Yeah ,this shit is still going, and it's still illmatic.

The chief walks away from the smoldering remains of a car, while Cortana yells.

Cortana: Way to go, assfuck! I told you not to blast the Mike Jones so loud, but nooooooooo! Hey chief, are you listening to me?

Chief: (badly rapping) Back then hoes didn't want me, now I'm hot, hoes all on me!

Cortana: Chief shut up, or I'll make you watch Gigli on your visor.

Chief: OH GOD NO! NO! I'LL DO ANYTHING!

Cortana: Good. Now let's look for...OMG! Look!

The chief looked up to see a large covenant ship, with a small crack in it opening up in the shape of an anus. Then, a booming covenant voice boomed out of the ship!

voice: Puny gaylords! We have come for our sweet buttsex, but our dicks lay tired, and we are bored pf human anuses. In I hour our cannon Will cover your pathetic city in plasma! Peace bitches! WU TANG!

The chief just looked up, in horror.

Cortana: OH NO! OH NO!

Chief: OH NO! OH NO!

Cool aid guy: (Crashes through wall!) OH YEAH!

Chief: GODDAMN COVENANT! (Throws grenade into cool aid guy).

Cool aid guy: OOOOOH NO! (Blows up)

Cortana: Chief! He was a good guy. He brings enjoyment to all the kids living in the projects who can't afford real juice. Why did you do it?

Chief: Fuck cool aid! Tang is the shit!. Okay, let's get to work.

The chief and Cortana magically board the vessel, cause I'm to lazy to write the in between. They stand on the entrance from the grav lift, surrounded by covies.

Chief:well...fuck.

Elite: ha ha! (wips out cock) ear, ear, rubber nose. Now I'll show you where the fat snake goes!

Chief: That what you think. Prepare for my secret weapon (stretches out hand) WIND TUNNNEL!

Everyone just stand silent, as nothing happen.

Cortana: (whisper) watching to much inuyasha again chief?

Chief: wait, I'm not miroku? Well...fuck...again.

Elite: Okay, die fucker!

out of nowhere, a mysterious yellow ninja shows up, kicking the shit out of all the covies. They quickly run away, their urine trails behind them.

Chief! Holy shit! Scorpion! I loved in you in mortal kombat!

Scorpion: Get over here! (Shoots line into chief and pulls him close and whispers) Cause I want your hot body!

Chief! Ummm, can we just be buddies?

Scorpion: Butt buddies?

Chief: Fuck no! (Shoots scorpion in face). Master Chief wins! Fatality, bitch!

Cortana: damn, you sure like killing things. Okay, let's get to the cannon control room.

Chief:duh,okay.

Again the two magically show up there, cause I don't have the talent to write a simple action sequence.

Cortana: Okay, now you just have to get by those four silver elites and we can deactivate the cannon. How are we going to get past them.

Chief: I know! (takes out crack pipe) This always works!

The chief then smoke 5 kilos of crack, while Popeye music plays out of nowhere.

Chief: WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I"M GONNA KILL YOU! THEN I'LL SUCK YOU'RE DICKS FOR CRACK MONEY!

The chief then randomly charges in, get shot from all directions. Luckily for him, he was waaaaaaaay to high to feel pain, and he killed all the elites with his bazooka blaster.

Chief: Oh shit, I lost my high. Now I'm really depressed. (cries uncontrollably)

Cortana: Hold on, pussy, let me deactivate this switch...and there! Turned off. Now cheer up. I'll buy you some ice cream.

Chief: YAAAAAAAAYYY!

Okay, that's it. If you don't review, I'll shoot you're dog with a longbow.