Omi could not stop smiling to himself, even as he lay tucked into his sleeping mat that night, reflecting on the interactions of the day. The more he thought about what it must mean to 'be gay', outside the haphazard discovery of the term, the more gleeful he felt, because he realized how true it was. He'd always admired the image of a bold, shirtless male warrior posed victoriously in the sun, but only in fresh context did he note that he had a bit of a thing for older warriors. Much like Jack fawned over Chase Young and Hannibal Roy Bean, Omi had been infatuated with Master Monk Guan and Grand Master Dashi. To some degree, he'd even shared an admiration for Chase Young. Once.

Reflecting on his interactions with Jack over the course of their relationship, Omi could only become giddy and giggle to himself to recontextualize them all with this new filter to frame them from the perspective of a crush. It all made too much sense when he thought about it. The inexplicable draw to hug him so much. Why he wanted to work so hard to help Jack find his way and be happy. The fact that he'd even needed to include Jack in his farewell note when he'd once run away from the temple in shame. The boy really had always been in the corner of his mind.

If being gay meant a desire to date other boys, Omi had no trouble declaring that he was incredibly gay for Jack Spicer.

Come morning training, Omi still found himself beaming from ear to ear, the other monks watching a bit stand-offishly as the smallest party flipped and weaved his way through a small forest of poles, atop which each rested a delicate vase balanced precariously on tiny platforms. The yellow boy was performing this task flawlessly and with great speed, not so much as even brushing the obstacles.

Reaching the end of the course, Omi cheered and performed a short little dance in celebration. "Haha! Yes! I am most inside my game today~!"

Unsure about the conflicting moods, Jermaine passed a glance to his rather stoic teammates and simply mentioned, "Think you mean on your game, Omi-dawg."

"As you say. Whichever direction~!"

"Yeah, yeah," Raimundo rolled his eyes and brushed off, "You ready to try a wu round then?"

Stance firming, Omi lifted a hand and confidently folded his fingers in invitation. "Bring it!"

Scowling, Raimundo looked to both sides at the others. "Well? You heard him, guys." Lifting a diamond-shaped bronze pendant, he called, "Eye of Dashi!" Lightning burst forth from the slit-cut ruby in the pendant's center.

To the tanned boy's left, Clay activated his own weapon. "Lasso Boa-Boa!" A homing length of magical rope threw itself out Omi's way.

Kimiko cried, "Ruby of Ramses!" A beam of magical energy went for a vase and lifted it into the air, quickly followed by the next, and the next.

Wondering if the order hadn't sounded just a hint vindictive, Jermaine hemmed slightly but didn't contradict his leader, declaring, "Tangle Web Comb!" A series of hair tendrils shot forth from the comb in hand and aimed themselves to entangle the poles and create a network of webbing impossible to navigate.

Not losing his smile, Omi darted forward to do the obstacle course all over again from the other direction, crouching to slide and dodge the lightning blast that came first. Raising his own shen gong wu, he hollered, "Lotus Twister~!"

The large flower snaked its way around his arm, and his entire body elongated at once, limbs stretching to collect the vases Kimiko was knocking off-kilter, meanwhile his spine swayed to evade Clay, Raimundo, and the barriers Jermaine had constructed. One noodly arm curving to hit the ground, he flipped his gangly body straight over a three-way collision between the wu, and flattened out his other enlarged hand like a rubbery kite to catch the vase Kimiko had just attempted to hurl groundward.

Amid the chaos, it seemed like Omi had nary a care, and he carried himself back through the course with seemingly just as much ease as he had his first time through. Landing at home on the training yard's cobblestone as the course was once again cleared, he let the Lotus Twister deactivate and return him to normal solid stature, one last vase falling from the sky and landing perfectly poised atop a lone index finger. Without even looking, Omi flipped that up to land in position behind his back, then thrusting his arms overhead, each hand bearing a rock and roll gesture.

"Ohhh yes! I am in heat!"

The faces meeting him were a mix of disgruntled and uncomfortable.

"I'm going to go with 'on fire'..." Kimiko ventured, "And yeah. Don't take this the wrong way? But you seem a little too on your game, considering."

"Yeah," Raimundo chipped in with a very grousing expression, "Did you forget we're kinda ticked at each other? What are you so happy about?"

"Gotta admit, Omi-dawg," Jermaine noted, "Seems kind of a one-eighty." He was all for making up, but this was bordering on insensitive.

"Where'd you learn that..?" Clay scrutinized, miming one rock hand subtly and already having a sneaking suspicion.

Brightly, Omi replied, "Do not worry, my friends. I did not forget the happenings of yesterday. I simply did not want to let such a weighted discussion interrupt our training, but I am afraid I am too jazzied up to contain my newfound joy in your correctness about my gay~!"

Crossing his arms, Raimundo held a skeptical gaze. "No, I think the sooner the better on this one. What happened to Jack Spicer being a better friend than us, huh?"

Several nods around him, and Jermaine had to relent, "Really wasn't cool to say, man."

With his own relenting breath, Omi supposed if his friends wished it to take priority, he could clear the air with them now rather than outside their training schedule. "I do realize that you were not meaning harm with the things you were doing," he granted, "I spoke out of anger when I said what I did. You are all very much my dearest friends, but I will also say that Jack Spicer has been more of a friend to me than you may realize. In fact, he was the one to help me reach clarity on the matter after I revisited him."

"Yer kiddin', right?" Clay looked doubtful again.

A waggling finger came forward. "Noooo joke. I regret the harsh words that were spoken, and it is in no small part that I owe my ability to see past them so quickly to Jack Spicer." A small hem. "However, I do still wish that you would simply speak to me about certain discoveries rather than doing the snooping and hiding it from me."

Kimiko's lips thinned in a spot of guilt now. "I'm sorry if you felt like we were trying to hide things from you," she admitted, "But sometimes it's just...really hard to think of you as like...more than a kid brother? Who's not ready for all that stuff?"

Omi quirked a brow. "But...Kimiko. I am a year older than you..."

Lips wavering, Kimiko closed her eyes in a very awkward strain. "Yeah...I know..!" That made it even weirder to think about! Letting out a breath, the girl relented, "But...I guess if he's actually helped you learn some stuff here and there, like about girls? Maybe Jack's not completely horrible for you to be around..?"

Now standing taller in pleasant surprise, Omi beamed hopefully. "I promise you he is not. Being around him has been moooost beneficial."

Holding onto his skepticism, Raimundo countered to the group, "Okay, but even if there are some educational benefits, like us not having to give Omi 'the talk' anytime soon, what're his thoughts on the whole side swapping thing, anyway? 'cause as much as I'm for trust and letting you do your thing, I don't think he's biting. And it's been like...months now."

Facing the Brazilian boy now, Omi's expression was as earnest as it could be as he insisted, "Even if you do not see it, I do not think Jack Spicer wishes to rule the world any longer. He acts towards it as it is familiar, but I can see what he truly wants is connection. And I still wish to provide this for him. It is my understanding of 'gay' that makes me wish for this all the more. If it is meaning I wish to date boys, then Jack Spicer is the boy I most certainly wish to date."

At once, three of the four others spat out air in pure shock as they doubled over at this bombshell, meanwhile Jermaine perked as a surprised smile found his lips. To Omi, he granted, "Aw, for real? Look at you, navigatin' the field. I'm proud-a you, homie." He chucked Omi's shoulder as a reflection of this. Going from not knowing he even had a crush to declaring he wanted to date Jack like this was a fast turnaround. Omi could be quick when he wanted to be.

"Okay, no. No!" Raimundo swished his hands negatively before pointing downward sharply. "That is crossing a line, dude!"

"Yer definitely gonna get burned stokin' that fire," Clay agreed adamantly.

At these mixed messages, Omi looked between his friends. "I am sorry? I expected more resounding support for my mission in light of our making up talk."

"It's Jack!" Kimiko insisted as though that should be obvious reason enough, coming forward to grab Omi's tunic and shake him. "Are you nuts?! Don't even tell him you're figuring out your sexuality, much less you're gay! He'll walk all over you! That's why we gave you that test in the first place! We were hoping you were incompatible!"

Eyes swirling, Omi shook his head before raising a finger to note bashfully, "Um...too late?"

Eyes bulging, Kimiko leaned forward into his person space, clutching his collar even harder. "Too late what? Too late what?! Did he do something to you?!" Her eyes burned with preemptive fury.

Afraid of the fire in his teammate's eyes, Omi shrank timidly, but responded, "I do not know what type of 'something' you are referring to, but I am merely speaking of the fact that he already knows I am interested in dating him?"

"WHAT?!"

This time the exclamation came from all four of the others.

"He did do something to you, didn't he?!" Kimiko carried on, "You just don't know he did! Where did he touch you, Omi? It's okay, you can tell us! We'll make him suffer for taking advantage of your innocence!"

Brow furrowing in concern at Kimiko, Omi turned his head away slightly and returned with unease, "I do not feel taken advantage of...and the only one touching or making me feel uncomfortable at the moment is you."

Blinking in surprise to hear this, Kimiko glanced down at her white-knuckled fists and blushed lightly in sheepishness. "Heheh...oops. Sorry." Promptly, she let go and put her hands modestly behind her. Could she be blamed for being overprotective of such a clueless character sometimes?

"Rest assured," Omi placed his palms out towards his friends, "Jack Spicer has done nothing dastardly in response to knowing my true feelings. Actually, he assumed I would be playing the same trickery expected from you when hearing about it. Then I left."

The others twitched in some surprise, hearing both sides had assumed this 'friendship' would involve a ploy to get the other party to swap sides out of obligation or simple attachment.

"I still don't buy it," Raimundo held firm, crossing his arms, "Sorry, but I just don't trust a guy who stomped me to death to date one of my best friends. Especially not if he hasn't shown any interest in leaving the path of evil."

"Speakin' as the one who went first on the wrong end of a shootin' gallery? Gonna have to side with Rai." Clay thumbed toward the tanned boy.

This argument did seem to silence Omi. Jermaine's brow went up hearing these things and looked swiftly to the yellow party. "Woah, Omi. They for real?" He hadn't known Jack had killed the Dragons before!

Glumly, Omi folded his hands into his sleeves and had to admit, "In another timeline. Yes."

"And speaking as the last to go," Kimiko chipped in, hand going to her hip, "Let me tell you how excruciatingly painful it is getting slowly yanked apart by giant robot claws like pulled pork. While watching your friends die. Even if you're senile. Can you blame any of us for being hesitant hearing you want to date the guy who didn't hesitate to do that when it came to it?"

A little meekly, Raimundo reminded, "Yeah, dude, that's like the biggest reason I felt my skin crawl when I thought he'd offed Bean without hesitation too. And why I was so worried about letting you be alone with him all the time."

As Omi looked to the ground, feeling as though he may just have to respect his friends' opinions on this, for he very much understood their stance, Jermaine's face held one of deep thought. Facing his short friend and catching his attention, he reasoned, "Omi. You mean what you said about Jack not feelin' world domination anymore?"

Blinking, not knowing what the New Yorker was getting at, Omi granted, "Yes? He does not feel as driven towards this goal as he has previously. Of this I can be certain."

Jermaine nodded. "I don't know about this other timeline stuff - don't think I was livin' much different on my end - but I do remember the world bein' ruled by Emperor Jack. And a world where he didn't rule. And all I can say is, this is this timeline. Things clearly changed the first two times around. Don't see why we can't change 'em a second time. Especially if we got Omi here now." He sent the shorter boy a small smile. From his limited experience with Jack, it truly didn't seem like that terrible a relationship to root for. If Omi was sure the Jack in this timeline was still open to change, Jermaine would still lend his hand in support.

Gratefully, Omi returned the smile.

"Easy for you to say," Raimundo directed at Jermaine, "His beau never killed you."

Jermaine shrugged. "I feel you, but we deal with some pretty heavy stuff. This ain't a normal old high school thing. If Omi can forgive somethin' like that? I gotta give respect. And I'm still willing to trust his judgement on character. After all, he was right about my first mentor. Who knows if evil woulda swayed me without it, right?" He offered a sly smirk over his shoulder, to which Omi gladly took the compliment and chuckled proudly at how he had enlightened Jermaine to Chase Young's evil ways.

Continuing, Jermaine appealed, "Maybe Omi's just the only one stubborn enough to get through to the bad boy. Maybe Jack's that damaged. Maybe havin' a crush helps there." Another supposing shrug. "Nothin' evil's happened this far, though. Maybe we can learn to forgive too."

A moment of heavy silence.

"I hate admitting you're right," Raimundo said bitterly, "But you're right. If anyone could get through to Jack at all, it's Omi. And if he's sure Jack's different because of whatever he's doing, fine. But I still don't like it. Especially not the dating part."

"Agreed," Kimiko nodded, "That part still makes me wanna blow chunks."

"And Ah still think Spicer's just waitin' ta pull the rug from under our feet," Clay added, "For all we know, gettin' in good with Omi's just the first step to knockin' us all down."

Seeing a foot in the door at least, thanks to Jermaine's encouragement, Omi insisted, "I think if you gave Jack Spicer a chance, you would see how different he has become, and could even grow to love him as well. Though, not as much as me, please."

The others all looked sick there. Raimundo granted, "No worries about that...trust me."

Sliding closer, Jermaine slithered his way around Raimundo's arm and popped a foot coyly. "Good, 'cause if you start lookin' at other girls, I'm-a be real sad~..."

Face solid red in an instant, steam could practically be seen puffing from the Brazilian's head as he stared at Jermaine and made a few garbled nonsense noises, putting it together that Jermaine had just called himself his girl and having no witty retort.

Impishly, Jermaine grinned in victory, but then lifted an index finger to poke the small spiral medallion Raimundo wore. "For real, though, thought you were a romantic, Rai. Don't you want Omi to find love?"

Regaining some sensibility, Raimundo looked off to the side and grumbled, "Not at the expense of his life...or friends." Seeing the others unable to maintain a totally serious attitude and stifling snickers as they watched him squirm from Jermaine's clingy quip, the brunette let out a short frustrated growl and threw up his hands. "Okay, fine, whatever! Let's all have a powwow with Jack Spicer! I give it my blessing! But if Omi ends up traumatized, or worse, in love, don't come crying to me!"

Pushing the darker boy off of him, he lifted the Eye of Dashi and pointed out, "Anyway, glad we're all made up. So how about that training? Anyone remember training? Jermaine, how 'bout you go?"

Finding this ironic since Raimundo had instigated a break from training to have this talk, Omi snickered too. Jermaine obliged and passed Omi the Tangle Web Comb, then proceeding to the obstacle course to take his turn at it. He proceeded to obliterate Omi's time, but to everyone's shock, the shortest monk only applauded and declared Jermaine to have done well. Jermaine graciously performed a showy stage bow.

Sharing a glance, the remaining three all knew they were thinking the same thing: who was this, and what had been done with Omi? It couldn't be Chameleonbot playing a replacement, since that robot had been scrapped, but that just meant...maybe something good really was coming of spending time with Jack?

...

Jack bent at the waist over his table sporting a world map, elbows resting on the surface as he absently chewed the knob end of a compass. He was trying to decide the best place to begin world conquest.

"Let's see..." he pondered, "Last time the Xiaolin Temple made a surprisingly good springboard. The sphere of influence wasn't much, but it did get rid of a pretty pesky problem right off the bat." He stuck the compass' point end into the map and swirled it to draw a small ring around the temple's general location. "But also conquering those losers might be harder this time. It's too obvious. Maybe I'd be better off taking over a world power and usurping the military resources." He moved the compass over to America and swirled a quick circle that encompassed the entire nation. "You think America's going too big for a first strike, or is it just the right amount to make a statement?"

Not getting an answer, he looked up and around himself, realizing he'd just been speaking to someone who wasn't there on autopilot. Lowering his head to grip his temples and grunt at himself, he scolded, "Get a grip, Jack, like Cheddar Head would help you plan your invasion in the first place..."

Ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the idea that Omi had a crush on him. Blushing just to even think about that, Jack berated himself for doing so. He refused to believe such a connection could be real. He was Jack Spicer. People didn't like him, in any sense of the word! He played into his conceit and played like he was beloved, but he knew it was a lie to think so. That's why when he'd see any sliver of positivity from someone else, he pounced on the idea of a relationship with them. He'd clung to Tubbimura, Chase Young, Vlad, a weird mutant plant calling itself Gigi, a biker gang run by Clay's sister, Wuya so many times he'd lost track...even the stupid monks.

Probably the most awkward was the time he'd clung to someone he'd thought was evil going by Clofang, only to find out he was actually the good guy. Jack had been heartbroken and needed a moment to question his own allegiances, instincts and morality before getting himself on track and siding with the evil mermaid Dyris instead.

Still, wavering morality aside, Jack was used to heartbreak. Platonic or not, others looked down on him. So much so that taking over the world was the only way he could see to make others recognize him. Of course, repeatedly trapping Chase Young, and doing the one thing the dragon man hadn't been able to still hadn't been enough to earn Chase's recognition. The way the immortal warrior seemed to just double down on wanting Jack dead so he could pretend the albino had never existed just kind of stung. Jack had thought the careless way Chase discarded of his enemies to be an admirable trait at one point, but now? Now it just seemed callous. Not even acknowledging the desire of his greatest fan to learn from him. To say Jack was disillusioned after continued interactions with the man was an understatement. He was crushed. But then, that was also comfortable. It was normal to throw himself at the wall again and again, knowing he'd bounce right off and get hurt.

In a lot of ways, not knowing when to give up was a beneficial trait, for Jack had happily proven them all wrong in the long run. He'd never bowed out of this race for power. He'd been the most active. But he supposed when it came to personal interactions, it really did just end up burning him. Because he knew nobody cared.

Except Omi.

Just staring down at his map, Jack reflected. Even if Omi hadn't been interested in dating, he'd still been increasingly insistent over the years about Jack swapping sides. About wanting to be allies. He'd been operating this whole time under the assumption of friendship. Only yesterday did dating even enter the equation.

On some deep, human level, Omi did care about Jack.

Taking the pencil from the compass, Jack put it over his lip and made a pouty face as he began idly balancing the pencil there. Nah. Omi was an idiot. From a purely factual standpoint. How did he know what he saw in Jack, much less that he had a crush? His friends had made a vague attempt to support Omi's claims of there being something for him on the other side, too, but they hardly seemed as sure as Omi.

But jeez. Omi was really sure. Flatteringly sure.

It really did feel good, embarrassing as it was to admit, when Omi trusted, praised, believed in, supported him. And it felt terrible to disappoint the other boy. Which was maybe even more embarrassing to admit. With another scan over his map, he was quite sure taking over the world was going to disappoint Omi more than anything else could. And it would certainly destroy any shot at a relationship.

Shaking his head vigorously, Jack let the pencil drop and reprimanded himself again. "Come on, Jack, you don't have a shot with him..! He's just...misplacing his emotions!"

Playing his own devil's advocate, he shrugged and argued, "Okay, friendship then! Admit it, you know he cares about you!"

Throwing his arms in the air, he shot back at himself, "Puh-lease! He's probably wrong about thinking that, too! 'Seen good things in me for a great while'...ha! Yeah, right!"

Arms lowering into a sheepish posture, he relented, "Although...even if he only thinks he's feeling it, he doesn't lie. And having him around has been...less lonely. That might be what brought me back to Wuya so many times, but without even her around, all I've got to talk to is you, Jack. No offense."

Another light shrug. "Ehn. None taken. You know I love you~."

Slicking his hair back and sending himself a trigger finger, the goth boy granted, "Thanks, Jack. Right back at ya~."

"And he prob'ly does too. Just admit you might wanna try the other side again."

Huffing, Jack shot back at himself, "No way! Switching allegiances for love is such a dumb cliche!"

Wrists on his hips, he scoffed, "Not for love, dingus, for you!"

Forming a skeptical face, he pressed, "What are you talking about, Jack..."

"You know you've been curious. You know you wanna see if you could really commit. Omi aside, you like the stuff he's said, and you believe it. You wish the others would say stuff like that. You wish you could be tight like them. And most of all, you wanna see if your good half is as good as you know it is. You agreed when Omi said you did well in just one day of trying Xiaolin stuff."

"Not out loud..!"

"Yeah, but you still thought it."

Slapping a hand to his forehead, Jack bit, "So what? I did not! Get out of my head!"

"I'm literally you, Jack..."

Growling and balling his fists, Jack knew he was arguing himself into a corner. Letting one hand raise conversationally, he rambled, "Okay, Jack, let's say for one crazy second that I did want to try going good again. What comes out of it? Maybe it'd feel good, but I'll end up feeling good anyway when I force everyone to bow down to me!"

Swirling a finger in vague circles, he added, "Whiiiich might be a retread of what I already know ended up being a patch-on gratification more than long-term fulfillment, but hey! At least I know I can do it!"

Palms opening to the air, he kept ruminating, "Think, though, what if I chose good instead of being forced into it? No greater threat forcing me to team up with them, no Good Jack sticking me with a horrible fashion sense and a predetermined course of action. Because I was effective at saving the world without superpowers...and I've already done being the best at evil. Might be a little boring doing a rehash."

Absently, he scratched one cheek with his index finger. "Maybe I could be the best good guy, too. Y'know, if I wanted. I might actually get to have real friends. And...a barnacle. Who just so happens to be the only person openly and honestly liking me from the start."

Twiddling his thumbs and imagining that for a moment, he felt too repulsed by such a picturesque future. How could he, Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius, think he wanted such a thing?

"Maybe I could just...play along? Maybe get some cool kung fu abilities out of it? Backstab 'em all later and then be extra powerful as Evil Emperor?"

"Sounds like excuses to me," he shrugged off again, "By the time it comes to turn on them, don't you think you'd be suckered in too far to wanna?"

"Ehhh...what if I do that thing like Omi was saying and sucker him into switching? That'd show all those guys for thinking they could make me want to go good."

Groaning at himself, he countered, "Okay, one: Omi's not looking for somewhere to belong, and he's way too righteous to waver. Two: we were talking about you, Jack. And how you might find worth if you just took a step outside your comfort zone. The big bads are never gonna see you as an equal. Or be your friends. Maybe it's time you looked at what you really want, huh? You're the one standing here talking to yourself."

"...shut up, Jack."

Fed up with the way his own mind was split, Jack decided on a change of scenery.

A short fly in his new jet to Hong Kong later, Jack was smashing through the ceiling of the main hall of Panda Bubba's high security mafia complex. Dropping through the hole and landing with a graceful flip, Jack held his arms neatly behind his back and a smile on his face as the mob boss' henchmen all reacted in stun and pulled firearms to aim at him.

Behind his desk, the tall, rotund man with twin buns resembling panda's ears rose as well at the intrusion. With indignation, he exclaimed, "Jack Spicer?! What is the meaning of this? I thought we agreed! You keep off Panda Bubba territory, and I clear your debt and support the Spicer Uprising!"

Turning to face the large man, demure smile still in place, Jack walked forward to meet him at his desk. "Eh, I was lonely," he shrugged as a half-truth, "But actually, P.B., speaking of support, I think I saw a hit car of yours driving around just a toe out of line coming in. And my production schedule's slowing down just a smidge much for my liking. Basically, Mom's wised up and frozen her assets. You're a man who knows how to get anything and everything. Think you might see fit to support me just that final one percent 'til Doomsday~? I mean I'm sure I could still get by with what I've got, but I like to be a completionist. And make sure folks stay inside their boxes~?" A coy peek down his nose at the panda man.

Glowering down his own nose, Panda Bubba returned, "Bold words from a boy so far from home alone...we had a deal, Jack Spicer. Panda Bubba always keeps his deals. If you think you can extort me, ho ho, you've got another thing coming. I could end your reign before it even begins!" He nodded to his black and white suited henchmen, who moved forward behind Jack.

"Alone?" Jack echoed, "What makes you think I'd come alone?"

Here he pressed a button on his wrist, and the jet that had transformed into a gigantic mech to drop him in smashed its fist through the roof again, creating an even bigger hole. This arm then morphed itself into a massive gun barrel.

As the surrounding men gawped at this dwarfing mechanism, Jack breezed, leaning to land one elbow on Panda Bubba's desk, "Now, you can either play ball and thank me for the nice sunroof installation, or you can see what happens to those who try to take an inch from...Jack Spicer. Prince of Darkness. Little hint? I pay back with a mile. My own home-brewed take on a plasma cannon'll leave this place leveled."

Floored, Panda Bubba's face went white as this scrawny, barely-legal wimp was so cocky while threatening to destroy his compound and everyone in it. The mafia boss knew Jack had done just as much the last time he ruled the world. It was really in his best interest to keep what little freedom and territory he'd already negotiated with the boy.

"O-Of course, Mr. Spicer. My resources are your resources. Naturally."

A bored but expectant expression on his face, Jack cleared his throat.

"Oh! A-And, thank you for the very nice sunroof addition. I really think it ties the whole place together." The large man gave an appeasing smile as he sweated.

Jack smiled once more. "You're welcome. I agree. But c'mon, P.B., we're friends..! What's all this 'Mister' stuff?"

With a disgruntled groan, Panda Bubba guessed, "My apologies...J.S..? Um, if you could just leave a list of the supplies you need, I would be happy to have them delivered at your earliest convenience."

Pleased, Jack reached into his breast pocket. "Already got ya covered, Panda Baby." Taking a folded piece of paper out between two fingers, he tossed that to land on the boss' desk. "And hey, no rush~! Friends don't rush friends. I'll give you a week, tops."

Opening the list to look at the demands, Panda Bubba's eyes bulged. "You want how many tons of bronze and zinc?!"

Jack shrugged, "Big boy evil needs a big boy army. Well, I'll let you get started. Toodles!" With a dainty flurry of his fingers, Jack hopped up onto the barrel still pointed at the center of the room and walked upward to a cockpit. Once he was strapped in, only then did the humongous arm gun retract, and the mech transformed itself back into a sleek, speedy jet.

Leaning back in his plush pilot's seat, Jack activated autopilot and kicked his heels up. "Ahhh, now that felt good. Nothing like a bit of hands-on evil to recharge the ol' juices." So what if it wasn't fulfilling eighty years from now? It was fulfilling right now, and that's what mattered. Pile on the momentary satisfaction, and you had enough for a lifetime eventually, right? He probably...just did it wrong last time.

Breaking through his thoughts, one of the Jackbots in the swarm he'd brought along to subdue the outside guards checked in through his communicator.

"Sir," it deadpanned, "Since we are in Hong Kong, did you wish to visit your father?"

At first, Jack perked with a starry-eyed gasp, having forgotten entirely about that possibility. But then he caught himself and slumped. "Why would I wanna do that? He and Mom already make the bare minimum effort to acknowledge I exist. Dad sends me giiiifts, Mom bakes me cookiiiies...all once in a blue moon. Why should I make more of an effort than they do? Besides, Dad probably wouldn't even recognize me outside the basement. The only time I think he knows who I am is when he's scolding me for messing up the house he's never in, or for making a robot out of his precious cappuccino machine. 'It was a New Year's gift', he says...whatever." His voice went nasally as he mocked his father's voice. "What'd you get me for New Year's? The ten millionth lame-o five dollar brain teaser I solved as soon as I opened it!"

Unseen to Jack, the robot outside scratched the back of its head awkwardly. "It was just a question, sir."

Silently, Jack blinked stoically to himself, realizing that of course even with emotion chips, his robots were not nearly as adept at coping with accidental tangential rants, nor comforting him when they occurred as a certain cheese boy he knew.

"Well the answer is no."