Author Note: Hoorah, another installment of the oddest thing I've written for a while. I hope you guys enjoy it. Consider it something to read whilst waiting for the next bit of my other HnG fic.

The still, grey sky tainted the dark green of the forest trees below an ominous black, and left the grass hemming and growing up from between the cobblestones of the national highway ashen. The world through which it travelled and the cart itself contrasted so strongly that the vehicle, drawn by a placid to the point of semi-comatose donkey looked almost ridiculous. It was a covered wagon, made of worn wood, painted various lurid shades of yellow, red and orange. The material used to cover the sleeping area of the cart was dark blue with a rather realistic looking galaxy painted on it, and depending how closely one looked at the formation of the stars, the words 'H & T Amalgamated' could be read.

The two occupants of the cart, both of whom looked no older than twenty, could be heard for miles around as they argued, obviously not caring if they attracted the attention of any highway robbers. The topic of their argument drifted like the clouds above them, from politics to where they were headed, to whose turn it was to cook, and even to whether being elder meant experience or senility. The banter seemed well rehearsed but not quite jovial – they each meant the barbs to some degree, though they were sitting close and obviously had said the same thing before many times.

The familiarity and equality that seemed to float between the two made the two, relatively normal looking on their own, look rather odd. They were polar opposites though both mages, one was wearing a stylish bright yellow robe with black leather over his shoulders and down his arms identifying him as a battle mage, the other in a rather musty looking black robe edged with lace and revealed absolutely no skin from the neck down, and a slightly bent black wizards' hat. The young man in yellow brushed his blond fringe behind his ears to join the rest of his hair, which was black, and made a superior face.

"As a nationally certified Warlock of the High Order of Royal Elementalists, I believe that my opinion is worth more than yours. Therefore, that bird," he pointed towards where the bird would have been, had they not passed it several minutes ago whilst embroiled in a different argument (and seemed vaguely surprised to see it gone), "is obviously a Raven, not a Crow."

The other rolled black eyes in a delicate, pale face and replied waspishly, "I couldn't care less if you're a certified WHORE or an army harlot; I have been on this earth a respectable amount of time longer than you have, and have therefore seen enough birds to know the difference between an intelligent and superior Crow and an overweight Raven."

"So you admit you're older than time itself?"

"Begging your pardon? Time itself? You young upstart!"

The elder, flicking his long black hair was obvious affront, shook the reins without any obvious effect on the speed of the placid beast pulling their vehicle and started to stolidly ignore his passenger.

The yellow-fringed passenger leant forward and stuck his face in the driver's line of vision.

"Akiiiira…"

Blinking slowly, the black cowled one calmly looked through his cheerful friend with an effectiveness brought on by years of experience.

"Aaakiiiiiiiiiraaa…."

The dark figure blinked again, back straight and jaw stubbornly set.

Sudden movement in, the partial blonde pressed a quick and wet kiss to the other's mouth, leaned back out of retaliation range then grinned impishly.

"Touya Akira is the genius Atomic Manipulator of the century."

Taking a moment to recover is wits, Akira nodded grudgingly. "Apology accepted. Sit down now; you're disturbing Ameko."

Flicking the reins again to encourage Ameko the donkey on (still to no avail though neither noticed), Touya Akira, a senior member of the Atomic Alchemist Guild (which normally had as little to do with the opposing guild with the unfortunate initials WHORE as possible) and singularly unimpressive figure, cocked his head absently to one side.

"Do you hear something?"

Hikaru frowned slightly. "Are you sure you're just not going senile?"

Sniffing, Akira raised his chin at the affront. "Unlike some unnameable people, I don't happen to talk to empty air."

"Oh yes? Well I hate to rock your medieval mindset, but familiars are real."

"I refuse to believe it until I see more than half-crazed magicians talking to themselves."

By this point the noise which the alchemist had previously thought he had heard had moved into the league of a dull roar, but was seemingly forgotten for another argument.

The noise of horse hooves, snapping twigs and an almost constant scream for help finally reached a climax as the sources of the cacophony burst onto the road in front of the cart.

Tsutsui, thrown like a sack of potatoes across the front of the saddle, looked up at the wagon, and started to yell even more.

Hikaru watched Tsutsui attempt to escape the horse, get hauled back on and start kicking furiously with the sort of vague interest that one usually watches a bug on a leaf with.

"Hikaru, I think he wants us to help him."

The two-toned mage rubbed his chin thoughtfully as the confused horse, playing host to kidnapper and kidnapped as they struggled, danced back and forth across the road. "I think you're right. But if you look behind the screaming dandy, you'll see that there's more to this," he replied, raising a hand and waving for attention, "Kaga, you found us. Do you need any help?"

Kaga, fist raised and other hand holding Tsutsui up by the collar of his novice robe paused mid-swing, looked up at the two of the wagon, then abruptly go and lowered his hands, ignoring his hostage as he slid unceremoniously backwards off the side of the horse and landed on his rear in the middle of the dusty road. "I think I have this about sorted," he planted a foot firmly on his hostage's shoulder so he didn't think of running, "I just need a place to store this one."

With a disapproving sniff, the dark-haired alchemist leapt with ease from his perch on the rickety wooden seat of the wagon and trotted around to the flap at the back. He pushed it open and half-crawled inside.

Being led firmly around to the back of the cart by a hand clenched in the front of his robe, Tsutsui watched with growing panic as a pair of black-clad legs wiggled, swore in an archaic but violent way then jumped a few feet off the ground with a almighty boom. The shockwave blew his hair out of his face and the end of the few seconds of silence after the explosion was punctuated by the sound of crockery breaking.

"Oh bollucks, I broke the teapot."

The pair of legs wiggled back out of the wagon, and the dark-haired young man attached to them attempted to put his hair back into order. Then with a smile, he held the wagon flap open for them.

"Well, there should be room for you now. Don't mind the smell."

Even with a hand pressing firmly on his back, Tsutsui wasn't moving any closer to the gap in the fabric.

"Oh don't worry, it's perfectly safe now. So long as you don't touch anything."

"Come on, insurance policy," Kaga said with a grin, forcibly dragging Tsutsui into the back of the wagon, "it's not as bad as it looks."

Tsutsui wondered how it could be worse.