Chapter 66
Hidden Sorrow: A Heart Full of Pain
Tenzō monitored Amaririsu's teammates with keen eyes, his body a barricade between the young kunoichi's door and the three Genin desiring to enter. From what he gathered, Master Jiraiya stood on the razors edge of caution and suspicion of Amaririsu Yūhi's allegiance; a complicated and unfortunate situation, worsened by a…difference of opinions.
These children were emphatically displeased by the suspicion, especially the blond one—Naruto Uzumaki. He paced back and forth, steps short and hurried, impatience all but vibrating off of him. Cerulean eyes stalked the stilled Anbu agent, squinting in distrust, saying everything bottled inside without a word ever being spoken between them.
Glaring at him wouldn't change anything. This was the way things were, regardless of how unfair it seemed to Naruto. Could he confirm Amaririsu wasn't compromised by Itachi? Could he defend against a power Master Jiraiya and Kakashi rightfully seemed shaken by?
No. He couldn't, and so here they were.
Leaning against the wall opposite of Tenzō were Naruto's teammates, neither any less displeased than him, though respectful enough to conceal it beneath neutral expressions. Concern flickered in the emerald eyes of the kunoichi. Annoyance in the Uchiha's.
Tenzō sympathized, but he had his orders: No one, especially Naruto, was allowed to enter. Master Jiraiya, Lady Tsunade, her assistant and Shikaku Nara—who arrived several minutes earlier—were the only people permitted inside until further notice.
I'm sure this will go smoothly.
Surely these kids weren't foolish enough to attempt anything against him.
Clashing and sharp clangs of steel disturbed the timeless and peaceful realm of Amari's mindscape. Blades of grass, still and harmless, were bent and crushed beneath quick feet dashing and dancing in an endless duel.
How long had they been fighting for? Weeks? Months? Years? Amari didn't know. Couldn't know. Time didn't exist here; the sun never set behind a horizon so the stars could sparkle and dazzle a black canvas; her body didn't require sleep or hydration or any other needs fulfilled, stealing any excuse she may have thought of to take a break.
So the duel and training continued. Endless. Painfully endless.
Amari parried a series of strikes from Itachi then slid back in a retreat, tantō held up in preparation for his incoming strike. Sweat slicked her skin, flying off with every strike she made; she could feel her grip threatening to fail.
There was no time to think about her sore muscles or to doubt her ability to win. Itachi was already on her, sword seeking flesh to end this battle definitively.
"Damn it," she hissed.
Her tantō barely made the proper block in time. Again, for what was certainly the hundredth time, she was reminded her eyes alone weren't enough to win a battle. She saw his movements clearly, the perception of her Byakugan and Sharingan as sharp as ever, but with her body entangled by vines of exhaustion and aching from cuts, bruises and minor burns she couldn't react fast enough.
"Cursing won't help you," Itachi drawled, striking again.
Amari blocked and growled, frustrated and annoyed by the taunt. Troublesome jerk. But she bit her tongue. Engaging in a verbal jousting battle would only muddle her already dulled reflexes.
She spun on her toes, throwing a kunai mid-spin in hopes of putting Itachi off balance. It didn't. He dodged the kunai and caught her blade with another strike.
Her grip faltered for the last time. Itachi, with superior skill and deftness, disarmed her in an instant with his sword. Then the tip of the blade sat against her throat, her tantō lying harmlessly in the grass next to her and her Shadow connecting them.
"Didn't I say you were forbidden from using ninjutsu?" he asked, tone dry and answer already in his possession.
The Nara didn't have enough air in her lungs to retort. She shot him a mild glare through quick breaths that matched the rapid tempo of her heart.
In a real battle you'd be dead, the quiet voice of her mind informed.
Even without the 'no ninjutsu' stipulation the voice was right. Her Shadow was a second too slow to capture Itachi, and then even too weak to maintain a hold. Had this been a real battle, her head would be rolling around in the grass.
Fun.
Amari released her Shadow and let her body collapse backwards without a care. She was already sore. What was one more bruise and lost air in her lungs? She couldn't breathe anyways.
Itachi's hands caught hers before she could land and steadily lowered her until she was lying flat.
"Thanks," she whispered between breaths.
Itachi hummed and knelt down next to her, resting his hand on her forehead. Amari had grown used to this process. Slowly, steadily, as if being magically pulled out of her body, the exhaustion and aches disappeared. Any moment now she'd be recovered, and then it'd be back to the grindstone.
"So," she exhaled a far calmer breath. The minor burns and cuts were almost gone. "What's next? Another new technique? More dueling? Or a different kind of spar?"
"Your training is complete, for now," Itachi replied stoically, removing his hand from her head.
Amari sat up, eyebrows at their peak. "Complete? What do you mean?"
He offered her his hand and hefted her onto her feet when she took it. The fire of his Sharingan cooled back to onyx. "The trauma of the Tsukuyomi is finally being healed. You will wake up momentarily."
"Oh…"
Amari deactivated her dōjutsu and lowered her eyes.
Itachi hadn't gone easy on her since they started training. This latest bout of collapsing via exhaustion wasn't even the worst of it; he showed her no mercy, all to prepare her for the coming days, months and years.
Yet despite the severity of his training, she was eager to keep at it because training provided a distraction from the pain gnawing at her heart.
Granted she wanted to see her friends and family again. She wanted to hug her mother tightly and never let her go…but out there, back in the real world where time existed, ignoring the absence of Shisui was impossible. Out there she couldn't train endlessly to block out the agonizing sorrow his death left her. There'd be no choice but to confront it…and Amari worried she wouldn't be able to. Not in front of anyone at least.
A poke to the forehead returned her attention to Itachi. "You've progressed well, but you mustn't forget everything you have learned. Your memories of Shisui, the truth we've entrusted to you, while it is a heavier burden to bear, do not allow your grief to isolate you. Even in the darkness Shisui never lost his heart. See you do not lose yours."
"I'll…try."
Itachi smiled down at her, genuinely. Warmly. It made her miss him more. "You will be fine, Haya. Shisui, Aimi and I believe in you. Stay true to yourself and follow the path you've chosen." She nodded. "Now, it's time for you to wake up."
He poked her forehead one last time and the mindscape faded to darkness.
A tired and broken groan escaped Amari's lips, eyes squinting and blinking against the burning white light she recognized all too well. The hospital. It seemed this place was becoming a secondary residency, unfortunately. Maybe they could give her a discount for being a repeat customer.
Lukewarm Medical Ninjutsu flowed through her body—soothing, like a warm bath, or a bowl of ice cream after a week in a desert.
As Amari's vision refocused, the figure of a blonde-haired woman hovering over her came into view. Gorgeous. Even in her hazy state the word rang true. Her brown eyes were intense, young in appearance and yet somehow older. Wiser. Scarred. Entrancing.
The second of this stranger's greatest features, from Amari's waking examination, was her buxom bust. All she had to do was lean over Amari and the burning light would have been hidden behind an eclipse of bulging cleavage.
Not a bad way to die, Amari supposed. A pleasant sight and then death by a heart attack. She could have handled that. Shisui would never let her live it down…but at least they'd be together.
The thought sent a volcanic eruption of aches to burn her heart.
Shisui…
Tears stung Amari's eyes. Yearning for her cousin's presence, for his comfort and troublesome teasing left her on the verge of breaking down before even sitting up. It still felt so fresh. So harsh and painful.
Breathe, she coached herself. Breathe. Grieve later. Cry later. Don't do it here.
Amari buckled down her sorrow into a containment room, where she knew it would fester, and struggled to sit up. But there was no other choice, not to her mind or her pride.
"Easy there." The beautiful stranger's voice was its own kind of medicine. Her gentle hands helped guide the groggy girl into a seated position. "You're safe now."
Amari nodded, slowly processing the words. I'm safe…
But were the others? Her heart jumped and stomach churned with anxiety. During the heat of the moment it never occurred to her that she failed. That her attempts to buy time only delayed the deaths or severe injuries of her loved ones.
Mom, Kakashi-sensei, Asuma-sensei… Panic dug its nails into Amari's already fragile heart. Did they survive? What about Naruto and Sasuke?
Oxygen refused to fill her lungs. Every breath came faster than the last, her eyes beginning to dart around the room in search for familiar faces. The beautiful stranger kept a warm, gentle, supportive hand on her shoulder. Never did Amari consider the threat it posed to her life.
A black-haired woman with a pet pig stood in the room, accompanied by Master Jiraiya.
"'Risu," the familiar voice snapped her panicked eyes to her uncle, now sitting on the edge of her bed. He took her small, unscarred hand into his and held her gaze with relief and comfort in his eyes. "Breathe."
Breathe? How could she breathe? No Team Seven. No comforting and scolding red eyes. No Asuma. Where were they? Did she fail? Did Itachi and Aimi have no choice but to fulfill their mission? Did Kisame kill them?
The words to ask the questions escaped her. She couldn't breathe. Her stomach kept churning violently, as if she were stuck on a boat in the middle of raging storm. Kami, she felt sick.
Realization flashed in Shikaku's eyes. "They're safe, 'Risu. They're all safe," her uncle soothed. "Everyone. Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke are all safe and alive. Osamu, too. He made a full recovery."
Again she was nearly brought to tears, this time in joy. They pricked at her eyes, struggling so desperately to break down the containment room door. Choked down sobs worked their way between gasps for air.
She wanted a hug, and she sensed her uncle relenting against his desire to embrace her. Amari appreciated his measured control, because if he were to hug her right now she'd crumble. Neither wanted that.
"Hana, Guy and Mimi arrived at the first battlefield, and after you unleashed that jutsu, Itachi used you to discourage further battle or pursuit. At the second battlefield, after Itachi used the Tsukuyomi on you, Master Jiraiya protected all of you and almost killed all three of the Akatsuki."
Which meant Itachi and Aimi were still alive. Relief replaced anxiety, calming her heart and mind, yet leaving Amari emotionally and physically exhausted.
Everyone was safe. Even Itachi and Aimi. What a relief.
"…At least I wasn't completely useless," she muttered.
"No, you're not. You're reckless," Jiraiya started in on a lecture.
Amari didn't care to listen. Everything he wanted to say Itachi already beat into her.
I…remember, she thought, shock hidden behind exhaustion. Last time I couldn't even remember who it was, but now…
Perhaps the genjutsu saw no sense in beating the lessons into her only for her to forget. Or because of the new knowledge she possessed it no longer needed to hide itself from her. Amari couldn't say, and she was too tired to care. Too tired to listen to Jiraiya, too.
The scolding was well-deserved, Amari knew, but Itachi hammered the same points in already. Had it been literally anyone else, even just Kisame, she would be dead. It was only because Itachi and Aimi called the shots that she didn't meet her end.
"You would be dead if you had faced anyone else," Itachi chastised as he dodged her attack and landed a knee into her gut. "What is the purpose of protecting the people you love if you throw your life away so foolishly?"
"At least they'll be alive! At least then I will have been able to defend them!" she argued.
A hard punch to her face sent her flying across the mindscape, followed by a knee planting itself against her back, pinning her into the dirt. "You would throw away the sacrifice Shisui made, the sacrifice your parents made and destroy your loved ones from within for such a selfish reason?"
The knee lifted and then slammed back into her back causing her to cry out in pain. "After everything you have been through, after everything you have been taught, you are still but a child!" His hand gripped her head and lifted her face out of the dirt to see his searing red eyes. "You disgrace your family."
"Then maybe you should have spared them instead of me—"
Her face promptly met the ground after that particular comment.
Pain and heartache made a volatile combination. It brought out the worst in her. But Itachi didn't stop the beating until she recognized his point: she walked with such reckless abandon for her own life, not caring whether she lived or died so long as it meant saving her loved ones…yet never stopping to wonder how much pain it would cause them if she did die.
She needed to fight smarter. Use every skill she possessed to bring everyone home safely—herself included.
Itachi taught her a lot in their time together. He passed on further knowledge regarding the Mangekyō Sharingan and the abilities she now possessed, their limitations and a reminder to not use them as a crutch. He taught her a new technique, trained her in their endless spars to battle more intelligently and even provided life lessons to help her on the journey ahead.
"Are you even listening to me?"
Amari startled awake. Oops, forgot he was there.
Jiraiya could wait, though. There was another important question on her mind.
"Your speech was lovely, but…" she turned her attention to Shikaku. "Uncle Shikaku, how long have I been out of it?"
The Toad Sage sighed. "Like teacher like student."
"One month."
A single month wasn't too bad. Could have easily been worse. Fatally worse.
"Certainly felt that way," Amari muttered.
"What do you mean?"
"I've been training in the genjutsu ever since I was rendered unconscious. I don't know if it'll translate it into real results immediately, but the knowledge is there. I suppose that counts for something…" she trailed off.
If only her uncle was here, Amari would have told him who was training her without hesitation. But she sensed the distrust and caution irradiating off of Jiraiya, and even a little from the woman next to her.
The dōjutsu wielder took a deep breath then let out a sigh. The tension in the room was going to give her another anxiety attack if she didn't cut it soon. This wasn't a party or 'happy-you-recovered' meeting; this was a light interrogation to ensure she wasn't a threat.
Nostalgia and déjà vu touched at her heart. It's almost like the first time I ever woke up in this hospital.
History repeating itself was such a drag.
"Of everything I ever accomplished, of everything I ever did, being your hero will always be my greatest achievement. I'm so happy I could be your cousin, little sis," Shisui's voice broke through her barrier, making the young Uchiha flinch internally.
Shisui…I miss you. I wish you were here. Amari inhaled a deep, shaky breath. But you can't save me from every struggle I face. I would never learn anything or grow if you did.
"Let's get this over with, okay? I know you have questions, Master Jiraiya." She chuckled roughly. "Can't say I blame you. If you want Mr. Ibiki or Mr. Inoichi to check me over, fine. I get that. Just get it over with. The suspense is killing me."
"'Risu," her uncle chided.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. Thinking about Shisui, about the mountainous struggle of bearing the burden of his death… "I just…"
"You will always mean everything to me, Haya. Never forget that."
Another stitch of pain. Another pulsing ache no amount of Medical Ninjutsu could heal.
"Shisui is off limits," she dictated in a weak voice. "I…I need time."
Her uncle inclined his head in understanding. "Okay."
Jiraiya wasted no time starting in with the questions. Everything from the moment she first caught Osamu, to Aimi finding her—Kami, why did they have to be enemies?—and her reasons for blatantly ignoring the orders of her superiors to fight a hopeless battle came up. When he brought up how she lost herself, Amari flinched.
Why did he have to know about that? Why did he have to ask about the catalyst of it all?
Yes, she lost herself to the Curse of Hatred. Yes, all she wanted was the death of Itachi and Aimi in that moment, because they were the ones she saw as responsible for Shisui's death.
She hated the doubt in his eyes. Hated how her honesty only expanded his suspicion.
"Judge me if you want," she wanted to say, "but Shisui was everything to me."
Amari didn't say it, though. She held her tongue and detailed everything like she was reading a list of someone else's groceries.
When Shisui's return and the truth of his death came up she became tight-lipped, much to Jiraiya's displeasure.
"We need you to tell us everything he said," Jiraiya prodded.
Amari tried to snort. It came out as more of a sniffle. "In an insecure hospital? With two people I don't even know standing in here and a stranger just outside that door?"
"Listen, Amaririsu—"
"No, you listen!" Amari hissed. "It may have been a month for all of you, and years since the massacre happened, but it hasn't been for me, all right!
"I just lost my big brother! I just held him in my arms! Do you have any idea how it feels to spend limited time with the person you loved most, knowing they are already dead? Knowing the laughs and smiles and hugs you share together will be the last ones you will ever have?"
Jiraiya answered with silence.
The gentle squeeze of her uncle's hands doused the fire in Amari's heart. Grounded her back in reality as tears threatened to spill over.
Amari grit her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. "I am barely holding it together here," she whispered weakly. "Don't demand me to show more strength. I am all out of it."
"'Risu's right," her uncle inserted as Jiraiya opened his mouth to speak. "This isn't the place to talk about the information Shisui entrusted to her and the others. I can debrief you both on everything later; it's imperative I do, for her safety, the Leaf's safety," he drew his eyes to the blonde woman, "and yours, Lady Hokage."
Amari's wide eyes flew to the beautiful stranger. "Lady…Hokage?"
The woman offered her a kind smile. "Well, not officially yet. For now I'm still just Tsunade Senju, granddaughter of the First Hokage."
…I ogled Lady Tsunade of the Legendary Sannin.
Still not a bad way to die.
Amari bowed her head to her Hokage. "…If you need to hear this now, I'll—"
"No." The resolute answer of the Hokage lifted her gaze back to the woman. Sympathy colored her brown eyes and lifted her lips into a smile that told a long, grief stricken story.
I understand.
Brown eyes left her for the elder Nara. "Shikaku, do you have all the information I need to hear?"
"I do."
She nodded. The single gesture decided the matter for everyone. "Then we can move on."
And they did.
Amari explained her Mangekyō techniques next: Ōkuninushi and Amenominakanushi. Not only could she manipulate the Shadow of her enemies as long as they were in her line of sight, but she could create a corporeal Shadow copy of them that mimicked their strength and techniques perfectly.
Her uncle was impressed. She could already see him thinking of new tactics for the ability if and when she would be forced to use it again.
No one appeared surprised by Amenominakanushi. According to Itachi her father had wielded the power, too, and considering the age of Jiraiya and Tsunade—as well as her mother's relation to Shikaku—it made sense they recognized it.
The pensive knot to form between Jiraiya's brow pinged Amari. So, she thought, that's the power your most afraid of. You don't trust me to wield it, do you, Master Jiraiya? Or you're worried Itachi may manipulate me into unleashing it on the Leaf.
If they only knew. Could she even tell them the truth without earning further distrust? Would they even believe it?
I have to find some way to make them believe. Even if it takes me years, I will find a way to clear Itachi's and Aimi's names so they can come home. Not as villainous rogue shinobi to be prosecuted, but the heroes they are for the sacrifices they've made for all of us.
"I should be dead," Amari stated quietly.
"Amaririsu…" the black-haired woman—Shizune, she learned from her uncle—sounded heartbroken at the admission.
"You got lucky" Jiraiya agreed. "But that doesn't take away from what you accomplished."
Amari shook her head. No. They didn't understand what she meant at all. "I'm not saying 'I should be dead' in a philosophical way of talking about a brush with death, or even in reference to the Massacre. I mean I drained myself of all my chakra."
Even if I'm only planting small seeds now…
"Itachi saved me." In more ways than she ever realized until recently. "The chakra I used with Ōkuninushi left me so close to absolute zero, I could barely keep myself on the surface of the water. The last scraps of chakra I had left went into Amenominakanushi. I should be dead."
"That's an interesting way of putting your situation."
"It's the truth, Master Jiraiya. Only Itachi could have given me chakra to survive at that point."
"You did have information he wanted," Tsunade pointed out. A logical conclusion, based on an ignorant idea Amari was responsible for.
This time she did manage a snort. "Itachi and Aimi didn't need me to find Naruto. And they aren't fools. They undoubtedly saw through my lies about the Akatsuki; where would I get that information from? I'm not a spy of the Leaf. I don't have connections to the other Villages to spread the word. I'm only a Genin."
Amari shifted on her bed, seeking a more comfortable position. "And if I posed a threat to the Akatsuki," she continued, "why not just let me die then? Why drag me along? To take Naruto?" Another snort. "One genjutsu would be all it took to capture Naruto, yet neither of them bothered to try."
The suspicion in Jiraiya flourished into a forest of distrust. He crossed his arms and kept his eyes on her. "What are you trying to say, Amaririsu?"
"This is our path. For Shisui, for you, for Sasuke, we must keep walking it."
Her courage faltered. "It's nothing," she dodged, eye falling away.
They wouldn't understand. Maybe not even after everything her uncle told them. It was easier to judge Itachi and Aimi as criminals than it was to admit the situation was more complex than that.
"No, it's not. You clearly know or believe something about Itachi and Aimi. What is it?" he pressed.
"You won't understand until Uncle Shikaku tells you the other stuff," she dodged again. "…Can we please be done? I've told you everything I can."
"This is important, Amaririsu," Jiraiya didn't relent. "This is the last thing we'll ask you, but you need to tell us what you were trying to say."
Amari had enough. Her heart was hurting. She felt overwhelmed and ready to explode into tears at any moment.
The kid gloves slipped off, replaced by a blade that would end this verbal battle in a single blow.
"Considering it doesn't involve peeping on a—at the time—twelve year old girl and a bunch of women in swimwear playing around in a stream, I doubt my thoughts will interest you," she replied.
A noticeable vein bulged in Tsunade's forehead, followed by killing intent flooding off of her.
Game. Set. Match.
"Checkmate," her uncle said humorously under his breath.
"Jiraiya," Tsunade seethed, hands curling into fists.
Jiraiya's jaw dropped off. He shot a look of disbelief to his fellow Sannin. "You can't seriously be taking her word?! We discussed this on the road!"
"And yet this time I'm hearing from the girl herself that you were peeping on her as she and other women were in their swimwear."
Hmm, didn't expect her to take it that way, Amari thought, face blank. Not that I'm complaining. She played into my hands even better than I could have planned.
As Amari was marveling over how well her plan had worked, Jiraiya continued his fit of disbelief and fear. "You can't be serious!"
Tsunade turned on her heel, no longer interested in the Nara child, and jabbed her finger at him. Fury exploded onto her face and bellowed out of her throat. "Do I look like I'm joking!"
The finger alone coaxed Jiraiya to take a step back towards the window, physically backpedaling as he did so verbally. "Come on, Tsunade. You know me. You—"
"You're damn right I know you!" she cut him off. "You and your urges can never be kept in line." She pointed her finger to Amari. "And if a little girl happens to get caught in your cross-hairs then it's just a misunderstanding and an accident."
Jiraiya appeared appalled at the accusation. Then a flicker of realization crossed his features. "This is exactly what Kakashi was warning me about."
Amari cocked her eyebrow up, curious about what he meant, which made Jiraiya jab his finger at her. "You! You're using your words to play Tsunade like a fool!"
"Who's a fool?!" Tsunade barked.
Amari believed her ability to keep a straight face deserved a reward. Perhaps celebratory ice cream. Did the hospital serve celebratory ice cream?
Jiraiya yelped and took another step back. "Listen to me, Tsunade. This is the attack Kakashi was talking about her using. She's turning us against each other! I never, in all my years, have ever peeped on a child! I admit to peeping on those women, but she wasn't ever among them. She's the enemy here, not me!"
Desperation consumed his voice. Unfortunately for Jiraiya, Tsunade's knowledge of his peeping had worked the legendary medic right into Amari's corner.
Looks like I win this round, Master Jiraiya. Retreat and forfeiting this battle is the best option you have.
"Oh no, you're not putting all the blame on this kid for your perverted tendencies." Tsunade took a threatening step forward. "Tell me, Amaririsu, how young were those women in swimwear?"
"Hmm…" The Nara brought her hand to her chin. "Early twenties, probably. Guy-sensei would say they were full of youthful energy the way they were splashing around and giggling."
"You've got to be joking," Jiraiya groaned. "How can she remember that so clearly?"
Amari smiled inwardly at the declining fate of the perverted shinobi but managed to keep it all hidden.
"I have near eidetic memory despite my forced amnesia. Pretty much everything I encounter, I remember," she informed.
Unluckily for you right now.
Meanwhile
Tenzō was watching Naruto carefully. As soon as the raised voices started, the trio straightened to attention. They were only hearing one side of a…complex conversation, and the parts they were hearing weren't making his job any easier.
That girl really played Lady Tsunade right into her hands with one statement. Impressive, if not a bit underhanded.
"You! You're using your words to play Tsunade like a fool!" Jiraiya accused.
Naruto growled and clenched his hands into fists. "That Pervy Sage better leave Amari alone."
"Who's a fool?!" Tsunade barked.
Oh boy.
"She's turning us against each other! She's the enemy here, not me!"
Naruto snarled. "That's it! I'm done letting him accuse and interrogate Amari! She's not our enemy." He took an aggressive stance. Tenzō narrowed his eyes behind his mask; this kid couldn't seriously think he stood a fighting chance against him, could he?
"You two just stand back. I'm going to blow right through this guy."
"Heh, whatever you say, loser." The Uchiha shrugged and motioned with a nod of his head for his kunoichi teammate to relax.
"You're getting the wrong idea, kid," Tenzō tried to diffuse the situation. How to explain the conversation they're having? It was…well, it was embarrassing to hear secondhand about Master Jiraiya's perverted exploits. Explaining it? He wasn't sure he could. But he had to try, at least to avoid any damage to the hospital from this reckless boy.
"They aren't questioning—"
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Tenzō felt his eyes widen at the sea of orange charging towards him.
That's a lot of clones…
Step by step, Tsunade stalked closer to Jiraiya, her heels clicking sharply against the floor. Jiraiya, cornered like a toad about to croak for the last time, was almost pressed fully against the wall and window behind him, sweating bullets of terror as Tsunade inched closer. And closer. And closer.
The poor fool, but he brought this upon himself, Amari rationalized. She gave him a chance to drop the subject, and apparently Kakashi warned him not to push his luck. But he ignored them both. Now it was time for his punishment.
Shikaku shot his niece a knowing smirk, nearly breaking her perfectly expressionless face. She could feel an amused snort threatening to escape, with a fit of giggles prepared to follow afterwards because of him, the troublesome adult. But Amari resolved to keep a straight face.
Shizune was on to her, too; however she seemed to want no part in this quarrel between the Fifth Hokage and white-haired Sannin.
It was as Jiraiya was on the verge of wailing that the sounds of a rowdy scuffle severed the tension. Shouts and cries belonging to a familiar voice, muffled by the door and wall separating the hall from her room, grew in intensity, as did a surge of chakra.
"Take this! Rasengan!"
Rasengan?
The door suddenly ripped open; the loud sound startled Amari, much to her embarrassment. She caught the glimpse of a man in Anbu gear sidestepping Naruto, all the while a horde of Naruto clones clambered to hold him in place. They failed, miserably from the look of it, and weren't being shown any sign of mercy by the Anbu agent.
The real Naruto, caught off guard by the sudden absence of his target, stumbled into the room with a sphere of blue chakra in his hand.
Lightning Blade? Amari shook her head after a quick examination. No, it has no Chakra Nature. It's pure chakra he's managed to shape into a small ball, like a handheld Rotation. The amount of chakra control needed for such a technique…and the power behind it…
A fond smile worked its way onto her lips. You just never stop growing, Naruto.
With his intended target gone, though, he began tripping towards Tsunade.
"Aiiiieeeee!" Shizune summed up the entire situation perfectly.
"Eh…eh…eh," the knucklehead stuttered, desperately attempting to slow down his forward momentum.
But you're still just as troublesome as you were before, thankfully. I'm glad you haven't changed since I've been gone.
"What a drag," Shikaku murmured. A black tendril lunged over the floor and ensnared Naruto, paralyzing him in place. The swirling power of the jutsu ruffled the clothes of the Hokage but did not damage her.
"Phew," Naruto breathed a sigh of relief.
At the same time, Jiraiya slid the window open and moved to escape, silent as any veteran shinobi should be.
Smart move. Using Naruto's distraction to escape the ire of Lady Tsunade is his best idea yet.
Tsunade bristled at the sight of Naruto and his jutsu, a second bulging vein joining the first. "You little fool!" She reached forward and grabbed his wrist. Amari couldn't hide her snort at Naruto's horrified expression. "This is a hospital, not a training ground!"
Shikaku's Shadow receded back to him in an instant, a muttered, "Sorry, kid, you're on your own now," beneath his breath.
Tsunade threw Naruto towards the window.
Right at the Toad Sage crouched in the open portal.
"And you're not escaping me that easily, Jiraiya!"
Jiraiya peered over his shoulder and gaped in pure fear. A light squeal of terror broke from his lips. "Naruto! Disengage the jutsu!" he cried.
The plea came too late.
The Rasengan, as Naruto called it, nailed the man right in the rump, ripped his pants apart at the point of impact then propelled him forward towards the horizon.
"YOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Jiraiya's scream echoed in the room long after he was gone.
Naruto, on the other hand, fell out the second floor window; Amari swore she heard the ground quake when he landed.
"Nice to see you too, Naruto," she jested to herself. Shikaku chuckled with her.
Multiple clones yelping in pain and popping echoed in the hallway, the Anbu making short work of those that remained. Joining it was an explosion of familiar mad cackling from the hallway.
Mimi… Amari smiled from the warmth her sister's cackling gave her.
Tsunade turned to face the cat-masked Anbu agent, who bowed his head apologetically. "My apologies, Lady Hokage. I didn't expect that child to use such a powerful jutsu in the hospital."
Tsunade waved him off. "That's Naruto for you. He's a real handful. You can let her teammates in. Amaririsu's fine."
He nodded and moved out of the doorway, vanishing into the shadows when the eyes were off of him.
Sakura and Sasuke filed in first followed by Mimi, Aoko and Guy. Tsunade eyed the bushy-browed shinobi. "Well well, if it isn't Might Guy." Her brown eyes moved to the Inuzuka. "And is it safe to assume you're the Mimi Inuzuka Naruto has talked about?"
Both bowed. "Yes ma'am," Mimi answered. She came up from her bow with her sensei. "Would you be willing to come look at my teammate, Rock Lee?"
The Sannin smiled. "Of course. He's one of the reasons I'm here." She looked over to her assistant. "Come, Shizune. We have one last friend of Naruto's to heal before I check in with the others."
"Yes, milady."
"He's right this way, Lady Tsunade," Guy said, gesturing with his arm while taking the lead.
Sakura tackle hugged Amari before she could greet or say goodbye to Mimi.
"You stubborn idiot! What were you thinking fighting three S-Rank ninjas!" she scolded, voice cracking with emotion. "Do you have any idea how worried about you we've been?"
The hug and pain in her teammate's voice was enough to break down more of the safeguards the Nara built to prevent tears. Amari shut her eyes and wrapped an arm around Sakura. "I'm…sorry," she apologized weakly.
"I'll give you and your team privacy." Her uncle's hand ruffled her hair. "Rest easy while you can, little shadow. Shikamaru and Yoshino will come by to visit later."
Aunt Yoshino is going to crush me. With her bare hands or a bear hug remained to be seen. Amari wasn't sure which was worse at this point. However, there was something she needed to ask her uncle, far more important than her fear of being crushed.
"Uncle Shikaku…can we talk privately later?"
"Of course," his answer came without hesitation or suspicion. For that, Amari was grateful. "Whenever you feel ready, 'Risu, I'll listen."
"Thank you."
A different, smaller hand took her unscarred hand into their warm embrace. Sasuke, she sensed without opening her eyes. But the small gesture transmitted the same feelings Sakura's hug gave her. Pain. Unspoken apologies. Fear she'd never come back.
Amari gripped it and held on tightly to reassure him she was alive, and to stave off her tears.
Damn it…I don't want to cry in front of them. Not after all the pain I've put them through.
"What is the purpose of your desire to protect the people you love if you throw your life away so foolishly?"
"You would throw away the sacrifice Shisui made, the sacrifice you parents made and destroy your loved ones from within for such a selfish reason."
The words of Itachi hit her hard. Amari squeezed her eyes tighter and buckled down her resolve to fight the tears threatening to spill over. Not here, not in front of them, she swore.
"Try not to get into any trouble in the hospital without me, Amari. You can't keep hogging all the good fights to yourself," Mimi quipped.
Amari could feel the warm grin irradiating off her friend, causing her to chuckle and nod again. "I'll do my best, Mimi. See you later?"
"Yeah, I'll stop in. See you later, and try not to crush her, Broody. That hug you give is incredibly strong."
"Ha. Ha," Sasuke drawled.
Amari gave the boy's hand a comforting squeeze. "You are crushing me a little, Sakura," she admitted.
"Deal with it," her teammate returned.
Feisty as ever. It was familiar. Comfortable. Despite her world getting flipped around again, to have this familiar ground to hold onto gave her a sense of stability from the spiraling storm of hell awoken within her.
When she was awake last there was no solid ground. A sinkhole opened beneath her and swallowed her entire fortress while an earthquake devastated the surrounding area the survivors fled to. Even with the guidance of her beloved cousin, she felt lost in an unbearably lonely and desolate darkness.
Fighting had distracted her. Itachi's training kept her too busy to think…but now there was no distraction. No place to hide from the pain. Within her heart, Amari could feel the culmination of every emotion she suffocated trying burst forth from their cage.
Yet she held it in through sheer willpower. While the hug and hand held relayed her teammate's feelings, it also gave her the sanctuary of solid ground. It was just enough to force the tears of anguish down and pretend everything would be okay. That nothing within her changed.
Even if that was a lie.
She wasn't okay. Like the scars left behind by the Land of Waves, this last battle left permanent marks underneath her skin, unseen as long as she maintained the illusion of normalcy.
"Man…that old lady sure can throw hard." A dull thud followed Naruto's voice; her poor friend must have fallen on the floor after his climb. "Ugh. That guy in the mask would have been toast if he didn't open the door!"
Sakura and Sasuke relinquished their holds to look at Naruto. Amari caught Sakura wiping at her teary eyes; it left her with yet another pang of guilt. Turning her attention to Naruto, she found him lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling; splotches of dirt stained his orange jacket and pants, as if he'd been crawling around in a garden, planting fresh roses.
"You really know how to make an entrance, Naruto," Amari teased in a tired voice.
The sound of her voice acting like a bolt of lightning, or a caffeine rush. Naruto shot up onto his feet and charged over to her bed to practically tackle her off it.
Amari swayed towards the edge, eyes going wide, muscles tensing and heart racing. What a drag! Her hands scrambled to grab the bed anywhere for a grip. But whether too weak or too stunned, her hands failed to maintain any significant hold.
Sakura, fortunately, caught and braced her before she could fall off the bed, sighing in mild annoyance at the knucklehead responsible.
"I- I was so worried about you!" Naruto's voice trembled.
"I…"
Forming that single word was an immense struggle. Not because Naruto was holding onto her too tightly, but because her voice wavered with her fragile heart. The feelings pouring off of Naruto was the paper bomb to her fortresses weak point, the tsunami wave to devastate a poor fishing village.
Stay strong. I have to be strong, Amari coached herself. She squeezed her eyes tightly and sought any willpower that remained in her already broken heart to keep the tears at bay.
"I'm sorry."
Naruto released her to rest his hands on her shoulders. Glossy, urgent cerulean eyes gazed into her soul. "Promise me, us, that you will never trade your life for ours again."
Amari's eye strayed away. She couldn't make that promise. While she planned to be less reckless with her life, she couldn't promise she would never exchange her life for her friends.
In the end, if death was certain for one of them, she'd sacrifice herself for them.
If…if I had a choice to save their lives with my own or would have to witness them sacrifice their lives for me…I would always chose to save them. Right now it would destroy them. I'm their balancing point…but I can't promise I'll be here always. With the Foundation, this masked man who could be Madara Uchiha, Orochimaru and Kasai out there…
She couldn't guarantee anything.
Naruto shook her body, snapping her attention back to his cerulean eyes. "Promise, Amari."
"I…promise I will be less reckless with my life and try my hardest not to ever die."
It was as close as she could get without lying.
I'm not you, Naruto. I can't make impossible promises possible. If there was any way I could, I would…but I can't. I wish I could say it to make you all feel better. I wish I could tell you that I will always be strong enough to protect everyone or myself without the possibility of death…but I can't.
Amari quickly changed the subject after the silence settled, hoping to learn how much she had missed since she was unconscious. Obviously a lot. New Hokage. Naruto had a new jutsu. What else, though?
Naruto told them about his adventure to find Tsunade first. It sound like most of his journey was spent training to learn the Rasengan, while ending on a battle between the three Legendary Sannin, plus Kabuto. Amari hoped it would be the last time she had to hear about Orochimaru and Kabuto.
As for Sasuke and Sakura, they had been training together and working to help Konoha for the last month. Sakura was quick to gloat teasingly about punching Sasuke in the face, which left Naruto and Amari in stitches at their teammate's expense.
Talking to her teammates, experiencing their comradery again, it was nice…yet Amari realized she was only putting on a tough face for them. It was…well, it wasn't easy to pretend nothing happened, like she didn't know the truth about Itachi and Aimi…or that she wasn't slowly dying inside because Shisui was…
Simple things like smiles, laughter and jests reminded her again and again of the time she shared with Shisui…and that she couldn't share anymore smiles, laughter and jests with him. Old memories flashed before her eyes in the middle of their conversation or banter, intensifying the struggle to pretend.
Although Amari was glad to share time with them, when her team excused themselves for missions around the Village, and meeting up with Iruka in Naruto's case, she breathed a sigh of relief.
Amari hugged her legs close to her body and rested her forehead into them, shutting her eyes to the world around her. She wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, but she couldn't. Not yet. Her uncle warned her about Yoshino and Shikamaru visiting later, and Mimi promised to stop by as well, which meant holding it in a little longer. To have someone walk in on her balling her eyes out would be mortifying.
I just have to make it through the day.
A demanding task that grew harder every minute.
Her aunt, as expected, nearly crushed her in a hug and refused to let go for a long while. It about broke her.
"I'm okay, Aunt Yoshino," she reassured quietly.
Shikamaru was his usual self, hiding his fears behind a lazy, relaxed attitude.
Yoshino departed before her son to handle other business while the pair played a game of shogi. Her cousin tried to go easy on her, she could tell, but even then she lost.
"Don't worry about it. You're just distracted," Shikamaru pointed out but didn't prod further.
Even as her heart was deciding to play the part of a wood house in the middle of tornado, Shikamaru proved to be a fortress of impenetrable defense. He didn't prod her with questions; he didn't push against her crumbling barriers or smother her. Her Shika could see the storm raging within; he knew she was one more hug, comment or thought away from her illusion collapsing.
She was grateful to have him.
At the end of their game, Shikamaru got up and rested his hand on hers in silent comfort.
I'm here for you, whenever you need me, the gesture relayed to her.
Amari turned her hand over and squeezed his back to acknowledge and thank him for his support.
"I've got to go train with Asuma-sensei. Him and mom have been on me constantly about keeping up my training. Dad, too." He breathed out a sigh. "It's been a real drag."
Amari managed a tired giggle then nodded to him. "Good luck, Shika. Train extra hard for me." He nodded and, after a brief reluctant pause, released her hand.
As he reached the door, she spoke up again. "Shika?" Her cousin stopped and turned his head to meet her eye. "I…"
She paused in her apology and desire to tell him that she loved him. The words were caught in her throat. Caught by a sob that wanted so desperately to breathe. Her eyes watered.
"I know, 'Risu," Shikamaru soothed. "Take it easy, all right?"
"Not like I can train in this troublesome place," was what she wanted to jest back with. But her voice wouldn't come up and all she could manage was a nod to avoid falling into tears. Her cousin respectfully took his leave.
Again Amari hugged her legs close to her body and hid her face in them, wiping away the one sole tear that managed to sneak past her barricades as soon as it started to fall.
Thank you, Shika.
Review Response to ChillinInKonoha: She's back! :) I'm still debating with myself on Sage Mode. And as for Orochimaru, well he has a few tricks up his slithering sleeves.
Thank you for the review!