KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!
"For my next trick… I mean, welcome back!" said Kirby.
The audience laughed at the hilarity of it all, then started choking on laughing gas, and rolling on the floor, coughing, and laughing.
"Looks like you're all enjoying the show!" said Kirby, winking.
The audience laughed even harder. Several people lost consciousness.
"My next trick," said Kirby, "is even more exciting than all the others!"
"Really?" said lots of people, unable to discern how this could possibly be so.
"Yep!" said Kirby. "My next trick – drum roll, please…"
The Koopa rolling the drum broke the drum, and instead banged some sticks on a cello.
"…I'm going to make an entire block of the audience… invisible!"
"WOAH!" shouted all the audience in amazement.
"That's amazing!" said a man.
"That's phenomenal!" shouted a woman.
"Sounds awesome!" said a boy.
"Yay! Inwisible!" screamed a girl.
"Woof!" barked a dog (gotta cover all the demographics, right?).
Kirby bowed. "That's right!" he said, "this is the most amazingest trick ever performed! Ever!"
"It's all a sham!" shouted someone.
"What?" said Kirby, looking shocked.
"I said, it's all a hoax! Kirby's not doing real magic at all!" called the voice again.
"Hey!" said Kirby angrily. "That's a lie! A big, ripe, juicy lie… mmm… lies… good with sugar… but a lie nonetheless! Who said that?"
Someone above stage waved a spotlight over the audience, until it shone upon someone waving arms.
"What the-?" said Kirby. It was Ness!
"I've had enough!" said Ness, walking from his seat and up to the stage. The crowd sat in shell-shocked silence.
"What do you mean, Ness?" said Kirby, looking angry.
"I've sat through the rest of this show, and it's atrocious!" said Ness. "Do you really think you can get away with this?"
"Uh… uh…" said Kirby, "er… um… hmm… what on earth are you on about, Ness? Have you gone out of your mind?"
"No," said Ness.
"Uh, oh," said Kirby.
"I know your secret," whispered Ness.
"Uh… please don't tell anyone," whispered Kirby.
"I'm going to tell everyone," whispered Ness.
"Uh… don't I get a chance to bribe you or something?" said Kirby.
"Well…" said Ness, thinking.
"WHAT'S GOING ON?" screamed someone in the audience, in capitals.
"Nothing important!" shouted Kirby, to the audience and the cameras.
The millions or billions of people watching in the audience and on TV waited patiently.
"Okay," said Ness. "You must be making a lot of money from this. Just give me a lot of it, and I'll keep quiet."
"Hey!" said Kirby. "You can't make me do that!"
"Yes, I can," said Ness. "What you're doing is cruel and inhumane, so it should be real expensive! Why do you need the money, anyway?"
"Uh… not for food…" said Kirby.
Ness sighed. "Well, then, I'll just reveal the secret to your 'magic' to everyone, then…"
"Wait!" said Kirby. "Okay, okay, you win."
Looking glum, Kirby walked to the side of the stage, and pulled the 'laughing gas' switch off.
"Give me the money now," said Ness.
"NEVER!" yelled Kirby, pulling off the switch labelled 'Master Switch'.
All the lights plunged out and a few people yelped in fear as everyone in the stadium was plunged into darkness.
A couple of people started looking at star constellations.
"What's going on?" shouted someone.
"I don't know!" shouted someone else.
"No, Kirby! I'm sorry! I'm sorry…!" shouted someone else.
"Ika pi chupik kapichu?" shouted someone else.
The lights all suddenly came back on. Kirby was still there, standing on the stage, smiling at the audience.
"What happened?" shouted Link from the audience.
"Oh," said Kirby, "just a power short. It's all okay now."
"Where's Ness?" asked Falco.
"Uh…" said Kirby, "he… uh… wanted…"
Kirby thought for a moment.
"Ness asked me to," he said finally, "so I sent him back in time to the Renaissance, where he could learn the, uh, Philosophy of, erm, Crayon Drawing."
"You can do-a time travel?" gasped some random idiot wearing an 'I Love Link' T-shirt.
"Of course," said Kirby. "I'm a magician!"
The entire audience and all the viewers around the world all rose in a single, massive standing ovation.
"Yay!" said Kirby.