DisclaimerEverything belongs to J.K. Rowling.

A Little Bit Self Reckoning- 2

I was going to go to a party with Ron.

Honestly.

But fate played a bad trick on me, tragedy reared his ugly head, now he is most likely somewhere in the castle with Lavender, doing Merlin only knows what, and I am stuck here at the Slughorn's lively party with Cormac. Cormac Mclaggen. I would never believe in a millions years that I would accompany him.

And whatsmore, I'm dancing with him.

This must be a joke. No this must be a dream. How could this happen? Just a couple of weeks ago, something amazing had happened. I, Hermione Granger who had accused Ron for having an emotional range of a teaspoon and for being an insensitive prat, jumped onto the first opportunity I encountered and invited him to a party, without even thinking twice. As soon as I heard that Slughorn organising a party and we were allowed to bring guest, my heart did a little flick. There was only one name on my mind. Ron. Who else?

It wasn't something I had planned beforehand. But it was the best way to ask him out between a date and a friendly gesture. I was intending to ask him while we were alone, on the prefect duties. However, as I started to mention about the impending party in Herbology class, he suddenly got extremely touchy about it. Once he said that I would hook up with McLaggen, getting slightly alarmed, I couldn't help and spilled it out. I had no intention to have Harry as a witness though. But at that moment, it didn't matter. I am a Gryfindorr after all, aren't I?

For a moment, I doubted that he wouldn't get the hint and wouldn't take my word seriously. Anyway, luckily I got the reaction I expected, he immediately agreed in a sheepish voice, looking relieved and content. And then, we started to enjoy our new situation, exchanging furtive glances and awkward smiles. But the next day, he was barking my head off.

There is something wrong about it, I just know. I mean, how can a person change in such a short time? Like an abnormal monster wrapped his body and mind, telling him what to do. I mean, what else can explain his dating with Lavender?

Dating? How could he bring the things up this state? Pathetic.

I feel the tears sting in my eyes, as Cormac drags me backward and forward, in a very unromantic way, with the lovely tunes of the slow music.

Nobody can blame me. It's his entire fault. I don't need to feel troubled. I should enjoy my party. If he didn't choose Lavender as a snogging partner, he would be here down with me, by my side. Nevertheless, he made his decision. I should get over and keep dancing. But why I can't enjoy the party?

Okay, I am just deceiving myself. I feel miserable. I might have a little bit overreacted. Attacking him with the canaries was a bit wild thing to do, I accept. But it was just an impulse of the moment. I went mental, to say the least. However, I've accepted the fact that I've been obvious. I don't think he has been wondering why I acted like that.

How dare he? I mean, its Lavender. It was obvious from the beginning of the year actually. Since the first day, I felt something odd with Lavender's attitude towards Ron. Merlin knows how many times I caught her staring at him. Blinking her eyes, giggling hysterically, nudging Parvati every time she saw Ron in sight. No need to be an expert on feelings, her interest was obvious like daylight.

But why now, I wonder? Why did she decide to love him right now? Okay, I am aware of the fact that he's okay looking. He's grown about a foot over this summer, too. And the event at the Ministry helped somewhat his reputation but what else? She doesn't know him like me. Not at all.

What's so special of her? Just a blonde. Is it because her hair is straighter than mine? Okay, I am thinking silly. I never care those kinds of things.

But the thing is, I've been trying to find a reason. I've been thinking about the possibilities. Well, does he date with her just because she's beautiful? No, this is not possible. He has never been the type fawning over girls. I mean if he did, I would know. Well, Fleur doesn't count. She is part Veela.

'Just because she is interested?' I can't help but snort.

This is not possible, either. Well, I know other younger girls from different houses. I catch them looking at him admiringly. He had never noticed them before. Thankfully.

Why an inner voice telling me that there is something concerning me?

But if it were about me, he would tell me, wouldn't he? Merlin knows how many times I asked him politely what the matter was. But no! He refused to talk to me. I only received cold glares, snorts, and angry mumblings that I could never understand. Harry claims that he doesn't know. I deserve to know. What did I commit? And why is he punishing me with this?

What's he up there with Lavender, I wonder? Probably snogging her face out. Because that's what he has been doing for the last one month. Deliberately, he has been waiting for me to pass the corridor and sticking his lips to hers. Always a coincedence? Doesn't he pity on my nerves?

"Do you remember my last save at the tyouts?" Cormac asks me out of the blue and I jerk slightly, coming out of my reverie.

I give him a forceful smile, trying to look interested. What is this prat talking about? Quidditch quidditch. Fine. He answers his own question now, in detail.

Okay, I regret for coming with him. I wouldn't think he would be that annoying. From the first minute we arrived at the party he's been talking about quidditch nonstop. He's been bragging how a good keeper he is. How come he couldn't beat Ron at the tryouts? Blah blah blah... "That's because I hindered," I restrained myself from scowling.

I can't help but smirk as I remember the tryouts day. When I was sure that there was no chance that Ron could beat him, with a slight panic I secretly grabbed my wand cast the confunding spell.

It was worth to see Ron ecstatic.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

After the things I've done for him. I let out a sad sigh.

It serves me right for coming with Cormac. The expression on his face was priceless. He gaped at me like he didn't believe his eyes. Did my words hurt him? 'I like really good quidditch player.' Well, I shouldn't think about it right know. It was the scheme, wasn't it? It was the most appropriate phrase for the moment. It was worth to see the expression on his face.

But it was supposed to be our party our first party. I had already dreamed our first dance.

"Silly git," I mumble.

Well, it wasn't easy to decide to ask Cormac out for a date, to tell the truth. I almost gave up as he put the wet smile on his face. "Awwk," a big congratulations Hermione. Once I take the issue in my hands, there is nothing I can't do about it. Some challenge girl, eh?

Finally, Cormac decides to give dancing a break. Claiming that he's thristy, he's moving across the room and I helplessly follow him. But he abruptly stops in the middle. I raise my head to see what he's staring at and- what the hell is this?

Mistletoe.

Now he's looking at my face with a stupid expression. "What?" I restrain myself from scolding. I avoid my eyes, trying to act like I haven't seen it. But nudging me on the ribs, he points it out with a broad grin on his face.

As I understand that he is seriously considering that I would kiss him, hastily I excuse for loo and leave him there, under the mitletoe, without looking my back. Muttering to myself angrily, I rush into the crowd, shocked and embarrassed. How dare he thinks to kiss me?

"Hermione!"

I turn my head as I hear someone is calling my name. It's Harry. Thanks to Merlin. I give a sigh of relief. At least, there is someone acquaintance.

Now, Harry starts to scold me for coming to the party with Cormac. He doesn't understand me. He thinks that I should talk to Ron just because he's worried of the next quidditch match. Arggh! Quiddtich again. "Patience Hermione," I soothe myself. There is no way that I could tell Ron that I interefered the tryouts. Does Harry really think I would stop that low?

Yes, I considered Smith. And now, I'm starting to think that he would be a better choice. Well, when I considered the names, I didn't even think if they would agree or not. I just wanted to drive Ron crazy.

Oh, great now I can see that Cormac is looking for me. He is literally a giant so it's impossible not to notice him. Well I can't breath properly. I need to get out of this place. I'm fed up with chasing. If there is no partner, what's the point of staying here?

I should flee.

I promptly say goodbye to Harry. At least, tonight he seems having some fun. For fear that Cormac would see me, I leave the party without further ado. I safely arrive at Gryffindor common room. Without stopping I make my way to the dormatory but a shade in the middle of the room got my attention. On a whim, I turn my head and-

Ron.

My hearts skips a beat. He's staring at me. Trying not to seem surprised, I quickly avoid my eyes. But he's still looking at me. I can feel it. His silence makes my heart ache. I linger a little more just incase he would say something. But, no! He is just standing there, speechless. I want to yell at him for ruining my party. I want to scream at him for leaving me on my own.

But I can't.

I can feel he's studying my dress. What does he think about it, I wonder? Does he like it? Does he know that I chose it carefully just becase we would go together? No, he doesn't know.

The awkward silence is making me uncomfortable. I'm waiting for him to say something. And he's waiting for me to say something. Honestly, is someone going to say something?

I can't take it anymore. I make my way to the stairs. But before I leave, I pause on the third step and glance at him over the shoulders for the last time.

He's looking sad, his eyes on the couch, "Good night," he mumbles.

His voice makes my heart melt. With the tears in my eyes, I sprint to the dorm.

I'm still cross with him.

AN: Reviews are always welcome:)