Chapter 72
Recovery and Response: Farewell to the Land of Snow
A handful of days had passed since Dotō and his lieutenants were eliminated. In that time, Princess Koyuki had rallied her people under her banner and ordered the last of Dotō's forces to surrender themselves. Without their leader, and with their forces decimated in the assault on Kazahana Castle, the Snow shinobi wisely surrendered themselves to the rightful heir.
The battles were over. Peace had been won. And the Land of Snow was no longer submerged beneath layers upon layers of ice. Rolling green hills, snow-capped mountains and clear blue skies were the new norm; even the air was warmer, though long sleeves were still preferable to tank tops.
Kakashi-sensei was right. This Land is breathtaking.
Amari marveled at the picturesque environment, observing it from her seat on the opened window of her temporary quarters. Rich and warm colors, in nature, in the royal tapestries and flags hung to celebrate the return of Princess Koyuki; the people she could see below in the main town square seemed livelier, joyful, bright and teeming with life, just like the hills and mountains of this Land.
If she hadn't seen Sōsetsu's generator for herself, Amari wasn't sure she'd believe any of this was real. How could it be? The Land of Snow revealed itself to be a bitter, frozen Land. The few natives she saw at the port looked miserable in the cold, covered in enough layers to make a polar bear envious.
Personally, Amari spent so much time hugging heat lanterns she didn't bother to look up or around beyond her immediate surroundings, because there wasn't anything to look at. No endless blue sky. No sun. Hardly any trees. Sure there were mountains, but they were made of cold snow, not vanilla ice cream and sprinkles.
Now the Land of Snow stood as an awe-inspiring kingdom of color and warmth. And with a princess to boot. She felt like she'd walked out of reality into the pages of a fairy-tale. There was almost too much breathtaking beauty. It was almost too radiant to be real.
Yet it was. Real, tangible and one of the most beautiful places Amari had ever seen.
She wished Sandayū could have seen it.
The Nara breathed out a sigh and shut her eyes. This place, she could find peace here. It was so far away from the chaos of the shinobi world, now that Dotō was dead anyway. Maybe one day…
Of the members of Team Seven, Naruto and Sakura ended up in the worst shape. A little off-duty rest had been all she and Sasuke needed to recover. The cuts she received from Kōri were still a bit sore to touch, they stung when she cleaned them, but beyond that Amari physically felt fine. Sasuke, too, nursed heavy bruising at first, but he was quick to get back on his own feet.
Kakashi walked away from his battle with Nadare without a single injury.
Sakura and Naruto weren't so lucky. They spent the days since the battle stuck in one of the Snow's premium hospitals; Naruto almost looked like he was being mummified while he slept, but the passive regenerative ability he wielded as the jinchūriki of the Nine-Tails ensured his recovery to full health.
It was Sakura who truly bore the worst injury. The punch she unleashed on Mizore fractured several of the bones in her hand. Badly. And since the Snow lacked medical-ninjas, they couldn't use Medical Ninjutsu to speed along the recovery.
To their credit, the doctors did everything they could to help put her on the road of recovery, all free of charge.
Despite being in a cast and sling, Sakura was in high spirits. She wore her injury like a badge of honor, and her feat of shattering Mizore's armor impressed the entirety of Team Seven. She just had to learn how and when to use it properly. Breaking her hand every time would be a drag.
Amari was proud of her. Kakashi, too. She'd come so far since the Land of Waves, as a shinobi and in personal growth. But she needed to learn to control her new strength better before letting it loose in a battle.
I really need to talk to Mimi. She possesses more knowledge on Lady Tsunade than I do, and I have a favor to ask.
That was a thought for when they returned.
So far there had been no discussions around their first kills. Naruto and Sasuke seemed to already be moving forward without a single glance back, though that didn't surprise her. Those two always kept their eyes on the next mission and training. And Sasuke…he'd been subjected to death and tragic loss just like she had.
Sakura seemed unfazed by it. Maybe it was their psychological training. Or just recent events in general; the Invasion and the Akatsuki incident left their mark on everyone, after all.
Maybe, though, all of her teammates were privately thinking about it, just as she was. She hadn't asked and didn't want to pry if they were. This was something they all had to deal with in their own ways so they could move forward, if her teammates hadn't already.
Amari struggled to grasp what she felt. No nightmares haunted her; her dreams lingered in other painful places. And there had yet to be a moment where she second-guessed her decision.
What she felt about the final battle with Kōri…it was hard to explain. She didn't regret killing her. Kōri wouldn't have stopped hurting people. She would have continued to bring pain and suffering to everyone she encountered, all for the sake of her vision of a beautiful garden.
Yet…her heart felt strange. She knew it was necessary, knew it was the best option…but she also knew she was rationalizing it.
Opening her eyes and looking down at her hand, she thought of what the Mizukage wrote to Kakashi. About how her hands were stained by blood she could never wash off.
Did killing Kōri taint her hands, too? She couldn't see the blood, but it was there. And it made her wonder: If she had let Kōri linger a little longer, if Kōri had been able to see what the Land of Snow could become thanks to Sōsetsu's generator, would she have been able to change her ways?
Amari didn't know.
Her first kill was inevitable. Maybe not Kōri, but someone would've forced her hand eventually. Her parents, Shisui, Atsuko, Kakashi, her mother, her uncle, probably even her aunt Yoshino, too, they all killed enemy shinobi. Even Haku killed. This was the world they lived in, the cruel and merciless world of shinobi.
Yet…that didn't make taking a life right. The world they lived in was flawed.
"Is the world twisted? Or are we the ones who make it so twisted?" Amari muttered to herself, still examining her hand with a thoughtful frown. "Why was Kōri the way she was? Did she know suffering, too? Did this world steal away people she loved? Did she have anyone left? A lover? A friend? Did I even try to understand her, or was I too lost in my own guilt and anger to reach out to her?"
Did she end up just another pawn in the cycle of bloodshed?
"I don't know."
She'd have to try to heed Atsuko's advice and put it behind her. So far, no luck.
"Amaririsu."
"Hm?" Amari's attention was drawn away from the scenic mountain region, and her own hand, to her sudden guest, currently standing in the open doorway.
Princess Koyuki.
The once unsmiling, cold woman greeted her with a warm and wonderful smile. She dressed in a colorful regal kimono, made of the finest fabric, full of bright blues and lavish purples. She accessorized with jewelry befitting of a princess.
Stunning. Elegant. Regal. Koyuki was like a storybook princess any warrior dream of falling for.
…And she was staring. Captivated by the enchanting presence Koyuki now carried.
"Oh, Princess. I didn't sense you arrive."
Koyuki smiled and made a gesture to the room. "May I come in?"
"Uh, sure," she fumbled.
Koyuki strode in. Even her walk was elegant. The Princess stopped in the center of the room as Amari hopped down from the windowsill to meet her. Then they sort of stood there, looking at each other, looking around at the room, silent as a shinobi maneuvering through the shadows.
"Is there something wrong?" Amari tried to start conversation.
Small talk was never her greatest skill. But this…this was just weird. A tense, awkward air filled the small confines of her room to peak capacity. They hadn't really spoken since the fight against Dotō; Koyuki had important political business to handle…and the last conversations they had weren't what anyone would call friendly.
Most consisted of Amari yelling or seething at her.
"No, nothing is wrong. I only wanted to speak to you."
And again the silence filled the space. Amari shifted awkwardly on her feet. Heated words could never be taken back, and she wouldn't change what she said. At the time it was appropriate, and she wasn't sorry for yelling at Koyuki for disrespecting the dead.
Still, as a shinobi it was unprofessional to yell at a client. She'd been full of guilt and white-hot rage; Koyuki was just an easy target to lash out at. Sure, Koyuki made it easy, but that didn't make it right.
"I'm sorry," Amari said before she could think about it. "I said a lot of hurtful things to you, on top of slapping you. At the time I was consumed by guilt and anger." Her eye fell. "I wasn't able to save Sandayū or his men. I let my fight with Kōri draw me away from him—I let it become personal. And hearing them laugh at the massacre…I lost sight of myself. You became an easy target to vent my emotions out on, and I'm sorry."
There. Apology said. Maybe now the awkward air would clear.
Koyuki looked down at her, mouth hung slightly open. She lifted a hand up towards the Nara. Then she rushed forward and wrapped the Nara in a hug. Amari stiffened, a light blush beginning to tint her cheeks.
This…wasn't what she was expecting.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Amaririsu," Koyuki replied softly. "I'm the one who should apologize. You were right about me. I did act like a spoiled brat. All I ever did was run away from my problems. From my people. I was a coward who nearly let Dotō do what he wanted with my people and my Land, because I was afraid to fight. And Sandayū…" Koyuki's hold tightened around Amari. "Please, don't allow his spirit to be another burden you carry. Remember him with joy."
Koyuki released her embraced, rested her hands on Amari's biceps and looked her in the eye. Her sky blue orbs were far prettier with the life of her warm heart behind them.
"Forgive me. I know I made your jobs harder. I put your lives in greater danger because I wasn't as strong as you."
Amari lifted a hand up between them and poked the Princess in the nose—it was all she could reach. "I'll forgive you if you forgive me."
The look on Koyuki's face could have brightened a world of eternal darkness. "Deal." She wrapped her in a quick embrace then stood up to her full height. "I— Thank you, Amaririsu. For everything you've done. It's because of you and Naruto I was able to find the strength to stand."
"You don't need to thank me, Princess. The spirit was in you the whole time. We just helped nudge you in the right direction."
"I'm not so sure," Koyuki shook her head.
"I am."
"Huh?"
Amari half-turned to look out at the window, beyond the mountains as her heart and mind returned to Kazahana Castle. "I told you in the throne room that I've lost people precious to me. My parents, my big brother and my two closest friends have all been taken from me. But even though they perished, we are still bound together by our love and our bonds. Their dreams, hopes and love remain in my heart; they give me strength when I feel weak."
She turned to look Koyuki in her eyes. "The same can be said for you. You inherited your father's and Sandayū's Wills. We just helped illuminate the road to finding them and your true self. Once you did, from that point on, that was your strength. Your Will."
Amari shook her head. "Don't give us too much credit. You're the one who risked your life to save me when Dotō had me at his mercy."
Koyuki's smile made her feel butterflies in her stomach. "Thank you, Amaririsu. I wish you and your team could stay longer. I feel like there's so much I could still learn from all of you."
"I'd honestly love to stay just to explore this Land, but unless you take my hand in marriage I'll have to go home." Koyuki's eyebrows rose in surprise. Then the horror hit Amari. She felt her face flush burning red as she immediately slapped her hands over her mouth.
Not again! She shrieked in the confines of her own mind.
Stupid brain and mouth! This was just like that time with Haku. No! It was totally worse than that! Koyuki was a client. An adult! A Princess!
How embarrassing! Maybe she should just jump out the window and never return. It'd be preferable to this situation. A situation she caused. Oh, Kami. She was going to die of embarrassment. Right here. Felled by her own hand! What a travesty!
She could almost hear Shisui and her Mama dying of laughter in the afterlife.
Then Koyuki giggled, a light blush on her cheeks. "If that's all it takes, maybe I'll consider it."
Amari nearly fainted. "I'm sorry!" she apologized from behind her hands. Although it didn't really sound like the words. Just a muffled, high pitched wordless noise, really.
Koyuki laughed even harder, waving her hand dismissively in the air. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Amaririsu. I think we both know you're a little underage for me." The Princess smirked. "Although a politically arranged marriage might work, though I've heard you may have one already set up with the Mist."
Her head may have exploded. A Princess was teasing her about marriage! Their arranged marriage!
"What?! No!" Amari waved her hands wildly through the air. "I'm not getting married! I'm only thirteen! I mean, you're really pretty, but we hardly know each other! And I have no romantic experience! I wouldn't even know how to court you or how to be courted!"
Koyuki hid her grin and laugh behind her hand. Amari was too busy being mortified to see it.
"Besides, aren't arranged marriages for political gain? I'm sure the Leaf will want to be an ally regardless! I- I mean, I'm not saying that like you'd be a bad romantic partner or anything! But you're a Princess! I'm just a shinobi! A Genin, at that! I hardly have anything to offer!"
Oh, Kami. Her mouth wasn't stopping. Her brain had gone haywire and nothing was going through the appropriate filters anymore. What a drag!
"And…please don't tell anyone this happened. I'll never hear the end of it if you do."
"It'll be our secret," Koyuki winked.
Before Koyuki departed, she decided they'd take two pictures together, just as she had done for Naruto while he was unconscious. One picture would be for Amari to take home, while the other would be a keepsake for Koyuki.
She called a photographer in, who wore an amused smile—oh man, he heard that exchange!—then kneeled down next to Amari, resting a hand on her right shoulder. They both smiled for the camera and then, right as the photographer was about to take the picture, Amari felt the Princess's lips press against her cheek.
"Thank you," Koyuki whispered then pressed her lips to her cheek again for the second picture.
Pictures were capable of saying a thousand words without anyone having to say anything at all. These pictures were no different.
The first captured the moment before the kiss registered in the Nara's mind. Her lips were pulled in a normal smile with Koyuki's lips pressed against her cheek, almost as if being kissed by a Princess was an everyday occurrence for Amari. The second showed the reality. A blush coated her cheeks and her smile had become timid as her right eye shyly drifted down to the side, away from Koyuki and the camera.
In the end, she received two gifts from Koyuki. First was the autographed picture of her blushing as she was given a peck from the Princess. The second was receiving two kisses from a Princess—a bragging right Amari's shy disposition was denying her from bragging about.
It took her a long few hours after Koyuki left to stop blushing.
And smiling.
The festival for Koyuki's official inauguration was underway. Team Seven collectively decided against taking part in the actual festivities and ceremony, for good reason—their ship was setting sail today for the Land of Fire. Their gear was packed and the movie crew was prepared for the journey; apparently they filmed an entire movie worth of film.
Home called to Team Seven. Their home was still on the mend from the Invasion, and this mission's paycheck, along with their physical labor, would help alleviate some of the stress. Not a lot, but still enough.
On top of all of that, a week boat trip awaited them, plus the walk back to Konoha from there. A long journey all around.
And then who knows what will be waiting for us when we get back. For all we know Lady Hokage may send us on another mission immediately.
Their work here in the Land of Snow was done, but their work as shinobi was far from over.
Still, Team Seven had no intention of simply disappearing without saying goodbye to Koyuki. They had prepared their things then headed to the ceremony to bid farewell to the Princess.
They stood together off to the side of the festivities, with Sakura on the far end of their line, her arm still in the cast and sling, now decorated by the autographs of the entire cast of the Princess Gale movie. Amari stood beside her, followed by Naruto, Sasuke then Kakashi standing behind his group of Genin.
Koyuki had spotted them almost immediately. After talking with a few others in her attempt to reach them, she finally made it through the crowd over to the squad of shinobi. Again she was the definition of beautiful princess, dressed in some of the finest garments and jewelry Amari had ever seen.
"Heading home?" she asked on approach, smile as warm and beautiful as her kingdom.
"Yeah. Dotō's thugs either died in the assault of Kazahana Castle or surrendered to those loyal to you and your father. As nice as it would be to take time to recover here and explore, our Village needs us," Kakashi answered.
Amari glanced away in slight embarrassment at the reminder of the destruction of Kazahana Castle. A destruction she inadvertently caused. I'm going to have to learn how to measure the explosive power of my paper bombs better.
"I understand. I had some researchers look into the generator my father built. They tell me it wasn't even fully developed yet."
"Guess it'll be back to winter soon," Sakura said.
"Not really. If we continue the research my father started, the Land of Snow will one day become the Land of Spring," Koyuki informed, enthused by the prospect.
"I hope we'll be able to see that. This place is beautiful without all that snow covering everything," Amari commented.
Koyuki smiled down at her. "You all are always welcome to come back and visit whenever you have time off."
In another life, if she were older…marriage would have been lovely.
"The Land of Snow will never forget what you have done for us."
"Yeah but, it's kind of a shame. You're such a big star. Are you really going to retire from acting?" Sakura asked curiously.
"Who said I have to retire?" Koyuki laughed. "Ruling the Land of Snow and acting? I think I can handle it." She revealed to them a booklet, probably a screenplay. Though, the more Amari looked at it, the title and cover art seemed so familiar…
Is that…a Make-Out Series movie? A familiar orange book appeared in her mind and realization settled in. She's…going to act in a film adaption of the Make-Out series?
Amari had never read a single page of the book or heard anything particular about it. What she did know, however, was her sensei giggled and blushed while reading it sometimes. She also knew the author, and what he liked to call his "research" as well as the source of his giggling.
These facts, combined with being an avid reader of purely fluffy romantic novels, allowed the Nara in Amari—as well as the teenage girl in her—put together a decent idea of what exactly lingered between the covers.
Needless to say, she blushed. Feverishly. I'm going to strangle Master Jiraiya when I see him again! The legion of perverted men who would pre-order tickets to such a movie, it'd be ridiculous. And they'd ogle the Princess as she acted out their greatest fantasies.
The nerve!
"I'd have to be out of my mind to give it up," Koyuki said, her smile still in place.
"That script!" Kakashi gasped in quiet awe. Amari glanced back at her sensei. His bulged eye illustrated every emotion he felt.
Amari merely shook her head and turned back around. I usually try to give him credit for not being as openly perverted as Master Jiraiya, but this is just sad.
"Well, be seeing you." Koyuki smiled and waved to the group of young shinobi before departing back to the festivities.
The four Genin waved, smiled or nodded in farewell. They briefly watched as a crowd of children surrounded her and asked for autographs, to which Koyuki smiled fondly at them all and began signing without question.
Farewell, Princess Koyuki. Hopefully our paths will cross again without any sort of danger or freezing temperatures.
"That script! That script! She's perfect!" Kakashi's normally cool voice peaked a couple octaves higher, his hand outstretched as if he wanted to stop Koyuki from leaving.
"Awww!" Naruto suddenly shouted and brought his hands to the sides of his head. "I feel so stupid. I should have gotten an autograph!"
"Don't worry. Amari and I took care of it." Sasuke replied coolly and pulled out the envelope containing the photograph and autograph from Koyuki.
Naruto took the envelope from his teammate and opened it. Sakura peered over his shoulder to see the contents within. In the meantime, Amari set her onyx eye on her sensei, who was still staring off into the distance.
Did he have a brain hemorrhage or what?
"Ah man, look at me!" Naruto wailed at the sight of himself unconscious in the bed, bandages covering his head and chest while Koyuki placed a kiss on his cheek. "Couldn't you have gotten a better picture or something?"
"Sensei, we need to go." Amari waved her hand in front of the man's eye but received no response. "Seriously, why are men from our Village so strange about women? Iruka-sensei, Ebisu the closeted pervert, Master Jiraiya, even Asuma-sensei. But his isn't perversion. He just attempts to act like I don't know him and mom are together. I don't get it."
Amari shook her head again and glanced to her two boy teammates. "Don't either of you ever read the Make-Out series or turn into perverts or I'll make you regret it."
Onyx shifted red as it locked back onto Kakashi. Sharingan! The man crumpled immediately. Amari caught him and slung him over her shoulder. Such a drag.
Sharingan fading, she turned to her teammates. "Let's get going. The boat is waiting for us."
Bewildered looks crossed all three of her teammates faces, with the boys of the group showing varying levels of fear.
"What?" she asked, innocently.
"Did you…just knock out Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura found her words first.
"Yep. Had he been actually paying attention to his surroundings, he wouldn't have let himself fall into my Sharingan Genjutsu. Unfortunately for him he decided to read perverted novels and get distracted by a pretty woman, and unfortunately for me I underestimated how heavy Kakashi-sensei really is."
Amari shifted him on her shoulder in an attempt to get comfortable, but his dead weight ended any notion of that happening.
She released a sigh and lifted her chin in the direction of the boat then started walking towards it alone. "Come on. He's not getting any lighter."
"Sasuke…if we…" Naruto's gulp was audible even at a distance.
"We're dead," Sasuke finished his teammate's sentence in a whisper.
"Less whispering about your fates if you become perverts and more walking, boys. I don't want to expend more chakra strapping you two under genjutsu and having my clones carry you."
Their quickening pace made the Nara smirk. Death was a little bit of an exaggeration, but at least her teammates were keenly aware of the fate awaiting them if they became anything remotely like Master Jiraiya.
I hope they never forget, because I know I won't.
Her teammates would never know it for sure, but the boys could almost feel her giggling madly within her own thoughts.
Dead bodies surrounded Amari. Some face down in the thick layer of snow. Others stared at her with unblinking eyes, blood staining the innocent and untainted snow beneath them. It was her fault. She'd been too slow. She tried to run to them, tried to stop it all from happening, but the snow was too thick. Her legs too heavy.
Despite knowing in her heart they were all dead, she trudged from body to body, checking them for any sign of life. Turning their bodies over in the snow and bearing witness to those unblinking eyes silently blaming her for all this.
Her fault. Her fault. Her fault. She failed to protect them. She failed them.
"I'm sorry." Oh yes, because an apology would fix them. Sorry would be able to put all the blood back in their bodies and mend the wounds. No. They were empty words born of selfishness. She just wanted to be forgiven and absolved of her sins, but no apology would ever wash this away.
"Hahahaha! Not so fast now, are you, little flower!"
Amari reacted before she even realized what she was doing. Spinning around faster than she'd been able to run previously, her flaming tantō in hand, she screamed in wordless rage, slashing the blade across Kōri's throat.
The green-haired kunoichi's body toppled over into the snow. Blood splattered onto Amari's face and over the pure white snow, coating the length of her blade in crimson. She breathed heavily as she stared at the unblinking corpse of Kōri.
Then the corpse's lips pulled into a fiendish grin. The dead eyes locked onto Amari; the dead kunoichi began to laugh. Maliciously. Madly. Amari gasped and stumbled back. Her tantō slipped out of her hand as she fell into the snow.
Kōri's corpse kept laughing. And laughing. Eyes never leaving Amari. Taunting her.
Suddenly, the flesh of her left arm began to burn. Amari cried out in agony, hunching forwards as the scars on her left arm tore themselves open. Ripping, shredding. In a matter of seconds her arm was slicked with blood, and her screams were steadily becoming sobs.
Searing, white-hot pain stole the vision from her left eye, the old scar left by Kasai opening itself, too, pouring more blood over her face.
Kōri kept laughing.
It hurt. Everything hurt. Warm blood poured down her face and dripped off her fingertips. Why was this happening? Why wouldn't this pain stop?
"Gah! Argh! Ahhhhhhh!" Amari's entire body trembled. Teeth grit, tears flowing down her cheeks, all she could taste was blood. And Kōri refused to stop laughing at her. Still gazing at her with those unblinking, blame filled eyes.
Amari tried to stand. Cold hands latched onto her legs, arms, torso—the cold dead hands of the samurai.
They tugged her further and further into the snow. Her wails of pain and terror echoed over the mountain, her struggles to break free weak and ineffective. They were pulling her beneath the snow. Drowning her in their blood and her own.
Kōri's face appeared right in front of her, grinning madly. Blood poured from the ugly gash in her neck, her dead eyes stared into her soul.
"It's time for you to wilt away, little flower."
Amari could only scream.
Sakura tossed and turned on her cot throughout the night. The sling and cast alone made it hard to find a comfortable place to lie; she usually slept on her right side, but her broken hand rendered that impossible. Any little nudge to her elbow awoke her pain receptors from their slumber.
They also awoke her. After a few more attempts to lie still, Sakura gave up with a frustrated huff. This was useless. She wasn't going to get any sleep at all lying down. Maybe instead if she sat up…
Sitting up, Sakura turned and grabbed her pillow, standing it straight up to brace her back against the wall. As silently as she could manage, in hopes to not stir Sasuke below her or the rest of her team, she scooted back into it, sighing as she rested her head back. Not the comfiest position to sleep in, but if it allowed even a few hours of sleep, Sakura would consider it a win.
As she sat there in the dark, alone but surrounded by her team, Sakura came to an annoying conclusion: She was wide awake. Almost caffeine levels of awake. This must be her body's way of incentivizing her not to break her hand ever again. Or punishing her for breaking it in the first place.
Sakura exhaled a quietly exasperated breath and rose her eyes to the dark, void-like ceiling. They were only a day away from the Land of Snow; with the walk home still to come, it'd be at least a week before she stepped foot in the Konoha hospital.
To borrow yours and Shikamaru's saying, Amari, this is such a pain.
Admittedly, this whole experience was so strange, being the one with the biggest injury. Usually, much to Amari's chagrin each time, Amari ended up renting a room at the hospital after a mission thanks to some terrible injury. Naruto's natural, or unnatural, healing abilities took care of the knucklehead more often than not. And Sasuke, his worst experiences so far were the suspended state Haku placed him in the Land of Waves and Orochimaru's Curse Mark.
Not her, though. She made it unscathed through every mission, as she lingered in the background. Useless. This mission changed that.
I finally did it. Sakura glanced down at her injury. I was able to step out of the background and stand with my team.
With Amari's paper bombs, she damaged Mizore's Chakra Armor to no longer negate her chakra. Then, while he was dazed, she unleashed the attack that broke her hand and led to the chain reaction that killed him and Fubuki.
Sakura tried to ignore the strange feeling in her stomach when she thought of her first kill. It… They heartlessly massacred their client and his comrades. They laughed at people dying, like they weren't even human. There was nothing to redeem in them, not like Zabuza, Haku or Gaara.
But those were just rationalizations. And…maybe she was okay with that.
Regardless, Sakura steered her mind away from it, it's because of Amari I've come so far. When I needed support, she was the first to step forward, despite how I treated her in the Academy. I owe her—
Unconsciously, her head had begun turning to look through the dark shadows at Amari's bunk, but what she saw abruptly ended her thoughts. Her breath left her.
Amari…
She could just make out the silhouette of her fellow kunoichi, hunched forward, gripping her left arm tightly in her hand. Sakura hadn't noticed before, too absorbed in her thoughts as she listened to the waves beneath the ship, but her ears caught quiet whimpers.
Her left arm… Sakura's emerald eyes widened in realization. The Lightning Blade! It felt like so long since that day, but…it wasn't that way for Amari, was it? They all walked away relatively unscathed, but not Amari. She gained scars that permanently altered her, in appearance and psychologically.
Sakura squeezed her eyes shut. Kakashi and Kurenai probably knew about this already; they were both experienced shinobi, knowing full well the price Amari would pay for her sacrifice. But getting it past the rest of them, that was easy. Like complete idiots, they never suspected any psychological scars were left from the incident.
Amari never showed it, her brain tried to rationalize. But Sakura winced. What a stupid thing to think. Of course Amari didn't show it! This was Amari. She mastered wearing a brave face long before they were teammates.
How could she be so naïve? Had none of them ever even bothered to ask? No, of course they hadn't. She'd be so focused back then on her own shortcomings and feelings of inadequacy to see through Amari's walls. And Naruto and Sasuke were tense with each other, wounded egos and pride, before the second phase of the Exam.
After that the fears revolved around Orochimaru and the damage he had done to their team. Amari's nearly lifeless state of exhaustion. The nefarious fūinjutsu Orochimaru placed on Sasuke and Naruto. The threat of other Exam participants.
Then the Invasion happened. Sakura winced again. Amari and Mimi, they were on the front-lines. She'd seen the wear and tear in their eyes when their final clones popped; Sakura remembered it clearly, how defeated and emotionally drained they looked, but they all felt it in some way, so she didn't probe any further.
And with the Akatsuki incident, Naruto was gone with Master Jiraiya and Sasuke for a time sank into his own place of darkness. At the coaxing of Shikamaru, she focused on training, dragging Ino into it with her so they could keep moving forward, like Amari would have wanted her to.
Ever since Amari recovered, everything was almost normal. Or…maybe she'd just been trying to pretend—hoping, dreaming—things could go back to the way they were before the recent chain of events. Because it was so much easier to pretend everything was fine instead of acknowledging they almost lost Amari.
You always try to carry the burdens on your own, Sakura thought. It's just your way. But we're a team, Amari. You helped guide me towards becoming someone I could be proud of. Someone who could actually look herself in the mirror. You've been supporting me and this team since Team Seven was formed. This time…
Sakura slid her legs out from beneath her blanket to hang over the edge. She lowered herself silently to the floor and grabbed her pillow before setting off towards Amari.
This time I'll support you. Even if it's only a little.
The wood of the ship was cold beneath her bare feet. It prickled her soles a little, at least for the first few steps. Before she knew it, she was at Amari's bunk, settling her pillow against the wall next to Amari, who appeared to be in too much pain to even sense her presence.
Getting down from her bunk was easy. Getting up into Amari's was a challenge with one arm.
After a light hop off of Naruto's cot, she managed to settle onto the small cot. It was a tight fit, even with Amari's smaller frame, but Sakura wouldn't complain. It'd be like a cramped slumber party. As long as she… Sakura flinched and grit her teeth as she adjusted the sling so her forearm rested over her stomach.
Okay. Now to support Amari. Being this close, she could hear the whimpers and heavy breaths even clearer than before. She could feel the cot shuddering with her trembling body. It made her chest feel tight. Made her feel guilty and stupid for never even…
No. She was doing it again. She couldn't be selfish. This wasn't about her or what she was feeling; this was about Amari, who desperately needed someone to support her.
Reaching over, she gently detached Amari's right hand from her arm and took her trembling left hand warmly into her own. She's sweating, Sakura analyzed clinically and worriedly. The entire length of her left arm was damp. Not soaked or dripping, but just damp enough to reveal the power nightmares possessed.
The ship interior was still cold. And heat irradiated off Amari's body like a heat lantern.
Amari's lavender and onyx eye looked at her from behind curtains of frazzled, damp blue hair. They glistened in the shadows but no tears fell. She almost didn't even seem to see Sakura, lost wherever her mind had taken her to, far away from this ship.
Sakura wanted to offer words of some kind. Something that may soothe her friend's wounds, but she wasn't sure any words could help. Words wouldn't take away the pain. It wouldn't heal the scars or mend the fractured pieces of her heart and soul.
Speaking also risked waking up someone else, and she didn't want to put Amari in that uncomfortable position; in her place, it'd be mortifying to have everyone wake up when she was so vulnerable and so lost in past pain.
So, Sakura chose silent gestures over words. Actions were meant to speak louder, right? She offered a warm smile she hoped Amari could see and placed Amari's hand on her thigh, resting hers on top as she rubbed her thumb gently over the back of it.
She leaned closer and tilted her head to rest on Amari's shoulder. I'm here was the message she conveyed. They were here. Safe and sound. Attached by this little physical anchor of held hands. Attached by their bond.
Amari's hand tightened around her thigh at odd intervals. No real pattern, but always in pain. Always with choked down whimpers. Sakura kept her thumb rubbing the back of her hand. Kept her breathing soft, even and calm to entice the same from her friend. She used her sense of touch and hearing as a means to monitor her condition.
When she first took Amari's hand into her own, the entirety of her arm was tenser than the air when Zabuza exuded his killing intent. The muscles stiff and contracted, to the point of trembling. Her breathing sharp, uneven and heavy. Skin slick with terrified sweat.
But, as the minutes ticked by, Amari's breathing began to fall in synch with hers. The vice grip on her thigh no longer happened as frequently. Her tense arm no longer trembled or felt like a solid slab of concrete.
Sakura relinquished her hold on Amari's hand and glided the tips of her fingers slowly up and down her bare forearm. Drawing circles and indistinguishable shapes, following along the lines of muscles and scars, down back to her fingers, drawing over the knuckles and nails with a feather touch. Then tracing up her arm again.
Her skin was soft. The texture of her scars were unnaturally smooth. There were more than Sakura realized. More than they ever really saw on a day to day basis, since Amari kept them hidden beneath her mesh long sleeve.
The soft touches coaxed Amari to lean back and settle next to her, shoulder to shoulder, hand still on her thigh as Sakura's fingers descended down the length of her forearm.
Amari's hand captured hers in a weak hold. Emerald eyes met onyx and lavender; the gentle squeeze on her hand expressed her gratitude while her vulnerable eyes entranced Sakura.
How long did they sit there, silent as stone statues, hands held and eyes locked? Seconds? Minutes?
It felt longer. They felt closer than they ever had been before. Physically, obviously; she could feel their shoulders touching at every given moment. But emotionally, too. And…it felt…
Sakura smiled in the darkness. Amari mirrored it, shyer. She could see the dimples on Amari's cheeks. The lingering vulnerability and returning strength—the same strength she was inspired by. She could feel the light brush of air on her skin every time Amari exhaled.
It felt…
A buzz saw snore roared below them. Naruto. Somehow, even when asleep, he found a way to break the pair into smiles and stifled giggles.
But their hands never left the embrace, and Sakura felt herself shift centered, out of Amari's personal bubble she unconsciously invaded.
For a moment she considered returning to her bed, but then Amari's head rested on her shoulder. She nuzzled into Sakura and entwined their fingers.
And her decision was made. Instantly. Without a single doubt.
Sakura rested her cheek against Amari's soft blue hair and shut her eyes. Amari drifted into sleep sometime later.
It was one of the best nights of sleep Sakura had the whole trip.
Haku,
It's wonderful to hear from you again. I had hoped you two could return to the Mist, but I can't say I expected all of this. I read your letter ten times just to wrap my head around it.
Thank you for your well-wishes. I've made a full recovery and have returned back into the field, thankfully. The hospital is a real drag. My cousin Shika teased me about my consistent returns; he said he's beginning to suspect I secretly enjoy my stays there. Like I have a crush on nurse or doctor. Troublesome boy.
Anyway, there hasn't been any lasting damage from the jutsu I was hit by. They were able to heal my physical and psychological damage, but…well, broken hearts aren't in the realm of Medical Ninjutsu to fix. I suppose time is what will make it ache less, or so they say. I don't know if time can really heal wounds like this, but it's still fresh. We'll see.
Amari rested her left arm behind her head as she shifted on her cot, eyes trailing over her letter.
You don't need to apologize for rambling, Haku. I'd rather you ramble than hold me at arms distance. To be honest, I'm not sure what future is waiting for us. Lately I've thought about it a lot. Because you're right, the history of shinobi is a sea of carnage and death, created by the individualistic desires of each Nation to build and sustain their power.
But we aren't bound to this cycle, Haku. We don't have to be callous, unnamed tools to destiny. You are Haku, a descendant of the Yuki Clan, a boy with a wonderful heart who cares about the future of this world and his precious people. And you're my precious friend.
See? You're already more than a tool.
And don't worry about opening this line of communication between Kakashi-sensei and Lady Mei. I know it isn't and has never been your intention to use me to achieve goals for Kiri. I was happy to read about it. Shocked, certainly. But also happy. In your position, I'd have done the same thing so we wouldn't be enemies ever again.
But please, never say you'd take your own life again. No matter what happens between our Villages, don't think that way. Your life isn't disposable. If you died…my heart is aching just trying to write these words. You are my friend, Haku. You're precious to me. I don't want to lose you, so please, don't say something like that again.
From what you've said, Lady Mei sounds like a remarkable woman. The fact she's suffered in the past yet still seeks peace without bloodshed makes her a rare breed in our world of shinobi.
Lady Mei was a shinobi who survived the Blood Mist Exam, by her own admission. Zabuza had told them plainly what the final exam was: to kill the people you called friend and shared your dreams with.
Yet the Fifth Mizukage sought to change their ways.
The quest she is taking on is honorable, the letter continued. I'll do my best to help however I can, but I know it'll be complicated no matter what, so wish her luck for me. And good luck to you and anyone else helping her change the ways of Mist Village.
I am flattered by what you see in my eye. If you intended to get me to blush, you were successful, troublesome boy. Don't tell Zabuza. That old man will never let me live it down, and probably won't let you live it down either. If he does find out and teases you, punch him really hard and let him know it was from me.
I trust you.
She appreciated his reassurances of his pure intentions, but they were also unnecessary. She knew the kind of person Haku was. He wouldn't twist a tale to stab someone in the back. His heart was too pure.
I'm not sure I have many questions on this attempt to move towards peace. You and Atsuko managed to explain everything so I could understand. But how are you handling the return to Kiri? From our conversations back in the Land of Waves, and what you said in your letter, I know the Land of Water holds few fond memories for you. So how are you handling everything?
I assume the Mizukage treats you well. What about Zabuza? How is he adjusting to the Mizukage and the situation? I mean, everyone seems to have had a grudge against the last Mizukage, but what about this new Mizukage?
You said he has joined her quest, and Atsuko told me he's back in charge of your Anbu with you as second-in-command, so does he respect her or fear her enough to fall in line? She sounds really nice, but her assassination of the last Mizukage makes her someone I wouldn't want to be the enemy of.
By the way, Atsuko has nothing but praises for you. Kaito is…pretty mad at me, to put it mildly. Atsuko took him to the home of the Crows to train under their tutelage, or tyranny in his eyes I'm sure. I kind of feel bad for him.
I hope Atsuko didn't quiz you too hard on anything, and I only say that based on the mischievous glint she had in her eyes when she dodged a few questions of mine. She isn't usually troublesome so I'm not really sure what she is up to.
But it definitely revolved around the bond between them. Amari couldn't help but feel nervous.
Anyways, as I said at the beginning of this letter I did make a full recovery from the genjutsu attack. Overall, I am back to normal. Perfect health. But…the amnesia forced upon me by a genjutsu was used to unleash the memories of my cousin…
It's…it's killing me inside. Without my memories I had no connection to my past, no bonds tying me to the family I once had. The only pain I felt was wondering why I was left at an orphanage…but now… My heart hurts, Haku. Every day.
I nearly lost myself to all the pain and hatred, and when I was nearing the brink I couldn't tell the difference between allies or enemies and…and then this amazing fūinjutsu activated. My Mama created a Seal that placed us in a different space-time and sealed his chakra into it. I was able to hold him in my arms again, to hear his voice, see him smile and tease me about anything and everything he could.
He answered questions I had and warned me of threats on the horizon. And then…and then the fūinjutsu ended. I watched him fade away.
Amari had to look away from the letter and take a breath as the scenes played out in her mind. It took a few moments, but she finally continued to read.
I still feel it now. Every day after has been an uphill battle on tired legs. I want to see him again, to have him back alive instead of only having these memories. I won't ever stop wanting to have him back in my life. He was my big brother and meant everything to me…
But I have to push forward for him because that's what he would want. I don't…I don't want to throw all of these feelings I have on you. Besides, if I was to tell you about him I would need several sheets of paper to express how amazing he was.
Even in his final moments, he did his best to impart his wisdom, his care, and a new power to his two best friends in hopes they would keep his little cousin, their Clan and the Village safe. He did everything he could to bolster her spirit as they spent their last moments together.
There were too few people in the shinobi world like him. Amari hoped she could one day count herself among them.
As Amari began to read again, she had to shut her eyes for a moment. Kami, she hated writing this part.
You and the Mizukage need to know there is a group called the Akatsuki. They cannot be trusted for anything. They wear black cloaks with red clouds on them and fill their ranks with S-rank rogue shinobi; Atsuko said they total at nine or more members.
The three I met are Kisame Hoshigaki, he's a former Mist Swordsman and his chakra is off the charts. There's also Itachi Uchiha and Aimi Uchiha. They are extremely dangerous and won't hesitate to eliminate anyone who gets in their way. I know it's difficult, but if you ever encounter Itachi and Aimi, don't meet their eyes.
It felt like a betrayal. She wanted to save them and clear their names. But…she had to prepare her allies, right? This was all she could do right now.
Outside of that, the rest of Team Seven is doing well. Or, mostly well. The Invasion and Akatsuki incident have taken an obvious toll on us. Between the fights and the clean-up efforts we've all seen a fair share of violence and death we hadn't experienced.
Lord Third's death was also hard to swallow. Still is. We're all just trying to do our best to take everything we experienced and turn it into a way to grow and advance ourselves so we can do better.
Our latest A-rank mission actually took us to the Land of Snow. We had to escort the heir to the throne back to the land and take out the bastard that killed her father. Granted, we did not actually know that particular detail until we got there, but we hung on anyways like we did in the Land of Waves.
The mission overall was a success, but…one of our clients died alongside fifty other samurai. Sandayū, the one who hired us, ran off to rally his men while I battled with one of the Snow shinobi named Kōri Yukihana. A train arrived and had these machines of war that fired kunai in insane numbers at impossible speeds. The samurai were all killed in an instant.
It hit me pretty hard. I was supposed to protect him and I failed…but I'm trying not to let it consume me. Kakashi-sensei and Atsuko told me he would have made the choice regardless and the moment he ignored my order was when his fate was in his own hands.
I understand what they mean, but I still wish I could have saved him. He was a nice person and had a burning love for his home and wanted so badly to witness the Princess return to her throne.
All four of us ended up killing at least one of the top lieutenants. The one I killed was Kōri…and I don't really know how to explain how I feel about taking a life for the first time. She laughed at the massacre of the samurai and found enjoyment in the pain of others…yet I feel no satisfaction in her death. I don't feel nauseous when I think about what I did or an overwhelming feeling of regret. I just…I don't know.
Maybe it's all of our training or recent events that makes this easier to deal with. I wish I could explain it better. Perhaps I'll have a better handle on it when I hear from you next.
Sorry if I threw a lot of my personal problems on you. Please be as careful as you can.
I can't promise trouble won't find me, but I'll do my best not to be troublesome just because you asked.
Amari
Satisfied with her work, Amari sat up to place it in her pack before lying back down again. There were still a few days left until they reached land. So far the journey was completely uneventful; no storms, no drunken sailors, no random ninjas passing by on a ship, and no complaints from any of Team Seven about the lack of happening.
Best to use this as a small vacation to recharge their batteries and let their bodies heal from the latest mission.
Currently the rest of her team was fast asleep in their cots. Amari wanted to join them, but she also needed to write her response to Haku while she had a chance.
With the Village in a state of recovery, she had no doubt they would find either hordes of D-rank missions or another A- or B-rank mission awaiting them on return. More work meant less down time, and these latest letters weren't ones to sit on for a month without replying.
Her response had taken a few hours to write and then read through, but now it was done. Now she could shut her eyes in hope of finding a good night of rest tonight. Unlike the night before.
But if they did, she knew she wouldn't be alone.
And perhaps sharing the cramped space of her cot with Sakura again wouldn't be so bad.