Chapter 73
One Line Too Far: Cursed Blood Boils Over!
"Mom! I'm home!" Amari called as she stepped into her home.
Silence greeted her and, after shutting and locking the door and slipping her sandals off, Amari cast her tired senses out in search of her mother's chakra. She found no one. A mission, no doubt.
Stifling a yawn behind her hand, Amari sluggishly sauntered through the house, up the stairs and to her room to unpack her gear and prepare fresh clothes. The quiet, peaceful aura of her home remained untouched since her departure, soothing the home sickness the last leg of the trip built in her stomach. But better to be homesick then seasick, in her humble opinion.
Seasickness would be a total drag.
It took her longer to unpack than it should have. Afflicted by yawns and lethargic limbs, her movements were inefficient and slow. She forgot what she was doing at times; the long days at sea, followed by days of travel on foot, wore down the kunoichi. Fortunately, the Hokage gifted them the rest of the day off to recuperate.
Seeing as it was only the afternoon and her ability to function properly was significantly impaired, Amari considered it a blessing. The Nara shook the cobwebs from her head and looked at her closet. Then back at her bed where her fresh clothes already waited.
I knew something felt weird about this. She stifled another yawn. I really need a nap.
First a shower. Preferably before auto-pilot zombie mode kicked in.
The debrief went quick. Lady Tsunade congratulated them on a job well done; with the dethroning of Dotō and return of the rightful Princess, the Land of Snow—which could one day be known as the Land of Spring—would return to the haven of peace it once was. And they could count Princess Koyuki as an ally.
Considering what their original mission seemed to be, the change of events—and return of Princess Koyuki—was a fascinating and encouraging sign for the Leaf. News of the Land of Snows regime change, and a Leaf's squad involvement in it, would reach the ears of anyone who believed them a weak target ripe for elimination, discouraging an attack.
But, with that thought, Amari reached her absolute limit of political talk. She grabbed her two sizes too big fuchsia V-neck, fresh shorts and undergarments then headed for the shower.
The shower freshened her up, made her feel clean and revitalized her spirits enough to make the walk to the kitchen for a warm meal seem feasible. After getting dressed, Amari made it back down the stairs and into the domain of the kitchen to prepare a meal. She considered ice cream for a long time; she stood at the freezer, eyes fixed on the images of glorious sweets on the carton, imagining how it would look in a bowl, and how it would taste.
It'd be a sweet treat. A perfect welcome home gift to herself, but her mother wouldn't have approved of ice cream as a meal.
Besides, she wanted something warm and tasty. Ichiraku Ramen fit those bills, but it was too far. Way too far. There wasn't enough energy in her body for that trip, even for the mouthwatering ramen Teuchi and Ayame cooked.
Eyeing the loaf of bread on the counter and the cheese and butter in the fridge, Amari nodded sharply to herself. Grilled cheese sandwich, a relatively quick meal to cook, with enough warmth and tastiness to satisfy her stomach. Perfect.
It took Amari until after she finished cooking, cleaning and eating to find her mother's letter, explaining the general details of her mission, the date she left and the date she expected to be back. She'd only left the evening before, and she assumed to be gone for a little more than a week.
Admittedly, the news disheartened Amari. She…she wanted to see her. To hug her. To talk about the mission, hear her mother thoughts in regards to the events that took place, ask about her first kill and how it made her feel. If she still remembered it. If she still thought about it. If it haunted her dreams, too, and if it ever stopped.
At the same time, she didn't want to speak on such heavy topics. Amari wanted to describe the Land of Snow without all the snow, to shyly confide and show the picture of Princess Koyuki kissing her cheek and express her pride in her team's final showdown with Dotō.
There was also the almost kiss between her and Sakura on her mind.
But Kurenai wasn't here, and wouldn't be for another week. Still, at least she had the words of love she left behind in her letter.
As long as she wasn't sent out of the Leaf on another mission, Amari would be waiting.
Amari returned to her room to nap—hibernate—after her meal.
It was a peaceful sleep.
The next morning was an early one, as they tended to be for Amari. She went through her morning routine and left for the training grounds to start her day off productively.
Little did she know what the Hokage had in mind for her and her teammates.
Amari finished a good morning spar with her clone when Kakashi appeared. He kept the meeting brief; he came to inform the kunoichi of his departure for a new mission, and to hand over his finished letter for the Mizukage.
"Try to keep the other's in line while I'm gone," he parted on.
"I'll do my best, but you know what I'm working with," she replied lightly.
Kakashi chuckled knowingly and waved as he departed.
By the time she sent Kaito on his way, she, Sasuke and Naruto were summoned by the Hokage to her office for their new set of marching orders.
The trio stood side by side in a line; Amari stood in-between the two boys, with Sasuke on her right and Naruto on her left. Amari kept herself at attention, while Naruto and Sasuke took more relaxed postures, the former of the pair clasping his hands behind his head and the latter stuffing his into his pockets.
In front of them, Lady Tsunade sat behind her desk, which clearly had seen endless traffic in recent days; Shizune stood on her flank, Tonton held in her arms.
"Due to her injuries," the Hokage began, hands resting in her lap, "Sakura will be off duty for the next week. It's the only way her hand will be able to heal properly, given the severity of the fractures she received."
They'd all assumed as much. Still, Amari didn't envy her kunoichi teammate. Being restrained to the hospital on bedrest was always a drag.
"Does that mean Team Seven is off duty, too?" Naruto asked curiously.
"No." Tsunade shook her head. "You all know the kind of situation we're in right now; with an exception to the injured, every capable shinobi has to pitch in to aid the recovery, which means taking your entire squad off duty beyond a single day of mandatory rest is not only impossible, but unacceptable, given the circumstances.
"So, while Sakura is recovering, you will all be completing these." Amari felt her eyes, and the eyes of her teammates, bulge in horror as the Hokage set three giant stacks of paper onto her desk. "We've accumulated plenty of D-rank missions to keep you Genin busy."
"You've got to be joking," Sasuke swore beneath his breath.
"Ah, man. What a draggg," Amari groaned quietly, body sagging.
Naruto was less quiet with his displeasure. His hands flailed through the air as he yelled, "What's all that?! Haven't the other teams been doing any work while we were gone?! I bet Shikamaru's been slacking off, that lazy little—"
"They've all been busy, believe me. And this is non-negotiable, Naruto," Tsunade kept her voice steady and to the point.
Team Seven as a collective unit deflated.
They had a long week ahead of them.
In a field of green grass, littered by stones etched with the names of lost loved ones, Amari sat alone. She spoke in quiet undertones.
"It's been a while, huh, Ryu. I've had a pretty eventful few months since I last came by, though I'm sure you already know that. You've seen it with your own eye, the amount of troublesome situations I've been involved in. Invasions, Akatsuki, regime changes; you'd think I'd be a hermit by now, hidden in the mountains where trouble can't find me. But the trouble is fine. I'm a troublesome girl, after all.
"I think of you a lot. You and Shisui. Sometimes its little things, like how you two would react to this or that, like me knocking out Kakashi-sensei or…how I got a kiss from a Princess. Shisui would've teased me endlessly about the kiss until I burned myself into a puddle of goo, troublesome boy. And you, I think you would have sighed in disapproval at me knocking out Kakashi-sensei, but only to hide your amusement.
"Lately, though, I've been thinking of how you two would have handled yourselves on my last mission. Would you have made the same mistakes as me, or would you two have done better?
"I don't know. I tried my best to put the training from the genjutsu into practice. I tried to fight smarter, not harder. I tried to use all my skills to the best of my abilities…but even then I wasn't able to save Sandayū or his people. I still screwed up. I still let my emotions get the better of me. I felt that darkness emerge again, and I let it take hold for the briefest of moments…
"But me and my team saved the Princess. That counts, right? We saved the Land of Snow from Dotō and his thugs. They have a future now. That's what Sandayū and his people fought for… It's what they died for. The possibility of a better future, it drives us to risk our lives, to take on heavy burdens, to sacrifice our lives or our happiness for others… It's what drives us to protect what we hold precious, even if it means killing.
"I recognize the hypocrisy of seeking peace while wielding a sword in my hands. Of saying I want to end the cycle of hatred and bloodshed this world is steeped in…while bearing the blood of another life on my hands. It'd be easy to blame the warmongers who helped create this cycle for it. But I chose to kill her. I made that call, not them.
"But how do you end a cycle with peaceful intentions and pretty words when the people you're trying to stop will continue to kill and hurt people? If we all laid our weapons down and chose to demilitarize, the other Nations would laugh at us as they slaughtered our people and split the Land of Fire into new territories. Peaceful intentions alone aren't enough.
"The world we live in, the one you asked me to seek a better future in, it's twisted. Did you see that back then? Did you see the twistedness of this world? Wars are waged over stupid, petty reasons. And the people who orchestrate them never fight on the frontlines.
"They send others to die; the young, the inspired, the duty bound, the old and everyone in-between, and because of them innocent people are always caught in the middle of it all. People who didn't chose this life. People who just want to live their lives and raise their families.
"And there are people who enjoy the suffering that is caused. People who relish in the bloodshed. People who love war. How can peace be achieved with twisted monsters like them in the world?
"The warmongers would then say the only path forward is to gain enough power to subjugate the other Nations into our vision of peace. But that wouldn't last. It'd breed more hatred, and the blood spilled to complete that goal would be irreversible. Eventually the cycle would continue, just in a different form. With different people. Same war, different faces.
"So I need weapons to defend myself, I have to gain strength and inspire my peers to be strong enough to defeat these threats, yet I also seek peace without subjugating the other Nations. Peace through force, that's exactly what the man who killed Shisui wanted. What a twisted man he must be, to believe such nonsense. Then again, I suppose he'd call me a naïve girl for my beliefs.
"Is that person right and I'm wrong? Am I still too naïve? But if I am, then why hasn't his ideal worked? How many wars have been waged, and we're still no closer to peace. How many people has he sacrificed, and yet the shinobi world is still clashing over the bad blood.
"I wish I knew what the right answer was. I wish I knew if the path I want to travel will bring a better future, but I just don't know…
"Atsuko and Shisui told me to trust in my heart and eyes to guide me. Maybe that's all I can do, and whatever happens, happens. If I screw something up, I'll just keep trying.
"Still… I don't regret killing Kōri, Ryu. I've thought about it a lot since then; hard not to when even my nightmares are affected by it… I've had this strange feeling in my heart ever since, and I think I figured it out. I don't regret killing her, I regret there being no other option left.
"There's a part of me that wanted to be able to reach out to her and save her from the darkness, like Haku. Like Naruto did with Gaara. I wish I could have. I wish there'd been a chance at redemption for her, because I…want to believe there is good in everyone. Which makes me a hypocrite again, I guess, because I also don't believe Dotō or Kasai have any good in them.
"But Kōri wasn't born to royalty like Dotō. Kōri may not have known people who genuinely loved and cared for her like we did for Kasai. So what pushed her to darkness? Who was she before Dotō? Did he use her vulnerabilities to twist her into the person I battled? And could I have pulled her away if I tried harder? She…she begged me for mercy. And all I could do was shun her. Scream at her. Then kill her.
"What if I tried harder, though? What if I left her alive so she could see what the Land of Snow became? Would it have changed her? Could it have changed her? Hope is powerful; it can be our greatest strength and become our ultimate undoing when time erodes our belief in a better future.
"I've thought about it a lot. In my heart, I wanted to believe I could always find a way to spare someone's life and change their path, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I can't. No matter how much I wish it could be different. Some people can't be saved. Some don't want to be saved. Some are just plain evil.
"I'll try my best to resolve battles peacefully. I'll keep reaching out to people who need help, but for twisted people like Dotō and Kōri, people who flaunt their power and use it to make others suffer, I think the world will be better off without them.
"Thank you for listening, Ryu. I miss you. But I'll keep walking forward to see a better future for us. Keep a close eye."
"So, not only one kiss from a princess, but two, huh?" Mimi teased, grinning as they walked through the streets of the Leaf.
Steam was rising from Amari's red face. Why did she do this to herself? She'd been recounting her last mission to Mimi, speaking openly and honestly about her feelings over the massacre of the samurai and Kōri's death, about how Princess Koyuki changed and the regal attire she wore. Then the little fact slipped out. A tiny confession, in a quiet voice.
Mimi hadn't relinquished hold of it since.
"Please stop," she pleaded for mercy.
"I'm just amazed you didn't melt then and there," Mimi didn't relent. "I mean, most people dream of being kissed by a princess. Entire books are written about the dashing knight who charges into battle, prepared to heroically battle through legions of the evil, dastardly villains who kidnapped the beautiful princess, where they then earn her kiss and her hand in marriage."
Mimi clapped her hand onto Amari's shoulder, grinning from ear to ear. "But you overachieved! You got two kisses from a princess! And a gorgeous one at that! You're the envy of the shinobi world, Amari. How does it feel?"
How did the kiss make her feel? Warm and fuzzy. Tingly. Lighter than air. Like a teenage girl who'd finally been kissed by her greatest crush.
How did it feel to be the apparent envy of the shinobi world?
"I told you this in confidence!" she hissed back.
"I haven't told anyone," Mimi grinned, spreading her hands out.
"Except anyone eavesdropping on you!"
Aoko chortled at her from Mimi's head.
"Let them listen," the Inuzuka shrugged. "We're all envying you, Amari. First kiss from a beautiful princess, and almost an arranged marriage to boot! Hahaha!"
"Mimi!" Amari buried her red face into her hands and groaned. "It was a kiss on the cheek. That doesn't count as a first kiss."
"But you wouldn't have minded if it was on the lips."
"I'll hire Hana to smother you while you sleep!"
Mimi cackled at the threat and red faced kunoichi.
But she wasn't wrong, nor would Amari deny it.
However, her first real kiss was almost with someone else entirely. Almost. But Naruto's snore broke whatever spell she and Sakura had been possessed by. Or perhaps it hadn't broken a spell, but stole their courage.
In that moment, Amari felt herself leaning in. Sakura mirrored her. Slowly, steadily, they inched closer, closer, closer. She was hyper-aware of everything. Of their touching shoulders. Of Sakura's delicate and strong hand holding hers. How her eyes resembled the finest of emerald gems and almost glowed in the darkness; the closer she leaned, the better she could see them, and within the emerald orbs were feelings that made her wonder, that drew her in to answer with her own feelings, that made strange warmth wiggle through her body.
The brush of air caressing her skin as Sakura exhaled, the scent of the berry scented shampoo from the Land of Snow on each inhale, their hands slowly tightening their hold in anticipation; she could feel strands of Sakura's hair tickle her shoulder.
Amari comprehended what they doing, of how close their lips were to meeting, yet she didn't think. There weren't intricate thoughts on her mind, just feelings. Natural, vulnerable, scary and wonderful feelings.
Her heart still fluttered at the thought of it all. Of Sakura's warm smile in the darkness. Of her comfort. Of her confident and inviting emerald eyes. Her near eidetic memory made it all so vivid.
Sakura was pretty. Always had been. But her attitude before the Land of Waves left them at ends, for obvious reasons. Their friendship had blossomed since then…
…More than I realized.
In the shadowed privacy of the crew quarters, on her top bunk as waves sloshed beneath the ship and her nightmares faded in the wake of Sakura's gentle touch, for that single moment they drifted past the boundaries of friendship into something more. Only to then retreat back to the known, the familiar, the comfortable.
Neither spoke of it the entire trip back. It lingered in shadows around them, surprisingly without an awkward air.
Things were different, though. Amari noticed she and Sakura gravitated closer together throughout the trip back; their close physical proximity, at times, led to hands lightly resting on backs or shoulders, announcing their presence through the gesture rather than words; fingertips would brush gently along hands or forearms, unannounced but not undesired.
At times, the contact made Amari feel like a restless bird was trying to break out of her chest.
These little innocent affections, these gestures, to Amari's mind it meant neither of them thought of the almost kiss as a mistake. But she avoided reading too much into it. In the end, Sakura found her at her most vulnerable, finally bearing witness to something only a handful of people knew about. It wasn't as if Naruto and Sasuke knew about her nightmares.
So, in a way, it was only natural for them to be closer, not in any romantic way, but because of this secret Sakura was keeping for her without being asked.
Still, she wondered…
"Hey, Mimi? Can I ask you a question and ask a favor?" Amari asked, banishing her blush for a serious matter.
"Of course."
"Are there any pointers you can give Sakura on Lady Tsunade's monstrous strength?"
"Nothing you don't already know," Mimi shook her head. "I was more into her feats in Medical Ninjutsu. Don't get me wrong, I can talk your ear off about the Old Hags legacy, but you know as much as I do when it comes to her strength. It's all about chakra control at the end of the day. Beyond that I can't help you. No doubt she'd be able to break it down to an anatomical level if you really wanted to know."
Amari nodded. "Okay."
"What's the favor?"
"Would you be willing to give Sakura some basic places to start with Medical Ninjutsu whenever we're all free from missions?"
With her intelligence and chakra control, Medical Ninjutsu seemed like the next and best step for her to move towards.
It'll also give us an edge to have a medic in the squad.
Medical-ninja were a rare breed, and Sakura had the potential to become a great medical-ninja. All she needed was a push in the right direction and someone to give her ground work to lay a foundation. Amari couldn't, not for this.
Mimi's answer was immediate. "Of course. It'll be tough, even with her chakra control and intelligence, but Sakura possesses all the right ingredients to be a medical-ninja." She grinned. "Now if you asked me to teach the Goofball, I would decline and check if you are suffering from a head injury."
Amari giggled before thanking Mimi. The pair touched on Lee's surgery after that. A lot of preparations were going into it to raise the percent of success as high as it could go. Add in scheduling it around the Hokage's already busy schedule and it would be another week or two before he would actually be able to get the surgery.
Both kunoichi were optimistic about it, as were Lee and Guy.
Seems I'll actually have to start dealing with the whole rivalry business soon.
Normally she wouldn't have minded it, but Lee was coming out from being on bed rest since the preliminaries of the Chūnin Exams. Ninjas did not do well on bed rest, and Lee had suffered through it for two full months and change.
"The amount of pent up energy he'll have is going to be such a drag when it's turned in my direction," she muttered.
"Don't worry," Mimi chuckled. "I'll heal whatever damage he does to you."
"Gee, thanks," Amari drawled, rolling her eyes with a smirk on her lips.
"Or I could send for that princess and ask her to kiss it all better."
Red flushed Amari's face, feet halting. It also turned onyx into crimson. "Mimi. You better start running," she warned.
The Inuzuka noticed the flash of red, grinned then bolted off, cackling the whole way.
Amari gave chase with threats flying from her lips.
Having an older sibling could be a real drag.
Amari sat beneath a tree on Team Seven's usual training field, back braced against the trunk, pencil in hand and notes on the Flying Raijin in front of her. A cool rush of air rustled the trees around her, carrying fallen leaves to the grassy floor below.
Wind is picking up, she thought, gently capturing a few strands of hair the wind blew into her face to tuck them behind her ear. Dark clouds built and circled around Konoha, ready to unleash a flurry of rain and lightning on the dormant Village. Distant rumbles of thunder steadily grew louder. The closer the storm advanced, the colder the air became, though nothing that required cloaks or long-sleeves.
Amari dressed in her usual gear—purple tank top, mesh long sleeve, black shorts—with her forehead protector tied around her neck and bandana over her left eye. Comfortable. Relaxed, despite the incoming storm.
It had taken her a week to complete all but three of the missions Lady Tsunade had tasked her with. Why were three relatively mundane and non-priority missions left in her pile?
Pure, unapologetic laziness.
Of course the recovery was on her mind; missions helped fund it, no matter how small or mundane they were. But she also wasn't a moron. The Hokage had several stacks of those D-rank missions; if she finished her stack before Sakura returned to active duty, the Hokage would shoulder her with another stack of missions—a lesson Naruto and Sasuke learned the hard way.
Babysitting, delivering lunches and other mundane tasks could kill through sheer boredom. Sure, her Genin rank technically designated these specific missions, but it wasn't like she or her team were fresh out of the Academy anymore. She had participated in the finals of the Chūnin Exams with Mimi Inuzuka, a kunoichi with a year more of experience than her, and they earned a standing ovation for their performance.
Didn't that count for anything?
All of these intense missions have spoiled me, Amari mused. Now D-ranks are too tame for me to enjoy. Then again, even back when we first chased Tora and had to walk dogs I was bored out of my mind.
The Nara shrugged to herself and continued working. She would finish her missions either later today or tomorrow. Today Sakura officially returned to active duty; all four of them decided to have a group training session, both as a means of reprieve from the D-rank missions and so Sakura could detangle the kinks of restlessness she'd been ensnared by.
For now, while she waited for her team to arrive, this space-time ninjutsu stood as Amari's real challenge. The Nara in her appreciated the difficulty level. Overall, it entertained her mind the same way shogi did; it also fueled the same frustration she experienced when losing a game to her cousin and uncle.
The path forward remained obscured. Layers upon layers of intricacies buried the use of this jutsu far beyond the piercing vision of any dōjutsu. It danced out of sight and out of reach, cloaked by an illusion that could, at times, make it seem like the answer was right there, but when she reached for it, she only grasped threads of air.
Today, with the help of Atsuko, she brushed away the dead and decayed leaves concealing the first cobblestone on the road ahead.
Since they returned, Atsuko had been teaching her how to use the Crows more effectively. From a purely objective standpoint, she relied on Osamu and Atsuko to use their techniques for her rather than accessing their power in synchronicity, which Dotō showed her the weakness of. Once she was separated from Atsuko, she was at his mercy, unable to do anything except wait until he killed or paralyzed her, or, luckily, be rescued.
She treated the Crows power as a separate entity, when she and Atsuko, Osamu or any other Crow needed to work as a single unit. The same way Mimi and Aoko worked together as one, the same way they coordinated seamlessly, that's what she needed to achieve with the Crows. It's what Itachi had achieved, and Shisui before him, and her father before him.
Anyway, over the week they'd discussed many important subjects, such as where she learned Uchiha Style: Halo Dance—Shisui's signature technique, according to Atsuko—and everything Shisui spoke of in the fūinjutsu, as well as her conversation with Itachi in the Tsukuyomi.
"In the Tsukuyomi, Itachi revealed pieces of the truth to me; I know Aimi and Itachi aren't our real enemies, that they were forced onto this path by the Foundation leader. He also showed me Shisui's final moments, right before he threw himself off the cliff into Nakano River. His death was meant to allow them to unlock the Mangekyō Sharingan. Is that how it really happened, Atsuko?"
"Yes… Forgive me, Young Haya."
"For what?" she had asked in confusion.
"For my inability to protect Shisui the one time he truly needed me, and the suffering it has forced upon us all," was Atsuko's solemn answer.
"It's not your fault, Atsuko. Shisui wouldn't want you to blame yourself for what happened, and I don't blame you either. The real people at fault are this Foundation group; them and that Masked Man are the ones responsible for all of this, they're the ones who forced this suffering onto all of us. We'll put it right one day. That's the path Shisui left behind for us, right?"
"Yes, you are right, Young Haya. We absolutely will put an end to those who caused every single one of us this pain. Until then we must become stronger."
"Right."
Today, as she worked, Atsuko had peered from her shoulder at the notes scrawled over the page. Unannounced she reversed summoned herself, then returned a few minutes later with a small sheet of paper, onto which notes were written in a familiar yet foreign penmanship on one side, while the back was marked by a fūinjutsu seal of some sort.
"Atsuko, what is all this? I…I know this handwriting…" She drew her finger along the old paper, over the neat script, as if it were her favorite childhood toy she hadn't seen in years.
"As you should. It's your mother's, after all." Her hand froze, chest suddenly tight. "When your mother was pregnant with you, she used her temporary leave of absence to study and learn the complexities of the Flying Raijin Jutsu. Your mother's work continued even after you were born. Her hope was for you to one day learn it so you would surpass her and your father."
"These notes," Atsuko had motioned to the paper with her wing, "should aid you in learning how to create the seal for the Flying Raijin. As you know, we lack the years for you to start from scratch; our enemies will not wait for us to gather our power, we must take hold of it while they lurk in the shadows, so we may eradicate them when they finally emerge.
"Of course, Kakashi and Genma cannot be entirely blamed, for this jutsu is not common place among shinobi. The masters of this jutsu have long since passed, and with them, their knowledge. Or so the world believed, at least. Your mother left these notes in my care for you to finish her work."
"You'll also enjoy the look of surprise on Kakashi-sensei and Genma-sensei faces when I use this long before they expect me to," Amari pointed out while smirking.
"There is that, yes. Consider it as a belated birthday gift from myself and from your mother as well."
Amari had been studying the notes her mother wrote ever since and incorporating what she could into her own work. Atsuko left her to it.
Brushing a few strands of her hair back behind her ear again, Amari tapped the eraser end of her pencil against her chin. I'm starting to see patterns where they didn't exist before…
A frown pulled her lips down as she noticed a mistake in her work, forcing the kunoichi to erase it. But I don't quite have it yet. There's still a lot of time and work ahead of me.
At least I have a starting point.
The starting point was only one step on this journey to learn the technique, but it was a solid step she would not have to retract. Amari had her footing. All she had to do now was keep moving forward. One day she would perform the Flying Raijin. One day she would match her mother's strides.
One day.
Sasuke approached the training field at a steady pace, hands in his pockets. He could see Amari sitting under a tree working on that difficult fūinjutsu technique Kakashi had her learning. Her onyx eye was pinned to a sheet of paper, leaving only momentarily to scan another sheet of notes before returning to the original.
Early as always, he thought with a brief smirk. It fell as quickly as it arrived.
Amari's obsession with arriving on time made it easy to predict where she would be, especially if she was meant to meet anyone at a specific time and place. Nine times out of ten she would be there waiting several minutes early; the one time she wouldn't be was either due to circumstances out of her control—a bad omen in most cases—or were times she arrived exactly on time.
Today her obsession proved useful for Sasuke. While he was nowhere near as early for their team training as she was, he was still early today for a reason. But it wasn't to have a one-on-one battle with her or because he wanted to sit around at the field waiting for the others.
The arriving storm, in his opinion, would end up canceling their training today anyways.
Sasuke's purpose for arriving was to have a one-on-one talk with his clan-sister. He needed to talk to her, had needed to since Itachi incapacitated her. His conversation with Shikamaru had applied a salve to the burning guilt in his gut; it kept the lingering questions from tearing apart his sanity, but none of it had ever truly went away.
They were only subdued, restrained while he waited for his clan-sister to recover more. He knew she needed time. He had gone through the same hell long ago, and no matter how hard she tried to hide it at the start, he knew she was suffering a loss her tender heart could barely withstand.
In the time since, he kept his mouth shut regarding Shisui, Aimi and Itachi. Those three names were all too interconnected for him to not talk about one without bringing in the other two. One mention of Aimi could easily remind Amari of Shisui. Asking about her cousin was impossible for him to do without bringing up his murderer of a brother.
If he pushed the conversation he'd only end up hurting the already shattered kunoichi, so he bit his tongue and bid his time for her strength to return.
Today he could no longer remain silent. His inability to protect her because of his own idiotic move ate away at his conscious more than killing the Snow Ninjas did. Outside of being impressed, and slightly worried, by Sakura's punch, the deaths of Mizore and Fubuki weren't in his thoughts.
Amari's sacrifice still haunted his dreams to the same extent finding his parents dead had. The paralyzing helplessness, the blinding hatred, the suffocating fear, the burning guilt, those feelings persisted in maintaining their presence within his mind and heart.
He needed to talk to her like they needed oxygen to live. What could she remember now? Did Shisui try to stop Aimi and Itachi? Had he left any way to help them grow stronger so they could bring down Itachi and Aimi's insanity together? What were the full details of what his brother had shown her? Was she okay? Did she have any resentment towards him for his brother's actions?
Sasuke needed answers. He needed to know if she would be able to fight by his side to take down his brother or if the genjutsu would prevent her. He needed to know if his brother's actions or his inability to protect her fractured their bond in any way.
Some of those answers were blindingly obvious to anyone who could see straight. Amari's attitude towards him hadn't changed at all. If anything they were closer, but he could also feel distance between Amari and the rest of them, undoubtedly the result of the scars left behind by the Tsukuyomi and then Sandayū's demise.
I should have stayed with her. At least then she wouldn't have to carry the burden alone.
Amari was fighting, struggling, clawing to move forward as the shadow of recent events continued to linger behind her and grow in size, impossible to outrun.
Sasuke hoped talking about the incident with his brother would shrink the size of the shadow following both of them.
Right now, when their teammates weren't around and there were no new missions on the horizon, was the best opportunity to discuss such a deeply private and personal matter to them both.
Sasuke had thought long and hard on what he wanted to ask and say since the day she was knocked unconscious. Now the chance had finally arrived to go through with it and, hopefully, ease their burdens just a little.
"Hey Sasuke," Amari greeted him once he was in speaking distance without looking up from her work. Her hand continued jotting down whatever intricate thought pattern moved through her mind.
Sasuke scanned the sheets of paper from his standing position with scrutinizing eyes. From top to bottom, each sheet was filled with words and fūinjutsu sketches, and no matter how hard he tried to understand the information written and sketched out, none of it made an ounce of sense to him.
Those are some intricate notes on fūinjutsu. His eyes moved from page to page one last time. "Shikamaru's right. You really are going to work yourself to death."
"Heh," Amari breathed out a short laugh and shook her head. "Don't tell me you're going to start taking after my lazy cousin. My hands are already full keeping him motivated. I don't know if I can manage the both of you."
Sasuke smirked once more as he too released a short chuckle.
"Want to talk?" she asked.
It was more of an invitation of conversation than a question. He still provided an answer, to be polite. "Yeah."
She nodded. "Okay, just give me one second." Amari finished a few lines of notes in silence before she sealed all of the notes away into a single scroll. When the Nara was done, she stood up, shut her eye and raised her hands to the sky as she stretched out her back. "What's on your mind, Sasuke?" she asked as she stretched.
"I wanted to talk to you about Itachi, Aimi and Shisui," he went straight to the point.
Amari's body stilled in the stretch, almost as if someone used a Paralysis Jutsu on her the moment he spoke. Her right eye remained closed as she released a soft breath through her nose and lowered her arms back down to her sides.
When she opened her eye, it did not meet his; it was set down away from him, the sadness and reluctant understanding clear in the window to her soul.
She's still feeling it.
Sasuke wasn't surprised; in fact, he anticipated it. Even years after the massacre, the death of his parents and Clan at the hands of his brother remained nearly as painful as the day it happened.
It had barely been two months now for Amari. One of her strongest bonds had finally been remembered, and then immediately severed in the same moment, creating enough pain in her heart to unlock the Mangekyō Sharingan.
She might as well have lost Kurenai and Team Seven.
Part of Sasuke realized he should simply drop the subject completely. It didn't take Sharingan to see she needed more than a few months to recover, but he was too focused on his objective to hear wisdom.
"Yeah… I've been meaning to talk to you…just never found the right time or the right way to bring it up," she said quietly.
She refused to meet his eyes. She continued to stare at the grassy floor as she brought her right hand up to grab her left arm. Sasuke knew the tell. She was nervous. Honestly, he was a bit nervous himself. The last time he had tried asking her questions about her past, he cursed his brother's name and accidentally triggered the genjutsu on her mind.
The screams of agony followed by the lifeless eye were a reminder to tread lightly.
She's already suffered enough mental anguish thanks to me and my brother. I don't want to hurt her more.
Before he could ask a question or say anything else, Amari spoke up. "Your brother…Itachi… He used to be someone I called my friend. My self-esteem was…well, even saying it was at rock bottom is gracious.
"When I met Itachi face to face for the first time, I wasn't the me you've known and know. I wasn't strong-willed. I didn't have strength. My self-esteem was nonexistent. The berating's, the bullying, the suspicious and disgusted stares from the rest of the Clan, all because I was a half-breed…it hurt, really bad." Her voice broke a little.
"I felt worthless…like no matter how hard I tried I would never and could never be anything except useless. My parents and Shisui tried to show me none of what was said was true, and for a while I believed them…but eventually their words felt hollow. Not because of them, but because everyone else made me believe I was worthless."
Sasuke shut his eyes, a tight frown pulling onto his face at his Clan's cruelty. They had no idea what they were talking about.
When she spoke again, he opened his eyes. "Prior to that, I never met your brother, not face to face at least. I had seen him train with Shisui and Aimi, but I never approached them. I always waited behind trees or bushes for them to leave because I was afraid of what they would say to me. Eventually, though, we met and he told me something no one outside of my family ever did."
"What?" Sasuke asked.
Amari finally looked at him with reminiscent happiness shimmering within her onyx eye. "He told me I belonged. The son of the Head of the Clan told me, the lowly half-breed everyone else treated like dirt, that I belonged, that being a half-breed didn't matter because this heart of mine," she placed her right hand over her heart and shut her eye, "was true and pure. Those words and the feeling of belonging they gave me…I'll never forget them."
She lowered her hand and opened her eye again. "It was because of him that I saw past the opinions of people who didn't matter and finally saw the truth in my family's words. But more than that…thanks to him, Aimi and Shisui training me, I began to believe in myself and my abilities. I found my strength. I was finally able to be happy with myself.
"Although those two walk in darkness now, I will always be grateful to them and look back on those days with fondness."
To hear such heartfelt words about his brother made Sasuke's chest feel tight. They reminded him of the brother he once looked up to, the one he had loved dearly and wished never turned to the insanity he now pursued…the brother he missed terribly.
At the same time, a sting of jealously also reverberated in his heart. His brother had rarely ever trained him. Any time he asked he would receive a poke to the forehead and a "maybe next time" from Itachi. Sometimes it made him feel like a pest and eventually, before his brother killed everyone, he resented the shadow casted on him by his genius brother.
Finding out that his brother had taken the time to train her instead…it hurt in a way Sasuke didn't expect to hurt after everything that had happened.
He had to move beyond this childish jealousy he was feeling about a brother that no longer existed. The Itachi who trained her and made her believe in herself was dead. Fighting her for his approval and attention was pointless and below him.
He had to stay focused on his purpose for this conversation—the questions he needed answers to.
"What else do you remember about your past?" he questioned.
"Most of the memories I've gained are of happier times. Personal moments. Even just spending time with Shisui, Aimi and Itachi when they were together." A nostalgic smile pulled onto her lips as she looked away from him to the nearby river running along the training field. Then she looked at him and dipped her head towards it.
"Walk with me?"
He gave a nod and followed at her side. She grabbed her mesh covered arm again as they walked. "Aimi used to bring us sweets when I trained with Itachi or Shisui—I can still smell and taste them if I close my eyes and try. Aimi was like an older sister to me; she called me her little sweet."
Sasuke snorted at the nickname. "Her little sweet?"
"Don't tease!" she whined, playfully pushing his shoulder. "I was small as a child and I have an insatiable sweet tooth. The nickname was endearing!"
He considered reminding her of her small size, but decided against it. Some subjects were too dangerous to touch, even for an Uchiha. So he chuckled and let it go.
"Anyway," she huffed, "when Shisui and Itachi would spar, I can remember her braiding my hair while I cheered for Shisui to beat him. I remember her healing Itachi and Shisui after their spars, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at some of the injuries they received from one another.
"I remember Itachi's troublesome riddles in the middle of training, always right before my inevitable defeat. His constant pushing to become better, the proud smile on his face as my skills improved."
They made it to the riverbank and continued to walk alongside it, the gusts of wind pushing up against their backs and dancing along the surface of the water. "I can remember Shisui teasing Itachi and Aimi about being in love. They'd either frown at him or hit him, always while blushing. I loved watching all three of their interactions with one another. I loved the jests, the happiness, the feeling of family outside of family they had. I wished to be a part of it, never realizing I already was."
"How did we never meet?" Sasuke asked, stunned.
Some of those interactions, he remembered them, too. Vaguely. Impossible to recall without assistance since they were buried six feet beneath festering hatred. And the way she was speaking, surely he should have run into her at one point or another. Yet somehow they hadn't. Not until after everything had been torn from them.
"We almost did. I was just too shy to come out from my hiding place." Amari giggled to herself. "Shisui teased me for days for that. He wanted me to meet new people and make friends just like he could. He was so certain you and I would get along."
"He was right," Sasuke pointed out.
They had gotten off on the wrong foot back in the Academy, mostly because he couldn't stand losing to the new girl, but he saw her as a comrade and a sister now. Had they met back then…he wasn't sure things would have been all too different than they were now, but her return to the Village would have been a bigger shock, to say the least.
She shook her head at his statement. "You have no idea how wrong you are."
Sasuke gazed openly at her with his eyebrow raised in utter confusion. Where did that come from? Why didn't she think they would have gotten along as they did now?
His confusion only made her giggle again. "I was shyer than Hinata back then, and on top of that you believed Itachi was better than Shisui. I would have argued the greatness of my cousin until the end of time. Still would."
Sasuke snorted and shook his head at her genuine desire to argue on Shisui's behalf. It was a fair point, he couldn't deny that.
If she had the same fiercely stubborn attitude she has now back then, we probably would have come to blows.
"We would have been rivals," he admitted.
No way would he have accepted her side of the argument back before his brother killed everyone.
Amari grinned in challenge. "Shisui was stronger, faster and smarter than Itachi," she declared.
Sasuke merely rolled his eyes and let the argument go. In his childhood he would have argued with her until he was a decrepit old man, valiantly in defense of his brother. But that was in the past. Now his eyes were set on destroying Itachi; he no longer desired to defend him in any form…even if part of him was certain his brother was better.
Definitely would have been rivals, he mused.
The pair fell into silence and strolled along the riverbank for several strides, their silence comfortable with a sense of gloom underneath it. Amari was the first one to stop. She turned to the river and knelt down next to it, resting her left arm on her knee as she reached her right hand out to glide the tips of her fingers along the water.
"I miss those days," she said, her voice softening with a longing for the past he knew all too well.
"…Yeah."
He had done his best to focus on killing his brother after the massacre, but buried deep beneath his hatred was the same yearning for the life they lost. A life where his parents and big brother were still at his side. He missed his mother and father deeply. There were things he wished to have had a chance to say to them, things he wished they could have seen from him.
Distant thoughts of what life could have been like caused him a great deal of pain. Sasuke could see family moments he wished to have shared in, moments captured in his mind like pictures for him to look at as if they had actually happened.
Things would have been so different. He knew it to be true in his heart. And, selfishly, stupidly, he envied the fūinjutsu Amari's mother created for her. He envied Amari's chance to hold Shisui in her arms again, and he hated that he felt that way.
Despite the shadow his brother's success casted on him back then, Sasuke missed the brother he once looked up to. He missed him a lot. He wished his brother never would have jumped on the runaway train of insanity he was now in charge of. The bond they had, or the bond he thought they had, meant so much to him.
Now they were bound by a bond of hatred, unlike Amari and Shisui who were bound by a bond of love.
The memories of his old bond and the family taken from him only fueled Sasuke to kill the man behind it all.
Thinking about the good of the past hurt too much. He blocked it out of his mind every day to keep them from penetrating the walls of his heart. Focus on his goal was all he needed. He needed to stay focused on his path to kill his brother and not let those good memories blind him. Not that they could.
The memory of his brother standing over their parents' corpses could never be forgotten or forgiven.
The thought of his dead parents led to the reminder that Amari, too, had lost hers to his brother. She hadn't walked in on their dead bodies, but those precious people were stolen from her just as his were stolen from him.
He watched her for a few silent moments as she glided her fingers across the water, melancholy written in her onyx eye. We've both suffered because of my brother. I have to make it right.
"I'm sorry," Sasuke apologized.
Amari's eye was drawn away from her reflection to his, the melancholy being replaced by honest confusion. "For what?"
"For what pain my brother has caused you. He killed Shisui and your parents, and then put you through the hell of watching him do it." Sasuke shook his head at the thought of what his brother did to her and the events leading up to it. "If I had just used my head instead of attacking him head-on like an idiot, you wouldn't have been out of it for a month."
"You aren't responsible for what happened to me, Sasuke. I would have made the same choice even if you weren't injured. As for Shisui…"
Amari dragged her index finger through the water, creating ripples to be carried off by the current. Her eye fell away from his as she directed her focus across the water. "You didn't kill him, and neither did Itachi or Aimi."
Sasuke furrowed his brow and stared at her ripple reflection. "What are you talking about? Itachi told me on the night of the massacre that he killed Shisui. The Police Force even asked him about it."
And he beat the hell out of them. Sasuke could still recall the beating his brother gave the three members of the Police Force. The level of anger his brother showed, he had never seen anything like it before. But it was all a ruse. He said he killed Shisui to unlock the Mangekyō…he told me that because he expected me to kill my best friend to unlock it.
A lie he had held on to until their reunion.
"Itachi lied to you," Amari stated. "I saw Shisui's death with my own eyes in the Tsukuyomi, and before through the genjutsu on my mind."
Amari's features began to fall further into sorrow as she continued to recount the events she believed were true. "Someone stole his eye and poisoned him. Said whoever it was didn't trust what he was trying to do. He…plucked his other eye out and gave it to Itachi so I would one day inherit it. Gave him a scroll of items I was meant to inherit before leaving my well-being, and the well-being of the Village and Clan in his and Aimi's hands.
"They swore to carry on his Will and keep me safe…and then Shisui tossed himself off the cliff into the Nakano River. They tried to stop him at the last moment, but they didn't reach him."
A dark spark ignited in Sasuke. It was a lie. It had to be a lie his brother crafted for her. His brother had murdered Shisui, Aimi probably helped him, too, and then they murdered the entire Clan. Nothing else made sense.
If Shisui really committed suicide and his brother and Aimi swore to carry on his will and protect the Clan and Amari, why the hell did they murder everyone? Shisui wouldn't have wanted that. And if she was telling the truth, which he doubted, then that meant his brother and Aimi lied straight to their dying friend's face and were now in possession of one of his eyes.
Frustration and anger built in his stomach. "If that's true, then why the hell did they massacre everyone and leave us alive?" he demanded.
"There's more going on than we know." Amari stood up. "I have vague memories of my parents, Shisui, Itachi and Aimi silently talking about stuff together, only to always change the subject when I would get near. Atsuko once said to me that the Uchiha had lost their way; I asked Shisui, too, when we were together and he said the Uchiha Clan gave into the Curse of Hatred."
The stupid, selfish sting of envy hit him again.
"All the way up to his final moments, Shisui said Aimi and Itachi were true friends. They were all trying to stop…something or someone. And had the person that took Shisui's eye not interfered, they would have succeeded."
Lies, all lies. Fake memories planted by the genjutsu on her mind so she wouldn't ever see the truth for what it was. The fact that it was working on someone as intelligent as Amari and turning her away from the path of destroying his brother only infuriated him more.
How can she be so naïve?
"This person or group to interfere, they forced Itachi and Aimi into a position where there were no good options left," she continued in her ignorance. "Everything spiraled out of control is what Shisui told me. The day of the massacre then came, my Mama brought me out to the Nara forest and must've told Itachi where I was so he could take me some place safe.
"Leaving me in the Village was too dangerous, but my return was inevitable. I was to become a Leaf shinobi, inherit his tantō and meet Atsuko so she could guide me on the path Shisui left—"
"Stop! Just, stop."
Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. How could she believe something so ridiculous? She was essentially saying his brother and Aimi murdered their parents and the rest of the Clan so they wouldn't have to kill them. It wasn't true. It couldn't be!
His brother and Aimi were out for power and left them alive merely to test their skills and take their eyes if they weren't good enough.
"Do you have any idea what you're even saying or how it sounds?" he asked her pointedly.
Amari raised her eyebrow at his sudden shift of emotions. "I know what I'm saying and I know it sounds crazy, but there's too much evidence pointing towards it to ignore."
"There is no evidence, Amari," he stated firmly, his body beginning to shake with barely contained rage. "These…delusions you're having about the massacre—"
"Delusions?" Amari sounded offended.
"—they're ridiculous. My brother showed me what he did to our Clan and my parents; he told me he killed Shisui to gain the Mangekyō Sharingan. The Police Force even suspected him of it and he beat the living hell out of them. What he did, there is no logic behind it, no promise he is fulfilling, no excuse for his actions. None!"
"I don't doubt he did slaughter everyone," Amari's voice was steady but her eye set in a severe glare. "But he wasn't alone and you weren't the only survivor, that's proof he's lied to you before. He even confessed to his lies when we were in that hallway."
Sasuke grunted in irritation at the evidence he couldn't deny.
"I saw your brother the night of the massacre. He's the one who placed the genjutsu on me, but before he did I saw tears streaming down his face; he was in pain, Sasuke, maybe not physically, but emotionally. Shisui and Atsuko have also confirmed to me personally that Itachi and Aimi weren't responsible for his death. You may not like it, but it is the truth."
Crying? Hurting? Now he knew it was lies. His brother's Tsukuyomi had somehow convinced her of all of these ridiculous notions only someone with the soft heart and naiveté of Amari could believe.
"You actually believe all of this? How can you be so naïve after all the pain he's caused us?" Sasuke questioned incredulously.
The fire in Amari's eye was growing, yet he couldn't see any of it. All he could see was the work of his brother turning his clan-sister down a winding road of lies and half-truths.
"I don't know what's worse," she started, her calm voice steadily falling into irritation, "you calling me naïve when you're still believing the lies Itachi fed you, or the fact you think Atsuko and Shisui both lied to me."
Sasuke let out a growl. She was calling him naïve when she was the one believing fairy tales were real? He couldn't find a proper response to it. Her words were stripping away every rational argument and thought he had, and that annoyed him.
Amari merely shook her head at him then turned her back to him. "Your brother and Aimi will walk their paths just as we will walk ours. If you continue on your path, you'll only meet him in a battle to the death, but you'll be a fool if you think your brother and Aimi are the sole perpetrators of the pain we both carry in our hearts."
Sasuke's entire body was quaking with held back rage. His hands curled into fists, jaw tight and teeth clenched. She was speaking like she knew everything, but she had no idea what she was talking about or any understanding of the true depth of his pain.
This entire conversation had been one button push after another and he could barely stand here and listen to such ignorance and be told he was the fool.
The Nara crossed her arms over her chest and moved her right hand to the side of her right eye. "Someone stopped Shisui from completing his plan, poisoned him so he'd die no matter what happened. They made him feel a level of regret I pray I never have to feel by forcing him to break his promise to me, and they will pay for it. Whoever is behind his pain and the pain I now suffer will wish they had never crossed my family."
"It was Itachi."
Amari turned around and met his furious eyes with her frustrated stare. "No, it wasn't," she responded as evenly as she could. "I understand this is personal to you, but try to open your mind to other avenues of thought. Itachi lied to you about Shisui, about how the Mangekyō is unlocked, about you two being the only survivors. I'm not saying he didn't kill your parents, and you have every right to hate him for it, but Itachi and Aimi didn't have a choice.
"Shisui and Atsuko both entrusted these truths to me, so I would appreciate it if you stopped taking me for a delusional fool and an ignorant child who doesn't know one from two.
"The Clan lost their way. Whether or not you agree doesn't change the simple fact that the evidence I have fits together better than Itachi and Aimi suddenly going insane before murdering everyone besides us so they could fight us later."
"I would stop taking you for a delusional fool if you stopped acting like one," he retorted heatedly. Amari's eye became a slit at the insult hurled her way. "You have no idea what you're talking about. I watched my parents and everyone I cared about die over and over and over again because of him!"
He began taking aggressive steps forward. "And yet you say he had no other choice but to kill them." Sasuke pointed at himself and stopped mere inches from her. "I saw him kill helpless people without remorse! Young, old, it didn't matter! He just slaughtered them without hesitation!"
"I'm not denying that. But look at the evidence—"
"What evidence?!" Sasuke shouted into her face. How could she continue such ridiculous arguments?! Damn it! Why is she so stubborn! "You're reaching out for explanations that don't exist, Amari! There is no sane reason for what he did. He had no reason to kill our parents!"
"That's my point!" Amari fired back, raising her voice to match his rising volume. "Think about who Itachi and Aimi are. They never acted without cause. They weren't simpleminded idiots incapable of higher thought. Everything they ever did with me when we trained had a calculated purpose, a reason."
There she went again, seeking out reasons for insanity all the while shoving in his face the fact his brother trained her and not him, his own flesh and blood. She's so infuriating!
She gestured heatedly towards him with her hand. "You said Itachi beat the crap out of the Police Force for accusing him of killing Shisui. Why the hell do you think he would do that?"
"I'm sure you're about to tell me," he answered sarcastically.
It touched a nerve, he could tell by the twitch of her eyebrow. Amari continued nonetheless. "If someone accused you of killing me days after you witnessed me kill myself to give you the power of the Mangekyō Sharingan as my final wish, how would you take it? Would you stand idly by and take their accusations or would you beat them into the ground for their insolence?"
"That's not the same."
"Yes it is. Itachi and Shisui were brothers in everything but blood, and Aimi was a sister to Shisui and more to Itachi. Just like we consider each other brother and sister."
Now she was saying they were just like those two murdering psychopaths? Sasuke let out a snarl and swiped his hand through the air. "Stop talking like you know everything about this!"
"I don't know everything! And that's what pisses me off the most!" she returned, louder and angrier than he was. "I don't know why it happened or how it happened or the identity of the person behind it all! Someone took Shisui from me and I have no idea who it is! To remember him, the bond we had and feel the love he had for me, the pain it causes me…" She gripped her head tighter, nearly covering her right eye with her hand. "I just…I just want…"
The pain laced voice and faraway look consuming her eye went unnoticed by the Uchiha.
Sasuke's temper had too much control over him. He couldn't see straight. Couldn't think. The Curse Mark itched, and its whispers kept rebounding loudly through his brain. If he could only shut them up…
Sasuke's mouth kept moving with a mind of its own. "You keep talking 'pain this' and 'pain that' like you know the true extent of pain I have suffered! I lost everyone I cared about and have lived with it for years! You've barely lived with your memories of Shisui and you can't even recall who your parents were! Don't talk to me about pain, not when you're just a—"
At that moment, Sasuke nearly bit his tongue off as he snapped his mouth shut, the sudden screams of rationality slamming his anger out of the driver seat.
What the hell am I doing? What I was about to say…
He could hardly believe his own mouth, his own traitorous thoughts, and by the look of betrayal on Amari's face she knew exactly what he was about to say, too.
Utter silence fell between them. Deafening silence. Sasuke felt his heart striking slowly, heavily against his chest and nothing else. Nothing except shock and horror over his actions.
This was just like in the hospital with Shikamaru, where his raging emotions made it impossible to think straight, bringing him to say something he still regretted even now. Even more now that his hatred-addled mind dropped him here of all places.
Through the gaps of Amari's fingers he could see her onyx eye staring back at him, the faraway look gone, replaced by hurt and anger raging within.
Like a bolt of lightning, the onyx color burst into red without preamble, the eye once only staring at him now seared right into his soul. A gust of wind pushed against his back at the same time a wave of killing intent brushed up against him. Thick, suffocating. Horror slowly began twisting itself into terror. Chills shot down his spine.
"Go ahead, say it," Amari goaded, her voice low and threatening.
"Amari—"
"Don't back down now. Say it. All of the other Uchiha did, might as well add you to the list of people who look down on me because of my heritage."
"I didn't mean—"
"Say it, Sasuke," she demanded in a quiet, menacing voice. "Finish your sentence. Call me a half-breed. Stoop down low into the pit of bastards who treated me like dirt, just like all the other high and mighty full-blooded Uchiha's I could never be."
It was Amari's turn to take an aggressive step forward, her hand remaining at her eye. Crimson glowed between the gaps of her fingers.
"Tell me how much of a piece of trash I am. Call me worthless. Call me a weak-minded fool with delusions of truth. Or tell me how soft of a heart I have, how it makes me a weakling not worthy of Uchiha blood."
Her eye shifted again, only this time black lines took form as four straight and sharp triangles. The points of the pinwheel jutted out in like a black four-pointed star, centered like the cardinal directions of a compass.
The Mangekyō Sharingan. The sight made Sasuke take a step back as his clan-sister's pure hurt, rage and darkness branded itself onto his soul.
Then, and only then, did he realize why their enemies feared Amari when she lost control. His body refused to respond to his commands, a paralytic shock caused by demonic chakra—invisible to the eye—wrapping, tangling, coiling darkness itself around him. It chilled his core temperature. It made him shudder involuntarily. He could barely breathe. Sweat formed on his brow.
And her eye, her eye wasn't that of a child or a little girl; it was the eye of a merciless shinobi, a demon locked away finally broken free of its cage, prepared to inflict the suffering simmering in her eye onto him. The visage of a demonic dragon took form behind her, it's nostrils flared, barring it's teeth as it snarled hungrily for his flesh.
With the activation of the Mangekyō, he could feel power irradiate off Amari. Dangerous power. Uncontrolled. Volatile. It pricked at his skin, a threat—no, a promise of death.
"Better yet, tell me how I know nothing of the pain you feel!" Amari continued in her rage. "Tell me how my memories of Shisui haven't been around long enough for me to know the depth of pain you have! Or how I can't possibly know your pain because I can't remember my parents!"
Sasuke took another fearful step back, inviting another aggressive step forward from Amari. "You and all the other full-blooded bastards could never see beyond yourselves! You're all so narrow-minded! They probably all wanted to have the Curse of Hatred because then they could all play the victim and be justified for it!"
Another step forward, another step back. "Then at the same time, like the hypocrites you all are, you treat others like dirt! You blame them for your problems. Tell them they're worthless because you think Sharingan and Uchiha blood makes you so damn better than everyone else! What's so special about your blood, huh?! What makes me so different than you?!
"The Clan would be better off without me, the Clan is tainted by weakling blood like mine, the Clan shouldn't have to suffer the sight of a lowly half-breed," Amari growled phrases Sasuke had no doubt were spat at her. The dragon snarled with her.
"Well, you know what I think? I think the Uchiha Clan can go to hell! Every single one of you don't deserve peace in the next life. All of you selfish, narcissistic, simpleminded, self-victimization, ego-maniacal bastards could never see what was most important in life. The Clan this, the Clan that. The Clan doesn't want half-breeds. Half-breeds only lower our status!"
Amari pushed him with her left hand; the force of the blow was nothing special, but with the accented, piercing roar of the dragon, Sasuke lost balance and stumbled several steps back.
"I hope they're all burning! I hope all of the torment they put me and all the other kids just like me through is thrown back on them one hundred fold!"
Where the hell is some of this coming from? He understood his mistakes, but some of her fury wasn't aligning with anything he had said or went to say. It's almost like she relived a memory from her childhood.
The faraway look in her eye flashed back into his memory.
Did my words activate some sort of trigger again?
This wasn't good, especially with the Mangekyō staring him down.
What the hell am I going to do? I can't get through to her. If Master Jiraiya was worried about her Mangekyō Sharingan, what chance do I have?
None was the simple answer. This was the darkness he pushed her into. The demon he'd accidentally awoke from its slumber.
"Hey! Stop, both of you!"
Sasuke spun at Sakura's voice. Salvation? Or more victims? He wished he knew. Wished he could feel more than the permeating darkness seizing his heart and soul in its grim reaper-like grasps.
Sakura and Naruto rushed towards them, their features consumed by worry over whatever part of the argument they had heard.
Amari glanced in the direction of their teammates then pinned her eye back on Sasuke. Slowly, reluctantly, Sasuke met her eyes again and saw the spinning three tomoe Sharingan staring right back at him. The dragon was gone. The Mangekyō, too. But the horror and terror he felt remained.
Amaririsu Yūhi the kunoichi was worth fearing.
Amari's eye widened slightly, not in realization but in instinctive reaction to using genjutsu via Sharingan.
Before he could react or attempt a counter, flashes of memories not belonging to him pelted his senses, paralyzing him in place with a sense of dread he hadn't felt since their first encounter with Orochimaru.
Without speaking another word, Amari disappeared via the Body Flicker. Vanished without a trace.
"Amari!" their teammates shouted in hopes she would stop, but even as his mind recoiled from all the memories Amari imparted on him, Sasuke knew she wouldn't stop.
Despite his original intentions being pure, he still ended up hurting his clan-sister in a way he had hoped to never hurt her.
What the hell have I done?
Review Response to ChillinInKonoha: They've returned to a recovering home and...well, this happened. The clash of clansmen. We'll definitely be seeing Kosuke in the future, so I'm looking forward to that. He was a cool side character, even though his role was so small. Amari has to be careful with that charm of hers, definitely if it continues to end up with her mouth saying things she means to keep private. Otherwise, at this rate, I'm afraid she'll die of embarrassment.
Anything regarding Anbu is still a handful of arcs away, so we'll have to hang on tight for that.
As for time travel, I've seen snippets of the Boruto stuff; I haven't had much time to really watch or look up anything with it, so I'm not completely in tune with what's going on. But, regardless, as for time travel in this story, I've already decided on a few ideas involving time travel, multi-verse, alternate reality sort of arcs for the future, both in Part 1 of Naruto and Shippuden. I can't say what without spoilers, but you can expect it.
Thank you for the review!
Review response to Guest: I can't go into specifics, as I mentioned in the above review, but you can definitely expect time travel, multi-verse and alternate reality sort of arcs in the future. I've always liked the idea of either current Amari going to a possible future, or a future Amari or possible children of Amari's ending up in the current timeline. Also other ideas. In general, time travel, multi-verse and alternate realities are something I find interesting as a subject.
Anyway, thank you for the review!