Shinji Has It Bad

(Evangelion- the Questions Part I)

Chapter Two

AN- Thank you for all the positive reviews; sorry for the delay. /AN

…The angel alert klaxon sounded.

Shinji quickly stepped back from Rei. Oh man, what have I done? She's going to hate me now. "Ayanami! I'm… sorry." Shinji blushed deeply. I really did just hug her. What the hell was I thinking? Shinji stared down at his feet. Way to screw everything up. I can't believe I just did that, so suddenly.

"No need to apologize pilo-…Shinji. It was…pleasant." Rei blushed slightly herself. I hugged him back. I wanted to help him with his pain. "The alert; the twelfth angel is here," Rei said, suddenly snapping into a colder, more composed manner. "We need to get to NERV."

"Ah, right." What a bad time for an angel. This all just sucks, this day sucks. "I don't know the way there. Misato always drove us…" Shit, I'm going to have to deal with Misato, and Asuka. Maybe the angel will just kill me on my way there, save them the trouble.

"Come on," Rei said, pulling Shinji out of her apartment and towards NERV.

"Report," Misato yelled, running to her post in the NERV control room.

"A large object has been detected moving into Tokyo 3 at a rate of 2.5 kilometers per hour," Lieutenant Aoba responded.

"The Mt. Fuji observation center did not detect it; it suddenly appeared over the city," Maya added hurriedly. "Target is not displaying evidence of an AT field."

"No AT field?" Misato questioned. She looked up at the display screen to see a large, zebra-striped ball floating across Tokyo 3. "What is the status of the Evas?"

"Preliminary activation for all Evas has begun. Unit 02 will be ready to mobilize in three minutes. The pilots of units 00 and 01 aren't here yet."

Oh shit. Where's Shinji? It's going to be all my fault if he doesn't show. He's probably sitting behind some restraunt, still angry at me and Asuka. I can't expect him to come, not after what we put him through. Misato glanced around worriedly. "Prepare to mobilize unit 02. Tell me when the-"

"Major: pilots of unit 00 and unit 01 have arrived and are in locker room." Lieutenant Hyuga cut Misato off.

"Good. Hold off on launching unit 02; we will mobilize all three Evas at once." Shinji, and Rei, arrived here together. Shinji must have gone to her apartment. Damnit, I am such a moron. I have to apologize to Shinji as soon as this attack is over. Asuka better not cause any trouble up there. Misato paced around for several tense minutes, monitoring the status of the angel.

"Eva unit 00 and unit 01 are now prepared for mobilization." Maya's report broke the tension open into full blown action.

"Right. Launch Eva units 00 through 02." Misato let out a slight sigh of relief when she saw all three units of the Eva series propelled towards the surface on their high speed catapults. I just have to hope that I can hold those kids together long enough to destroy the angel. "Ok. Shinji, Asuka, Rei, you reading me?" All three of the pilots nodded in their video communications windows. "We don't know exactly what this angel does yet, so approach it carefully; no heroics. We need to gauge the angel's abilities before we can determine how to destroy it."

Asuka responded to Misato's commands with a reflexive "Roger," but her attention was focused on Shinji. So, he decided to go play hentai with wonder-girl; I wonder if she got him off with her stare. I can't believe that bastard dared to show his face here. He must think that he's better than us. I'm the better pilot; I think that it's time to prove that you have nothing here, Shinji. "Hey Shinji," Asuka said with false sweetness, opening a communications window with the pilot of unit 01. "Maybe you should take the lead; bust this angel up real fast. It doesn't even have an AT field. How bout it Shinji?" Asuka's voice was full of a cold malice. "Try being a real pilot; maybe then you won't piss everyone off. Or are you just going to apologize to the angel for being so weak when it beats the shit out of you?" Asuka smiled at Shinji through the communication window. It was a smile full of unfounded charm, barely masking the second child's spite.

"Fine Asuka," Shinji yelled back. "I'll show you. You're not the best at everything. I'll defeat this angel." Shinji began to move his Eva forward. "Then we'll see who hates me," he said more quietly, a fierce look in his eyes.

"Shinji, Asuka, stop bickering. We're here to fight the angel; not see who's better." Misato yelled from her post. "You're both on the same side," she added, quieter. "Shinji, you and Asuka are both as qualified-"

"ASUKA'S A FUCKING BITCH," Shinji cut Misato off, rushing forward with unit 01. I'll show them all. Fuck Asuka, and Misato. I'll do this for myself. I'll defeat this angel without help from either of them.

"Unit 00, supporting," Rei said, moving her Eva behind Shinji's. What is he doing? He is letting his rage interfere with the mission.

"Unit 02, supporting," Asuka confirmed. "And ready to pick up the slack when Ikari gets his ass kicked." Stupid twit, he'll rush in and get slaughtered. He deserves it.

"Damnit Shinji," Misato cursed. "Be careful; we don't know what that angel is capable of." Misato looked down to the NERV operators. "What's the status of the angel?"

"Target has ceased moving. It appears to be growing in size. Target is now over five hundred meters in diameter. Still no AT field detected." Maya continued to pound away on her console.

"Shinji, slow down!" Misato did not like how this battle was progressing.. "We don't know what the angel will do if you attack it."

"It'll die!" Shinji screamed, propelling his Eva closer towards the angel. He leveled his Eva's rifle and fired wildly on the target. As soon as Shinji had fired upon it, the angel disappeared. "What the hell? Where did it go?" Shinji, still in his fit of bloodlust, became very confused. "Misato, where the hell did it go?"

"Angel has disappeared," Maya said, scanning her console for some sign of the angel's presence.

"What the hell is it doing, Ritsuko?" Misato asked hurriedly.

"I don't know," the technician yelled back, running frantically to different data consoles. "The Magi are still conferring… Angel has reappeared, directly beneath unit 01!"

"Shinji, get out of there; the angel's right under you!" No! I can't lose him.

"Wha?" Shinji looked down at the shadow of the angel. "What the hell!" His Eva's legs were slowly sinking into the angel. Shinji panicked. "Ah! What the hell! Get me out of here! Help, save me! Rei!" Shinji flailed unit 01's limbs all about, trying to latch onto something firm. "The buildings are sinking too! Damnit! Misato! Help me!" Shinji continued struggling with unit 01, but he kept sinking into what he had thought was the angel's shadow. "Rei, save me," Shinji called sadly across the comm. link.

"…" I knew he would get his ass kicked. Now he goes crying back to wonder girl for help. Asuka stared at Shinji's frantic image in her communications window. "Moron," she said quietly, watching Shinji's panicked face. Wonder girl's not going to save you now; you're dead baka hentai.

Rei began to move unit 00 towards Shinji's sinking Eva. "I'm coming, Shinji." Rei ran unit 00 towards the strange angel. Rei was closing the distance to unit 01 quickly. Unit 01 was sinking into the angel quickly.

"Unit 00 fall back." Gendo Ikari's voice was like a whip snapping. Rei came to a complete halt. Then, Rei began to move forward again. "Unit 00, fall back." The commander's voice was even more firm than it normally was.

"Commander, Shinji's still inside his Eva. I can still get to him." Rei's face was painted with concern. She was torn between following orders, or saving her fellow pilot's life.

"We cannot afford to lose another pilot to this angel. Fall back, Rei."

"God damn you! Father, you bastard!" Unit 01 was almost completely sunken into the angel. Shinji began to cry, cursing his father.

"Commander, we can still get to Shinji," Misato hurriedly began, looking up at the commander.

"No. Recall the other Evas. I shall not waste the lives of two competent pilots to save the life of one who disobeys orders."

Asuka burst out laughing in her Eva's entry plug. "Ha ha ha, you couldn't do it Shinji." Her laughter was the last thing Shinji heard before his communications systems cut out. Misato looked on disgustedly from the bridge.

Asuka was changing out of her plug suit in the locker room. She still wore a smile when Rei walked in. Asuka was never the one to pass up a chance to brag; even to a near emotionless doll.

"A great attempt at heroism that was," Asuka proclaimed to Rei triumphantly. "Baka Shinji goes rushing out for fame and glory and fails miserably. He's probably dead now."

"…" Rei stared at the German pilot as she demeaned Shinji. She is the reason he did that. She is very hypocritical when it comes to other's piloting. Normally she would have been the one to rush into things for her own glory.

"Moron deserves whatever happens to him in there," Asuka continued in a darker tone. "We'll see what glory comes out of it. "

"You are the one who goaded him into it," Rei said quietly, tugging off her plug suit.

"He wanted it," Asuka shot back fiercely. "He wanted them to praise him."

"You are mistaken." Rei stared at Asuka with her dark red eyes. "You are the one who pilots Eva for the praise of others. You are the one who wants their praise. You need it to pilot Eva."

"Shut up," Asuka yelled at Rei. I'm not like Shinji. Damnit! I'm not like him.

"You have to be praised for everything you do. Shinji should be praised for what he does too. You think that you are the only one who deserves to be praised for piloting Eva. That is why you are such a bitch." Rei delivered her speech in the same cold and detached manner she always had.

"FUCK YOU!" Asuka screamed. "I'm not like him at all." She shook with anger, and clenched her fists at Rei.

"No, you are right." Rei continued with a very slight smile. "Shinji is kind. He pilots Eva for other people, and for himself. That is why he deserves to be praised. You only pilot for yourself, for your own self-security. Shinji would not want to see you die like this. You are disgusting." With that, Rei left the locker room, leaving Asuka alone with her words.

"Damn her, perfect ass bitch. I'm not like him. I'm better than him." Asuka clenched her eyes shut to hold back her tears; tears of hate and anguish. Damn it all. Now Wonder Girl is on his side. Bastard charged forward, HE charged forward. It's his fault. He really thinks that he is better than me. Damn him. Asuka was screaming in her mind. Her tears flowed openly, and she stood there and sobbed, for herself.

Gendo Ikari stared coldly over his desk at Misato. The operations director shifted nervously under his cool gaze. "The third child did not arrive with you. Indeed, you seemed surprised when he showed up. Do you have an explanation?" The commander's cold voice rang across his vast office to Misato's ears.

"Shinji and Asuka had a…dispute, this morning. Shinji became upset and left my apartment. I did not have time to locate him before the alert." Misato glanced down at her feet, not wanting to meet that cold stare.

"May I remind you, Major Katsuragi, that you act as these children's guardian. However, if you can not handle the task, other arrangements can be made. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir. I'm sorry. Normally I can keep them under control." Misato shifted her gaze nervously back to the commander.

"But this morning?" Gendo sensed the woman's nervousness.

"I became…it was…," Misato let out a large sigh. "No excuse, sir."

"I see." The commander adjusted his glasses while maintaining his cold stare. "This altercation has affected both pilot's field performance as well as Rei's. That is unacceptable. These children can not be in a position where their home lives affects their ability and judgment to pilot. Due to this, we have no lost a pilot and an Evangelion unit."

"We don't know that yet, sir," Misato hurriedly cut the commander off. "Shinji could still be alive." He better still be alive.

"We can only hope," the commander said in his same icy tone, which betrayed any thoughts of hope in his mind. "For the time being, you will remain guardian for the second and third children. I will leave any discipline necessary up to you also. I do not expect this to happen again.

"Understood, sir." Misato relaxed a little. At least I get to keep them. I really need to make this up to Shinji.

"Now, return to your post. We will revisit this situation again after the angel has been destroyed and unit 01 has been recovered." Gendo gave Misato one last dismissing glance before he returned to his work.

"Yes sir," Misato said, some of her vigor restored as she exited the office. We better recover more than just unit 01.

"What's going on, Rits," Misato asked quietly as she stepped onto the bridge.

"It turns out that the large ball is the shadow of the angel, and the shadow underneath it is the actual angel," Ritsuko explained tiredly.

"What? So where is Shinji," Misato had a very confused look on her face.

"Shinji is trapped in a Sea of Durac, a nearly two dimensional dimension created by the angel. It is only two nanometers deep. The properties of a Sea of Durac can only be explained by discrete mathematics beginning with the assumption that X equals…I lost you four words into that, didn't I?" Ritsuko clearly noticed Misato's dumbfounded look.

"Yeah, pretty much. So, Shinji decided to go for a swim in a different universe, is that pretty much the drift of it?" Misato should have paid a little more attention during college. "So how do we get him out?"

Ritsuko sighed at Misato's simplification of the situation. "The Magi predict that if we deploy all ninety-two N2 mines precisely on a single point of the angel while unit 00 and unit 02 focus their AT fields, the energy accumulated should destroy the angel."

"What about Shinji?" Misato asked worriedly.

Ritsuko sighed. "There is only a twenty-two per cent chance that unit 01 will not be destroyed, and even less of a chance that the pilot survives, and that is only if we carry out the operation before unit 01's life support runs out."

"How soon can we make the preparations?" Misato sounded desperate. She was desperate.

"Five hours, at earliest. Unit 01's battery will run out in ten hours."

"Good. Make the preparations. We will launch the operation as soon as everything is assembled. We need to give Shinji the best chance we can." Misato finished with a note of determination in her voice.

Shinji sat inside his entry plug, awash with cool LCL fluid. The smell of blood was strong in his nostrils. Outside, all he could see was darkness. He didn't want to look at that darkness; to him, it was death. Shinji looked at a watch on his plug suit. Nine hours. In nine hours his Eva's internal battery would give out, and he would die.

"All because of Asuka," Shinji muttered quietly, pulling his legs up to his chest. By now his rage had cooled, but he was still angry with the German girl. Shinji rolled onto his back and stared at the blank ceiling of his entry plug. "Misato too. Why do they treat me that way? I don't want them to hate me. Why does Asuka have to be such a bitch all the time? I didn't do anything wrong, so why do they hate me so much? My one chance to show her up and I fail. Now I'm going to die. Damnit, I just didn't want them to hate me. Asuka, father, Misato, why do they all hate me?" Shinji pounded his fists on his Eva's controls and stared out into the black death around him. The bloody LCL smell filled his senses.

Shinji wanted to cry as he stared at the nothingness around him, the nothingness inside him. He felt so useless now. Maybe I should die. That is why I am here and not Asuka. I should die. I am here to die. Asuka will live, I will die. She won. She finally proved it to everyone. Now everyone knows that Asuka Langly Soryu is the best. Shinji Ikari deserves to die. No one cares about him. Not Misato, not father, certainly not Asuka.

Rei Rei shouldn't care about me either. I am useless, not worth her effort. She can't care about me. Rei No, she doesn't care either. Why should she? Rei should hate me, just like everyone else. Rei Ayanami No, no, no! Even if she did care, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. I'm going to die, and no one will ever have to care about me again. Even if she did… Rei Ayanami "Stop it!" Shinji screamed, clutching his head between his hands. "Just stop it. It is over now. Rei shouldn't have to think about me again. I don't want her to." Liar
"No I'm not. No one should have to remember the useless thing that is me." Rei? "No, not even her. She shouldn't have to think about me again." Why? "Because, I don't mean anything to her. She doesn't want to think about me." You want her "No I don't!" You want her "No! Stop it." You want her "No." Rei "No." Rei "NO!" You want her to care "…Yes." Shinji gasped with the realization. "Rei…I still want Rei to care." Shinji began to cry. His fists clenched his Eva's controls. Rei "Yes." Shinji passed out, as his entry plug lit up and unit 01 activated.

AN- So that is the first part of my next two part chapter. I am really sorry for the long delay. Like, really really ridiculously sorry. Actually, I have had this sitting around about eighty per cent complete for a long time. Again, I apologize.

So anyway, Shinji gets released from the Sea of Durac through his passion for Rei. I could have had his intense anger for Asuka release him, but I decided that this was a better way to forward the ShinjiXRei. Besides, Asuka has her own problems.

The next chapter- Evangelion the questions part two. Will Shinji and Misato make up? Will Shinji confess his feelings for Rei? Will Asuka become any less of a bitch? Find out, in six months time. Just kiddin. I promise to release the next chapter next. Then I am going to write a one shot or three, but then I will get back to this. I swear.