SHTORY 1:

Chapter One: Onegaishimasu-please

Our story begins with a rather risqué song by Gackt (the shmex XD), two young teens with wild and woolly personalities and a delightful anime by name, Naruto. Author: nosebleed be right back returns with tissues sticking out of nostrils 10:55 pm.

We do not own any of the music, bands/artists, characters or animes used in this fan fiction, nor do we have any affiliation with such parties. Us: damn Sooo if you go see Nikore Uichi for chapter two because we're in this together. Mwahahahaha coughs

Enough.

Ahem One fine day (original opening but hey ya gotta start somewhere) Naruto was strutting through the training area nearest Konoha, having just impressed team Konohamaru with yet another Harem no Jutsu to get them all out of trouble from Ebisu.

'Hehe, where shall I go now?' he thought to himself smugly, 'Maybe Sakura will be around and I can help her wash her hair…'

He broke off at the end of the thought with a sheepish blush that faded when an irritated grunting pulled his mind from the straight and narrow. As he veered off the path and pulled himself somewhat difficultly from the bushes, his eyes widened at the sight of Lee tied to a tree with naught but his forehead protector covering his hoohar (yaoi fan girls please clear your minds).

"Lee-san, where are your clothes?" the blonde breathed surprised.

Lee's face turned beet red as he averted his gaze to the nearest tuft of grass.

"Hey Ange, check it out, Lee wears tighty whities," Nikore said to her friend as she donned the green jumpsuit, "And this suit doesn't smell at all, what fabric softener do you use?"

The other girl had lighter brown hair and turned away from the river to look at her friend and sigh, "So that's how he keeps the package in check…. oh yeah, it looks good on you."

The two beamed at each other and then at Lee, "Thanks so much."

Lee beamed back forgetting his dilemma, "No problem."

And with that, the two left Naruto still staring open mouthed and with a raised eyebrow at Lee's lack of…body covering….

The blonde was snapped out of his daze by an awkward throat clearing from Lee guaranteed to rouse anyone from his or her thoughts.

"A little help?" Lee asked in a small voice when Naruto's focus returned to him.

After freeing Lee, Naruto decided to go and get his clothes back for him.

"Arigatou Naruto-kun," Lee said putting a bush around his hips, "I'll come and help you retrieve my favourite outfit from those fiends."

So the two set out heroically after the one's named Nikore and Ange. It wasn't all t hat hard, after all they had gone back into the forest and were constantly talking…loudly…

Two hours of laborious following later, Naruto found them looking around a suspicious looking rock formation.

"Do you see it?" Ange asked, her voice distant from behind the rock.

"Nah, I don't think it's here, sorry Ange," the darker haired girl replied apologetically flopping down in the shade as her friend clambered over the top of the rock and spotted the two pursuers.

"Oh look, we have visitors," Ange exclaimed breathlessly.

Nikore looked up instantly, "LEE!"

The teen flinched at the memories of the earlier time she'd said that and tackle glomped him, stealing his clothes.

"I want my clothes back," he said mustering all his courage and stepping forward with as brave a face he could muster.

"But I don't have your clothes," Nikore replied innocently, her eyes shining in the mid afternoon sun.

Lee sweat dropped, "Yes. You are, you're wearing them right now."

Nikore retained her innocent face as she stood, "No I'm not, I was born in these cloothes."

The teenage boy gave a sigh as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other impatiently sticking his butt and hand out at the same time in opposite directions waiting for her to hand over the jumpsuit of bright green.

Nikore finally sighed defeated, "Have it your way."

Slipping off the clothes, she held them out to him, just out of reach, "They were starting to chafe anyway."

Lee gave an offended gasp as he made to snatch them away, but as he moved, a blinding flash of light appeared between them, filtering out into a glowing image of sparkly stuff.

"Aah," Lee gasped, snapping his hand back.

"Ooooh," Nikore drooled.

"We found it!" Ange exclaimed happily.

"Nani?" Naruto asked puzzled as he scratched the back of his head.

Ange ran forward to meet the shining figure of Gackt hovering in mid air with a glomp. The image disappeared leaving Ange hugging a small rectangular metal container to her chest.

Lee's pants were still smouldering as he picked them up with a pout and pulled them on, cheerfully discarding the bush around his waist.

There was a small squeal and two figures darted to Ange's sides.

"Oh my gosh, she has the power of God in her hands," one drooled, "Can we see the Gackt again?"

The one asking the questions had a dark blue shirt on and long spiky mullet hair.

"Nup," Ange replied proudly slipping the small box into her side pocket.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked, tired of being constantly confused.

Nikore's eyes lit up, "OMG Sasuke!"

And as if on reflex, her hand made contact with the mullet haired Uchiha's left butt cheek and her fingers squeezed comfortably around the perfect fit.

Sasuke squealed and jumped around to face her.

"Hey, that's mine," he wined with teary eyes.

(Meanwhile the other figure had stolen Ange's pocket Gackt and was standing with shadows over his eyes in the background).

"Not anymore," Nikore growled, "Come here mullet boy!"

Sasuke yelped as she gave him a nipple cripple with her sharp fingernails before appearing behind him and wrapping her arms about his front, groping anywhere her fingers would enclose. The teen wiggled and squirmed as his hair returned to normal and his hand reached out desperately for help.

Naruto snapped into action, taking the hand and pulling his teammate free from the fiend's clutches.

The latter pouted as Naruto held the simpering boy to his breast.

"You never let me have any fun," she protested, folding her arms and looking away.

Her attention turned to the other shadier character still residing beside Ange. He was muttering a few things with a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"Do you like Gackt too?" Lee asked brightly, ready to make a new friend.

The guy shook his head as his eyes ran over the two girls.

"Then why are you here?" Ange asked ignoring Naruto fawning over Sasuke in the background.

The man smirked, lifting his head from the shadows, "My name's Deidara."

The blonde man was from the rock country and pulled out his own kunai, muttering a few more words as he took the Gackt thingy and poked it, making it shine momentarily.

"Give me your hands," he said politely.

Ange and Nikore exchanged looks and shrugged before doing as he said. Suddenly the two teens were transformed into well-endowed beautiful female Hidden Leaf shinobi.

"Here, have your stupid box back, you'll need it to change," he said, tossing it at Ange before running away laughing maniacally.

The box in question bounced off her head with a hollow ting noise before landing in her open palm. Meanwhile Ange and Nikore were looking at him cluelessly perplexed as to why he would run off in such an odd manner.

They looked around at the open eyes of everyone else there before looking again at each other.

"…. Like…Deidara just cursed us…" Nikore said, looking Ange up and down.

"Mmmhmmm?" Ange replied absently poking Nikore's tummy, "You're hot."

"And you have legs…" came the absent reply.

Then they looked at each other and beamed before starting to sing and dance to the Ninja Rap.

"Go ninja go ninja GO!" etc etc the song goes on until they're interrupted by Gai sensei showing up.

"Lee, you're late for training…" he started but his tone softened as his eyes fell upon the mysteriously beauteous and tall, Nikore, "Would your friends like to accompany us back to Konoha?"

OKAY, end chapter one, there you go, hope you liked it, please R&R give me some tips or ideas as to what random things should be put in chapter three.

Thanks for reading, Audios Amigos!

Luv Ange