Chapter 67

Shattered Hopes and Broken Walls: Down, but Never Out

Marshmallow white clouds crawled across the sunset painted sky, carried farther inland on the shinobi continent by a westward breeze.

Concealed beneath the shade of a tree canopy, Mimi watched the clouds pass her by, brooding over Lee's situation, envying the simplicity of clouds, for once. She wasn't a lazy Nara, unlike the Slacker. She loved the thrill of a fight, of being challenged, and the gratification of overcoming a difficult task.

This once she wanted things to be simple. Screw her pride. Screw her desire to figure out advanced procedures. She'd be okay as long as Amari, Kakashi and Lee were healed. No, she'd be better than okay. Hot-blooded joy would have flooded Mimi's veins. She would have buzzed with boundless excitement, to the point of bouncing on her toes for hours on end, rendering sleep impossible tonight.

No hot-blooded joy ever found her. No bouncing excitement tickled her skin or left her cheeks hurting from grinning. Even her high regard for the legendary Lady Tsunade found itself extinguished.

In a span of less than ten minutes Tsunade went from everything she thought she'd be—unbelievably beautiful and the greatest medic-nin to ever walk the shinobi world—to someone she couldn't believe she admired.

"It's best if you give up your career as a shinobi. Find a different path."

Mimi shut her eyes tightly and suppressed the growl rumbling in her throat. Damn Old Hag, telling him to give up like that. She didn't even consider the possibility of increasing the chances of the procedure…

"You can go to hell!" had been her fiery retort.

They still felt right.

"Don't you even dare consider giving up!" she had demanded of Lee. "There's a way to increase your chances with the procedure, Lee. I've been working on this jutsu that will help. All I need is a little more time to perfect it."

"Mimi…"

The way he had said her name, like he was a doctor delivering the unfortunate news of a loved one's passing, it killed a piece of her heart. Lee was quitting; he heard her sweet promise as just another false hope. Another vague promise he couldn't bring himself to believe.

Mimi refused to stand for it. She couldn't. Lee was too important to her and to Team Guy. When Neji insulted her, Lee stood up in her defense. When she felt the cold talons of isolation digging themselves into her skin again, Lee's warm purity melted it all away. Lee was the spirit of Team Guy. Without him…

No, Mimi refused to accept that reality. She would heal Lee, damn whatever the Old Hag had to say!

"Don't. Give. Up. I'm going to fix this."

Mimi had strode through the adults and managed to slide the door open before Tsunade spoke up again.

"The procedure is a fifty-fifty chance, kid. There isn't anything you can do about it, not at your age."

She felt herself bristle. It took every molecule of willpower to not string together venomous curses no apology could fix. The Old Hag was still her Hokage, whether she liked it or not.

With slit pupils she glared over her shoulder at the Hokage.

"Watch me."

Mimi went home after that. Fury and attitude irradiated off her; it made her skin tingle, tensed her jaw, made her nails dig into her palms; her rising body temperature added to the discomfort, irritating her further.

Amari didn't need to deal with her attitude. Whenever she cooled off then she'd visit her friend, she promised herself, but until then her best decision was to head home to work.

Sitting still wasn't possible, though. Mimi tried. She reminded herself again and again that figuring out this jutsu was more important than her boiling rage. Lee's future couldn't wait for her to cool off. But her heart refused to calm. Her mind raced around pointless things she wanted to say to the Old Hag, curses she wanted to spit her way for telling Lee to give up on the one thing he dreamed about.

Inevitably Mimi decided to walk away from her desk. Away from these problems, at least until her fury simmered down. In this state of mind she'd make mistakes, mistakes that would cost Lee his life, and she couldn't afford failure now. Not when she was the only one left willing to heal him.

After sealing away her notes, books, a towel and an extra pair of clothes into a storage scroll, Mimi set off on a walk with Aoko to find a secluded stream.

Bodies of water, large or small, had always provided a sense of relief to her. The soothing sounds of a calm stream or the untamable and never-ending roar of a waterfall were nature's music; the feel of the current over her skin, fish racing past her legs were a salve to her soul.

When she dunked her head beneath the water and shut her eyes, the outside world ceased to exist. No bullies. No suspicious eyes questioning her loyalty. No issues with Neji. No Akatsuki. And now no Old Hag.

Just…peace.

Eventually, after an hour of respite, Mimi exited the stream to strip out of her soaked clothes, dry off and replace them with a fresh set; her waterlogged clothing hung nearby, dripping onto the grass. Aoko had curled up on the Inuzuka's stomach as she laid next to the bank, eyes shut in deep thought.

There was so much to do to prove the Old Hag wrong. This would probably be her last break for a very long time, at least until she figured out how to increase the success rate of her Cell Activation Jutsu.

Maybe the seclusion of a library could help her study. Hana will probably be mad at me again, but she'll understand. She'll know why I had to do this.

Tsunade had given up without looking for some way to aid Lee. Maybe she didn't care or maybe she did. It didn't matter. Mimi cared, and she wasn't about to let anyone—not even the legendary Tsunade—tell her what was and wasn't possible.

It's our duty as medical-ninja's to do everything in our power to heal others. I know there are some injuries and conditions that can't be healed. I understand I can't heal everyone, but I will not give up on anyone until I've pursued every avenue possible.

Telling her it was impossible only intensified her resolve.

I'll show her, Mimi promised herself.

But that would have to wait until tomorrow. Her mind still wasn't right, and she had a promise to keep to Amari. Which brought Mimi back to her current position: hidden in the shade of a tree canopy, dressed in a ash grey one-shoulder long sleeve—revealing her left shoulder from her neck to the top of her bicep—black shorts with her blue sweater tied around her waist.

Mimi flicked her eye to the right, sniffed the air and listened closely to the sound of retreating footsteps followed by a sliding door. "Hmm. Sounds like the nurse is finally leaving," she said.

"And they left the window open for Amari. How nice of them to provide us an easy entrance," Aoko quipped with a toothy grin.

Mimi grinned in return and raised her eyes towards the top of her head, where her ninken lounged. "Heh, my sentiments exactly, Aoko." She readjusted from a relaxed seated position into a crouch. "Let's go see how she's doing."

It took all of two jumps to make it to the windowsill of Amari's room—one down and one up. And as soon as she landed on the windowsill—

"Hey Mimi," Amari greeted in a soft voice.

The Nara sat upright in her bed, an open book held in hand—a novel, from the look of it. The positioning of the book and Amari's hands made it impossible to tell what the title was, though she appeared to be at the beginning.

"So much for surprising her."

Mimi grinned and hopped down into the room, sandals clapping on the floor. "How'd you know?"

"Sensory Type, remember?"

Heh, right. She'd forgotten about that without her friend around this last month.

Amari turned the page of her book. "It helps you were just outside, too. My range is pretty limited in my current state. Lady Tsunade healed the trauma of the Tsukuyomi, but my body and mind feel…hm."

The Nara pursed her lips in consideration of her current condition. When she began to speak again, Mimi felt herself almost leaning in to listen, curious to learn any side effects Amari was experiencing, and what she may be able to do to help alleviate them.

"It feels like I used an enhanced Food Pill to fight for three straight days without a single break. Reading is challenging. There's a haze overwhelming my senses, making it hard to focus. I'm beyond exhausted.

"I feel like this character, actually. She's a soldier who's been fighting a long, terrible war as the tip of the spear. Her armor is broken. Her legs can barely carry her forward. She can't even remember when the last time she sat down was. But people are counting on her, so she keeps trudging forward as best she can."

Amari's appearance matched her description perfectly. At a quick glance she appeared as if this recent incident never happened, and they never fought on the front-lines of the Invasion. Just normal Amari, rested and reserved as she always was.

But a closer examination released the genjutsu; the illusion collapsed and exposed the slouched shoulders bearing a burden of grief and loss, the drained eye struggling to focus on the words in front of her, the worn down features that made Amari appear two or three years older than she actually was.

Remarkable what the pain of loss could do to a person, inside and out.

"A month of sleep wasn't enough for you?" Mimi jested, approaching the bed with a grin. "Don't tell me that Slacker is starting to influence you. Do you know how utterly dull that'd be? Here I was preparing for a historic rematch! Who's gonna keep me on my toes if you stop training and start napping more?"

Amari's lip twitched up into an amused smirk, her eye finally leaving the pages of her book to meet Mimi's. "You better stay on your toes. I'm still going to beat you one of these days."

"Challenge accepted, Amari," Mimi grinned.

She's still got some fire in her, she noted. Embers, sure, but embers were more than enough. Amari had proven that against the three Sound shinobi, through their fight, the Invasion and the Akatsuki incident.

"Anyway," Amari continued, "sleep was never an option available to me. Apparently the genjutsu on my mind decided I needed to be trained into the ground by a Jōnin leveled opponent; I've pretty much spent this last month stuck in my mindscape being pummeled. It was such a drag," she sighed.

The Inuzuka raised her eyebrows. "Damn. That had to be one hell of a month."

"If you only knew," the Nara replied, wearing a smile that hinted at so much more than she let on.

Amari scanned the page of her book then shut it, setting it down opposite of the Inuzuka. Then she patted the bed. "You can sit up here with Aoko. Doctors and nurses won't be around for a while."

Mimi dipped her head in gratitude and took the offered seat. Aoko hopped off her head, onto the bed and then sprang into the Uchiha's lap, dive bombing her with all the exuberance of an excited puppy.

Amari giggled pleasantly and patted the ninken on her head. "Nice to see you too, Aoko."

"I am pleased to see you well again," she murmured back.

"She's pleased to see you well again," Mimi translated. "You gave us all a scare back there."

To put it mildly. Watching Amari's life threatened by Itachi before being whisked away; racing against the clock, not knowing if they'd even reach Amari in time, it was one of the most stressful and frightening moments of Mimi's shinobi career so far.

She hoped it'd be the last.

"I'm sorry," Amari apologized sincerely. Her eye drifted to the side for a brief second—guilt—then returned to Aoko. "I can't say I didn't know it wouldn't end well, or that I wouldn't do it again…but I didn't mean to hurt everyone."

Which is why you're trying to hide your pain from us, Mimi analyzed. You're pretending you're okay for our sake. To spare us all from more pain.

While you're suffering inside.

Unconsciously, Mimi sighed. So, this was how it felt to be on the other side of a mask. To be put at arms distance by someone she cared about. She didn't like it. Not one bit.

It had taken her years and a stubborn older sister to realize it was okay to let her walls down, that it didn't make her weak to talk honestly to Hana about how she felt. Hana listened to everything; how confused and hurt it made her when people cast their suspicious gazes her way; how angry she was inside, and how ready she was to just…hurt people in retribution.

How some days she just wanted to cry because she missed her parents so much.

Hana never judged her for her feelings; she showed sympathy and helped her to find the rays of sunlight breaking through the cumulonimbus clouds over her head…and when it became impossible to hold back tears, Hana held her close and never let her go.

Maybe she could be that for Amari. Maybe she could be a solid foundation for her to hold onto, as the older sister Amari saw her as.

"What you did was honorable. Courageous, too," Mimi spoke up, voice quieted by the serious nature of the subject. "Without your interference, Kakashi-sensei, Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei may not even be here right now. You saved them, Amari, whether by inspiring them to fight through injuries to protect you, or by sacrificing yourself in their place. Your actions and your will saved everyone.

"Yeah, you scared us. Yeah, it hurt to lose you this last month." Mimi reached forward and took Amari's hand into her own. "We all missed you. But you're back now, and that's what matters. None of our drama is yours to bear, so don't shell up and act like you're in perfect health. It won't help you."

"I'll be fine," Amari deflected, hand slipping out from hers.

The small distancing hurt. But this fight wasn't over. Denial and deflection were old friends, and Mimi wasn't at all happy to see them rooming with Amari now.

Hopefully they hadn't gotten too comfortable, because she was about to evict their asses.

Settling into her resolve, Mimi crossed her right leg under her left, turned towards Amari and met her exhausted eye with unwavering intensity. "Drop the mask, Amari. You're not fooling me."

"Mimi," Aoko chided her.

Mimi flicked her eyes to her ninken. "You know what she's doing isn't healthy. You saw me go through it, Aoko, and you know how bad it got," she argued.

A deep exhale of defeat left Aoko. She did know. She'd been there right beside Mimi through it all, witnessing the pain she inflicted on others over the pain she harbored in her heart, as well as the days when she just felt numb inside.

They couldn't let Amari go down that path. Mimi couldn't let her.

Turning her fierce blue eyes back to the Nara, Mimi refused to relent. "Listen Amari, you need to lose the mask. Wearing it does nothing good, believe me."

"…I'll lose my mask when you get rid of yours." The counter stunned Mimi. Off balance, she inhaled sharply and opened her mouth to retort, but the Uchiha was quicker on the follow-up blow. "I know Lee wasn't healed."

The words she wanted to say were slain by that simple sentence, the porcelain mask she'd chosen to wear all but shattering off her.

Sensing the weakness, the Nara capitalized to finish her off. "Tenten stopped by looking for you earlier; she's worried about you, you know. I understand why, since you apparently stormed out of the hospital and disappeared for the last several hours. And now you suddenly show up out of the blue after visiting hours are over, acting like everything is fine?"

Amari shook her head. "Whatever happened with Lee and Tsunade set you off, so much you went to a place where people close to you couldn't find you." Amari's solitary eye met hers with matched intensity. "So drop your mask and I may drop mine."

A frown creased Mimi's lips. "Damn Nara's. Too smart for your own good," she grumbled.

How the tables had turned. She expected Amari to be too tired to debate or argue. Instead she was the one called out on the carpet, left in a position where dropping her mask was the only way she'd get Amari to open up too. Clever of her, Mimi couldn't deny, and fair.

How could she expect Amari to be honest about how she felt if she wasn't willing to be honest either?

"It's going to be entertaining to see you face Tenten's wrath," Aoko teased.

Mimi knitted her brows and stared at her companion. "Laugh it up while you can, Aoko. If I'm facing her wrath, you're going under the wagon with me."

"But I'm an innocent puppy. How could I possibly know what you were doing?"

"Oh, don't you play the 'I'm an innocent puppy' card on me."

"I don't know what you're talking about. You sound like a crazy person talking to a puppy," Aoko replied cheekily.

Mimi rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the backup, Aoko," she said, her tone dryer than the Land of Wind's desert.

The little traitor.

I can't blame you for avoiding Tenten's wrath. The Inuzuka sighed. Still, I'm sorry for abandoning and worrying you, Tenten…but it was better that I went off alone. You didn't need to deal with my mood.

She'd have to apologize later. Right now there were other matters to settle.

Mimi turned her head to stare out at the window she had entered in, remaining silent as her mood fell. No masks. No defenses. It was still difficult for her to do, even with Amari, who had seen her best and worst moments through that strange connection they shared in their fight.

Vulnerability, her inability to show it was one of her major flaws, joined by her quick temper and her innate desire to repay an eye for an eye when she felt wronged.

…But for Amari, she'd try her best.

"She wouldn't heal Lee," she stated, defeated by the reality she couldn't escape.

"Wouldn't or couldn't?" Amari asked.

Another sigh, heavier than the last. Her entire body slouched beneath the weight of Lee's condition, a weight now resting completely on her shoulders.

"The procedure to heal Lee with Lady Tsunade performing it is a fifty-fifty shot. Those odds are too low for anyone to perform it, even someone of her skill," Mimi explained.

"I'm assuming there is a 'but' coming?"

"But there's a way to increase the odds."

The Inuzuka reached into her back pouch and grabbed her sealing scroll containing all of her notes. She unsealed her notes on the Cell Activation Jutsu and handed it over to the Nara.

"Check this out. I know you haven't studied Medical Ninjutsu, but it's the general concept you'll get."

Amari took a moment to read over the paper in its entirety, humming now and then as she pieced together the information. "You want to activate all the cells in the body so it heals itself while a medical-ninja is operating. The jutsu would, in theory, turn a life threatening procedure into something not nearly as life threatening."

"Right," Mimi nodded.

"Interesting. I'm not sure about a lot of the in depth medical stuff, but the amount of chakra control required is beyond me. Chakra reserves, however…" Amari handed the paper back over. "Our chakra reserves combined could suffice."

"I…didn't think about that," she admitted, taking the paper.

She focused so hard on doing it all on her own. But with Amari feeding me her chakra, plus my own, I'd probably have enough chakra to complete it. She bit her lip. But it still comes down to the skill to perform the procedure. That's where my weakest point is currently, and getting my chakra control even more refined is a necessity as well.

All in all, even if Amari did help her, she wasn't close enough yet to pulling off the procedure successfully.

Better than turning to the Old Hag for help. At least this way I'm relying on people who actually care and are willing to help.

"Can I count on your help when I figure this out?" she asked, as she sealed her notes away.

"Do you really need to ask, Mimi?"

No, she supposed she didn't. If there was one person she knew she could always count on outside of her team and family, it was Amari.

"Thanks." Amari nodded. "Your turn to drop your mask."

"I…can't. Not all the way."

"You don't have to drop it all the way. Not in front of me, at least." Mimi understood. Sisters or not, pride was a flaw they shared. "Just don't pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows for everyone else. You have every right to show your pain, and if they can't accept that then they need to get over themselves."

And I'll knock some sense into them with my bare hands when you're not around if they don't, she promised. If anyone tried to minimize what Amari was going through because of their own drama, she'd rip them to shreds, no questions asked. No second chances.

Mimi reached her hand forward again to hold Amari's again. She was relieved when the Nara didn't yank it away a second time.

"Listen," she started, voice soft, "I'm not going to say I know what you're going through right now. My parents died on a mission, and I've had years to cope with that reality. You've barely had a day to process everything that happened.

"But you saw what I turned into. I became someone I'm not proud of because I held everything in until it exploded. Learn from my mistakes, please." Mimi squeezed her sister's hand. "I went down a lot of wrong roads. I thought that letting Hana help me would make me a burden." She shook her head. "We are not burdens to the people who cherish us. They want to help. Let them in, even if it's only one step at a time."

Silence fell between them. In Amari's eye, though, she could see walls beginning to crumble. Amari's hand began to tighten around hers. "…I…don't know how much longer I can keep up this tough front, Mimi," Amari spoke in a whisper. "I am barely holding myself together. I can still see him. Feel him. Hear his voice."

Mimi's heart squeezed hard at the sight of tears welling in Amari's eye. "I can feel my last hug with him and his love…and it hurts so much."

The broken waver of her voice nearly brought Mimi to tears. It made every fiber of her soul demand to pull Amari into a warm hug, where none of this pain could hurt her. Internally and externally she struggled against the urge; she felt herself leaning forward and scooting closer, only to immediately pull back when on the verge of embracing her.

She couldn't do it, for Amari's sake. Hugging her now would shatter the last of her defenses and leave her a sobbing mess.

Even though the older sibling in her wanted to be the pillar of strength, sympathy and support, Mimi realized the sensitivity of this situation reserved that spot for one of three people—her uncle, her teacher or her mother.

"Which is why you can't hold this in," Mimi said, still fighting not to hug Amari. She was almost squirming, body twitching and leaning forward then back in a visible tug-of-war.

Mimi took a breath to settle the rattled nerves in her. "You don't have to let this out in front of me or your teammates, but you need to with Kurenai-sensei or you'll destroy yourself."

Amari nodded in silent understanding. Neither spoke a word for a long while; no words felt appropriate. Mimi just held onto her hand, rubbing her thumb along the back of it in a silent show of support while Amari battled to slip her crumbling mask back on.

Eventually, the Nara spoke again. "Any good missions lately?"

The change of subject was necessary, if only as a distraction from the heavy emotions choking them.

"Besides fighting a roaming group of rogue ninjas? Nope," Mimi wisecracked.

Amari's lips quirked up into a small smile. "Care to share?"

The rogue team they tracked down, Mimi explained, was comprised of three Chūnin led by one Jōnin, all previously from Konoha. Their knowledge of the landscape aided their banditry while their skill kept them untouchable against the average security of towns beyond Konoha's walls.

When they finally met in their final battle, Guy separated the leader from his cronies, leaving Neji, Tenten and Mimi to battle the three Chūnin together. A hard fight, but with a creative plan and some brute force they overcame their opponents and captured them.

"Guy-sensei's punch hit the leader so hard, the guy crashed through a tree trunk and imprinted his body on a boulder. Had to heal his internal injuries so he wouldn't die on the walk back."

"Ouch," Amari giggled.

"As for the other three goons, we lured them to a nearby lake they'd taken shelter by. One of the arrogant pricks taunted me the whole way, almost got far enough under my skin that I considered ditching my plan to drill him into the ground with a Fang over Fang."

"So you, Tenten and Neji all converged on the lake like trapped rats in their eyes when in reality you were right in your element," Amari stated.

"Yep. Blindsided those bastards with three smaller Water Dragons but only managed to nail two out of the three. The third was so distracted he got caught by the extended chain of Tenten's Kusarigama. She had him perfectly wrapped up for Neji's Gentle Fist attacks."

"One down."

The Inuzuka nodded. "And two to go. I created a small army of Water Clones to overwhelm them, then Neji, Tenten, Aoko and I launched our final assault. The chumps never stood a chance."

And had Lee been there, they'd have beaten the rogue shinobis even quicker. He'll be back. I'll make sure of it.

"Sounds like a good mission. Guess I'll have to beat your story next time I get out there," Amari said, smiling softly as she did.

Mimi grinned. "Heh, good luck."

She glanced out the window; the sun was practically set, the warm colors almost faded to darkness. Hmm, didn't realize how late it had gotten. Time flies.

"I should get back home. Aunty Tsume and Hana are probably gonna give me an ear full for disappearing." Which she wasn't looking forward to in the slightest.

"I don't blame you. I heard your aunt shout down our sensei's. I wouldn't want to be on her bad side."

Mimi's lips tugged up into a smile. It had been an odd start to their friendship, but she wouldn't change it for anything.

"Aunty Tsume can be pretty damn scary when she wants to be," she agreed, nodding slightly. Mimi hopped off the bed and turned back to face Amari. "Well, I'll see you around, Amari."

"Hopefully soon in a spar," Aoko added, nuzzling Amari one last time. "It would be nice to get a good exercise again."

"In a spar for a nice exercise would be nice," the Inuzuka translated before leaning forward to pick up her ninken and place her on her head.

As Aoko settled on her head, Mimi placed her fist out for a fist bump; it wasn't a hug, but it was the next best thing she could think of. Amari smiled warmly and lightly bumped her fist against it.

"You need anything, just ask. I'll do what I can to help," Mimi promised.

"Thank you. Same goes for you though. See you both later."

"See you."

Mimi strolled to the window and hopped onto the windowsill, only to pause. She turned her head to look back at Amari. "And don't forget what we talked about. I mean it. Don't be afraid to let it out."

"…I'll try. You can leave the window open."

With a final nod, Mimi jumped out of the window back down to the ground and then up into the trees.

"I think we made head room with Amaririsu," Aoko rumbled from her head. "What she has endured will not go away with our words or the words of another. But you did good, Mimi."

"Thanks, Aoko." Mimi pushed off a branch and continued on her way. "She'll get through it. She's a tough one."

"Reminds me of a dear companion of mine," Aoko said in a heartfelt manor.

The Inuzuka smiled. "I guess you're right about that…and thank you."

"You're welcome, Mimi."

The pair of kunoichi were down on odds today. But they weren't out of the fight yet. They'd both push forward and get stronger from it. That's what ninjas did.

And we'll give each other support when it's needed.

That's what sisters were for.

The black tapestry of night, sewed with magnificent twinkling stars and a glowing half-moon, covered Konoha. Within the Village, ninja patrolled the streets and walls, the curfew in effect keeping the civilian population and off-duty shinobi tucked in the safety of their homes.

Kakashi wondered how long the curfew would last. Months? A year? Until Lady Tsunade's inauguration? He supposed it'd come down to future circumstances; another incident with the Akatsuki or one of the other Nations could change a lot, and likely not for the better.

Fragile times were always the hardest to predict. Too much pressure here or there and the glass could shatter in a way they did not expect, usually into a worse situation than previously assumed, and then the edge they currently lived on would become the crumbling edge of a cliff.

At least that's how it happened in his experience.

The Akatsuki incident was proof of it. It had been a bad situation, one that could have ended in any number of terrible ways for him, Kurenai and Asuma; death at the hands of either Uchiha could have been as swift or as painful as they desired, while Kisame could have grotesquely shredded their fragile bodies apart with Samehada.

Yet Kakashi hadn't seen Amari's interference coming, or how the culmination of events would lead to everything that occurred.

Tenzō had caught him up on everything he could, which helped Kakashi begin to figure a plan out for his inevitable departure from the hospital.

Most important was learning Amari's situation; apparently Jiraiya hadn't heeded his warning completely, a decision that clearly ended poorly for him if his loud scream of "YOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" was anything to go by.

Otherwise, when he asked, the news around Amari wasn't reassuring.

"'Risu's fighting to keep her composure, but it's a battle she will lose," Shikaku informed on his visit.

Kakashi's pained sigh broke the silence in his moonlit room. He shut his right eye to enter complete darkness.

I can't say I'm surprised. Amari's always been one to suffer in silence. She goes out of her way to be strong for others, even when she's the one hurting the most. It's just who she is.

Kakashi followed a similar path. After all the pain and death he had suffered through, from his father's suicide, through the war and beyond, he tried to bury his pain. To be aloof and disconnected from his emotions and others. He became a by-the-book shinobi first, where only the mission mattered and nothing else, and then he fell headfirst into darkness after the death of his teammates and teacher.

Is that the path she's on now because I couldn't protect her?

Would she follow the same path he had to become cold and distant? He could already imagine her standing at Ryu's headstone or the Memorial Stone for hours on end, eyes absent of the fire and spirit Amari was known for.

Kakashi feared that the most; in fact, he dreaded it more than another battle against Itachi, Aimi and Kisame.

Exhaling through his nose, Kakashi opened his eye, determined to do whatever was necessary to prevent that reality. He wasn't able to protect her from Itachi, but he could stop her from plunging into that familiar hell; he could take her hand and guide her back towards the light before she lost her way.

It was time to leave this bed and check on his student. Mimi already laid the groundwork for him, according to Tenzō, by helping Amari realize she couldn't keep holding it all in; it'd destroy her, as it had destroyed him in the past.

For Amari's sake, he had to act now before she fell out of his reach again.

Kakashi slipped his legs out from under the bed sheet and turned to sit on the edge of the bed. His bare feet touched the cold floor, giving his nerves a small jolt. If I wasn't awake already, that would have done it.

He placed pressure on his feet and hands but didn't immediately get off the bed. A frown creased his lips. His legs, they didn't feel strong enough to support his weight, let alone strong enough to carry him to Amari's room. He was liable to collapse faster than a horse tripped mid-gallop if he tried to stand now.

"Going somewhere, Kakashi?" Tenzō's voice called from the door, where he hadn't been previously.

"You know where," he answered, trying to gather the strength to walk.

His old friend hummed in agreement but said nothing. Odd. Just the nature of the response pinged his suspicion; it seemed too easy, when he was certain an argument would ensue.

Kakashi cast a guarded glance his way. What was he up to? What was he thinking behind that cat-motif mask?

Tenzō's body barred passage through the door, his arms stubbornly crossed over his chest.

Kakashi's brow fell. "Do you intend to stop me?"

"As strong as you are, you're not entirely in a state to fight me if I was."

"It sounds like you're underestimating me, Tenzō." He kept his voice even, yet layered with a threatening tone beneath the surface. "Surely you haven't forgotten how our last encounter as enemies went."

Tenzō was a fantastic ninja, there was no doubt about it, but Kakashi had defeated plenty of fantastic shinobis without all of his strength at hand.

His old friend should remember that vividly.

Tenzō snorted, amused, but didn't budge. "Not a chance, Kakashi. I won't stop you if your mind is set on this, but you should consider something."

"And that is?"

"That you can't hold her hand forever." Kakashi's silent stare coaxed his old friend to continue. "Listen, I understand that she's your student, and that you're rightfully worried about her well-being, especially after she was put through the Tsukuyomi. From what you explained…well, I don't envy either of you.

"It's not wrong for you to care, but she's a shinobi, Kakashi. With Orochimaru and Itachi and Aimi seeking something from her, she is bound to endure more pain like this."

"You want me to let Amari get through this on her own," Kakashi stated.

"Consider letting her get through this on her own," Tenzō corrected. "One day she may be on a mission where she endures torture, escapes and has to fight her way home. She won't have someone to comfort her, to smile and tell her they'll protect her no matter what and get her home. She won't have you with her at all times. If she breaks down in the field—"

"She wouldn't," Kakashi stated firmly, but the conviction behind his words faltered.

Twice he bore witness to his student shattering in battle; first in the Land of Waves after the Lightning Blade, and more recently against Itachi.

Those moments had been the extreme, his mind tried to debate…but that was exactly what Tenzō meant. And he hated that he was right.

"What Amaririsu experienced was terrible; it says something about her willpower that she was still capable of fighting in spite of the intense grief and torture she sustained. But what she endured isn't the worst that can happen to a captured shinobi. Especially as a kunoichi."

Fire boiled Kakashi's blood instantly. Just the mere thought of what Tenzō was alluding to… His fingers curled into the edge of the bed, his heart pumped the fire through the rest of his body. The tile no longer felt cold.

No gods or jutsu would be able to save a person who even tried to perform such a heinous act to his students.

"She needs to be able to overcome this grief on her own," Tenzō continued while Kakashi fumed internally. "As a shinobi, she can't have a breakdown in the field when things get tough. She needs to be strong enough to fight her own battles without you holding her hand."

Tenzō sounded harsh; however, he was coming from a pure place. And he was right, as much as Kakashi hated it.

Eventually Team Seven would grow up and begin taking on missions alone or on different team's altogether. He wouldn't be able to arrive just in the nick of time to save them from their toughest enemies forever. They'd need to be able to hold their own, and their hearts would have to be strong enough to endure the realities of shinobi life without him.

"I know," Kakashi conceded, sighing. "I get what you're saying, Tenzō. I do. But now isn't that time."

"What makes you say that?" Honest curiosity. At least he was willing to hear him out.

"Because this is the turning point."

Tenzō tilted his head to the side, the vague and ominous nature of his statement putting him off balance.

"Turning point? For what?"

"Who Amari will become in the future."

Amari had found her nindo and a dream to hold onto, but her future was something that others continued to meddle in. If she didn't have someone to solidify her foundation at this crucial moment, her course could change drastically.

Amari could embrace the Curse of Hatred…and then she'd become someone none of them would recognize.

It was a harsh reality he understood better now than ever before. A harsh reality he wished was only an illusion. But it wasn't an illusion. There was darkness within his student, constantly fighting to get a foothold in her heart, seeking to douse her Will of Fire so it could consume her very soul.

"Amari needs guidance, now more than ever," he argued. "She's been given memories of a past life where everyone she loved is dead. She needs to know she still has family who care about her well-being."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Best case scenario?" Tenzō nodded. "She hides her pain, becomes colder and more vindictive in her actions and doesn't care if she lives or dies."

Just like I did.

"Hm," his friend hummed in discomfort. Kakashi could sense the thoughtful frown beneath his mask. "And the worst case scenario?" he asked with a gesture of his hand.

"The despair in her heart will consume her…and from there she'll fall down a path of darkness that there is no turning back from."

It sounded overly dramatic, but Kakashi knew it to be true. The black chakra and tormented feelings of hatred and despair to irradiate off her…that consumed her…

He shut his eye and repressed a shudder.

"It's a place where everything around her is so dark, friends and family cannot be seen."

Tenzō was quiet for thoughtful beat. Then he heaved a sigh and let his arms fall down to his sides. "In that case, I won't argue. You know your student better than I do."

He reached behind his back and revealed a pair of wooden crutches he'd been hiding, no doubt crafted by his kekkei genkai. "You were always too stubborn to talk down when your mind was already made," Tenzō added lightly, as he approached.

Kakashi breathed out a laugh and took the crutches gratefully. "Guess so." Bracing his weight on them, he crutched his way to the door with Tenzō at his side. "Thank you for understanding, Tenzō."

"Don't mention it, Kakashi." He slid the door open for Kakashi and let him crutch a few steps away before speaking again. "She's sitting on her bed with her back to the door. I'll give you two some privacy."

Kakashi dipped his head in appreciation then crossed the short distance to the door. After steadying himself on the crutches he was able to slide the door open, revealing Amari sitting on the side of her bed, back turned to him and body slouched forward by the invisible weight bearing down on her.

The veil of fabric over the window rustled, caught by the breeze to drift into the moonlit room.

"Hi, Kakashi-sensei." Amari's voice was quiet—quieter than the normally soft-spoken child was. Meek, even.

Kakashi didn't speak. Sliding the door shut, he crutched forward at a pace his admittedly weak body was comfortable with. Each thunk of wood on the hospital floor disturbed the silence.

What a hectic mess they'd survived, Kakashi thought. Hectic and overwhelming, for both of them.

Things he wanted to say escaped him. Things he wished he'd been able to do to prevent all of this weighed on his heart. If only he'd been stronger, faster, smarter. Less arrogant in his belief wielding the Sharingan was enough to combat a true heir of the dōjutsu.

"I…understand if you're here to chastise or scold me for what I did. I know it was reckless and I could have died…would have died if it were anyone else," Amari said, her voice wavering. "I disobeyed a direct order from you and mom…and without Shisui I'd have lost myself to the Curse of Hatred. I hurt everyone…because I'm…because I'm a reckless idiot."

Kakashi said nothing. Reckless? Sure. But he'd been that way too. He was young once, believe it or not, and he had made countless mistakes. Greater mistakes than Amari had because it cost him the lives of the people he was meant to protect. First Obito, and then Rin.

If only he'd been stronger, faster, smarter.

If only…

"My greatest mistake was trying to do too much on my own, even when I had friends and family who were trying to help. It cost me my life."

If only it had cost Kakashi his own life, not the lives of others. But it hadn't. He couldn't save them, no matter how hard he tried, because he was too weak, too arrogant, too slow…

However…although he failed to protect Amari from the Akatsuki, she hadn't died.

Amari was still here, sitting before him, in need of someone to reach their hand out to her to bring her in from the storm.

Maybe he hadn't been able to protect her, but he could be here now. Isn't that what Obito and Rin would do? Support her and bring her in instead of drowning in guilt over an event he could no longer change?

Obito would have sat on the bed beside Amari, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and found a way to make her smile or laugh while being supportive. Rin would have held her in her arms until Amari was ready to be let go.

What could he do?

Kakashi rounded the bed with that question in mind and stood in front of his student. Amari kept eye pinned on her lap, as if absorbed by a fantastic painting, but he could see the tears glistening in her eye and the beginnings of trembles from holding everything in.

He should have thought of something to say before deciding to come here, Kakashi realized. Oh well. Far too late to plan now.

In his silence, Amari's hands gripped the edge of her bed tighter, her trembles increasing. "Please…say something. Anything… I can't bear the silence."

Kakashi shifted his weight to his left side and placed his right crutch under his left arm. With his right hand freed, he rested his hand on his student's shoulder.

"Amari." Her eye hesitantly lifted to meet his, a glassy shimmer even in the darkened room. "It's okay."

Two words, as simple as could be. Yet they were more than enough.

A single tear cascaded out of her eye, and as the tears fell, her walls crumbled. "I'm…so sorry, Kakashi-sensei," she wept in a whisper. More tears smashed through the dam meant to hold them back. Her body began to shake and quiver with silent, choked sobs.

Amari shut her eye and shook her head violently. "I- I didn't mean for any of this to happen!"

Kakashi couldn't say why, but he remembered Amari's sobs in the Land of Waves at that moment. How she screamed at Zabuza for everything he had done to Haku, and then begged the memory of her cousin—Shisui—to take away all this pain she was feeling.

His heart fell at the sight of his sobbing student. How much more pain will you have to endure? How long will it take for you to find your peace?

The striking similarities between their lives were almost frightening. They'd both had their precious people torn from them time and again, and now it was up to them to keep walking forward, to see a future for the ones who could not.

Again he saw the vivid image of an older Amari standing over the same memorial stone, head hung in guilt, grief and mourning for those already lost, and those she may still yet lose.

What could he do? What should he do? Not as a shinobi following the rules, but as a person who cared for this small child?

Kakashi didn't think—he acted, wrapping his arm around her back to gently pull her into a hug.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Amari. You saved us," he murmured soothingly.

"I- I almost lost myself."

"But with Shisui's help you didn't." He began rubbing his hand over her clothed back, hoping to ease her pain with the gesture as much as he could. "You used what power and leverage you had to protect all of us, just like Shisui asked you to. Don't be sorry. We're all alive because of your bravery. You did good. I'm proud of you."

Amari's sobs intensified. Slowly, hesitantly, her small arms wrapped around his body, returning the embrace. Kakashi didn't mind, nor did he plan to remove himself from this embrace. Even when his legs began to ache, he held his ground to provide whatever words or physical comfort he could for this gentle student of his whose world had been torn apart.

There was no way to shelter her from pain, the chance for that had long passed, but he could be here to support Amari through the struggles she faced. Motivate her to stand back up when she was knocked down.

This was what he could do now. What he was meant to do.

The sound of the door sliding open brought Kakashi to attention. Concerned and hopeful red eyes met his—Kurenai. A small scratch marked her left cheek, undoubtedly from the mission she was returning from, but otherwise she appeared as she always did. Moonlight glimmered off the metal plate of Amari's forehead protector, hung snugly around her mother's neck.

It didn't take her more than a second to register her daughter's current state.

"Little one," she whispered as her legs carried her briskly into the room.

"Looks like you're popular tonight, Amari," Kakashi jested. He received a choked laugh mixed with a sob for his effort.

Kurenai made it to his side in an instant, so he did his best to gently pry himself from Amari's grasp, hopeful it didn't appear as if he wanted to leave. He didn't. But he couldn't imagine the swell of emotion Kurenai was feeling right now; it'd be rude of him to intrude on the reunion between mother and daughter.

"Sorry about your shirt," Amari sniffled.

Kakashi chuckled and ruffled her hair gently. "It's just a shirt, Amari. Don't stay up too late. We only have tomorrow off before we're back into missions and training."

He moved his right crutch back under his right arm and made to leave. Kurenai stopped him by resting her hand on his shoulder, red, tearful eyes shimmering with gratitude. "Make sure you get some rest as well, Kakashi. Itachi did a number on you, too."

The thank you within her wise words went unspoken, but he heard it loud and clear.

"I will," he replied with a nod.

He crutched his way to the door while the mother and daughter embraced one another and whispered quiet apologies and words of comfort to each other. Kakashi didn't need to look back to know both had tears streaming down their cheeks.

Amari was finding her solid ground slowly but surely. It wouldn't fix everything, but it was a start in the right direction.

For Amari, that's usually all she needs. She would take her new scars and, in time, would grow stronger for them. That was absolute.

This wasn't just a turning point for Amari's future or start in the right direction of recovery; it was his restarting line on bettering himself as a sensei. His last start had been ended by Itachi, but he wasn't going to give up on his goal so easily.

One day, I know I won't be able to hold her hand, but it won't be due to my absence.

I won't be able to hold her hand because Amari will surpass me.