The scene begins with the master chief in a job placement office.

Chief: Cortana, tell me why I need to get a job again.

Cortana: well, first off, you have a horrible meth addiction to feed, you have to buy your medicine for menopause, and you have countless subscriptions to…..uh… "alternative entertainment" magazines.

Chief: Oh, like Boy-Cow Love Monthly and Cyborg Crotch Itch Quarterly?

Cortana: Sadly yes. You're a sick fuck.

Chief: Eh, it beats fucking platypuses.

Cortana: What?

Chief: Nothing.

As the chief fantasized about his sexcapades involving egg laying mammals, the job placement officer entered the room.

Officer: Hello, Mr. Chief. I'm Jenny, and I'm gonna get you a job today. First let me ask you some questions.

Chief: before you ask. I already have the answers; yes, it's that small, yes, there are three of them, and no, I've never done coke off a dog's ass…..twice.

Officer: uhh….actually I was gonna ask you what your highest level of education was.

Chief: well, I graduatationed from high school. I did passing with honorable honors cause I is smart back then.

Officer: …..yeah, are you sure you graduated from high school? Who was our first president?

Chief: 17

Officer: ookkay… so pretty much you're retarded.

Cortana: don't be too hard on him. He's never been the same since him beating Sergeant Johnson in a plutonium drinking contest.

Chief: speaking of beating Sergeant Johnson, I was watching a Shakira video with some lotion nearby and…

Officer: alright, alright! Mr. Chief, do you have any previous work experience?

Chief: well, I was a major consultant for the coca-cola company.

FLASHBACK!

The chief is in a board room with key coke executives.

Head executive: Mr. Chief, are you sure this new product is a good idea?

Chief: Of course! Trust me; New Coke is gonna be famous forever, like betamax and 8-tracks. We'll be richer than ever!

FLASHBACK OVER!

Cortana: What did you do with the money from that job?

Chief: I invested it all in fanny packs and Sega Deamcasts.

Cortana: I can't believe you're not homeless.

Officer: Well chief, I'm sorry, but the only job I have open for you is…..well, there's an opening in the military for a special ops commando fighter. Think you can do it?

Chief: are you crazy? What do I look like, some kinda cyborg? I'm outta here.

That's it. Leave good reviews, or I'll get the rest of the power rangers and we'll kick your ass….that's right, I'm the pink one.