Molly Weasley was in the living room of the Burrow fussing over her daughter. Though Ginny had sworn she had suffered nothing more than a few scratches, her mother refused to let her out of her sight, and insisted on healing every single cut or bruise on Ginny's person. The news that her youngest son would not be returning home tonight had hit her particularly hard, and to avoid facing the issue head on she was focusing intently on analyzing every injury her daughter had received while tears streamed from her eyes.
Ginny pulled her left arm out of her mother's grasp, when Molly began checking it for scratches the third time. "Mom, I'm fine really!"
"Now Dear," she hiccupped between sobs, "We can't be completely sure. Wouldn't….. want….. something to happen….." and she broke down into tears once more.
Reluctantly and fighting tears of her own, Ginny placed her arm back into her mother's shaking hands. Instead of resuming her fussing, Molly laid her head upon the arm sobbing, "He was only a baby!"
The two embraced letting tears flow freely from their eyes. They would have to stop soon, they would have to be strong for the others when they got back from clearing the field, would have to be strong when they prepared for the funerals, but for now they could cry until their eyes were sore.
Somewhere in the back of Molly's mind it occurred to her that it was somewhat miraculous that out of seven children, she had only lost one. And of course, she was thankful that the rest her children and her husband with nothing more severe than a few broken ribs. The pain of losing her baby boy, however, was just too much. Her youngest son was gone before he even had the chance to really live. He had been of age for a few months. Noting could compare to the grief of losing a child.
For her own part, as daft as Ron could be at times, he was always her closest sibling. She was just a year behind him in school, they played on the Quidditch team together, spent much time together voluntarily, and secretly she enjoyed the looks that he would give to any guy who looked at her suggestively—it made her feel safe to know he was looking out for her. And now he was gone. And so was Harry—but no, she couldn't think about that. Not yet.
Suddenly, a loud knock interrupted their mourning. Molly sat back and whipped her eyes with her apron before straightening up and walking toward the door, wondering what new horrors awaited her on the other side.
To say she was shocked at the sight that lay past her threshold was an understatement. On her front porch stood Severus Snape his arm firmly clasped around the shoulders of one Hermione Granger. Both were looking quite worse for wear, and the young girls eyes were staring straight ahead of her as if she was seeing nothing. Molly had heard about from the boys when they had been home after the fighting that Hermione had refused to leave the sides of Ron and Harry. Since they knew they would return soon to help put the fields at right, they had left her as she had wanted to carry out her lonely vigil. And now here she stood on Molly's front porch leaning on one the one person Molly had personally thought she would never see again. She must have been standing dumbfounded for a moment because a deep voice broke through her shock.
"I know they are taking the injured to Hogwarts if they cannot or do not wish to return home, but it seemed more fitting to bring her here, if that is alright?"
"Yes of course," Molly began nodding and waving them in making room for them to get through the small hallway. "Let me go make up a bed. Ginny!" she called grateful for this newest distraction, "Go get the spare bed clothes from the upstairs closet, we have a guest tonight."
As Molly began preparing a place for Hermione, Severus guided her into the kitchen and turned on the sink. He ran a cloth under the faucet and began to wipe the blood from her face still unsure of what or why he was doing this. The girl whimpered as the cold cloth touched her skin. "It's alright Hermione, you're going to be okay now."
Insider her own mind, Hermione wondered if she would ever really be "okay" again. Nothing was right anymore, the whole world had been flipped on it head and she felt as if she had been thrown from an airplane without a parachute. As she drew in a long breath she became aware of the shaking in her chest. And apparently it was evident in the sound of her breathing for Snape looked deeply into her eyes and told her firmly, "You will," and then softer. "Trust me."
Whether it was a statement, a request, or a question, neither really knew, but as they stood their locking eyes, Hermione gave the only response she could think of, a small nod. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly as he tried to give her a reassuring look. No, it wasn't a smile, but it was probably the closest he had come to one in more than a decade.
When Molly returned to the kitchen, she took in the sight before her thinking that war sure did strange things to people.
"Come dear, lets get you into a nice warm bath." Hermione allowed herself to be pulled away from Severus knowing that a bath sounded quite good, and that it was not right for him to follow, but as she left her eyes lingered on his until she could see them no more. When they got upstairs, and Hermione still had yet to move on her own, it became apparent that Molly would have to help with the bath. She and Ginny helped Hermione out of her clothing and into the small pool of water and Molly began fussing to wash the blood out of her hair while Ginny talked to Hermione trying to reassure her. The older girl never responded, just sat there with her eyes fixed upon her knees.
When Hermione was finally clean, they took her to the bed they had made for her, dressed her, and tended to her wounds. "You will feel better after a good night of sleep," Molly had told her. For some reason Hermione just didn't believe her. Once the other two women had left her alone, Hermione looked down at the small wooden ring that was on her finger and she could still hear his voice as he slid it on her finger.
"It's only temporary, until I can buy you a real one, but I just couldn't ….. I wanted to know before everything happens that we will be together when it's all over. There wasn't time to get a ring, but I will go once everything calms down, I promise."
Hermione had shaken her head saying, "No, it is the most beautiful ring I have ever had! It is much nicer having you make me a ring; you don't have to get me a fancy one."
Ron had smiled as he pulled her toward him kissing her passionately. They had not yet told anyone of their intentions, thinking that the news would be better received once the fighting was done.
Well, now it was over and she was alone again. First her parents had been taken, then her love, and now even the family she had adopted in adolescence was a painful reminder of what she had lost. She had nothing but the wand. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes as she looked at the small ring made with love and took it reluctantly off of her finger. Reaching behind her neck, she fashioned it onto the necklace and watched as the ring slid down the chord and fell under her nightdress. She would wear it here above her heart always. Tears soaked her pillow as she cried herself to sleep.
Severus had barely moved from his spot by the sink as he stood trying to figure out what exactly he was doing. He had seen the pain in her eyes, and it had affected him more than he had thought possible. Hermione was safe now, among friends; maybe he should leave now while he still could. Then why was he still standing there, gripping the edge of the counter as if his life depended on it?
Quickly, be rational, he advised himself. He had nothing, no where to go since his home had been ransacked and destroyed when his betrayal to the Dark Lord had become apparent, though much to late to stop his downfall. There were many who would call him an ally but none who would call him a friend. Some money was left in his account, he could probably buy a new house, but to live he would need a job, another thing he no longer had. Knowing the world would not be nearly as forgiving as the Order, he would be hard pressed to find employment anywhere.
And there was still the question of Hermione. Well, what question was that really? She would wake up tomorrow, and the world would gradually put itself right again. But could he know that for sure? Would she be okay if he left her? After all, he had promised her she would be. Damned that girl with her bewitching eyes!
When Molly entered the kitchen, he was no closer to finding an answer than he was to begin with. Her presence startled him from his thoughts and he jumped slightly, the night's events had unnerved him. "The girl is she alright?"
Molly shook her head and looked at her hands that were clasped in front of her. "I….. I don't know. We healed her wounds and cleaned her up, but she won't speak. She's practically catatonic." Her voice cut off in a whisper and Severus ran a hand over his face annoyed that she did not seem well and that he actually cared. Molly continued. "She will be fine for the night, but I think….. I think maybe a professional should look her over to make sure there is no lasting damage."
Severus nodded, a collection of healers had gathered at Hogwarts, she would need to go there. Voicing this to Molly, she agreed. They would wait and see if she seemed better in the daylight, and if not, take her to Hogwarts.
"Severus," Molly's kind old voice brought Severus out of his thoughts again, "You have done much for Hermione tonight, and she has been like a daughter to me. Thank you."
He nodded still uncertain of everything that was going on.
"Why don't you stay here with us tonight?"
He was shocked. Molly had always offered him dinner and a place to stay in the past, but that was before….. before the incident. He had not hoped for such kindness tonight, and would find it much harder to refuse the offer being that there was really no place else for him to go. Opening his mouth to object, Molly cut in.
"You cannot refuse, I know what happened. There is nowhere else for you to go. I will make up a bed for you tonight. If our hospitality is that offensive to you still in the morning, then you can go whenever you please, but tonight it is late, and we are all out of sorts." She turned to leave and he called out to her.
"It's not that…… it was never that. I….. I don't deserve….. such kindness."
Molly smiled at him knowingly and departed from the room.
It seemed that everyone slept a little late the next morning. When Severus finally descended the stairs, Only Molly and Arthur were sitting together at the table. Joining them, Severus was offered coffee, which he accepted, and the spent the morning talking of the past few nights as if trying to make them more manageable. Throughout the morning, more people came down the stairs, though the Weasley children glanced at Severus more suspiciously than their parents had. He knew he had never been a favorite among the children and that most probably still did not trust him.
It was odd to be around a family. To see the way they worked together even through their grief. Watching them as they attempted to put the past behind them and get back to normal. Tears occasionally graced the red cheeks of the family, but for the most part, they kept their emotions at bay.
When Hermione still had not emerged from the small room by one o'clock, Mrs. Weasley sent Ginny to fetch the other girl. For some reason, the rest of the room fell into an awkward silence, as if the slightest noise would bring the house to collapse. They were walking on eggshells, and every moment that the two girls stayed upstairs was another moment of pained silence. Severus had just begun thinking to himself that the two were probably gossiping and chatting as young girls often do making them late for everything, when he thought he heard shouting. Another second told him that he did indeed hear shouting and he, Molly, and Arthur were bounding up the stairs toward the sound.
A lump found its way into his throat as he stared into the small room Hermione occupied. The girl was lying on her side curled up, eyes staring listlessly ahead as if seeing nothing. The young redhead was kneeling over her friend shaking her while tears poured down her face, "Please Mione! Please get up!"
Molly was the first to move, walking over and putting an arm around her daughter's shoulders leading the smaller girl from the room. Tears were coming to Molly's eyes as well, it was bad enough to lose Ron, but to see Hermione slipping slowly away from them too, it brought back fresh memories of everything. Arthur went to try his hand at getting Hermione to move, but his attempt also proved vain.
Severus was sure that if her friends could not arouse her, than there was no way that he could, but he had to try, he had promised. So he found himself walking to the bead with uneasy steps—the walk felt far to long to be crossing a small room—and when he finally got there, he knelt down by the edge of the bed.
"Hermione," he said softly and to his surprise, she blinked before her eyes fixed on him. Arthur gasped beside him, relieved that the girl was coming to. Swallowing to relieve the dryness that suddenly had filled his throat and mouth, Severus continued speaking, "Hermione, we need you to get up so we can take you to make sure you are okay. We need to take you to a doctor. I need you to get up."
Hermione sat still for a moment before making what looked like a slight nod, and sitting up. Molly returned to the room in time to see Severus helping Hermione to stand and Arthur muttering "Well, I….." under his breath.
Severus looked at his host and spoke, "Thank you very much for you hospitality, but I am afraid, we will have to cut this visit short. Hermione needs medical attention right away, incase there is anything we might have missed that is affecting her so."
Molly was almost speechless as she watched Hermione's bare feet shuffle underneath the hem of her nightdress as Severus helped her across the floor. When the two finally made it outside and aparated away, Molly and her husband were standing on the porch wondering what had come over both Hermione and Snape. Molly sighed hoping that Hermione would be well soon, and for the sake of the wizarding world at large whatever had possessed Severus to act in such a way stayed there.
When Hermione saw where they had aparated to, she sunk causing her to lean further into Severus. She didn't want to be here any more than she wanted to be at the Burrow, there were too many memories. As she looked up into the main entrance of Hogwarts, she could see herself, Harry, Ron, Neville, and all the others walking toward the same door as a nervous but excited first year. How different everything was back then, how simple. If she could only go back to that time….. Her chest heaved suddenly, and she felt Severus's arm tighten around her giving her the strength to move forward. She couldn't say why, but his presence—so strong and determined—was comforting and she felt almost safe. It wasn't like being around Molly and Ginny where she felt like crying every time she looked at them.
Once inside the old castle, Severus immediately noticed the commotion in the Great Hall, it appeared that it had been converted to a larger version of the hospital wing he had seen so many times throughout the years. Madam Pomphrey was only one of many healers that were dashing back and forth between beds. A call from the right of them alerted Severus and Hermione to the presence of Minerva who came dashing over to meet them.
The old witch began speaking, but Severus heard nothing, because the girl in his arms had started trembling, the hospital having overwhelmed her.
Cutting the witch off he said gruffly, "Minerva please, the girl!"
Only then did Minerva seem to take in Hermione's disheveled appearance and frightened eyes.
"Take her into the hall way," she said to Severus, and shouted into the room, "Poppy come quick!"
Hermione turned her head to avoid looking at those around her, she could practically smell death in the room, and it brought fresh memories of the battle to her. She felt like retching, but she couldn't her body didn't respond.
Finally outside, Minerva conjured a bed for Hermione to sit on and wait for the Mediwitch. As Madam Pomphrey checked Hermione over, Severus informed Minerva of every thing that had happened since the battle, how he had found Hermione, and their stay at the Weasleys. Minerva was holding a hand over her mouth muttering "Poor girl," tears flowing from her eyes.
"Severus, come here."
"What Poppy?"
"I want to see Hermione walk on her own, would you please ask her to do that for me?" The Mediwitch looked at him strangely, and Severus felt as if he were being examined himself.
"Ask her yourself!" he said impatiently.
Poppy's reply was soft, "I did, she didn't move."
Minerva walkover saying something that sounded like "Balderdash" and began speaking to the girl, "Hermione, don't make this difficult for Madam Pomphrey, she is trying to help." When the girl did not even acknowledge the older witch, she was taken aback, "Hermione? Hermione!"
Softly, Severus said, "Hermione," and the girl's head turned and she focused on him. He reached a hand out saying, "Madam Pomphrey would like to see you walk."
Taking his hand, Hermione did her best to stand up unassisted, which was not too good altogether, but she managed. She started walking but did not let go of Severus's hand.
Both women watched as Hermione took a few wobbly steps, her white nightgown flowing around her, before collapsing into Severus. Her hands were clasping onto his robes and her head rested on them hiding their trembling from the older women. Feeling sorry for the girl, Severus picked her up easily and sat her on the bed.
Poppy nodded her head, and called Severus and Minerva away to explain Hermione's condition. "Hermione, it would seem, is in a state of shock. Having lost so much that was so close to her, has affected her emotionally. She has no physical maladies to speak of, but her condition is affecting simple tasks she could easily accomplish before, like walking unassisted."
"But why does she only listen to Severus?" Minerva butted in.
"I was getting to that," the Mediwitch said softly looking at her knotted hands, "This is just a guess, but I think subconsciously, Hermione is blocking out people who she had an attachment for before the war. Severus to her, is someone both known and yet foreign. Considering her character as a student, I doubt that she would have felt very negatively about Severus having had him as a Professor, which to her would demand respect regardless of the professor's behavior," Severus harrumphed at that, "but she never formed an attachment for him as he was never more than a professor to her. In any case, she remembers that she trusts him from her past, but she does not remember having any semblance of a bond with him. Though it seems now this is the only attachment she is capable of." It was a shambled theory, but the basics made sense, Hermione had never had any fond memories of Professor Snape but she did trust him, she blocked the other's out because they brought back good memories for her—memories that had been ripped away by the war, and now when it was over Severus triggered no painful memories, but he was still someone she knew to trust. He sighed.
"But what does it all mean?" he asked irritated.
"It means," Madam Pomphrey began, "That we would like to see you as primary care taker for Hermione until she is once more of a sound mind."
"What!" Yes, he had wanted to protect Hermione, but he had never thought he might be solely responsible for her wellbeing. He had never had children, and he knew nothing about young women and what they might need. It was one thing to make sure nothing bad happened to her, but it was another to take care of her. "How am I supposed to take care of the girl, I don't even had a place to live at the moment."
"Well, neither does she!" Poppy cut in, "and without your protection, she will wind up in St. Mungo's without the attention she needs and she might never recover!" as he looked at the glassy tear filled look in his eyes, he began to understand something. Miss Granger had not only affected him, but many people. She was one of a kind, and having been so kind as a child, she had affected many and many loved her as they watched her grow. They too suffered from seeing her this way, a brilliant mind trapped in suffering. Poppy's soft voice brought him out of his thoughts, "If she only responds to you, without you there is no hope of her getting better. At St. Mungo's they will not be able to get her to respond, and she will spend the rest of her life in their ward for incurables. Though, they will make her comfortable, so she will live a long life in this state. This suffering state."
The lump was back in Severus's throat, as he realized that her recovery depended on him. The responsibility was huge. He wasn't used to having to care for others; he had spent most of his life worrying only about himself—he liked his time and space to himself. To take her in, he would be making sacrifices, ones that he had never been prepared to make for another being before. He had never even had a pet. But as he looked into those eyes, he could see her brilliance hiding behind her sorrow, and he knew that there really was no choice. "I'll do it," and he immediately wondered if this was something he was going to regret later.
Both women smiled and Poppy not excitedly began talking about Hermione's treatment. "You should make her as comfortable as possible, and be certain she eats about three times a day, she might not be hungry, but she needs to eat, and sleep well too. And you should talk to here, even though she might not respond. And where will you stay? Well, I think if you could find someplace out of the country….."
"Madam where do you expect me to find a place outside of England?" He was growing tired of her speech, did she even breathe between sentences? Also, hearing his countless responsibilities made him uneasy.
Minerva who had looked thoughtful for a while finally spoke, "My family owns a villa in the south of Italy. It is small, but it has a small library. I know she'll like that. It is in a remote area so there won't be a lot of neighbors. It will also be warm, and nothing like England. Yes, it will do quite nicely."
The three talked for a while about the various plans, Severus and Hermione were to leave that evening. Severus was relieved to hear that there was a house elf at the villa who remained there year round to maintain the place. She had seen many girls Hermione's age as Minerva's family was famous for having girls and the elf would be able to advise Severus if there was something the girl needed. He also agreed to correspond by owl with Poppy to inform her of Hermione's condition and receive advice should he need it. Minerva took Hermione's measurements and said she would send over some new clothes for the girl. After about an hour of preparations, they were finally ready to be on their way.
They ate one last meal at Hogwarts, which took longer than most because Severus had to continually coax Hermione to eat something, before leaving. As they stood outside ready to aparate, Severus wondered to himself—for what would be neither the first nor last time—if he were crazy.
SSSSSSSS
Hope you enjoyed it, I know it was a bit more introduction, but I needed to set things up properly without being vague. Next chappy up in a few days. Sorry if it seems like not much happened in this chapter, but I needed it to set up for the rest of the story. Things start to pick up quickly from here, I have big plans for this one.
Let me also say, that I got the idea to write this fic, while driving home from work at night, listening to an old Kenny Loggin CD. The song The Last Unicorn came on and I had the image that I tried to create in the first chapter. Severus looks among the bloody remains of the final battle and sees one shining thing in the mist of the destruction. (hey, I'ma use that in my summary.) She is suffering as much as he is. I initially intended it to be a one-shot when a billion more ideas hit me. (which is why I needed an additional set-up chapter). The name of the fic will play into it later as well.
I wanted to thank kriitikko, just another great Gatsby, and Mandi6a6i for their reviews and their support! You made me very happy! I am glad you liked it!