For all pertinent information see chapter one.

The next few days went by pretty normally. We had a chemistry test that I stayed up all night studying for, and I had a presentation in Spanish to work on. I didn't see much of Eddie or Raven, but I heard from Eddie that Raven was fine, and from the little I DID see of her, she seemed like she was coming along in leaps and bounds. It gave me the peace of mind I needed to concentrate on my assignments.

I was pretty sure I'd passed the chemistry test. It wouldn't have been an A, by any marking standards, but it was at the very least a solid B minus, and I could live with that.

The Spanish presentation was one of the few assignments I'd enjoyed that entire school year. It wasn't a partnered project, which meant I was free to do my own thing, and the only guideline we'd been given was to give a three minute speech in Spanish about the topic of our choice (subject to teacher approval, of course). I'd chosen the environment, and the combination of a language I enjoyed speaking and a subject I was passionate about guaranteed me a good grade. I was hoping for that A!

We gave the presentations on a Friday, last period. The class was small, now. Back in freshman year, there had been a good thirty of us, and that was just in this time slot. There had been another class of thirty in another time slot. As we'd grown to sophomores and then juniors, more and more people had dropped it, and now, senior year, we were left with one class of ten people, the die hard Spanish speakers. There had never been any doubt that I would be one of the Spanish seniors. The only other given had been Lani.

Yes, Lani was still in the class, as I believe I've mentioned before. She usually ignored me. Not in an obnoxious way, just… well, our interactions are usually confined to "Hi," and "Bye," and we barely spoke other than those two things.

Ha, thinking about it, even when we were together, we never used to speak much… But back to the point.

When I got up to give my presentation on that Friday, for the first time in about three months (the time since we'd broken up) I felt her eyes on me, and when I looked at her, she was meeting my gaze steadily, waiting expectantly for me to begin. This from the girl who would have rather looked at a chair than at me. I was surprised, but didn't really think much of it. I just guessed that she'd finally grown up and got over it.

Senorita Rodriguez graded us on the spot. That's one of the many advantages of being in a tiny class! I got the A I'd wanted, and I was glad. It meant my grade point average would stay pretty steady, since my Spanish A would balance out the B minus I was sure to get in Chemistry. I left the room in pretty high spirits. Now that all my assignments were over and done with, I planned to find Raven and Eddie and celebrate. And by celebrate, I meant get disgustingly drunk and go dancing. Good times had by all!

But I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to find Lani standing there. I just gaped, I'm ashamed to say. A bit of the old Chelsea coming through.

I used to be a real dimwit, not by any means the sharpest tool in the shed. Four years of high school has seen me grow up and wise up a bit, but I still have these moments. Eddie and Raven like to call them my Flo moments, after that time when Raven's dad gave us both jobs and I, stupidly, had declared that my "waitress name" was Flo.

So anyway, when I snapped back from my Flo moment, Lani was smiling at me. Wow, I thought, eye contact AND a smile, this must be a special occasion.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," I replied, carefully.

"Look, can we go somewhere and talk?" she asked, which really threw me. Even when we were together, she never wanted to talk. It was all about sneaking around and making out to her, she never wanted it to be anything more, anything serious. I guess it was because of her family. If I'd had her family, I'd have thought twice about being as open with my sexuality as I am now.

I regarded her now, trying to read her expression. The last three months had been kind to her. She'd changed shampoos or something, but I'd never seen her hair so shiny. She was wearing it loose, too, something she never used to do, and every time she'd move I'd get a whiff of something fruity and delicious. It was stupid, and I knew it, but I started wanting to know what that hair would feel like running between my fingers now.

I nodded finally, and we went back into the now deserted Spanish classroom, closing the door behind us. She sat down at her desk, and I sat on the desk in front of her, my feet on the seat.

"So, uh, what'd you wanna talk about?" I asked, moronically. Honestly, sometimes, when I have too many Flo moments too close together, I seriously consider changing my name to Flo permanently. But then I'd miss being called Chelsea. It's going to be my princess name.

"Us," Lani replied matter-of-factly. I raised an eyebrow.

"Us? There is no "us". You made that perfectly clear three months ago. There could have been an "us", but you were too concerned with what everyone would think of you."

"Chelsea, I want there to be an "us" again. I'm sorry, okay? I know I was a jerk. I know I would have dumped me. I'm not surprised you got sick of my shit. I would have too. But you were always much stronger than me when it came to knowing who you were."

"What are you saying, Lani?" Even though it was pretty obvious, I wanted to hear her say it. I needed to hear her say it before I could even consider her proposal.

"I'm saying, I want you back. The last three months without you have sucked beyond the telling of it, Chels. We were good together, when I wasn't obsessing. And I'd like for us to try again. So what do you say?"

What did I say? I had no idea. I honestly had no idea.

"I honestly have no idea." Nice one, Flo. Wanna let Chelsea take over again, please?

"I don't know. It wasn't easy on me, the way you treated me back then. You made me feel… I don't know, dirty, like what we were doing was wrong. It wasn't wrong, Lani, it was just two girls exploring their feelings for each other. The way you acted, like it made us freaks, you really hurt me. So what's changed, why should I let myself in for more of the same treatment?"

She sighed, and got up from her desk, walking closer to me. I shrank back instinctively, but she didn't press the issue. Instead she stood just outside my personal space bubble, looking at me.

"I'm trying to tell you that I've changed, okay? I have. Losing you was the kick in the pants I needed to make me re-evaluate my feelings, and when I finally pulled my head out of my ass, I knew that everything in my life took a backseat to the way I felt about you. My family, the church, school… all of it means nothing without you. And all I'm asking is a second chance. Please?"

"What about your family? I know you say they're not as important, but they're still a part of your life. How do they like the new you?"

She laughed wryly. "Yeah, well, they weren't impressed when I came out to them, and I'm forbidden to tell anyone at church, but they're coming around. Daddy especially has been really great. He always asks when I'm going to bring some nice girl home to meet him."

Now that DID surprise me. Lani's dad was a pillar of the church, one of the Elders and a large contributor to their funds. If anyone had threatened Lani with fire and brimstone, I would have picked it to be him. To hear her say that he was fine with her being a lesbian, well, that was great news for her.

"Chelsea…" she began. I met her eyes and waited. "Chelsea, you're the only girl I'd wanna take home to Daddy. I miss you."

"Lani… I don't know. I'm gonna need some time, okay? Some time to figure out what it is I want." Her face crumpled, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "It's not a no! It's just not a yes, yet. Okay?"

"Okay," she mumbled.

"Look, I have to go, my friends are expecting me," I fudged.

"Yeah, mine too." We got up and headed for the door. Just before she opened it, though, she leaned in and brushed her lips across mine, catching me totally by surprise.

"It could be good," she whispered, before hurrying off.

I met Eddie and Raven by our lockers. They congratulated me on my Spanish grade, but suddenly I wasn't really in the mood for celebrating. Not with company, anyway. I felt more like downing a bottle of vodka myself and wallowing in my thoughts.

It turned out that Raven had "stuff to do" after school, so she went home by herself, and I walked home with Eddie. The whole way to his place, he talked about himself, so even if I'd wanted to unload about Lani, I couldn't have. He was still with Amber, making her the single longest relationship he'd had since "Cookie Lips" back when we were fourteen. But, according to him, he'd cheated on Amber the previous weekend when he went and got drunk without us.

"What?" I exclaimed, surprised. "Eddie, you're a player, that's a given, but you've never CHEATED on anyone before. Have you? What happened?"

"It was like this, Chels. Last weekend you guys stayed home, right? Well, me and the guys from the team went into the city, to this bar called the Reptile Room, and got totally smashed. Anyway, I met this girl Whitney there, and she said she was starting at Bayside soon, she'd transferred because of her mom's job, and was finishing her senior year here…"

"Eddie! I've met her! I know the story behind her showing up at school so get to the cheating!"

"Oh yeah. Right. So see, what had happened was, I got in this competition with Jason, he's the captain…"

"Again, information I already have. Can we get the part I DON'T know?" This story was barely ten minutes old and I was already bored with it.

"Yeah, I'm getting to that. So Jason, and me, we got in this competition, and there were body slammers, and it may or may not have been Whitney's body… and then we chased them with the beers… there were lots of beers… and then there's like a chunk of night missing, and I woke up in a really, really pink room with Whitney all up in my personal space. You feel me?"

"You got drunk and slept with her," I translated. "I'm not impressed, Eddie."

"I know," he said, sheepishly. "I feel real bad about it, too. But the question is, do I tell Amber? Or do I just pretend like it never happened?"

"Well, that depends," I told him. "On whether you care enough about Amber to want her to stick around. I, personally, wouldn't bother with her. But if you do actually want to be with her, then you have to weigh up the options, don't you? You can tell her, and risk her freaking out and dumping you on the spot. And on the off chance she takes it well, it would still be there, sitting like a big old pink elephant in the corner every time you two were together. You know, everyone knows it's there, but no one wants to bring it up?"

"And what's the other option?" he asked, looking like he was hanging off my every word.

"Don't tell her. But then, no matter what, you'll have something to hide from her. And women can sense that. And don't forget, you were out with the whole team that night, Eddie. Chances are, someone on the team knows, and though they might not mean for it to happen, word could still get out. And if Amber finds out, and you haven't told her… well, I wouldn't be in your shoes, man."

"Man. Sounds like I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't," he muttered, kicking at a pebble.

"Pretty much. But this is the price you pay for cheating. So what's it going to be? Honesty? Or the easy road? Because both ways could end badly."

"I don't know, Chelsea. But I do know one thing. I might be a cheater, and I might hide things sometimes, but I am not a liar. If Amber, or anyone for that matter, asks me directly, I'll tell the truth."

"Well, that's a start, I guess," I gave him, stopping outside his front walk. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You know it," he smiled, slapping me five before heading inside.

After that little conversation, I wanted nothing more than to go home, crawl into bed and down the bottle of vodka I'd been keeping under my bed for the next time I wanted to drink it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an alcoholic or anything, but I like to go out and have some alcohol-enhanced fun some weekends. It's all fun and games.

Eddie's little dilemma played on my mind, as did my own dilemma. What was I going to say when I saw Lani next? And what about Raven? If I said yes to Lani, and then found out I had a chance with Raven, what would I do then? But what if I say no to Lani, and still don't have a chance with Raven, so then I'm alone and I've burnt all my bridges?

It was really fucking with my head. I couldn't think of anything to do but go and see Raven. She's quite often pretty good at sorting stuff like this out.

I turned left instead of right and headed to Raven's place, hollering hello and letting myself in. I bounded up the stairs to her room after not receiving a reply, but she wasn't in there either. I knocked in the door to her bathroom and opened the door a crack.

She was in there.

On the floor.

With a razor blade held against her wrist.

"Raven!" I screamed, running to her. I grabbed the blade and tossed it away from her. I vaguely heard it clunk against the base of the toilet. "Raven, baby, what are you doing?"

She was crying again. This time it was silent, with huge tears rolling down her cheeks. I pulled her into my arms, holding her as tight as I could, rocking her back and forth as I whispered soothingly in her ear. I was crying too, by this time, but I wasn't silent. I bawled, really sobbed, at the fright she'd given me. By the looks of her arms, this wasn't the first time she'd done this. And now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen her in short sleeves in forever.

"Rae, please, tell me why you're doing this," I said finally, calming myself down. I pulled away far enough to look her in the eyes.

"I don't know," she mumbled, trying not to meet my gaze.

"Come on, Raven. This is me. Chelsea. I know you, and I know that something is very, very wrong. Please, tell me."

She was quiet for a long moment. I crawled away long enough to get some toilet paper to press against her cuts. They weren't very deep, but there were quite a few of them. Finally, she spoke.

"Last night, Carlos came round."

"What? Did he hurt you? Raven, if he laid so much as a finger on you, I swear, his own parents won't be able to identify him at the morgue…"

"No, Chelsea, it wasn't like that. He was so sweet and gentle, not like himself at all. He said he was miserable without me, and he wanted me back. And I wasn't sure, so I didn't say yes right away, and he didn't even get angry like he normally would! So I let him up… and we had sex."

That did it. I burst into hysterical tears, and now I was being comforted by Raven, instead of the other way around. Though I'm sure she could barely hear herself over the sound of my sobs, she continued anyway.

"It was okay, nothing special. To tell the truth, I was a little disappointed. I've been with him quite a few times, and he can make it better than that. But when he was done, he just rolled off the bed and left, and he didn't even say goodbye or kiss me or even THANK me. He didn't even look at me. He just left. And today at school I was trying so hard to be brave, but on the way to last period he cornered me in the hallway, and said he was just conducting a scientific experiment, and he'd proved his hypothesis correct: that I WAS a lousy lay." Now she was crying again, both of us clinging to each other. "So I came home… and then I… and then you got here."

I didn't reply. I wasn't crying as loudly now, but my eyes were screwed shut, my shoulders heaving with sobs.

"Chelsea, girl, it's okay. I won't cut again, I swear. Chelsea? Please, stop crying!" Not very compelling when she was ordering me to stop crying through her own tears, but she'd missed the point completely.

I wasn't crying because of the danger she'd put herself in, allowing Carlos back in the house. I wasn't even really crying about the cutting anymore, even though that had scared me beyond anything I'd ever seen before.

No, I was crying because once again, Chelsea Daniels loses out to the fists attached to the penis.