Okay, don't ak how I came up with this. I was listening to Les Miserables while I was playing Tales of Symphonia, and suddenly, BOOM! I found myself thinking 'Instead of this whole 'stop the bad guy' plot, they should all do Les Miserables..Yeah...' So..if you don't like it, don't read it. I think you might enjoy it a little bit more if you've seen/read/heard Les Miserables, but I can't stop you if you haven't. So, without further ado, Les Miserables, casted by Mithos Yggdrasill! Rated T for language later(Possibly..and just to be safe..), and...excuse me for OOC-ness. When is most humorous fanfics in IC? Honestly!
Disclaimer: I do not own ToS, or Les Miserables.. If I did..it would be a musical, and all the main characters would die in the end. If I owned Les Miserables, Eponine wouldn't have died and she would've taken over the world.
CHAPTER ONE:
The Casting
In front of Colette's house, Iselia, 3:00 P.M
"Chocolat!" Lloyd cried, running a few steps towards his hated enemy, Lord Yggdrasill, "Let her go!"
"Hahahaahaha! You think a dog such as yourself can stop me?" Yggdrasill laughed an evil laughed, "Pathetic."
"Stop! What are you planning on doing to her!" Lloyd shouted, his hands balled into fists, "Are you thinking about using her as a vessel for Martel?"
"Huh? Heavens no!" Mithos smiled, "I'm thinking of something much...much worse."
"Let her go!" Colette cried, "We'll do whatever you want!"
"...Why don't we just kick the crap out of him?" Zelos asked, frowning.
"Shut up, dummy!" Yggdrasill barked, "Fine! I guess you can pay for this girl's freedom.."
"How? By giving you Colette?" Sheena growled, "No way!"
"Er..that's good, but not quite," Mithos blinked, "I'll have to remember that one. No. You eight, along with the desians, Kratos, Yuan, and the Renegades shall..."
He paused for dramatic effect, and everyone covered their heads..for some odd reason.
"...Preform the play 'Les Miserables' for me! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The party blinked, and looked at each other, before bursting out laughing.
"You...you want to us put on a play for you!" Genis laughed, colapsing from exhaustion.
"Genis, are you alright?" Presea asked, not seeing what was so funny.
"Indeed," Regal frowned, "Why would you have us preform a play?"
"Don't ask questions!" Yggdrasill hissed, "Unless you want Chocolate..or whatever her name if to die"
"NO!" Lloyd and Colette cried at the same time, "We'll do it!"
"Very wise decision," Mithos smirked, "Auditions will be tomorrow morning at 10 A.M. Don't be late, or her life will be a short one." He cackled, and disappeared.
"Guys, are we really going to do this?" Zelos sighed, shaking his head, "I know the Great Zelos is just so beautiful, and I'm wonderful at broadway, but for that guy?"
"...Hmm...a play..Have you heard of this 'Lay Mizerables'?" Raine frowned, in her usual thinking position.
"No.." everyone said at once, and sighed.
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Somewhere in Welgaia, 9:55 A.M.
"Well, I see you made it," Yuan said scornfully as the paryt entered the city of angels, Lloyd in the front.
"Hmph, you're just jealous because you know you're not going to get a lead part," Kratos smirked, folding his arms and looking away.
"Quiet you!" Yuan hissed.
"Good, you're all here," Mithos Yggdrasill smiled brightly, floating up to them, Chocolat behind him.
"Chocolat!" Colette cried.
"Ignore the girl for once!" Mithos snapped, "You have more important business to attend to! Now! Welcome to the auditions for the play "Les Miserables!" I'm sure you're all very excite-You worthless chosen! WAKE UP!"
He cast judgement on Tethe'alla's chosen, and while everyone ese was prepared and had time to cast things like "Force Field", "Guardian!" and "Earthly Proection!", Zelos had no warning whatsoever, so he was struck full on with the blow.
"AHHHH! What the heck do you think you're trying to do!" he bellowed, standing up, still smoking.
"Take this! First Aid!" Kratos shouted, and everyone stared at him.
"You know...I've wondered for a long time, Kratos.." Yuan said, "Why do you say 'Take this'? Couldn't you say something a little more...friendly?"
"FRIENDLINESS IS FOR THE WEAK!" Kratos bellowed, and folded his arms again.
"Ooookay," Yggdrasill coughed, and shunned Kratos for the moment, "Anyways, ont-"
"If friendliness is for the weak, how come you always complimented me when I was couragous and suggested to be a friend and stuffs?" Lloyd blinked, tilting his head.
"Yeah, yeah!" Colette and Genis chimed.
"Uh...UH..Well...you see.." Kratos coughed, and scowled, "LIGHTNING BLADE!"
The three youngest were shocked, and fell to the ground, 'dead.'
"NOOO! MY ACTORS!" Mithos cried, and slapped Kratos, "You meany! I'm tellin' your doggie."
"...Noishe isn't a dog..he's a protozoan," Kratos smirked, glad he was more intelligent than Lord Yggdrasill.
"JERK!" Mithos shouted, "HOLY JUDGEMENT!"
So now Kratos, Lloyd, Colette, and Genis were all dead, so they had to wait an extra two minutes for Raine to resurect them, since she didn't have the EX Compound that helped her spell times decrease.
"cough ANYWAYS...We will finally start the auditions!" Yggdrasill cried.
"Okay..what do we have to do?" Sheena asked, poking Lloyd with a stick.
"Stop that! Why are you doing it anyways?" Lloyd growled.
"Umm...Wouldn't you like to know?" Sheena smirked, and turned away.
"Ahem!" Yggdrasill growled, "Now...You will undergo a couple of tests to see if you are worthy of a lead role, or a foolish extra part! Your first test: Balancing a stack on pancakes on your head!"
"How is that a test?" Yuan and Raine asked at the same time, then glared at each other.
"Do I really have to answer? NOW GO TO IT!" he shouted, and angels appeared, each with a plate with a pile of pancakes on them.
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Still in Welgaia, 10:30 A.M.
With everyone with slimy, syrupy pancakes placed on their heads, the audition was ready to begin.
"Now, everyone. Don't forget...Balance with grace! Like so!" he cried, and got into an incredibly stupid and desturbing position, kind of like the Superman Pose.
Kratos vomitted on the floor, and Lloyd suddenly became dizzy. No one paid attention to them or Yggdrasill; they were too busy balancing the pancakes.
"Alright! let the auditions...BEGIN!" he shouted, and waved a small red flag that appeared out of thin air, with no plausable causes as to why.
Three people got out in the first minute. Colette had syrup dripping onto her nose, so she tried to lick it off. As it is nearly impossible for someone with an average-sized tongue to lick one's nose, Colette failed, but somehow ended up tripping, and getting disqualified.
Raine, interested in the history of pancaked and why we put syrup on it, touched it with her hands, and so Yggdrasill got mad and pushed her to the ground.
"You cheated!" Raine cried.
"So? I'm Lord Yggdrasill!" he grinned.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"...DON'T QUESTION ME!" he squealed, and skipped off.
And Regal, interested in making pancakes to awe and amazing the crowd, wanted to learn the recipe, so he raised his hand to ask someone. But, when he raised his hand, he made his head tilt, and the pancakes fell off.
"NOOOOOOOO! SUCH A WASTE!" he cried, and wept over the death of his beloved.
Well, instead of going over the rest of the party's loss, I'll just skip that part. Presea got out, then Genis, then Sheena. Soon Lloyd and Kratos fell, until it was only Yuan and Zelos. Tension was high, and the two glared daggers at each other.
"I...will not lose..to someone like you.." Yuan growled, straining to keep his pancakes on. He wabbled slightly, but was doing a pretty good job.
"Hmm? Did you say something?" Zelos yawned, and everyone gasped. he was boredly sitting on the floor, his pancakes still perfectly on the floor, and he wobbled not an inch.
"No! Zelos can't win!" Sheena cried, "Zelos! I...I LOVE YOU"
"Really? Good job at finally admitting your feelings, my volumptious hunny!" he grinned, and the pancakes fell down his face, and onto the floor.
"NOOO! I have lost!" Zelos cried, and hugged Sheena's legs.
"Ew! Get off me!" Sheena shrieked, and hid behind Lloyd. '
"YAY! You won!" Kratos grinned, and the two embraced.
Everyone in the room gasped, and Sheena hid more.
"...What?" Yggdrasill blinked, and shrugged, "Anyways! I have decided the parts!"
"But didn't you say a couple of tests? That was only one.." Genis frowned.
"...SILENCE, INFERIOR BEING!" he shouted, and slapped Genis.
"I'm a half-elf..."
"Oh...For the role of Jean Valjean, I have chosen..my favorite human...KRATOS!" he grinned, and hugged a Kratos doll.
"...I love you...Noishe.." Kratos sighed, cradling a Noishe doll.
"..Kratos..you got the lead role.." Regal frowned.
"YES! HA! IN YOUR FACE, YUAN!" Kratos laughed, and stick his nose up in the air.
"Grr...LIGHTNING BLADE!" Yuan screamed, and Raine sighed.
"Not again..." she muttered, and Kratos was hit, and he died again.
"Now, as for the role of Javert..YUAN!" Yggdrasill clapped polietly, and yawned.
"YAY!" Yuan cheered, and kicked a random angel.
"Now, onto the boring parts. Fantine is Raine, Marius is Lloyd, Cosette goes to Colette, Eponine will be played by Sheena, Enjolras is Zelos, M. and Mme. Thenardie by Genis and Presea..and Regal..we just don't like you."
Regal sighed, "Aww...fine. THEN I SHALL COOK FOR THE CAST!"
"You do that anyways.." Lloyd frowned.
"Oh...riiiight," Regal nodded, and wept over the pancakes again.
"Well..now that we know the parts..Tomorrow I shall give you all your scripts, and I shall give you one week to memorize them. GOOD LUCK! Now, Chocolate..let's go," Mithos yawned, and started to float away.
"My name's Chocolat! Not Chocolate!" she screamed, and followed him.
"Whatever..they're close enough. Mmm...let's go get some chocolate..I'm hungry"
"Okay!" Chocolat grinned, and the two disappeared.
"What awaits us now?" Regal asked quietly, and Sheena blinked at him,
"What do you care? You're not even in the play!" she exclaimed.
"Well, let's all go get some sleep..and Yuan and I shall try to murder
each other in our sleep," Kratos beamed, and Yuan and he
disappeared.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
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Sooo...that's the first part. You can make fun of it all you want..I don't care. But please review! I won't update until I get at least three positive reviews..or four negative ones. Thankies in advance! Catching mistakes and reporting them to me would be appreciated!