinker and if he didn't and kept going like this then I would surely live a miserable life. I found enough strength to speak to him one day and I asked him why he did not turn me. He only closed his eyes and then argued that I was not ready.

Not ready? I though. This angered me. How more ready could I be if I was dying and had spent centuries with him! I argued with him, telling him that the only reason why he never turned me was because he was afraid that I would leave him and turn on him. Telling him that he was afraid angered him more and he called me a whore. A whore! I could not believe him! Did he after all believe all those lies that were spread around Nuuruk. But before I could answer back, I saw him go out the door and after he had not returned for a week I chose my fate.

I gathered all my strength and stood up from the dreadful bed that I had lain in for weeks. My wounds had not healed well and I could feel them start to bleed again. They hurt so much but I would not let the pain stop me. I covered myself and silently I crept out of the place that had been my home for many centuries. I walked out into the night and savored the night air. I walked, bearing each spasm of pain. I felt lightheaded and weak but I was determined to walk away, only to get as far away from the place where Aubrey and I had lived for a long time. Only to die away from the place that reminded so much of Aubrey.

I don't know for how long I walked but soon daylight started to come. I suddenly fell onto the damp ground. I heard a soft whisper that seemed to be like a prayer. I turned my head weakly and looked at the man that kneeled in front of me. I met his blue eyes that help compassion in them. I could no longer see him. Everything blackened and I could no longer breathe. I tried to breathe but I could not. Suddenly I felt my strength coming as tasted something in my mouth. It was warm and rich and at once I realized that it was blood. I needed it and I welcomed it. I prayed that it was Aubrey who had made an illusion to his eyes just like Siete and Jager had done. My whole body convulsed and pain hit me. I felt his blood go through like a thousand thorns in my veins. His blood was so powerful that I knew my body would never be able to hold it.

Minutes later, after the new blood had settled in me, I looked into the man's face for the first time. He was not Aubrey even though he had black hair and similar features. His eyes were blue but they were not an illusion. I felt different and at once I felt that I too had fangs as a blood drinker should. I wondered why Aubrey had never turned me after he had known me for many years and this stranger turned me after a few days of knowing me. Yes, he was the same stranger that I had noticed staring at me. He smiled and whispered softly that his name was Sahaid.

I don't know how many months or years passed before I ever recovered my sanity. All I knew was that for a moment I lost it. All that I had been through came rushing through my mind and it mixed with the new powers that I had inherited as a vampire. I was not strong enough yet to hold such things back and my mind shattered to pieces because of that. I can't really remember what happened during those dark hours when I would lay and stare at nothing while I spoke of things that made no sense. I did know later on, that I was perceived as dead in Nuuruk and that Aubrey was becoming more powerful than any of the other vampires. It was almost as if he no longer cared where I had gone off to and had just become more powerful, meaning that maybe I was the only reason why he was weak at first and did not have such thirst for life and power. Let it be that way, I thought in those days. I no longer cared about Aubrey, but my heart told me otherwise.

A few days after I had recovered, I found another girl yet in my room. A new servant, I thought, so be it. I lived in Sahaid's realm which was called Ardid and I ruled there as queen by his side. The young girl I received had come from a land not far from our realm just to the far West of Egypt. Her hair was a light dark brown and her exotic golden eyes held the colors of green and blue in them. When I entered my room, I saw her in a corner, weeping endlessly. As soon as she saw me, she wiped her tears and tried to look at me without flinching. She was scared, I noticed. I felt pity for her and quickly kneeled so that I faced her young round face.

She looked no older than eighteen and she was still a young, innocent girl. Strange, I thought. There I was, looking younger than her and yet I called her a child! I was right, of course, she was a child still and I had lived for many years that I could have been one of her ancestors. Such a pretty, innocent face that she had. Her frightened eyes looked at me with horror and admiration. I smiled at her and she relaxed a little.

"What is your name?" I asked her. I did not want to meddle in her thoughts for I never really liked that gift.

"Asryn." She whispered softy.

"How old are you?" I asked. I tried to search her face but she only grew more frightened with my inspections. She trembled slightly as she answered.

"I am nineteen." she whispered again. Her eyes were truly scared but she knew that I would not treat harshly as she thought I would. Indeed I would not, I was not harsh with my servants who more than once made sure that I comfortable and were concerned about my safety. She shifted from her sitting position as I stared at her, studied her.

"I will not harm you." I said. "I do not harm my servants and if I take a liking to you I might as well set you free in a few years. Do not fear this new life for it will bring you eternity."

"How can I not fear it?" she finally spoke out. "All of you frighten me and I have heard tales about this place. Demons and the damned live here but the thing that frightens me the most is that ghastly paleness that you here posses as you face me."

I must say that the comment about my "ghastly paleness" was said many times before but when I looked at myself at my mirror I saw nothing except that my face was the same color of Sahaid's; a normal flesh color. I would ask Sahaid and some of my servants about such matters but they would say that they saw nothing peculiar about my color. So, during the years I learned to ignore such comments and go on. Sahaid took care of me and I felt that he loved me. Sahaid probably loved me more than Aubrey would have ever done.

Asryn became part of my household and soon she became my only true friend. I knew that the others would betray me if Sahaid asked them to but I knew that Asryn would not. I heard all about Aubrey's greatness and the way that he had greatness in many realms, especially of one called Mayhem. I heard tales of how he had hurt a young girl and let Ather, his maker, turn her into a vampire. Indeed, I would have never suspected Aubrey of such horror! To hurt a young girl who later became Risika, another deadly hunter, was not like him yet again who was I to say such things? There was nothing said about Aubrey and Julia, or at least nothing that I heard.

I lived in peace with Sahaid and learned many arts in magic. I learned that we were very much like humans and that we could also conceive a child for we were not exactly dead. I never conceived anything for I was barren even when human and I did not care. The child that was born in such darkness would only suffer and if ever I had a child that I loved, I would not put them through such misery. I spoke my old language and yet I learned to use Arabic as my main one. The language of Suniria was now long dead and what use was it to speak it to those who never lived in such times?

There were rituals that we had to ordain in honor of our line every year. We were a different type of vampire, we only fed a little for we did not need much blood to survive as others who had to kill. I was queen in Ardid and Sahaid was king. We would sit in a throne and drink from a chosen victim. After that I would drink from Sahaid's neck as he would drink from mine. Then, he would hand me a bowl with blood that was considered sacred and I would drink from it to preserve my power. Soon I would feel drowsy and would be taken to rest in my rooms.

Asryn never liked the ceremonies and would always warn me to be careful. She had grown bolder now and she was different from when I had first met her. She had lived with me for years and had never left because she did not want to. She was not raised in the old religious Muslim beliefs so therefore she was not really afraid of our lifestyle. She was my confidant, the person who I would speak to in those moments where I could not bear to be in Ardid. She had grown to be somewhat like a sister to me.

There was a time when I did feel like leaving Sahaid, my heart had started to rebel and I wanted to know of Aubrey. I did not think of all the things Sahaid did, all the ways he helped me in. All I thought of was Aubrey, he was a plague in my mind, a deadly memory that would torment me forever. I could not escape of course, Sahaid had known someway and stopped me. He sat me down firmly and explained to me that Aubrey had many women after I left. One day he would court a rich woman of society and the other he would go after a courtesan. He would be the lover of many others. My mind scolded me for thinking of leaving Sahaid and once again, I stayed with him. Yet, nothing prepared me for the blow that I would receive later.

Rumors had started in the other vampire realms that a certain Ash Night, made a living of writing novels that were supposed to be fiction to mortals but truth and history of all the vampires that belonged to Aubrey's world. This surprised me but then, Asryn herself brought me a book that completely tore me apart. The book was written by Ash Night herself and it was none other than her story of her and Aubrey. I read on how she met him, on how her eyes were so much like mine and how he too, seemed to fall in love with her. I would have never expected that he would turn her into a vampire when he had know her for only a few weeks if not months.

This angered me beyond belief! I had know Aubrey for years and he had never once turned me! This proved to me that his love for Ash, or should I say Jessica, was stronger than the one we had centuries ago. I was unconsolable and wept as I had never done before for days. I wept tears of rage, rage that poured out resentment and all the feelings that I had tried to hide through all my years. Asryn was there and she comforted me along with Sahaid. Yet, nothing could save me from the icy hell that I would fall into, a place where my feelings would be numbed and I would be only the shadow of the woman I once was. A hell worse than the one I had with Aurelius.

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