Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia...Yeah...Need I say more?
Thanks to (I got bored...what'cha expect?): Me, for being crazy enough to think up this idea, my friend Time, for being just so damn optimistic almost all the time(even though I sometimes want to hit her), uh...my parents for having a computer, my half-editor Envy (she avoids me..I wonder why) ((Envy's Edit: You're the one too lazy to send me your work!)), uh, my two best Internet buddies Lilly and Sessy (you guys ROCK!), everyone who reviews! ('specially often, like Anima Sage Kurai, Meowzy-chan, and sashary), and of course, for chocolate, for just being so freakin' good. ((Envy's Edit: Oh, holy chocolate, where would we be without you!))(probably not as crazy)
The Miserable: Symphonia
Chapter 8:
The Suffering
-Mithos' Office, somewhere around Derris-Kharlan, 11:00 P.M.-
"...Yeah...Uh-huh...Gotcha," Kratos said boredly, speaking into a cell phone he'd stolen from a homeless person.
"...Kratos..." Mithos warned, waving his finger threateningly, "Honestly. Yuan, why does he always do this to us?"
Yuan was absent-mindedly picking his nose with his double-bladed sword. "Cha..? You say my name, Yggy?"
"We're supposed to be going through our scrapbooks!" whinned Mithos, jumping up and down.
"Totally..." Kratos nodded, "Yeah, yeah...Right. Love ya. Night!" He turned off the cell phone.
"Oh yeah...Kratos...I was wondering..." Yuan said slowly, "Last chapter you left us with a cliffhanger.."
"LIES! I DO NOT SELL ILLEGAL DRUGS TO SMALL, INNOCENT CHILDREN BY SAYING IT'S THE BEST CANDY IN THE WORLD!" Kratos screamed, shaking Yuan, "Who told you!"
"Who was behind you?" Mithos asked, reading the last chapter.
"...I shan't say," Kratos said defiantly, folding his arms.
"When's your birthday again?" Yuan asked, putting a picture of Kratos wearing a dorky-looking hat into a scrapbook.
"I shan't say!" Kratos said again, shaking his head.
"Do you like being Jean Valjean in the play?" Mithos smiled, dancing with Random Angel #1.
"I shan't say!" he repeated, frowning.
"...So who were you with?"
"...If I told you, I'd have to kill you," Kratos said solemnly.
"Haha, Kratos," they laughed, "No seriously. Who was it?"
"It was..." Kratos started, and they leaned in to listen. He whispered something in their ear, and they gasped.
"No!" they cried, and shut their ears.
"Yeessss..." Kratos said creepily, and started roaring loudly and stomping around the room like a dinosaur.
Pronyma tip-toed in, and walked over to Mithos. "Lord Yggdrasill...We have a problem.."
"What is it now, Pronyma?" Mithos asked, not impatiently.
"Well...the...your tickets for the Russian Ballet...they...they were..." Pronyma frowned.
"What! They were what?" Mithos bellowed, naked panic spread across his face.
"They were all sold out!" Pronyma cried, and started sobbing.
"ROAR!" Kratos bellowed, "KRATOSAUR HAS SPOTTED HIS KILL!" He roared again, pointed his fingers like one would to look sort of like a bull, and charged Pronyma. He slowed down, and barely tapped her.
"AHHH! Lord...Yggdra-...sill..." she said weakly, on the floor and trembling, blood oozing from the finger-horns wounds, "Help...me...Lord...Yggdrasill...it...it hurts...M-...mithos.."
"RAWR! NO ONE EXCEPT MY FORMER COMPANIONS MAY CALL ME BY THAT NAME!" Mithos bellowed, as he gutted Pronyma, making blood spill from her mouth and onto the floor. As every good RPG character, she slowly disappeared, taking her blood and insides with her.
"Boy," Yuan frowned, "If that's how he treats his friends, I'd sure hate to see how he treats his enemies."
There was silence for a few moments, before Kratos looked at him, his fingers still in their 'horns' position. "Um, Yuan...you ARE his enemy.."
"Oh...okay...Wait, what!" Yuan said, alarmed, and Mithos tacklebit him.
"AH! THE PAIN! HELP ME, KRATOS!" Yuan cried, and random organs were tossed about...although strangely, none of them were human...most of them were fish organs.
"Ohhhh...yeeeaaaahhh...I feel GREAT!" Kratos mumbled, eating a Nutragrain bar slowly. "Mithos, I feel GREAT! So that's why I'm quitting the company and going on my own!"
"Good luck..." Mithos said, and continued disecting frogs, fish, and wormies.
"NOOOO! BOB! HE WAS MY ONLY SON!" Yuan cried desperately and Mithos ripped apart an ugly frog.
"Oh yeah...Mithos?" Kratos asked, yawning.
"Yup?" Mithos asked, getting out a Twister board.
"I'm gay," Kratos said blankly.
"WHAT?" Mithos, Yuan, and Random Angel #1 shouted.
"I'm gay," he repeated, and got out a dictionary, "Gay, adjective. Synonyms: Happy, cheerful. "
"Oh," Mithso said, "I'm gay too!"
"EW!" Kratos and Yuan shouted together, "Stay away from us!" They screamed like girls and ran away.
"Some people," Random Angel #1 sighed, and flopped down on the Twister board like a penguin.
-The Tower of Salvation, Tethe'alla and Sylverant, 4:00 PM-
"Welcome, uh...travelers from Tethe'alla/Sylverant!" the Eternal Sword boomed when they all entered. Lloyd and Colette were both garbed in medival dresses, and they both had a basket of flowers. Raine and Zelos were carried in by Santa, who was scolding them and threatening for them to be on his bad list for 7000 years. Kratos rode in in an open-hooded jeep, and Yuan was forced into a collar and tied to the back of it, making him drag along. Regal and Presea flew with their newly aqquired magical powers, and Genis and Sheena were doing the Bunny Hop in.
"Hi, Eternal Sword," they all droned.
"Guess what?" the Eternal Sword said happily.
"All my dreams will come true if I wish upon a star!" Lloyd said hopefully.
"No, loser. All of your lives suck," the Eternal Sword replied simply.
"Well, my work here is done," Santa chuckled, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
"It's the middle of July, Santa," Sheena frowned.
"SHUT UP! BAD LIST FOR YOU!" Santa bellowed, and disappeared.
"So where's Mithos?" Kratos asked after a short silence.
"Mithos is uh..." the Eternal Sword started, before stopping, deep in thought.
"Well?" Yuan asked impatiently.
"Oh yes! He went to Hawaii for the weekend!" the E.S. said happily.
"WHAT!" they all shouted angrily.
"Oh, and I've been put in charge of all of your play preperations!" it exclaimed, "We'll start tomorrow morning! Buh-bye!"
So, everyone else was left wondering what doom now lay ahead of them, and how Kratos got a jeep.
-------End of Chapter Eight--------
A/N: Er...sorry for the shortness of it (I need a life too!) and stuff. ((Envy's Edit: And I'm sorry for my cousin. I keep on tying her up and throwing her into a locked closet, but she somehow finds her way out each time...Also, I'm sorry for any typos that I missed, I wasn't really paying attention while I edited this...))(I got a key forged)