15 Ways to Annoy the hell out of James Potter

By : GoddessGirl123

Chapter Two : The First Tip

Lily quickly dashed to her seat in history of magic just before the late bell rang. Of course, she wasn't too worried of being late for history of magic, but she was never late for any class, so why start now? Lily took her seat next to Anne-Marie, who was looking slightly annoyed (probably because she saw Tara in the halls or something). Suddenly, something hit her in the back of the head. She turned sharply to see James sitting there, twiddling his fingers. Lily glared, but turned around to face front just the same. Professor Binns continued to converse with the white board.

"God, 'e's going nuts, not to long before 'e's knocked off 'ees rocker..." Anne-Marie whispered. I ignored the fact she didn't use the phrase correctly, she never used any English phrase she heard right. So I just nodded but growled slightly as another larger piece of grey parchment hit her in the head. "Oh, he's going to pay for this." Lily thought angrily as she reached into her bag, pulling out the book Tara had given her. Opening the stiff pages, she began to read chapter one.

How to Annoy- The Art of Annoying

If you are seeking the knowledge to annoy anyone – fellow classmates, bosses, coworkers, parents, teachers, friends – then you have opened the right book. If you think other wise, you should this book down immediately. If you don't care either way, please continue to read these pages and enjoy these words I have written.

For a first tip or idea to get these people annoyed, who ever it may be, you should every time they say your name, be it Billy, Jake, Hannah, or Jaxen-Waxen-Heimer, you should always moo. Instead of saying 'yes?' or 'what?' or 'shut up, I'm watching the telly!' just say 'mooooo!' In a matter of minutes, who ever you're trying to annoy will become infuriated. If they ask what you are doing, simply moo again. What ever they do, just say moo. Hey, that rhymes! Enjoy you annoying, I'll speak to you again next chapter.

And so it ended. Lily thought as she reread this short, simple chapter. Who ever had written this book was obviously quite intelligent, but had a good sense of humor too. Oh, James was in for it after class.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After Class XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lily stood and stretched as the bell rang. Since it was a Friday afternoon, they didn't have 6th or 7th periods, so she was free to do whatever. As she stood, James ran up to her.

"He Lily!"

"Moo!"

"What?"

"Moo!"

"Why are you mooing?"

"Moooo!" James looked at her strangely. He put his hand against her forehead to feel if it was warm.

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Moo! Moo-moo moo moooooo!" Lily mooed happily before grabbing her bag and skipping out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Like 10 minutes before dinner XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Not feeling hungry, Lily decided to go straight to the heads common room. When she was nearing the portrait whole, she felt some one grab her shoulder. It was a pretty blonde girl with a blue head band on.

"Vat vere tu doing een 'eestory of Mageec?" Anne-Marie Lowney asked her voice heavy with French accent.

"Reading a book on how to annoy James." Lily smiled as she pulled out the book that Tara had given her.

"Ah, très magnifique!" Anne-Marie cried out after reading the title. "I could really uze zees against Sirius!" She flipped through the pages as Lily frowned.

"Against him?" she asked as Anne-Marie looked up.

"Yeah," Anne-Marie sighed. " 'e ees getting very annoying, I zink I vill 'ave to leave 'im, or as you non-French peoples zay eet 'Dump heem'." Anne-Marie held the book up again to read but Lily pulled it down and raised her eyebrows.

"Why are you going to 'Dump heem'?" Lily asked as Anne-Marie frowned.

"I do not know, 'ee just isn't ze von I vanted, hee ees too sereeous."

"Sirius being Sirius?"

"Look, drop zee subject, I vant to know more about zees book! Vere did tu get zees book?"

"Present..." Lily said uneasily.

"Oh! 'Oo gave eet to tu?"

"Tara..." Lily mumbled. Anne-Marie's face darkened.

"Oh, oui, I saw 'er een zee common room. Can I borrow zees?" Anne-Marie quickly changed the subject.

"Well, I haven't read all of it yet, and I wanted to use it against-James!" Lily yelled and pointed down the hall as James came walking towards them, obviously looking as if he had heard everything they had just said.

Anne-Marie quickly pulled Lily into the Heads' Common room after saying the password (Sugar Plums) and yanked her up into the Head girl's room. James ran through the passage just in time to hear Lily moo loudly before a load slam of a door and a satisfying click was heard.

"Damn it..." James mumbled before turning around and heading down the halls. He strode nervously towards the great hall, where he knew every one would be eating dinner now. How was he going to tell Sirius of Anne-Marie's decision? And what was that book that Tara had given Lily when she had come to visit? He was confused, and when he walked into the Great Hall, things only seem to get worst.