Title: The reega made me do it.
Chapter: Oneshot
Author: Bethany16/Zenamydog
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: Wincest
Beta: Wenchpixie
Feedback: Yes Please! Anything constructive is always welcome!
Disclaimer: Don't own them. But sheesh, if I did!
A/N: Second fanfic ever. I'm still learning, but now have this amazing Beta, (Thankyou Wenchpixie) so I am re-posting. I hope you all enjoy it.
Summery: The Aftermath of a "lust" spell, could tare the boys apart forever. (Angst, Angst and some more Angst. Oh, and a tiny bit of Wincest as well)
Dean and Sam sat side by side, on the rickety old queen size bed. They had driven more than 800 miles that day, with only one 'pit stop' and Dean was to tired to seek out another motel, when he was told that this was the only room available. "It's the hunting season." The gruff older man, behind the desk had explained. Dean huffed but couldn't help but grin "Figures" he muttered under his breath.
Sam had grabbed both their duffle bags, locked up the car, and waited for Dean to return. Walking into room 7 first, Sam's eyes focused immediately on the "one" bed. Dean pushed past his brother and sat down on it. "Only room left. It's hunting season." He said, not looking up. Undoing the laces on his sneakers, Dean refused to make eye contact with Sam.
Sam put the bags down, and sighed when he couldn't get Deans attention. He sat down next to his brother; realized he had positioned himself close, but not close enough for their legs to touch.
"Dean? Please… can we try to talk about this?"
Dean barely acknowledged him. Instead he continued to struggle with his shoes.
"We can let this destroy us" Sam kept talking. "Or we can…..I don't know….. try to save what's left of our relationship."
Relationship! Dean's mind howled. It seemed to be the only word that his selective mind would hear. He shot Sam a look that boarded on pure hatred.
"Don't!" Dean said sharply, as he rose from the bed.
Sam watched his brother make his way to the bathroom and flinched when he slammed the door. The whole room seemed to shudder and echo with the force.
For a long time, Sam just stared at the closed door. He wondered if Dean's heart had closed just as fiercely, three nights ago. He was sure that it had.
"God, why did I say that… nice choice of words Sam... Geez I'm an idiot." Sam put his head in his hands. He had absolutely no idea how to fix this.
Dean had taken his time in the shower. He had wanted to give Sam enough time to fall asleep. It was bad enough that he was forced to sleep in the same bed. But the thought of having a 'deep and meaningful' while he was laying next to the man, made his stomach turn.
Dean felt pangs of guilt tighten his chest. He knew he had been harsh on his little brother. "God, this isn't Sammy's fault. I…I just don't know what to do. Shit! He must think I hate him or something. Dean wanted to walk out and tell him just that. Make sure he understood, that he didn't 'hate' him. He wanted Sam to know that nothing…nothing could be farther from the truth. But his own….What was it?… pride, fear, stubbornness, ensured he couldn't. Instead he just sighed loudly, gathered his stuff, and opened the bathroom door.
Three nights earlier.
They had entered the house about 2 hours ago, to set themselves up. They had hooked up the info-red scanners, the low light camera, and laid out their arsenal of weapons. The rock salt or silver bullets would do the trick, but they wanted to be sure, so they had bought the heavier artillery with them also.
The brothers sat on the floor leaning against the wall. The house had been empty for several years and void of any furniture. So they just past the time away pondering what they were up against.
"So what did you say it was again?" Sam glanced briefly over to Dean. "A Reega" Dean said. Have to admit, never come across anything like it."
Dean had been sent co-ordinates from their Dad. What they had discovered was very unusual to say the least. The whole town had seemed to be stuck in a conspiracy of silence. No one wanted to talk about the women who discovered themselves pregnant, or the 3 men who had committed suicide.
"So, what?...These women know who the fathers are Dean. So this thing is not the one impregnating them."
"Yeah" Dean answered. "But it's not always their husbands or boyfriends either." Dean wanted to laugh. It's a Reega. From what I can make out it feeds off of lust."
"So, what about the dead guys?" Sam continued to ask questions he knew his brother had no answers to. "Coroners report show, they really were suicide. I had a look, and I have a tendency to agree.
"Dunno" Dean shrugged. "Just know the trail leads here."
If there weren't traces of sulfur and if the E.M.F. didn't register, then, I'd say we had a case of some loose woman, and some depressed men."
"Well, there was sulfur, and the E.M.F. hit red. So we don't!" Dean sounded frustrated.
"Chill dude" Sam responded. "I'm just saying." Dean looked at his brother, and his eyes softened. "Sorry, I just hate not being able to figger things out…you know? Pregnant woman, lust spell, it figgers, but the dead men?"
"Yeah, I know, maybe its not……" Sam begun. Stopped when Dean held up his finger and said. "Shhh, do you hear that?" "What?" Sam listened intently. Eyes darting around the room.
Dean stood up on guard, and Sam followed him a split second later. The E.M.F. started to click, and both men grabbed and readied there weapons.
"Deannnnnnnnnn" A slow, soft, almost hypnotic voice, filtered into the older Winchester's mind. "Deannn, I'm here to help you. Let me help you." Dean stepped back wide eyed, and looked around expecting to see something.
"What?" Sam was trying to trace the same path as Dean's eyes.
"Cant you hear it?" Dean looked at Sam, and his face confirmed he couldn't. "It..it sounds female."
Sam gave him a strange look, like he wanted to say something smart, or wanted to laugh. But instead he just said. "Where is it?" Can you see it?" Dean shook his head.
"Dean, I'm here, and I'm going to make your wildest dreams come true. I don't want to hurt you. Now put down that nasty gun, and let me take care of you." "Where are you?" Dean responded loudly, a hint of alarm in his voice.
Sam still could not hear or see anything, as he watched his brothers face get ready for a battle.
"It's ok Dean." The voice soothed. "I want you to be happy and I can make it happen for you."
"I'm good as I am thanks" Dean replyed offhandedly. "Are you?" The voice seemed to know something Dean didn't.
"Well why don't you show yourself and we can discuss it." Deans eyes were still searching every part of the room.
"I know what you really want Dean. I know what they all really want." Its voice was taking on an almost seductive tone. "And I can give it to you."
"Ok,… I'll bite,… what do I really want?" Dean asked. "Love" Came the voices reply. And Dean felt like he'd been hit by a bus.
"Love?" The word came out venomously. "I tell you what lady… if that's what you are." He quipped. "It must be some pretty good shit that you're on. Cause I tell ya, you're way off with the pixies."
"What's going on Dean?" Sam questioned urgently. He was watching his brother have a conversation with thin air, and it was starting to unnerve him.
When Dean completely ignored him, he really got worried, so he decided to change tactics.
"Hey" Sam said loudly, stepping in front of his brother. "Why don't you talk to me for a bit. I'm starting to feel a bit left out here."
Dean grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him hard, sideways. "Stay back Sammy!" He ordered.
"Awww how endearing" The voice mocked. "It will be a lot easier than I first thought Dean. It won't take much at all, Sam even less."
Dean's stance stiffened on hearing his brother's name. "What wont? What are you talking about!"
"I don't understand why you all get so upset. It's not as if I'm killing anyone. I only give you enough, so you can go and do what you really want. With the one person you really want it from." The Reega claimed.
Dean glanced at Sam, who was still trying to figure out what was happening, from Dean's side of the conversation. Although Dean was confused, a vague concept was starting to form.
"So….. you've…'helped'… the women in this town with what they want?" Dean asked.
"Yes, of course" The voice sounded, as if that should have been obvious. "Is that why their ending up pregnant? Like a fertility ritual or something?" Dean hazarded a guess.
"Oh no! Nothing to do with me Dean. I just gave them the ability to seduce the one they really wanted. It's not my fault if it's not always their husband, or if they didn't take the proper precautions." And then the penny dropped for Dean.
"Ok" He said slowly. "What about the men who died?" "Did they really commit suicide?" "Of course!" The voice sounded offended this time. "I told you. I don't kill anyone.
"So why did three men kill themselves with a week of each other then?" Dean wasn't quite convinced.
The voice seemed to sigh, and said. "Well, one of them couldn't handle the fact that his wife really loved his brother, and the other two couldn't handle the fact that they really wanted each other. …… Small town like this and all."
Dean raised an eyebrow, and gave a surprised "Oh" He could actually see some twisted logic in this creature's way of thinking.
The entity saw the hint of compassion in Deans eyes, and that was all it needed to take advantage. Needing to be visible to cast its 'lust' spell, the Reega appeared quickly before them. Taking them both off guard.
Sam raised his gun first, but before he could fire he was thrown backwards hard against the wall, the gun flying from his hands. Dean got off one round, before he too, was hurled backwards.
"God." Dean thought hazily. "Why does every dammed thing want to slam us into walls"
Starting to focus, he got himself to his feet. That's when he realized, Sam was unconscious on the floor.
A second later, Dean was beside his brother, gathering him into his arms. "Sammy?..Sam?" His words full of concern. A feeling of relief washed over him when he heard Sam moan. "That's it kiddo, your ok, wake up." Reassuring himself as much as Sam.
A thick green mist started to engulf them both. Looking up Dean could see it was coming from the creature. When Sam started to cough and splutter, Dean was forced him to react.
Letting go of Sam, Dean rolled and grabbed Sam's gun. His hunting expertise ensuring he got off two bullets, before the Reega even noticed the movement.
"Why?" It cried out. Seeming to disappear before Deans eyes. "I only ever gave you what you wanted." Its anguish clear, as it faded some more. "Why?"
Dean stood up, gun still ready in his hand. "Because God even gave Satan free will!" He replied.
Dean noticed that the creatures face seemed thoughtful, as if contemplating Deans words. Then it completely disappeared. He couldn't help but think, this wasn't the worst nasty he'd ever come across.
Moving back to Sam, he helped his brother get to his feet. "You alright?"
"Yeah" Sam answered and then smiled. "Free will huh?" Sam seemed to be impressed.
Dean smirked. "Well the bible is mythology to."
"Come on" Dean said, gathering their stuff. "Lets get out of hear."
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After entering the motel room, Sam propped himself against the door, he felt giddy and sick. Closing his eyes, he willed his legs not to give way. Dean was half way to the bathroom when he turned to see his brother start to slide.
"Whoe there Sammy!" Dean said as he rapped his arms around his brother to steady him. "Think you'd better sit down, before you fall down. You've probably got a concussion." Dean tried to move Sam towards the bed, but Sam didn't seem to want to budge.
Responding to Deans grip, Sam nuzzled his head deeper into the crevice of his neck.
"Hmm, I like the way you smell." Sam said, almost drunkenly.
"Aww Man!" Dean thought. "You must have hit your head harder than I thought." But he didn't move.He tried to ignore the feeling of his brother's warm breath on his neck.
Then he remembered what the creature had said. "I just give them the power to seduce the one they really want." And Dean started to feel a hint of panic. "Nah, no way. Sam couldn't want….That wasn't possible…..Was it?"
"Come on Sam, lets get you into bed" Dean regretted his choice of words immediately.
"Sounds good" Sam grinned, allowing himself to be guided to the bed.
Then as Dean lowered him, Sam twisted, and in split second Dean was flat on his back with Sam on top of him, effectively pinning him there.
"What the fuck." Dean complained, looking up into his brothers face. "Get off of me Sam!" Dean was now angry. More for being caught off guard, than anything else.
"No" Sam said simply and started to kiss Deans exposed neck.
"Jesus Sam!" Dean said as he started to struggle. He was acutely aware that he could, at any time, use force to remove Sam if needed. "Come on Sam. This is that Bitch's influence, not you." He tried to convince his brother to stop.
Sam continued to assault Deans neck. Ever so softly he kissed, nibbled and licked, making his way to Dean's ear. Dean knew he could over power Sam, but…and then it hit him, that maybe he didn't want to. "Shit! This isn't happening." Dean felt the start of arousal.
Sam lifted his head enough to look into Deans eyes. They were all pupil, and he felt like he could get lost in them forever. "Dean" He whispered. Then he lent down and put his mouth to Dean's lips.
At first Deans mouth remained closed, he really wanted to resist. Sam licked them and used gentle pressure to part them. Then like a wave sweeping over him, Dean seemed to loose himself in the taste of his brothers mouth. Tongues darting, exploring, deep and urgent. Dean had succumbed.
It wasn't until he heard a moan escape from Dean, that Sam sat up. Still straddling Dean's hips, he removed his jacket and T-shirt. Pulling at Deans top, he prompted him to do the same.
Dean wasn't sure how long it had taken to get to this point. It was lost in a hazy explosion of heat and lust. But as he looked down at his brother, with his hot wet mouth rapped around his cock, he didn't care. "Oh my God Sam" came his breathless moan.
Gripping Sams hair with both hands, he arched. He couldn't remember this ever feeling so good. "I must have died back there, and gone to heaven."
Sam moved up Deans body and kissed him again lightly on the lips. "I want you to fuck me" He said. "I want you inside of me" He continued, almost pleadingly.
Dean cupped Sam's cheek with his hand. "Are you sure? I,…I couldn't bare it if I hurt you."
Sam smiled and gave Dean a funny look. "What?" Dean asked. "Think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Came a smirky reply.
Leaning down and reaching into his duffle bag, Dean couldn't help but give a little laugh. When he pulled out the KY jelly, Sam raised an eyebrow.
"And, you're a good boy scout." Sam joked. "Always prepared."
Dean gave a cheeky grin and motioned for Sam to turn over. When Sam went to do so, Dean grabbed his arm.
"You… are sure… you want this, aren't you?" A more serious look on his face now.
But it was Sam's eyes that conveyed more than his words ever could. Bright, wide, and so full of love, Dean almost lost it. "More than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life" Sam said quietly.
Their love making was slow and tentative at first. The softness in Dean's touch, filled Sam's heart, like it was about to explode. He'd never thought of Dean as a gentle lover.
It wasn't until Dean was sure he wasn't hurting his brother, that he started to rock. Gaining entrance with each little push. Sam moaned, and it took all of Deans will power, not to cum there and then.
"Please Dean" Sam panted. "Do it, fuck me now, I want it, ahhh, I need it." And with that, Dean pushed. Rapping his hand around Sam's cock, loosing all inhibitions, as he went deeper and deeper into his brother.
Dean blinked and swallowed hard. He felt dizzy, and then……
Every emotion he'd ever felt for Sam came spilling over, overpowering him with a force he didn't understand, and he totally lost control.
'Thrust'… Anger… 'Thrust'… Betrayal…. 'Thrust'…Pain… 'Thrust'… Fear… 'Thrust' "Oh God!" Dean cried out loud. 'Thrust'… Love!
Then his body tightened, and he was reduced to a withering, flailing, jerking idiot, with the power of his orgasm, Dean knew he would never experience this kind of fulfillment again.
Sam followed him, only a moment later, and Dean wanted to laugh, when he really did hope, it had been as good for him. Totally spent, Dean collapsed beside Sam.
Sam slowly turned to face his brother, and Dean could see he was in pain. "Shit, Sammy!" Deans worried look asked the question.
"I'm ok" Sam said.
"Let me see." Dean said urgently, starting to rise. Sam reached out and pulled him back. "I'm fine …. really,… and its Sam." He added, knowing his brother would know he was ok then.
Bodies close, arms and legs entwined, both men started to drift off to sleep. Dean knew he had to say it. He knew he would never get another chance like this. He knew that if it wasn't now, it would be never. Keeping his eyes closed, he whispered out. "I love you Sam."
Sam's eyes sprung open, and he saw the peaceful look on his brothers face. God, how long had he waited to hear those words. "I know" He reached out and touched Deans cheek. "I love you too."
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The next morning when Sam woke, Dean was already in the shower. His ass was sore, and it took him a moment to realize why. "Shit!" He remembered. "Shit Shit Shit" Oh my God…. Me and Dean….. "Shit!" He said out loud this time.
Sam got out of bed and dressed as quickly as his 'injury' would allow him. "Injury? Sam questioned himself. No…no, this wasn't an injury. And even if it was. It was a goddammed self inflicted one"
When Dean came out of the bathroom, he froze mid step, expecting Sam to still be sleeping. All the confused thinking and planning in the shower, still hadn't prepared him to meet the questioning look on his baby brothers face.
For a long moment they both didn't move, and they could almost see the previous nights events playing out in the others mind, gently reliving it in their eyes. "Dean" Sam said nervously, taking a step towards his brother.
Sam saw it happen. He could almost pinpoint the moment, the second, the instant Dean slammed shut. "Good, you're up." Was all he said when he turned away. "Get your crap together, were leaving." Dean ordered.
Picking up his bag and the keys to the impala, Dean headed towards the door. "Dean!" Sam tried again.
Turning on his heal, Dean whipped around so fast, he caused Sam to take a step backwards. Hand held up, he bellowed. "No!" Seeing the fear in Sam's eyes, his voice dropped slightly. "No. Not now. Not ever." And he walked out to the car.
So begun the next 72 hours of silence and heartache for the Winchesters.
PRESENT DAY
Walking out of the bathroom, Dean looked up and gave a silent "Thank you" when he saw that Sam was already in Bed, and his breathing indicated he was asleep.
Crawling in beside him he placed his knife under the pillow, and switched off the light. "I'm sorry Sammy" He thought, as sleep was starting to take him. "None of this is your fault……It's mine."
Dean looked at the clock when he heard the soft click of the bathroom door close. It was 2.47am. Thinking his brother was just going to the toilet, Dean turned over and went back to sleep.
The next time Dean woke it was 4.36am, and he could still see the crack of light, shinning from under the bathroom door. "Sammy?" Dean looked at the empty bed, and then back to the bathroom.
Sighing heavily Dean got up and walked to the bathroom, tapping lightly on the door. "Sam? Sam are you ok in there? You've been in there for almost 2 hours."
When he got no response, he knocked louder. This time trying the door, only to find it was locked. "Sam! Open the door!" Concern rising, when again he was met with silence.
"Damm it Sam! Open up now or I'll bust the bloody thing down!" "Go away!" Came the muffled voice from inside the bathroom. And Dean sighed with relief.
"Sammy, come on, open the door and let me in." Dean pleaded, less urgently this time. "I said go away!" Sam's voice was louder.
Looking at the lock on the door, Dean knew it wouldn't take much to slide it open. So he went to the bed to retrieve his knife. Lifting his pillow, he gasped, the knife wasn't there.
"Fuck!" he screamed, running and kicking the bathroom door with such force, it almost came off its hinges, breaking the lock easily.
Sam was sitting on the floor, knees to his chest. His eyes red and puffy from crying. Dean's knife positioned closely beside him. He hardly reacted to Deans dramatic entrance.
"Sam?" Dean asked, trying to control his quickened heart rate. "What are you doing?" his gaze shifted to the knife.
When his brother didn't answer, Dean took a step forward, and Sam moved his hand to the hilt of the knife. Dean froze.
"Ok" Dean said slowly, wanting to hide the shear panic he felt. "I'm just going to back up a bit, and sit down." Dean seemed to be asking for permission, so Sam gave him a slight nod.
Dean sat down, back to the wall, curling his legs behind him. Dean knew this would give him extra lunging power, if he needed to get to Sam quickly.
The problem was, so did Sam. "Straighten your legs out in front of you" Sam said. His voice devoid of any emotion.
Dean couldn't help but grin. "I taught him well." Bringing his legs around, he said. "So, are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?"
Sam just sat there, with his head lowered. Several minutes pasted. "Sam?" But Dean still got no response.
"Sam, please, whats this all about….talk to me." Sam's head shot up, and the look on his face changed from somber to anger.
"Talk to you?" Sam scathed. "Talk to you! Are you fucking kidding me?" His voice began to get louder.
"All I've wanted to do was talk to you!" He almost gasped. Taking on a more bitter tone now, he continued. "But no, not Dean Winchester, not the great, unemotional, unforgiving, unmovable Dean Winchester!
No, he doesn't do 'talk'. He doesn't give a shit about words and there meaning! He doesn't care about saying I love you one moment and then I hate you the next!
Jesus Dean! Did you really think that all of this" He motioned with his hand. "would just go away? Well, I'm here to tell you, it fucking wont!"
Dean wasn't looking at Sam's face. He couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from the fact that Sam was white knuckling the knife. He heard every word his brother had said, but all he could think, was that Sam wanted to use that knife, that he wanted to stab Dean through the heart.
He realized, with a touch of irony, that at that very moment, he probably would have let him.
After all, isn't that what he had done to Sam, with his words, or lack of them.
Forcing his eyes upwards, knowing tears were beginning to form. Dean almost whispered. "I never said I hated you."
"I've got use to your non verbal communication Dean. You didn't have to!" Sam spat.
Deans mind reeled. He couldn't seem to focus. "God Sammy, surely you know. Christ, you have to know I don't hate you. I love you man, more than anyone…. even Dad." But all that came out was; "You're wrong."
Sam noticed the single tear that had escaped Deans eye, and he could see the anguish and pain in them.
Yes, he really could read his brother. It caused Sam to re-think his anger, and to ponder his initial depression.
"I get it, ya know" Sam said, dropping his gaze to his hands. And Dean looked at him, but didn't say anything. "Wanting someone, knowing it's not right…..having feelings you shouldn't…..I get why those men killed themselves." He continued.
"Ahh" Dean let out a breathy sob, feeling like his heart was about to snap in two. "No" He panted. "God Sam, no." Tears began to flow freely down his face. "Fuck, Sammy, what have I done to you."
Shifting ever so slightly forward, he prepared himself to make a dive for the knife. If Sam tightened his grip, moved, or even flinched. Dean would pounce.
Deans body language was so subtle, that anyone but Sam, wouldn't have had a clue. But Sam understood what Dean wanted to do, and so he made sure he didn't make any sudden movement.
Feeling like he had been backed into a corner, Dean thought he would give honesty a try. "Please Sam. Will you…..will you just give me the knife. Cause I tell ya, after what you just said,…..I'm freaking out here."
Sam wasn't sure what made him say it, he wasn't even sure if he really meant it. He didn't understand why he felt the need to torment his brother, but he did it anyhow.
"We'd both be better off you know." Sam glanced up and saw the blood drain from his brothers face. "At least then" Sam faulted. "At least then, I wouldn't be a constant reminder of what we did. You could forget."
Sobs started to escape from Deans mouth. "Forget?" He was trembling now, as he fought so very hard to hold on to any aspect of control. "I will never forget it Sam. God, how could I? You don't just forget something like that. It…" Dean sobbed. " It was…."
Dean opened his mouth, but didn't seem to be able to finish. So Sam did it for him.
"Yeah I know,…. disgusting" Sam face contorted, and he looked away.
"Amazing" Dean contradicted, and he felt an odd sense of relief, at having said it.
Sam's head snapped back, and his eyes widened in disbelief. "What?" Sam's heart began to pound. "What!"
"Then why?" Sam continued. Wanting to know, but starting to feel angry again.
Dean heard the change in his brothers tone. "Why what?" he questioned.
"Why do you act as if you can't stand the sight of me? Why do you ignore me, and shun me? Like I'm some sort of leper." Sam lowered his head. "Why do you blame me?"
Deans eyes widened. "What? Blame you?...No, I….I don't blame you Sam." He spluttered. Gaining a bit more control, he added, "If anything, it was totally my fault."
Sams look told Dean he didn't believe him.
"Look,….Sam. Whatever that 'Reega' did to us, whatever spell it put on us" Dean shrugged and gestured with his hand. "Well, whatever it did, you got a hell of a lot more of it than I did."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Sam asked, going on the defensive.
And at that moment, Dean knew. It was crunch time. He knew he would have to find the words. He knew he had to tell Sam.
He knew by telling Sam, he could loose him. But if he didn't, he would loose him anyhow. He couldn't let that happen. He knew he had to confess.
Taking a Deep breath, Dean tried to contain the tremble in his voice. "I woke up."
Saying it so low, Sam didn't quite hear. "What? You What?"
Dean let out his held breath and said it again. Louder this time. "I woke up."
"What do you mean you woke up?" Sam was clearly confused.
"I mean" Dean could not believe he was about to actually say this. "at first, I got caught up in the spell. But…." Dean looked up to gage Sam's reaction. "But it wore off."
Sam didn't quite comprehend what Dean was saying at first, but then all of a sudden he did.
"When?" Sam gasped. "When did it ware off?...Exactly?"
Dean swallowed hard. He really didn't think he could say it.
Sam stood up suddenly, and Dean was grateful he had left the knife on the floor. "When Dean?" Sam demanded.
Dean got to his feet slowly. "Just before….." Dean stumbled over his own tongue.
"Before what Dean?" Sam felt like he was going to hyperventilate.
"Before we actually….just before I…." Unable to finish, Dean looked at his brother seriously.
"I'm so sorry Sam. It was the spell, and then it wasn't and…and I just stop."
Before Dean could say another word, Sam grabbed Dean by the collar and pushed him to the wall.
"It was you! Sam screamed. It was you, not the spell!" Sam wasn't sure if he was asking or telling Dean.
"Yeah" Dean said plainly. And Dean's hunter instincts told him what was about to happen. His auto response was to defend himself, and Sam probably wouldn't have had a chance to connect. But instead Dean just stood there.
Sam let fly with his right fist, and hit Dean squarely in the mouth. Blood splattered as his lip was split in two. He fell down hard to the floor.
Dean dabbed at his lip with the back of his hand, watching his brother, fists clenched, tremble with rage.
Dean slowly got up. "You know what Sammy" Dean felt like wanted to cry again. "If you wanna, you can hit me again, you can just keep hitting me. I wont stop you. But….when your finished" Dean swallowed. "I hope you'll find a way to forgive me."
In the mitts of all that was going on. Sam found it hard to concentrate. "Why did you tell me this. It makes no sense." He thought.
As if reading his brothers mind. Dean began. "I acted like I hated you. But really, I hated me. I mean……….I'm not Gay man, I….I like woman. And you're my brother and…."
Sam put up his hand and indicated for Dean to stop. He was no longer angry. "Just tell me one thing."
"Well, as you can see, I'm in the sharing and caring mood. So.." Dean tried to joke.
Sam couldn't help but smile a little. "Just before we fell asleep. That was you? That was you that said… I love you?"
Dean felt his cheeks redden a little. He wanted to look away. But he didn't. "All me." He replied softly. Giving Sam a lopsided grin.
Both men just stood there for the longest moment, staring. They weren't sure what came next.
"So….." Dean was the first to speak. "Are we going to be ok?" Dean held his breath waiting for Sam to answer.
Still holding eye contact, Sam said. "Yeah…..I think so." And Dean let out his breath in a deep sigh.
"As long as we never have to talk about it again." Sam added with a weak smile.
Deans heart filled with more love than he knew how to handle. He knew that that was for him. Sam's way of saying he forgave Dean. His way of protecting him from more pain.
"Deal" Dean said, smiling to. "You grab a shower, and I'll go get us some breakfast."
Moving to the door, he stopped. "And Sam." Dean said, with a mischievous grin. Sam looked at him questionly. "Best dammed head job I've ever had." Dean closed the door before Sam could react.
Leaving Sam stand there, grinning from ear to ear. Shaking his head.
"Yes" Sam thought. "We will be ok. It might take a while. But we will be ok."
THE END.
A/N: Hope you liked it all. Really would love to know what you thought. Proberbly not the most original concept, and only my 2nd ever fanfic. But I had fun writing it. R&R Please!
Now that its been Beta'd and if there are any requests, I may do a sequal. ? What ya think?