Chance
Chance favors the prepared mind. Can the NIH team handle each other when an April Fools day prank-a-thon goes larger than life? Please review!
A.N.: Hey guys! Julia here! I know it's been a while since the update, but I've been busy! I've been writing some 'Lost' fanfiction. I also promise to update my NCIS fic soon… Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Medical Investigation does not belong to us. Sad, really…
Chapter 5: Itching for Revenge
Miles stood in the middle of the Misercordia hospital in Nevada. The tests he had run on some patients with an unusual strain of some sort of a respiratory disease had all come back inconclusive. He glanced at his watch and wondered where the rest of the team was. They were supposed to meet him early in the morning, but it was noon and they were nowhere in sight. Miles walked by the nurses' desk and flipped through a chart. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and worry. Miles looked up from the chart and noticed the nurses all looking at him suspiciously. He raised a quizzical eyebrow.
"What's wrong?" Miles inquired.
The nurses exchanged nervous glances and backed away a few steps. At the same time, Dr. Close rounded the corner and almost ran into Miles. She had been the one to introduce the cases to him. She surveyed him curiously for a moment.
"What is it!" Miles asked, clearly frustrated.
"Are you alright, Dr. McCabe? You look a little peaked," Dr. Close commented.
Miles looked at her like she was speaking Chinese.
"I'm fine," Miles replied.
Dr. Close brought a hand up to his forehead and pulled back as if she had been electrocuted.
"You've got a fever, Dr. McCabe!" She announced.
Miles looked around at all of the staff. He was sure they had all lost their minds. After all, he felt completely fine.
"Really, Dr. Close, I'm alright," Miles said again.
She looked at him worriedly.
"I'd like to get you admitted and started on prophylactic antibiotics immediately. If you are coming down with what these other people all have then we need to take precautions," Dr. Close said firmly.
She grasped Miles by the arm and led him down the hall and into a private room. Miles was completely confused. What was going on and where was his team?
"What about the patients?" Miles asked.
"I'll take care of them until your team arrives," Dr. Close replied.
Miles sighed and gave up. He would give the woman the benefit of the doubt. He surrendered to her ministrations.
Meanwhile, back at NIH headquarters, Natalie, Eva and Kate sat around the table, laughing hysterically. They had just received a phone call from a nurse at the Misercordia hospital in Nevada. Their plan was going off without a hitch. Miles was now being thoroughly examined by Dr. Close, convinced that he was coming down with a mysterious respiratory disease. The women slowly regained their composure and breathed for a moment. They were all drinking coffee around the table in the board room when Stephen entered, looking confused. The ladies looked up at him curiously.
"What is it, Stephen?" Kate asked.
"Have you seen Miles? It's well past noon and I haven't seen him yet," Stephen explained.
The girls all had to stifle their laughter.
"I'm sure he'll turn up," Natalie said lightly.
Stephen nodded and left the room. All of the women burst out laughing again. Eva decided that now would be a good time to page Miles and let him know he had been set up. She pulled out her phone and dialed in the message before hitting send.
Miles was laying in bed with an IV dripping into his arm and all sorts of monitoring equipment attached to various parts of his body. He looked around as he heard the familiar sound of his pager going off. Miles picked it up off of the table and read the message. It was from Eva.
April Fools!
Miles almost threw the pager against the wall. He pressed the call button by the bed and demanded to be discharged when Dr. Close strode breezily into the room. Miles looked up at her angrily.
"I can't believe this! You were in on it the whole time, weren't you?" Miles asked furiously.
Dr. Close only chuckled as she disconnected all of the equipment and removed the IV line.
Fifteen minutes later Miles was dressed and standing outside of the hospital. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Stephen's number. His superior picked up on the second ring.
"Connor," Stephen stated simply.
"Stephen, you're not going to believe this," Miles began.
"Miles! Where the hell are you? AWOL for half of a shift? It's not like you," Stephen reprimanded.
"Just hear me out. I was set up, Stephen. Eva had Kate phone in to the Misercordia hospital in Nevada to arrange a little 'case' for me. I flew out yesterday evening, expecting all of you to be here this morning. Earlier today the staff had me convinced that I had some mutated form of pneumonia and now I'm standing here with no idea what to do," Miles explained.
Connor thought for a moment.
"I'll arrange a flight out for you later toady. For now just hang tight. Be on the helipad at Misercordia at 4:00pm. I'll have a chopper fly out and get you. Don't worry about revenge, I have the perfect idea," Stephen replied.
Miles sighed as he hung up. It was going to be a long day.
Back at NIH headquarters, Stephen was practically sitting on top of Frank as he explained his plan to the man.
"Now then, listen carefully…" Stephen began.
A few tense minutes later, the toxicologist finally agreed to do Stephen's bidding. It was the least he could do for Miles. After all, what Eva had pulled on him was a prank of epic proportions. Frank stood and left the room, planning to rig the air conditioner in the board room.
In the meantime, Stephen made a quick trip to the joke shop down the street. He returned with an industrial sized bottle of itching powder, a prank doorknob with a powerful battery and a can of sardines.
Back at NIH, Stephen handed the itching powder and prank doorknob to Frank and took the can of sardines outside into the back alley by the NIH building. He put the sardines down on the ground and propped up a wooden crate against the wall. Now all he had to do was wait. After a few minutes Stephen had the perfect opportunity. He kicked the box and trapped two very fluffy albeit dirty cats under it. He tilted the box sideways and picked it up with the cats now inside, meowing discontentedly. He carried the two felines inside and put the box down in the boardroom, under the table. By then, Frank had put the air conditioner grate back on and exchanged the doorknobs. Stephen was careful not to touch the doorknob on his way out. He walked down the hallway and found Eva leaving the washroom.
"Eva! We've got a case coming in. Be in the boardroom in five minutes," Stephen rattled off as he walked by.
Eva sighed and turned away down the hall, heading towards the boardroom.
Stephen waited until she was around the corner before following her. He peeked around the next corner to be sure she was in the boardroom before walking there himself. Eva was seated behind the table, right next to the air conditioner. Perfect. Stephen tossed a file on the table and turned around to leave the room again. He flicked on the air conditioner and shut the door on his way out, ever mindful of the trick doorknob.
Eva's head snapped up from the file as she heard Stephen close the door. Suddenly, the air conditioner turned on and immediately cooled her. That's when it happened. Eva began to feel excruciatingly itchy. She was rubbing her bare arms frantically, trying to stop the insane itching. She looked over at the air conditioner and noticed a fine white powder billowing in with the air. Itching powder. Eva almost shouted in outrage as she manically tore at her skin. She wished then that she had worn a jacket over her sleeveless top. Eva's neck and face began to itch, too. Her arms were getting red and would bleed if she didn't stop scratching soon. Eva's logic finally kicked in and she ran for the door. She grabbed the doorknob and pulled back, letting out an agonized scream. The doorknob was like a giant joy buzzer. Eva couldn't hold on to it for more than a split second, no matter how hard she tried. The electric current was beginning to make her arm go numb.
"What the hell, Stephen!" Eva shouted.
Stephen stood outside the door, laughing.
"That's what you get for sending Miles all the way to Nevada," Stephen said pointedly. "April Fools, Eva."
Eva sighed exasperatedly, not about to beg for Mercy. There was no way that Stephen could take even more of her dignity. At that moment, Eva's nose began to itch. She sneezed violently a couple of times. After recovering from the sneezing fit, Eva glanced around the room. It was silent and she felt something brush up against her ankle. It was then that she heard the meow. Eva rolled her eyes and looked down. Cats. Two of them. Stephen had gotten her good. Eva knew she would look horrible by the end of this. Her arms were red from the scratching, her hands were calloused from the doorknob and her eyes were puffy from her allergies to pet dander. Eva decided that nothing was worth the suffering she was in. She decided to sacrifice her dignity.
"God damn it, Stephen! Let me the hell out of here!" Eva shouted furiously.
"What's the magic word?" Stephen asked, grinning like an idiot.
"Please," Eva said dejectedly.
"Well, since you asked so nicely…" Stephen trailed off. "Give me a couple of minutes. I have to get Frank to ground the current on the doorknob before I can open it for you."
Eva sighed and collapsed into a chair around the table, glaring at her feline companions. She then realized that if she wanted the itching powder to stop slowly driving her insane, all she had to do was flick off the air conditioner switch.
"For God's sake Eva, you're an idiot!" She said to herself.
Eva walked over to the panel on the wall and flicked off the air conditioner. She almost immediately felt the room heat up a few degrees and prayed that Stephen would let her out soon. Just then, she heard a buzz coming from the direction of the door. Eva walked over and stood next to her only way out.
"Stephen?" She inquired.
"It's Frank. Just give me a few more seconds and I'll let you out," he said lightly.
Eva waited anxiously to get out of the room. After all of the horrors she was becoming rather claustrophobic. A few seconds later, the door creaked open slowly and revealed Frank kneeling on the ground having removed the trick doorknob. Stephen was standing behind him ready to burst out laughing hysterically. Eva glared at him as she stepped over Frank and cornered Stephen up against a wall. She stood on her tiptoes as she stared Stephen right in the eyes, a manic glint present in her own.
"When I get through with you, you are going to wish you were dead Stephen Connor. This time you've gone too far," Eva growled menacingly.
She turned on her heel and walked away with an air of anger that almost surged like electricity. Eva continued to compulsively rub at her arms, desperate for the itching to stop. She left Frank to replace the doorknob and Stephen to anticipate her revenge as she stalked off to the locker room to make herself look presentable. She burst in through the doors of the locker room and found Kate talking to Natalie. The two women looked up at Eva and worry creased their brows.
"What happened to you?" Natalie asked the disheveled woman.
"Two words. Stephen Connor," Eva snapped.
"What did he do this time?" Kate queried.
Eva spent a couple of minutes explaining, with a few colorful adjectives here and there, exactly what Stephen had done. It was all because of her little prank on Miles. At least Miles wasn't going to look like a lobster for the next few days. Eva continued to scratch at her arms.
"I'm going to take a shower to get this stuff off. I can't take it anymore!" Eva said exasperatedly.
"A shower won't help. The itching powder is made of the oil derived from poison ivy. You'll be itching for about a week no matter how many showers you take," Kate said apologetically.
"What am I going to do!" Eva groaned.
"Take a shower first, think about revenge in the meantime and when you get out, come and see me in my office," Natalie suggested.
Eva nodded and grabbed a towel and some toiletries from her locker. She needed a plan. Eva thought about all of the cruelties she could commit the next time she saw Stephen and Miles as the water ran down over her body in the shower. Eva absent mindedly rubbed at the itchy spots with a soapy loofah as she concocted their next prank. A few minutes later she was out of the shower, changed and walking towards Natalie's office. She entered with a knock to find Kate and Natalie chatting.
Miles stood up on the roof of the Misercordia hospital waiting for the chopper that would take him back to NIH headquarters. He was curious about what Stephen was up to. He pulled out his phone and flipped it open, dialing Stephen's number. The older man picked up on the third ring.
"Connor," Stephen stated.
"Stephen, its Miles. How are things back at NIH?" Miles inquired.
Stephen chuckled into the phone and explained the entire situation to Miles. By the end of the conversation the two men were laughing heartily.
"Connor, I sincerely hope you're prepared to take another beating by the ladies. I'm certain that Eva isn't pleased right now," Miles said lightly.
"Oh, don't you worry. I'm ready," Stephen assured.
Miles looked up and saw the chopper heading for the hospital in the distance.
"I've got to run, the chopper's here. I'll see you in a couple of hours," Miles said briskly.
"Bye," Stephen replied.
The two men hung up and Miles had never been so happy to see a chopper in his life. He boarded it and started the long flight back to NIH.
Eva looked at Natalie curiously. She eyed the syringe Natalie held suspiciously.
"What's that for?" Eva asked.
"It's a corticosteroid injection. It'll help with the itching. It works for longer than the lotion, which I'll give you in a moment. Come on, roll up your sleeve," Natalie instructed.
Eva sighed and rolled her eyes, taking off her jacket. She looked away as Natalie quickly and deftly injected the solution into her arm. Eva continued to rub at her itching arms for a while after the shot and was relieved almost to the point of tears when the drugs kicked in and she stopped itching.
Miles stepped off of the helicopter and met Stephen on the roof of the NIH building. The two men walked inside and headed for Stephen's office. Stephen sat down in the new chair behind his desk, ever mindful of superglue and faulty, tampered screws. Miles sat in the chair opposite the desk and they both laughed at their misfortunes. Neither of them could know for sure when the end of the prank war would come. They were only certain that they wouldn't lose to the girls. They couldn't lose to the girls. As of now they stood on even ground.
Girls 2 Guys 2
A.N.: So? What do you think? Not as funny as the other chapters, especially those written by Sydney, but still good. Please review! -Julia and Sydney-