"Oh, my."

"Don't see that every morning, do you?"

"Elliot, this is nothing to joke about. Obviously she's been drugged."

"Yeah right, Grandma."

"What will I ever do if the ladies at Tabor find out? They'll never let me in a Ladies' Aid meeting again."

I opened my eyes slowly. Light was pouring in through the window, meaning it was much later than I usually slept.

"We should call the police."

Someone stirred slightly beside me, and I remembered what had happened last night. A smile played across my lips as I tried to place the voices that were coming from my doorway.

It hit me.

Somehow my family had found its way to Crabapple Cove.

Calla, get them out of here, I begged silently. Please. For five minutes.

"Breakfast!" Grace called from downstairs.

Thank you, Grace. I almost took back all the unflattering things I'd thought about her.

Calla shut the door, and I shook Hawkeye's shoulders. "Get up get up get up."

"Unless the world is ending, I'm not moving."

"IT IS!" I hissed. "My parents are here."

"In Maine?"

"IN THIS HOUSE!"

Hawkeye sat up. "Who invited them?"

"They invited themselves." I rummaged through the closet for something to throw on. Finding a gray skirt and white blouse, I turned to Hawkeye. "Get dressed."

He stood up and pulled on his robe. "See you in five minutes."

After he left, I dressed and pulled my hair back with a black ribbon. Stumbling into my shoes, I took the stairs two at a time.

Downstairs, Calla, Elliot, and Michelle were eating waffles, Grace was looking like the perfect American housewife in a red and white gingham apron, and Dad was standing next toMother, looking like they were on their way to a funeral.

"Good morning," I chirped.

"Morning, Mrs. Pierce," said Elliot.

Mother spit out the coffee she was drinking. "Excuse me?" shecoughed.

"MRS.?" Dad repeated, turning pale.

"Ohhh, why did you have to say that?" Grace sniffed.

"What'd I do?" my brother asked, visibly confused.

"Elliot, I haven't told anyone but you," I said through gritted teeth.

"Whoops," Elliot said, looking around the kitchen.

Hawkeye came downstairs at that moment, and Mother's eyes widened.

"How DARE you?" she cried. "You take my daughter and--and RAVAGE her! I have a cousin who works with the police! You'll be thrown in jail so fast your head will spin!"

"I think you should explain, Mr. Pierce," Dad said, grabbing Mother before she could attack Hawkeye.

"Dr. Pierce," Hawkeye corrected. "Look, let's all sit down and discuss this calmly. No strangling allowed."

"All right, Dr. Pierce, what happened?" asked Dad.

We explained, answering numerous questions from my parents along the way.Finally,Mother asked, "So what were you doing in the same bed last night?"

"Shall we give a demonstration?" Hawkeyeasked me.

"Do youknow do you're revolting?" I said.

"I think I'm going to be revolting these waffles in a few minutes. What'd you put in these, Grace, cyanide?"

Mother tsk-tsked at Hawkeye.

Hawkeye tsk-tsked at Mother.

I groaned.

A/N: I haven't replied to any reviews lately, so I promise--this chapter (and hopefully on up), all reviews will be replied to!