Attack of a Bench

It was Thursday, just after lunch, and Josh's meeting on the hill had gone well. He was swaggering the way only he could as he waked out of the capitol building, down the stairs and headed back to the white house. It was a clear, cold day and the sun was shinning bright. The weather only added to his jubilant mood.

'I'm good' He thought to himself. 'Now if I could just rid the world of Republicans altogether this would be excellent.'

A grin spread across Josh's face as he bounded down the last few steps and onto the walkways. Josh's mind was already wrapped around bigger plans as he continued his walk back to work. In his own mental world, he failed to see a bench before him.

Josh collided with the bench at full speed and completely unaware that it was coming.

"What the? Where did that come from?" Josh wondered aloud.

"You know, you should really pass a law condemning benches that sneak up and attack people. In broad day light no less."

Josh looked to his right, to the other side of the bench. He stopped rubbing his shin, now throbbing with what he was sure was going to be a nasty bruise. The sight of Juliana at the other end of the bench made him grin and grow red with embarrassment all at the same time.

"You went to Harvard. You work in the white house, but you can't see a park bench right in front of you? And to think that you run our country! Fabulous!" Juliana chided.

"Hey. First of all, it snuck up on me. It was a completely covert assault. And second of all…well, I just didn't see it there."

Josh looked down at Juliana. He was struck by how odd the sight before him seemed. Juliana was sitting on the bench with her legs curled up underneath her, reading.

"It's the middle of the day and you're just sitting out here? Shouldn't you be working on something that will bring about the end of the world?" Josh couldn't help but smile, his good mood hadn't dissipated. He noticed how unimpressed Juliana was with his comment and curiosity got the better of him. "What'cha reading?"

There was an unusual shuffling of papers as Juliana tried to conceal her what she was reading. "I'm looking over a briefing memo on immigration and border control." Juliana replied casually.

"Yeah? And what does Martha have to say about desperate workers coming to our country for a better life?" Josh said as he grabbed Martha Stewart Living out from behind some memos in Juliana's hands.

"Fine. You caught me. I was enjoying a diet coke, which you knocked over by the way in your latest attempts at grace, and catching up on Martha. Sue me, I like to be a well organized, well decorated, well fed girl."

"You know, I was going to track you down this week to talk about the thing."

"No Josh." Juliana cut him off.

"No, I think now's the perfect time. Here we both are, with spare time and nothing else to do."

"I said no!" Juliana's voice went a little higher and louder this time. A few people turned momentarily to look.

"No, really, let's talk. It beats setting up a meeting, which you will inevitably be too busy for."

"Josh, can you not see that I am on a break? I don't know if you have ever heard of them, but breaks can do wonders for your mental well being. This is my time. Once a day I take a break and spend time doing what I want to do. Today, I'm taking time to drink my diet coke, enjoy the natural world around me and learn how to…" Juliana looked down at her magazine, "learn how to recycle my old wool coats and slacks to make woven winter scarves."

"Enjoy nature? Please"

"There's a tree over there. I see grass under this bench. This is nature. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!"

Josh had a hearty laugh.

"So, this means that we can't have a meeting, right here in the middle of your so called nature, to talk about…"

"No! Get a clue and leave me alone. I'm learning about woven scarves."

Both Josh and Juliana stopped talking. Josh stared at Juliana and Juliana stared at Martha Stewart Living. Josh walked away, still chuckling to himself. He was back only moments later and as he handed Juliana an unopened can of Diet Coke, he started talking again.

"You do realize how foolish that sounds, right? Turning your old pants into a scarf?"

Opening her diet coke and smiling her thanks up at him, Juliana laughed nervously, "Yeah. Plus I'm beginning to realize that I'd need to quit my job to have time to make these scarves. Otherwise I might get one finished by the time the next ice age rolls around. I'm thinking of switching to the oatmeal cookie recipes in the front of the magazine. According to Martha if I use old-fashioned rolled oats, it will produce a heartier texture to my cookies. I'm willing to give these a shot."

"I didn't realize that you and Martha Stewart were on a first name basis. She's evil you know, telling everyone that they too can have a perfect closet and herb garden." Josh teased.

"Joshua Lyman, I'm fairly sure that you wouldn't know 'a good thing' if it bit you in the ass. Look at that," Juliana said looking at her watch, "my break is over. I'll see you around."

Juliana didn't wait for Josh to reply. She simply placed her magazine into her bag, picked up her diet coke and started walking away. Josh stood next to the bench and observed Juliana as she walked away. As if on cue, his shin began to pound again and he was reminded that he was supposed to be walking back to work.

Just before turning to walk back to the white house, Josh shouted after Juliana, "Save some cookies for me!"

"No." Juliana yelled back, turning around for only a few seconds while still walking away. Then she added, "According to you they're evil."

Juliana disappeared from Josh's sight and with a larger grin on his face and even more of a swagger he sauntered back to work.

Two days later, Saturday morning, Josh was sitting behind his desk reading and rereading a memo.

"Josh!" Donna hollered at Josh from outside his office. Startled, Josh jumped in his chair, whacking his leg against his desk in the exact place where a bench had attacked it two days earlier.

"Ow!" Josh exclaimed. He leaned over to rub his leg, willing the pain to go away. "Donna, this desk is dangerous!" Josh yelled out to Donna, still looking down at his leg.

"Josh?" Donna said, trying to get Josh's attention.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, hi. Up here." Donna smiled as Josh's head opped up over his desk looking a little puppy whose name was just called. Once Donna had Josh's attention again, she continued.

"It seems you have a delivery. It was left at the gate for you."

"Another one?" Josh asked. Ever since the hemorrhoid cream he was a little wary of deliveries.

"I don't think it's anything like that. But if it is, can I see?" Josh could tell that Donna was mocking him.

"Give it to me and get out."

Donna handed Josh a small box, a little bit smaller than a shoe box. It was neatly wrapped in brown butcher paper and simply addressed to him. Josh put the box on his desk and surveyed it, wondering what it could be, Picking up a scissors, Josh deftly sliced through the tape and some of the paper to unwrap the box. Upon opening the box top, Josh started chuckling. Then it turned into a chesty laughter.

In the box was a sea of red, white and blue tissue paper, and in the middle of the tissue paper was a Ziploc bag with a note taped to the top. Josh picked up the note to read it.

Josh –

They're not evil. They're actually very good. Martha's recipe was a "good thing". Enjoy!

Jules

Underneath the note, in the Ziploc bag, were a dozen oatmeal cookies. They bought a huge smile to his face and as Josh bit into one of them, he was left wondering if Juliana really did use old-fashioned rolled oats or if she used the normal ones out of the can with the funny looking guy on it.

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