His breathing became rapid as he stared at the offending piece of parchment imagining burning holes in it with his mind. It disappeared with a flash of flames as Severus let his emotions get the best of him. With the paper out of sight he began to slow his breath and gather his thoughts.
Who would send this? Certainly he had made many enemies during his past, but this was certainly not their style. His enemies were the hit-and-run type, or the kind that pretended to be friends until the opportune moment. Still it must have been someone from his past….. right?
Panic filled him, and his eyes went large, as he realized that not having been addressed, the letter could have just as easily been for Hermione. His feet flew on wings he never knew they had as he ran out the back door and down to the pond. Palpitations accosted his chest as he could not see the girl anywhere. What if he was too late?
When he neared the pond, he found her and a wave of relief passed over him. It would not have been good if the girl was attacked and murdered on his watch, Minerva would kill him.
Hermione was laying on her belly in the tall grass, making her not so visible to the panicking potions master. Watching the girl he chided himself for getting so out of control. In a real emergency, he would not have been much good if he reacted as he had. Though, he must have been a great deal stealthier than assumed, for he had not disrupted the girl's study of a nearby squirrel. He allowed a moment to watch her wondering what was going through her mind as she stared so intently at the small creature.
It became clear to him now, how selfish this decision had been. Had he been Minerva or Poppy, he would have taken the girl here out of an undying love for Hermione. He himself, realized that he liked being needed. Being the only one to get through to her made him feel important after his former positions had been removed. Without him, she was helpless, and he knew it secretly relishing in the thought.
Feeling the eyes on the back of her head, Hermione turned to look up at Snape and smiled. The look in her eyes made him feel almost guilty, they were so trusting and honest. Living here was like living in a dream compared to the pain she had felt in England, and having been the one to bring her here he must have seemed like some sort of hero to her, her rescuer. Some hero he was, he would probably have left her on the battlefield had she not piqued his curiosity and suited his interests.
He was selfish where she was selfless, maybe that was why this tormented her in was it never had him. He had made sacrifices, but she had sacrificed herself—she had thrown herself head on into the cause, while he attempted to manipulate himself out of it.
Severus Snape was no hero, just someone who looked out for his own interests. He had saved some, murdered others, and now that it was all done, he was looking for peace in the one person who needed to find peace herself. Perhaps helping her made him feel like not such a bad person, perhaps he just liked the way she looked at him as she was now. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he allowed himself a return gesture to Hermione before helping her up, wondering if he was the right person to be here helping Hermione.
He had overreacted to the letter he received, overreacted in a way that could have gotten he or Hermione killed. It seemed that a couple weeks of absolute calm had left him inept. Whoever wrote that letter was not attempting to reach out and strike him, they were inviting him to play a familiar game of cat and mouse, and Severus had stupidly run for the cheese. If the culprit had merely wanted to harm either of them, it would have been done by now; instead, he was baiting them, wishing to throw them off guard so that they would be frightened and unprepared when he attacked. Why else would he announce his presence? Or hers if the case was so. The trick was simple, and Severus would not fall victim to it in the last hour. The first thing to do, was to heighten the wards around the house, and try to figure out who their enemy was and what they would likely do next.
Severus was quiet and thoughtful throughout dinner, and more than once, Hermione nudged him with her foot to make him return from his thoughts. No, he would not tell Hermione about the incident. She was in no state to handle such news.
After dinner, Severus read Ginny's letter to Hermione. It was the part of their day when the delusion of being detached from war disappeared. The letters often lead to Hermione's episodes, but Severus had consulted Madam Pomphrey on the issue. They did not think it prudent to allow Hermione to entirely forget her past, being that she needed to learn how to cope with it. At the completion of the letter, tears were sliding gracefully down Hermione's cheeks though nothing remotely sad had been written in the letter at all.
Snape looked at Hermione allowing her a moment before asking if it were time for bed. She nodded in consent as she brought a shaky hand up to brush away the tears. Caught in the moment, Severus cupped her face in his hands brushing away her tears with his thumbs. They shared a gaze for a moment before Severus picked her up and carried her off to bed.
Days pressed on without further incident from the mysterious letter sender, and Severus allowed himself to relax slightly. He even allowed himself a jubilant expression when he returned from the loo one morning to find the Hermione had gotten off the couch, walked to the bookshelf, and picked out book on her own. She seemed very pleased with herself and Severus found it only proper to encourage such behavior. The task had worn the girl out, but it was the first step in improving her motor skills.
Once the news had been delivered to Madam Pomphrey, Severus received from her a list of exorcises that they out to be doing regularly. So, feeling a bit odd, he had begun to practice walking with Hermione outside every afternoon. It provided a perfect excuse not to leave her alone outside anymore, though it meant that Dipsy had to prepare dinner. When he explained it to Hermione it seemed as if she tried to express that Dipsy was a better cook anyways, which made him scowl—almost as much as the fact that he was beginning to understand her easily without using words.
Even though he enjoyed cooking, as of late, he was finding himself in less need of relaxation and distraction than he previously had been. Their work had been progressing well, and Hermione's outbursts had quelled to once maybe twice a week in the short time they had been there.
It was quite a shock on night when he was pulled from his sleep from a loud crash in the hallway. A storm outside made audition a bit of a chore, and not certain what it was that had woke him, he listened closely for a hint. A second after the crash, he became aware of crying and faint screams, and ran out into the hall to see what was the matter.
Something wrenched inside him as he saw Hermione writhing on the floor illuminated for a few seconds by the flashing lightening. The storm must have wakened her, and when she tried to get to him, had taken a bad fall. Rushing toward her he crouched down helping her to her knees. Their eyes met, and in an instant he was pulled into Hermione's mind.
It was dark and loud. Noise came from every angle in all directions, making her want to scream just to drown out the sound. Streaks of color flew through the air blurring her vision. Some hit her, others, stemmed from her wand seemingly of their own accord. She could see nothing but the colors flying around her in every way, couldn't hear where her attackers were. There was laughter in the background, sick laughter mocking her as she turned around to face her enemy who could never be seen. Frustrated, scared, and alone, she shot cursed into empty air hoping to hit something, but they never seemed to connect. The laughter moved around, circling her, confusing her. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe. A spell hit her in the back, she fell shaking to her knees. The laughter went on, louder, stronger. She felt weaker. It hurt. Pain. Someone screamed. Green light shot from her wand and the laughter stopped. She fell forward further, retching, the battle raged on behind her, spells cracking through the air.
Severus pulled back, seeing the fear and pain in her eyes. The storm, with it flashing lights and loud cracks had brought her back there, the final battle. White light filled the room, and another thunder busts shook the walls—Hermione practically dove into his lap hiding.
He scooped her up carrying her to the small room he had been staying in and put her on the bed. She threw herself at the pillows as another crack filled the room. Severus put a muffling spell around the room to drown out the sound of the thunder, while the lightening hardly made it past the thick curtains he had transfigured liking to sleep in the complete darkness.
She was still shaking on the bed, and he sat down beside her rubbing her back to calm her a bit. He pulled her up straighter and placed a hand under her chin to bring her eyes up to meet his. Once more, he entered her mind, though this time voluntarily. Immediately he was pulled into the seen of the final battle once more.
Hermione had fallen forward on her hands, but the noise around her began to soften as a light came up over field, and the grass grew around her hands and knees. The large fielded seemed to shrink, a small house appearing in the background, and a squirrel darted in front of her, as she settled down to watch the busy movements of the squirrel as he gathered nuts.
He had pulled the image to the front of Hermione's mind, and felt her relax as she remembered the squirrel and not the Death Eaters. When he left her mind it she seemed to be caught in a pleasant daydream for a moment before coming to. Looking at him for understanding, he said, "Forgive me for intruding but you pulled me in the first time. You were in such a state, that I wanted to calm you immediately, any other way might have left you thrashing for hours."
She nodded slightly before fixing her gaze on the bedspread in front of her. When tears fell from her eyes, he guessed at her thoughts, and tilted her face up to look at him once more, her eyes were full of shame. "You did what you had to do. If you didn't, you probably wouldn't be here now."
The girl gave a small nod, pressing her cheek into his large palm, but more tears fell from her eyes. Her shoulders shook a couple of times before she buried her head into Severus's chest. A few moments, and a few hiccoughs later, Hermione looked up at him again.
She was struggling with it, what she had done. It was hard to accept, had been in the heat of the moment, but it had to be done. He could see the battle waging behind her eyes and he told her she had done nothing wrong. Nodding again, no tears fell this time.
Her uneasiness was still apparent, and he asked her before he really thought about it, "Would you like to stay here tonight?"
A visible wave of relief passed over Hermione's features as she nodded once more, and gave him a hint of a smile. She reached for the covers and situated herself beneath them before snuggling up to his chest.
An arched eyebrow questioned her presumptions, but was met with her large pleading eyes, and he couldn't deny her. Getting comfortable took a matter of minutes, as he had never shared his bed with another body, and certainly never cuddled like this. Finally they settled down with Severus laying on his back, and Hermione facing him on her side settled into the crook of his arm, her own arm laying across his chest.
His steady breathing helped settle her into sleep, and she drifted off easily, thoughts of the warm yard in her head. It took Severus a good deal longer to fall asleep, having to get used to the weight on his shoulder. He watched her small hand rising and falling with his chest as he drifted off to sleep alternating thoughts of "What have I gotten myself into?" and "This isn't so bad," floating through his head.
It was Hermione who woke up first in the morning, surprised to find that she had rolled onto her other side, and Severus had rolled the same way and was holding her around the waist while her back was held firmly against him. The room was warm and the sheets were comfortable and she felt…..safe. Her eyes began to droop as she snuggled further into the pillows.
The shift in her positioning roused Severus himself into waking. As he tottered in the strange moment between sleep and consciousness, he wondered about the warm soft thing in his arms. Fully conscious now, he suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He lifted his head just a bit to peer at the girl in his arms who was asleep with a lazy half smile on her face. When he tried to pull his arm back, Hermione's sleeping form protested snuggling closer into his body, her hair further covering his face. He fought her hair the best he could with both arms trapped around the sleeping girl. Once he no longer had to worry about suffocation, he attempted to wake her.
He received a few moans of protest before she turned to face him, his arms still pinned beneath her. For a moment their eyes locked and the intensity of the gaze made his stomach flop, which he was sure Hermione could probably feel being that his stomach was practically lying on top of her own.
She shimmied out from underneath him, and made her way to the bathroom, leaving Severus to ponder the fact that she looked much more rested than she had in the rest of their time at the villa. Of course, he had no way of knowing that this was the first night that nightmares had not constantly interrupted her sleep. During their exorcise session that day, she proved much stronger than she had been every other day, the rest having done her much good.
It began the first of many nights, where Severus would go to sleep alone in his bed, and wake up with a Hermione somehow entangled with him. He would always protest in the morning, but sure enough she would be back the following night clinging to him for solace during the night. She usually waited a bit, so that he'd already be asleep, and would sneak down the hallway and crawl into bed allowing the warmth to keep her safe, throughout the night. Severus wondered, as his morning protest became more routine and less heart felt, what exactly was happening but the warmth in his bed provided him with additional rest as well. Grudgingly, or not, he had come to accept the small forlorn girl with her strange sleeping habits.
It had been a week since Hermione had begun sneaking around in the nighttime, and already she was walking almost entirely on her own. She walked easily in the morning, her strength failing her in the late afternoon forcing Severus to carry her around, but it always seemed she had enough strength at night to sneak down the hallway and into his room. Severus watched as she became much more animated as well, though she had still not begun to speak. Poppy suspected that this would be the last thing that she would probably do, and Severus had no reason to suspect otherwise.
They were sitting in their usual position on the sofa, Severus reading the regular letter from Ginny, "….. and there is something that I really would like to confide in you, but I don't want to risk writing in the letter. Do you think you could convince Professor Snape to allow you to come visit the Burrow sometime soon? That is if you are up to it. Oh I do miss you, especially now when I am in most need of a friend. Love always, Ginny."
Hermione sat with a strange expression on her face, contemplating the last bit of the letter. Ginny needed her, and while she had no desire to return to England, she would feel guilty leaving her friend alone when she needed someone. Then again, she had no idea what seeing Ginny would do to her. Well, she had gotten much stronger hadn't she? She could handle seeing one Weasley, especially since she had become used to hearing from Ginny.
Allowing Hermione a moment to consider, Severus looked at her asking, "Well how about it old girl, are you ready for a trip to England?"
With a deep breath, Hermione shook her head. But in a moment she perked up, pointing to the letter spinning her hands and pointing to herself.
"You would like Ginny to come to you?" She nodded enthusiastically. With a heavy sigh, Severus grudgingly agreed and took up a quill and scrawled across it hurriedly.
Miss Weasley,
As Miss Granger is not yet up to writing her own correspondence, I am writing to inform you of her wishes. Miss Granger, regretfully, does not feel up to attending you in England but would like to extend her invitation for you to visit us here this Saturday. If this is agreeable with you let us know.
Professor SnapeHer reply arrived at the usual time the following day.
Professor,
Tell Mione of course I'll come! I'll try to get there early so that we can have the whole day together. (I assume you'd like to be rid of me as soon as possible, right?) Well, Saturday morning it is then. Give my love to Mione!
Ginny
"Well, 'Mione,'" he began, "It seems as if you friend has accepted you invitation and will be here on Saturday morning."
Hermione looked pleased as Severus shuffled through the rest of the mail, wondering how Poppy would feel about the visit of the youngest Weasley when a single piece of parchment confronted in a familiar red writing.
You'll pay for what you've done!His eyes narrowed at the piece of paper before him, perhaps the arrival of Hermione's obnoxious friend would prove useful after all. He grabbed his quill and some parchment quickly scribbling to note, one to Ginny and the other to Minerva.
SSSSSSSSSSS
Just so you know, my opinion of Severus is much higher than his own, as yes I adore him. But please do not flame me asking how I could say Severus was not a hero, or something of the likes. Could you honestly see Severus calling himself a hero, because I can't. In any case, he wouldn't in this story, he is portraying the idea of a "hero" in a very stock term as a selfless person who fights for the good of men, Severus fights to stay alive, and to pay for his pasts sins.
Wow! So I thought I had posted this chapter already, apparently I didn't. I have been writing the next chapter which is much longer than this one. I contemplated putting the two together, but then I wanted to post and the next chapter seems to keep growing. But no work tomorrow! Which means I can stay up late/write all I want tomorrow. I thought I'd get this out faster, but alas, I live with a nine year old who consumes most of my time (a little brother who misses me while I am away during the school year).
Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It means a lot to me. Sorry that this chapter is so short, but I will make up for it next chapter which is nearly twice the length and twice the plot movement! Kay, Love you guys!