The Chief stepped out of the sperm dumpster nightclub, walking funny.

Mc: I can't believe it! Out of nowhere, some one eyed snake attacked my ass! It spit in there and just left! How the hell does that happen?

Cortana: that wasn't a snake chief, it was a...you know what, you go ahead and think it was a snake. You don't want to know anyway.

Interrupting the chief's rape story, a scared marine came over to the wobbling chief.

Marine: Sir! We have a...what you get butt fucked? Anyway, chief, the covenant has a giant cannon, a whammy kablammy, on this street and we need to destroy it.

Mc: Will I get a happy meal if I do it?

Marine What? A happy meal? ummmm...no?

MC: MOTHER FUCKIN SHIT! GODDDAMN I WANT A FUCKIN HAPPY MEAL OR I'LL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR FUCKING NECK YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF FUCKIN SHIT BITCH! FUCK!

Marine: (stares for ten seconds in confusion) ooookay, okay I'll get you a happy meal.

Mc: (clicks heels) YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

The chief then ran over to the marine line, skipping happily with the thought of those delicious fries. Commander grizzly Adams led the marine forces.

Grizzly Adams: Okay, here's the plan. My trained lice will lead the charge, and my fleas, ticks and scabies will protect the rear. any questions?

The marines stood there, until one spoke up.

Marine: yeah, 2 questions. One, why the fuck are you hear? didn't your show get cancelled over 500 years ago? And two, have you ever bathed?

Grizzly: errrm, because the author of the story is retarded and no, I haven't.

Marine: Forget him chief. Here's the real plan. We'll rush in and sodomize the elites. Then you shoot the bazooka launcher at the whammy kablammy when we say "cumsplatter". Got it?

Mc:uh, yeah. Let's go.

Marine: Okay men, let's make the bravest charge ever! Who's with me?

The marine cheered, and all skipped gracefully into the covenant.

Elite: Well jerk me off and call me sandy, the humans are attacking!

Grunt: sir, why do you always talk like that?

Elite: Did I tell you to stop down there? (shoves grunt's head back into crotch)

The battle then started, and cockslaps and rapage was everywhere. The chief was in position with his bazooka launcher, until he heard music coming from behind him.

chief: YAAAYYY! ICE CREAM TRUCK!

The chief than dropped his gun and ran towards the truck.

Mc: I'll have a caramel swirl please!

Cortana: chief! CHIEF! Are u crazy!

Mc: what?

Cortana: Look at what you're doing! What r u an idiot?... your supposed to buy the chocolate instead.

The chief bought his ice cream and went to eat it.

Marine: Okay here's our chance. CUMSPLATTER CUMSPLATTER! Cums...mppph (get giant 3 foot elite cock inserted into his mouth) ooooo, I likey!

elite: Yeah, that's right human, cumsplatter (shoots his load in marines mouth)

MARINE2:God where's the chief! I swear if he's wacking off again...

the chief just sat on the street corner, his visor covered in ice cream.

Cortana: You know, you could've taken your helmet off to eat.

Mc: no! The world can't see my horrible acne! I'm hideous! (begins to cry uncontrollably)

Cortana: Uhhh...yeah, whatever pussy. Wait! What about the marines?

Mc: oh I'm sure they're fine. (all the marines lay dead in giant pools of there own blood and semen)

Mc Oh well, they were fags anyway.

Cortana: well what now?

Mc: To the bat mobile! (Bat mobile rides up with kick ass hydraulics) Let's go pic up some fly bitches!

Cortana: For shizzle, nigga.

okay thats it. leave me good reviews, or i'll get my homies to ride up on you in a drive by...bitch.