Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia(for the last time, people!), neither do I own the song "Eskimo" by Corky and the Juice Pigs. Oh, and I don't own stuff like tha macarena or the bunny hop!
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The Miserable: Symphonia
Chapter Seven:
Not Rehearsal, Part 3
Mizuho Village, Fooji, Tethe'alla, 3:45 P.M.
"Heeelloooo, Mizuho!" Sheena shouted, jumping onto a randomly appearing platform and screeching into a microphone, "Tell me who you love!"
"OURSELVES!" the villagers shouted back.
"Oh...Anyways, thanks for coming to..OUR DANCE PARTY! You guys are awesome dancers. I was so amazed. Well, ayways, to rest those tired legs of yours, we have a special musical number, by...Our very own Lloyd's daddy, KRATOS! Come on! Give him a warm welcome!"
The crowd was silent, until someone asked, "Is he gay?"
"TA-DA!" Kratos shouted, jumping down from the spikey wall behind them, and crashed down on top of Yuan's date.
"NOOO! RANDOM ANGEL #3!" Yuan cried, and fell to his knees, "Kratos! how could you!"
"I'm...random angel...#1.." the angel said weakly, before dying an overly dramatic death.
"Oh yeah...NOOOOOOOOOOO!' Yuan cried, and wept over the loss of his date/enemy.
"Uh...anyways, Here's Kratos!" Sheena shouted, and leapt into the side of a building.
"Ahem," Kratos coughed, getting on the stage and coughing into the mic, "Hello, Cleavland!"
"...Cleaveland?" everyone echoed.
"Oh, never mind," Kratos sighed, "Now...this song..is very dear to my heart. I practiced months for this day. This song..is dedicated to my buddy, Yuan. Yue-Yue, this one's for you.." Yuan 's eyes teared up, and he slowly nodded.
"Ahem.." Kratos coughed again, clearing up his throat, and started to sing:
"I...I'm the only gay eskimo.
I'm the only one I know
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe...
I go out seal hunting with my best friend Tarka
But all I want to do is get into his parka
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe
Well, me and Muk-fluk-chuk-buk
We like like blubber
but me, I've got this crazy fetish for rubber
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe
I make a wish on the Northern Lights
That I can find a decent pair of whaleskin tights
I'm the only gay eskimo
in my tribe
These cold winter nightsAre taking their toll
I even get excited when I see the the North Pole
See the North Pole...
I'm the only gay eskimoOnly gay eskimo
I'm the only one I know
The only one I know-oh-oh-oh
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe..."
There was a long, eeiry silence, expect for the small, soft sobbing coming from Yuan.
"Well.." Sheena said at last, "That was...wonderful. ANYWAYS, now we'll hear from someone who doesn;t suck-I MEAN..uh..someone who can actually sing..Yeah..that's it!"
"NO! MY SINGING CAREER! GONE BEFORE MY VERY EYES!" Kratos screamed in agony, and flung himself into the river.
"NO! KRATOS!" Yuan shrieked, and rushed to the water's edge, looking frantically for his drowning love.
"Uh...Yuan?" Lloyd said, coming up behind him, "The water's only a foot deep..he's right there.."
Kratos waved, and Yuan tackled him. "You...you jerk!"
"Anyways..I'm not too fond of gay people..today," Lloyd said sneakily, "LET'S DO THE CHICKEN DANCE EVERYBODY!"
"CHICKEN DANCE!" everyone else shouted, and they proceeded to do so.
"Kratos..?" Yuan whispered softly, wiping his face with the romantic skirt he was wearing.
"Yuan..you're wearing a skirt.." Kratos said slowly.
"Shh..don't worry about things like that," Yuan said softly, placing a finger to Kratos' lips.
"No..seriously," Kratos blinked, "I ate some straight pills today, so I'm not interested.."
"NOOOO! YOU CRUSHED MY DREAMS!" Yuan sobbed, before storming up to the unconscious angel he had brought, "Well, me and..uh..shnookums here have to get to our date anyway. SO THERE!" Yuan stuck his nose in the air, and flew off.
"Okay...he's gone.." Kratos whispered, and walked out of the shadows was...
---TO BE CONTINUED------
Santa's Workshop, North Pole, 10:00 P.M.
"HO, HO, HO!" Santa boomed, jiggling with all of his jolly blubber, "Let's keep working! Christmas is only so far away, you know!"
The elves rolled their eyes, and continued making toys.
"This is it," Zelos muttered, glaring at Santa from behind a brightly colored box, "There's no escape this time, jolly man!"
"Uh...what about me, Zelos?" Raine blinked, waving a hand so acknowledge that she was there.
"Uh..you can be an extra in the movie," Zelos shrugged.
"Movie?" Raine asked.
"Yes..I WILL SHOW THE WORLD HOW EVIL SANTA IS!" Zelos bellowed, then covered his mouth.
"SHUT UP, HONEY!" Santa shouted, "Or I'll send you to the Mental Instatute again!"
Zelos was just about to lunge out at Santa Claus, when a small flying pink hippo floated above them, and dropped a decorated letter at both Zelos and Raine's feet.
"DAMMIT, YGGDRASILL! YOU HAVE HORRIBLE TIMING!" Zelos screamed, and Santa, the elves, and the reinderr and froze.
"What was that..?" Santa asked slowly after a long silence.
Raine and Zelos looked at each other quickly, and their faces paled.
---Again...to be continued(annoying, huh?)---
President's Office, Lerenzo Company, Altamira, Tethe'alla, 3:00 P.M.
"...Well?" George said finally, after a long silence, "Presea?"
"Yeah?" Presea shrugged, munching on a cookie she got from Meltokio while they weren't looking.
"About the costume.." Regal started, slowly.
"Oh, that," Presea said blankly, "I forgot about that awhile ago.."
"..Eh!" Regal and George exclaimed at the same time.
"Yup...poor saps. Well, I've got Katz to uh..yeeeaaah...BYE!" Presea waved, and jumped out the window.
"...That wasted about a day and a half of our lives," George said.
"Yes..."
Before either of them could say anything, a pink flying hippo came in, and dropped a letter at Regal's feet.
"Is..is that..!" George asked, horrified.
"No...no it's not," Regal said camly, before throwing George out the window.
"Nooooooooo! I love you, random panda #3!" George cried, until he fell into the ocean and was eaten by an orca.
-----END OF CHAPTER SEVEN!----
A/N: Squee..Don't hurt me! I'm soooo sorry it's so short! I was going to make it longer, but that would delay it maybe for a week or longer. Flame me all you want, okay? Blame school! Aw, who am I kidding? I'm terrible! Well, yeah.. I'm SOOO sorry it took so long! I'm such a procratinator! And sorry if you don't like it as much..Ugh..I hate you, school! Well, please review as always. Encourage me! Please!