Chance
Chance favors the prepared mind. Can the NIH team handle each other when an April Fools day prank-a-thon goes larger than life? Please review!
A.N.: Hey, Julia here. Please, please do not try these pranks at home! We have trained professionals working on designing and pulling these things off. They are not safe to try on siblings, parents or relatives of any kind. Thank you for your cooperation.
Disclaimer: We do not own Medical Investigation. Yet. One day when we're rich and famous authors, Sydney and I will chip in to buy the show and then we can all have fun!
Chapter 3: Payback
It was well past midnight and Stephen still lay in bed, wide awake. He couldn't believe that Natalie and Eva were capable of such horrors. He shook his head and wondered why in his right mind he hadn't fired them earlier on. All he did in terms of a reprimand was make Eva lead a press conference the following day and put Natalie on paperwork duty for the rest of the week. Frank swore he had nothing to do with it and Stephen had to believe him. There was no crime without proof. Stephen decided that his punishment didn't fit the crime. No, he had to think big. He had to think bad. He had to phone Miles. They needed their revenge.
Meanwhile Eva and Natalie were already tying up their own phone lines, chatting animatedly. They were still laughing about their prank. Even Natalie had to admit that it was worth the scare Stephen gave them before letting them off with a slap on the wrist. The girls finally managed to calm down and were able to talk normally.
"Ten pounds of flour; eight dollars," Eva stated.
"Box of envelopes and index cards; five dollars," Natalie continued.
"The look on Stephen and Miles' faces as they chased us down the hallway until they were breathless; priceless," Eva laughed.
"We should write for MasterCard," Natalie joked.
The girls talked for a few more minutes before saying goodnight and hanging up. They both wanted to be well rested for work the next day. Eva had a press conference and Natalie would need copious doses of caffeine if she was going to stay awake whilst doing mounds upon mounds of paperwork.
The phone beside Miles' bed rang. He put down the journal he was flipping through and picked it up.
"Hello?" He asked sleepily.
"Miles, it's Connor. Sorry if I woke you," Stephen began.
"No, I wasn't sleeping yet," Miles replied.
"Listen, we have to do something about Eva and Natalie. We can't let them have the last laugh," Stephen explained.
"What do you suggest, Dr. Frankenstein?" Miles said, stifling a yawn.
"I was thinking…" Stephen suggested.
At the end of his explanation, Miles smiled evilly and nodded to himself.
"Great idea! I'll bring the whoopee cushion, you bring the food coloring and the syrup," Miles agreed.
The two men bade each other goodnight and hung up. In the morning, they both arrived early, discreetly carrying their prank items in their briefcases. The girls wouldn't be in for another hour or so, but Frank was already in his office, sorting things out in his desk. Miles and Stephen snuck in and discreetly closed the door. The approached Frank from the back, pulled him down into a chair and held him there so that he couldn't move. Frank's first move was to try and jerk away, but after that didn't work, he settled for verbal harassment. He feared that Natalie and Eva had ratted him out.
"What do you want? I already told you I had no part in what Eva and Natalie did to you guys," Frank said defensively.
"That's not what this is about, Frank. We need your help," Stephen began.
"With what?" Frank inquired curiously.
"A few little pranks we want to pull on the girls. We'll let you in first. We need you to play around with some food coloring so that it sticks effectively to Natalie and Eva's teeth. We're then going to put the concoction in the coffee pot. We also need you to come up with something similar that will stick to hair. In the meantime, Miles and I are going to set up a couple of little things in the boardroom where they're holding the press conference later on today," Stephen explained.
Frank raised an eyebrow before agreeing.
"Fine, but if they get mad, it's your butts on the line, not mine," Frank compromised.
Miles and Stephen nodded. At that point they left the food coloring on Frank's desk and left his office. They dropped their other things off in their offices before heading off down the hallway toward the boardroom. As they rounded the corner they ran square into Eva and Natalie. The women had arrived early. Miles quickly stuffed the whoopee cushion into the back pocket of his jeans before the women could figure out what the guys were up to.
"Good morning Natalie, Eva," Stephen said politely.
"Good morning," the ladies replied in unison.
The guys and girls both continued on their respective paths. The girls had no idea what the men were up to and the man were thanking their lucky stars that they hadn't noticed anything. When they reached the boardroom, Miles and Stephen were careful to avoid all of the equipment and the chairs that had been set up for the afternoon press conference. Eva would be the chief speaker and so she would be sitting in the centre of the table. There was no way this could backfire since her nameplate already sat on the table in front of her chair. Miles snuck across the room and inflated the whoopee cushion, strategically and discreetly placing it under the cushion on the chair that had been placed there. As soon as he was done and the prank was set up to his perfection he walked back over to where Connor stood waiting for him. The two men slipped out of the room and returned to Frank's office. They found no trace of him. After searching the building top to bottom for him for a few minutes, they found him in the men's washroom. The same on that Natalie and Eva had hidden in just the day before. He was just finishing shaking up a test tube full of a dark purple colored liquid that looked almost like ink, only less viscous. Frank picked up another test tube with similar contents, only this one a bright green color. He handed the test tubes to Stephen and cleaned up the countertop.
"Here you go, guys. I still don't think this is a good idea. Now, the purple one has a calcium activated adhesive and will stick to teeth. The green one has an amino acid activated adhesive that will stick to hair. I hope you guys are ready just in case the girls decide to fight back," Frank said sincerely.
"Oh, don't worry. We have plenty of ideas. Just wait and see. Thanks for this, Frank," Miles said quietly.
Frank nodded and stayed behind to wash his hands as Miles and Stephen quickly and inconspicuously left the washroom. Miles took the purple vial and Stephen took the green. They would do this just as they had planned the night before. After making sure the girls were nowhere in sight, Miles and Stephen headed in their respective directions to carry out phase one of their prank.
Miles stood in the coffee room. The coffeepot was still full, so that meant that Natalie and Eva hadn't had their morning coffee yet. Excellent. It was still hot, so Miles was careful not to burn himself as he poured the contents of the vial into the coffee. He grinned mischievously as he tossed the empty test tube in the trash and stirred the coffee so that it would all look uniform. Miles silently thanked Frank. The dye was perfect. It was indiscernible in the coffee, had no smell and no taste but would undoubtedly leave an impression with Natalie and Eva.
Stephen snuck into the women's locker room. He quickly spotted Natalie's locker and unlocked it. He had access to all of the staff's locker combinations, so there was no escape. Stephen quickly grabbed Natalie's bottle of shampoo. It was Herbal Essences and it was already green, so the dye would be inconspicuous. He poured the contents of the vial into the bottle and stirred the contents with a glass rod until the shampoo was once again a uniform color. He quickly replaced the cap and locked the locker. Stephen was going to leave the locker room but he heard footsteps in the hallway. Connor jumped into an almost full linen cart and buried himself among the dirty scrubs. He waited for a few moments before he heard the door to the locker room open. Kate Ewing had come in to get something from her locker. Stephen knew that hers was around the corner, out of sight of the door. If he could quickly jump out of the linen cart and make a dash for the door, she would never know the difference. Connor waited for a window of opportunity and made a run for it. After finding himself safely back in his office, albeit out of breath, Connor prepared for the next phase of their prank.
Miles entered Connor's office and found no sign of his superior. Miles closed the door behind him and stepped a little further into the room.
"Connor?" Miles whispered.
"Yeah, I'm down here," Connor replied.
Miles walked around to the other side of the desk and found Connor on his knees on the floor, filling a bucket with maple syrup. Miles took the empty bottles and stuffed them back into Stephen's bag. They finished quickly and Connor sat back on his heels.
"Okay, I'll go keep the girls busy for a while. I'll page you once I've got them rounded up. Then, you go and set this up on top of the door to Natalie's office. Make sure that no one else goes in there until you hear us coming around the corner. When you hear our voices, run for it. Got it?" Connor instructed.
"Got it," Miles affirmed.
Stephen headed out of the office and closed the door behind him. He found Natalie and Eva chatting over coffee in the break room. He gave them a small smile as he sat down to join them, thanking God that he had grabbed the cup of coffee he had bought form Starbucks that morning before leaving his office. This couldn't possibly backfire now. Stephen sat down and greeted the duo. He saw Frank walk by outside the room and wink at him. They had arranged a chance call to buy Stephen some time and the opportunity to page Miles.
"Natalie, Eva," he said by way of greeting.
"Connor," they replied.
"I wanted to let you know now so that you're not in a rush later. Oh, sorry, just give me a second to check this text message," Stephen said.
He thanked God that Frank had gone through with it. Stephen quickly dialed in Miles' pager number and pressed a few other choice buttons to make it look inconspicuous. He then put his phone back on the clip on his belt and turned to face the women in whose presence he found himself.
"Sorry about that. Now, where was I? Right. I want to let you know right now that you should have your bags packed and ready for later. Dr. Ewing might be sending our team out to Orlando where there's been an outbreak of a severe respiratory disease. She said she would send Williams' respiratory team if she could get a hold of them. They're attending a conference in Los Angeles, but they should be able to get a flight out without a problem. Dr. Ewing wants us standing by just in case. I've left the reports on your desks for you to look over if you want to, just to get prepared. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go finish up some paperwork," Stephen said with a look at Natalie.
Stephen stood from the table and heard the scraping of chair legs. Natalie had moved away from the table and stood up. She followed him to the door.
"I'm going to take a look at those now," Natalie announced.
Stephen nodded and accompanied her down the hallway. Her office was next to his and he would have time to make a clean escape before she could yell at him for the syrup. Stephen cleared his throat loudly as they reached the corner to warn Miles of their presence in case he hadn't finished yet. When they rounded the corner Stephen was pleased to see that Miles had made an escape. He was about to enter his office when Natalie put a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you coming down with something, Stephen?" Natalie asked concernedly.
Stephen had to mask his laughter with a cough when he saw Natalie's bright purple teeth. They stood out like a pair of headlights on a desolate highway. He cleared his throat again and looked at Natalie.
"I'm fine, it's probably just some flour I inhaled," Stephen said sarcastically with a pointed glare at Natalie.
"Well, if you come down with anything else let me know," Natalie replied sincerely.
"Will do," Stephen replied.
He quickly took cover in his office and shut the door, giving the lock a twist to ensure that Natalie couldn't get in when she found herself on the wrong end of their prank. Stephen turned around and found Miles sitting in his desk chair.
"Well? Did you do it?" Stephen asked.
"Yes, I did it and then I took cover in here. I figured I'd be safe from her wrath if she had to go around you to get to me," Miles laughed. "If all goes well she should be covered in syrup in three, two, one."
At that moment both men heard a clunking noise as the bucket hit the floor and a scream as Natalie found herself covered in maple syrup. The sticky mess would wreak havoc on her hair which would lead to phase three of their prank. A split second later Natalie was banging her fists on Stephen's office door and yelling.
"You're going to have to open this door at some point, Stephen, and when you do I swear to God you'll wish you never messed with me," Natalie shrieked.
The two men laughed hysterically until they were sure Natalie had gone to wash her hair. They carefully opened Stephen's office door and looked out around the corner. The coast was clear. Miles grabbed the bucket and headed off to wash it out as Stephen mopped the syrup trail Natalie had left behind off of the floor and the walls. After they finished the two men went to the boardroom. The press conference should be starting in a few minutes. They slipped in at the back of the room silently and took their places at either side of the room. The media had all of their cameras and microphones set up and were waiting for the panel to enter through the door at the side of the room. After a few tense minutes the panel filed in, a couple of board members followed by Eva followed by a couple more board members. They all took their seats and Eva turned a furious shade of scarlet when the whoopee cushion deflated. The noise was audible and sounded very convincing. Stephen and Miles were doubled over in silent laughter. Eva tried to get her rage under control and go on like nothing had happened. Unfortunately, the press conference was being televised live, coast to coast. Miles and Stephen watched her intently as she spoke.
"Good afternoon everyone. My name is Eva Rossi and I am a publicity liaison for the National Institutes of Health," Eva began.
Miles and Stephen saw her trying her best not to let her teeth show. So she knew about the purple dye. This had both men clutching their sides and trying not to cry with laughter. They watched the press conference for a few more minutes seeing vividly her purple teeth despite her efforts to conceal them. Frank was a genius. Apparently Eva would have to wait for about a week until the enzymes in her saliva finally digested the dye. Not even toothpaste would take it off. The two men quietly exited the room and headed down the hallway back to Stephen's office. On their way around the corner they ran into Natalie. She had showered, washed her hair and blow dried it. The green dye in the shampoo made her look like she had spinach for hair. The two men burst out laughing and almost collapsed onto the floor. Natalie glared at them with a homicidal twinkle in her eyes.
"You think this is funny? I ran into Eva before the press conference. Apparently we both have purple teeth. Tell me, did you put green dye in her shampoo, too? I'm going to warn her, just in case. The anthrax prank we pulled was funny, this is just downright horrible. I can't believe you two! How long will these dyes last?" Natalie asked angrily.
"The teeth will be purple for about a week. I'm pretty sure you know by now that toothpaste won't get it off. The hair dye, three to four washes with regular, uncolored shampoo. What? We had to get you back for the anthrax prank! We could have been arrested whereas you're just going to look like clowns for a few days. It's almost the weekend, this isn't such a tragedy," Stephen said, still laughing.
"Let me dye your hair green and then tell me it's not a tragedy," Natalie snarled.
She punched him hard in the shoulder before turning to storm off down the hallway. She stopped when she heard Eva's furious voice drift down the corridor. She turned around and saw the other woman approach from the other side of the hall. The two women closed in on the men. They looked like deer caught in someone's headlights. Eva stormed up and slapped Miles hard across the face. Apparently he had forgotten to cross out the 'property of Miles McCabe' written on the back of the whoopee cushion.
"The nerve you have, doing that to me! You made a fool out of me on national television! How could you? I understand that you wanted revenge for the anthrax prank and yes, it was my idea, but this! I can't believe you! If it had sounded fake, like a prank fart then it wouldn't have bothered me but it sounded so real!" Eva shouted furiously.
She was turning crimson just thinking about it.
"And the purple dye in our coffee! How long will it take?" Eva asked.
"A week, more or less," Miles replied.
Eva sighed exasperatedly and turned to face Natalie. The two women stormed off down the hallway, already planning their next prank. At that same moment, Stephen and Miles burst out laughing. Stephen loved having seniority. They couldn't do anything about the pranks, except maybe hate him for a while or go and tattle to Kate. Either way, Stephen could handle it. They would undoubtedly seek revenge, but he would make sure that he and Miles were prepared. A moment later, Frank rounded the corner after having run into the angry women. He looked slightly frightened.
"Man, what they just threatened is worse than castration," Frank deadpanned. "I hope you guys know what you've just done. You've started a prank war of epic proportions. We're all going to end up on the wrong end of a joy buzzer one of these days and everyone is going to blame it on you two. I just hope you're ready. What they were planning didn't sound pretty at all. I'm never, ever, ever helping you guys out again."
Frank shook his head and walked off down the hallway. Stephen and Miles realized that he was right. Eva and Natalie would want their revenge, no doubt about it. All they had to do was stay one step ahead of the girls. If that meant kidnapping and interrogation Frank, well then, they would do whatever it took. In the meantime they had to sit down and start seriously planning out their next prank. Yes, revenge is sweet. Unfortunately, it comes with a large price tag, like, say, revenge from the other side? With that vendetta comes another price tag.
Dignity.
Girls 1 Guys 1
A.N.: How was that one? As usual, thanks for reading guys and please, tell us what you think of the story so far! We'd love to hear your opinions on who should win the prank war and what kind of pranks this war should involve. Thanks and please review! -JnS-