I screwed about with the number of days and the actual events, but last chapter was based on the Crucifixtion :P You get half a cookie for Jesus Christ Superstar, though. And it's actually YOU killing the Jellicles! You cruel, cruel people...
-Ahem- Back to this chapter, Macavity was practically screaming to be killed. I think he might be suicidal... Anyways, keepthe crazed Macavity fanqueens locked up so they can't try and kill me, please, 'cause it's time for the Hidden Paw to meet his doom! Mwahahaha...
Disclaimer - I don't own CATS. I do own the ways they die, though...
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How to kill Macavity
On one of your weekly trips to your employer's centre of operation, you see his two most loyal fanqueens ogling pictures of him. You personally don't know what they see in Macavity – as far as you're concerned, he's just a scruffy crime lord with an ego the size of his empire. As you watch the queens practically drooling over the pictures, you are struck with a sudden plan for killing him, a plan so great that you won't have a drop of his blood on you from his incredibly messy death. Unless, of course, you feel the need to get too close.
You approach the fanqueens slowly, knowing from personal experience just how violent they can get when their naughty fantasies of Macavity smothered in catnip are interrupted. They look up as you get closer, watching you with interest to see if you have finally decided to join the ranks of Macavity-fan, instead of Macavity-employee-with-a-grudge-against-your-employer. You ask if you can talk to one of them separately, and they glance at each other before the one you asked to talk to gets up and follows you around a corner.
"What do you want?" she asks, obviously annoyed, so you decide to make this quick.
"I just thought you should know that your 'friend' over there has been seeing Macavity behind your back," you tell the queen.
She looks over to the other cat and glares at her, not questioning what you have said. She turns and walks off in the opposite direction to her friend, also known as the direction that Macavity is in, and you take this golden opportunity. You walk over to the other cat and sit down beside her.
"What?" she snaps at you.
"I just thought you should know that your 'friend', you know, the one you were just talking to, has been seeing Macavity behind your back," you say.
Once again, the fanqueen doesn't bother to question how you 'know' that little piece of false information, or even whether or not it's true. She just goes storming off to find Macavity to confront him about it, and you follow to watch what happens.
You arrive mere seconds after the second cat, but already the two fanqueens are engaged in a vicious tug of war, both of them pulling one of Macavity's arms. Both queens are screaming insults at each other, and Macavity is screaming for them to let him go. The queens both pull harder, both equally determined to have the Hidden Paw for themselves.
A resounding "RRRIIIIPPPP!" echoes through the room and down the corridor, and the queens both fall backwards, both still clutching one of Macavity's arms each. They are each now in possession of one half of the Napoleon of Crime's tall, now even thinner body, and they are both now covered in what had used to be inside of him.
Macavity's not there! He's actually over there. And there. And there…
Whistling a merry little tune, you skip happily back to the junkyard after checking you have no blood on you.
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After all, clean fur is a Jellicle must, otherwise Jennyanydots will come after you with a scrubbing brush. Thoughts on that? Anything I need to change?