Windows

by dinerdude

Severus Snape's former student comes to teach at Hogwarts. Can she change the "Greasy Git" into a new man? SSOC Rating to change in later chapters.

2. Do I Make You Proud?

WINDOWS

CH. 2 – DO I MAKE YOU PROUD?

DISCLAIMER – Yep, don't own a thing. Except Trish. And my cat. Oh, and Tristan.

AN – It's been almost two years since I've updated this. I was just kinda sitting here reading some fanfic when I realized, "I've posted some stuff on here." And so I went and reread all of my own stories and the reviews I've received and so, here I am. Finally updating WINDOWS, which was a fairly promising story until I stopped writing. So, I apologize for keeping you all waiting so long for this second chapter. Hopefully, I'll have more time to keep up with this, seeing as to how I've got almost three months to work on this before school kicks back in. The song is Taylor Hicks's "Do I Make You Proud?" which makes me an American Idol nerd.

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I never been the one to raise my hand
That was not me
And now that's who I am
Because of you
I am standing tall

And my heart is full
Of endless gratitude
You were the one
The one to guide me through
Now I can see
And I believe
It's only just beginning

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud?
I'm stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud?

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved
To be loved

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you
Do I make you proud?

I'm stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud?
Do I make you proud?

"Do I Make You Proud?" – Taylor Hicks

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I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache and jittery nerves, which is approximately the worst combination of feelings you can have on the day your new students arrive. Seeing as to how I've replaced a beloved teacher and I was a young woman, I wasn't exactly excited about this new situation. Now, add on an illness, and I'm pretty much screwed. Plus, I am somehow involved with the most hated teacher in the school, which does not add cool points to my already negative score. Somehow, some way, I'm going to have to hold my head up high and try my best to impress these teenagers. Oh, teenagers… bloody hell, that will not be fun. I remember being a teenager (it was only four years ago) and I was not happy at all with being bossed around. Then again, I was a pain in the ass to many of my authoritative figures. A little anarchistic rebel, if you will. Hopefully none of these kids have heard of the Sex Pistols or Abbie Hoffman or else I'm that much deeper in dookie.

Rolling out of bed very slowly, I stumbled into the shower and the hot water and burning steam did little to relieve the stress that was already knotting up my muscles and joints. As I was just beginning to feel a tad bit better, I heard someone rummaging about my quarters. Great, just what I needed. A burglar already.

I turned the water off and wrapped myself in a towel, cautiously calling out, "Hello?"

"Sorry! So sorry!" A timid voice answered before muttering, "I'm a bad person. Oh, no. One way ticket to hell. So bad."

"Um… who are you?"

"I'm nobody. Just a figment of your imagination. I am merely the steam playing tricks on you."

"My Gods, now you're just making my headache worse."

"Sorry! So sorry!"

I pulled the towel tighter around my body and peeked out the bathroom door and into my bedroom. There was a… yep, that's a ghost. There was a ghost sitting on my bed, shielding his eyes with his transparent hands.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"My name is Tristan Kinderson the Third. I was killed during one of the Death Eater attacks on Hogsmeade and I am extremely sorry for coming into your quarters unannounced and uninvited. I will now get up very slowly and exit without making any more a fool of myself."

"Tristan… Tristan, you're going to hurt yourself. Sit down. Please, I invite you to."

"Oh, you're such a nice lady." The ghost returned to his spot on the bed and frowned slightly. "Are you dressed yet?"

"I don't usually dress myself around complete strangers."

"Oh, how silly of me… I'm such a dunce. Okay, well, I'll close my eyes, you get your clothes and then change. I promise not to peek!"

"No, Tristan, I don't think that's a good-"

The spirit's dead blue eyes widened. "How do you know my name?"

"You just told me it."

"No, I didn't! You… you…" His voice lowered dramatically. "You're a psycho."

"Psycho? Don't you mean psychic?"

"Oh! You knew what I meant? What am I thinking right now?"

"You're wondering how I knew your name."

"Goodness me!" Tristan rose into the air and disappeared through the ceiling, finally giving me the time to get dressed. I pulled out a pair of jeans and a scarlet blouse to put on underneath my teaching robes. There was no way I was going commando underneath that scratchy fabric. I looked at myself in the mirror and began to wonder how I made it this far. Growing up I never, ever wanted to return to school. Once I was done, I planned on being done forever. And, yet, there I was, standing in the dungeons, home to my former least favorite teacher. How I went from nearly hating this man to being so close to him was beyond me but I wouldn't trade my new position for anything in the world. Except, perhaps, for Mark Ruffalo.

I scratched Slash behind his feline ears before leaving my rooms and heading upstairs to the Great Hall for breakfast. I heavy doors swung open as I approached and I concentrated on staring straight ahead, determined not to get distracted by the long windows on either side of me. There's nothing out there, I kept repeating to myself. Nothing but snotty teens and Gods know what else.

I saw Severus giving me a strange look as I approached the Staff Table. I shook my head slightly and he seemed to accept that answer.

"Good morning, Professor Callahan," Dumbledore greeted warmly. "I thought you were going to sleep until the students' arrival."

I laughed slightly. "No, sir. I was visited this morning by quite a strange guest, though. A spirit by the name of Tristan stopped by."

"That blasted ghost," Severus muttered. "I told him to leave you alone."

"I take it he's a friend of yours?"

"Friend is an overstatement. He's more like a nuisance of mine. He was a friend of mine before he was… done in."

"He told me about the bombing."

Severus nodded imperceptibly. "Yes, that was… that was quite a loss."

"He seems like a nice enough fellow. A bit paranoid, but nice nonetheless."

"He is. He is a genuine human. Or, was."

I smiled at Severus and turned my attention to the few students entering the building. Odd. I didn't think students were allowed to be dropped off prior to the Hogwarts Express. The trio sat down at the Gryffindor table after a quick nod to Dumbledore and began chatting animatedly. The one with red hair was reenacting what I recognized to be a Quidditch move. The Wronsky Fient. The spectacled boy quickly joined in, while the young lady pulled out a book and began to read. Upon closer inspection, she appeared to be reading a book by Neil Gaiman. Unknown to most people, Gaiman had magical powers of his own.

"Who are they?" I asked Severus, who scowled.

"The Golden Trio. That's Harry Potter and his cronies."

"Harry Potter? I thought he'd be more adult-like," I muttered as he and the redhead jumped onto the table.

"He is, actually, very mature… but he is still very much a boy."

"Was that a veiled compliment on his behalf?"

Severus snorted. "Hush your mouth, woman."

I giggled (giggled! Like a schoolgirl!) and continued to watch the "golden trio" as Severus so lightly put it. So, that was the young man who defeated the Dark Lord himself. This was the same boy who made the entire wizarding world proud, though had nothing to show for it, save a lightning bolt scar and the lives of his friends. I guess that's more than most have. I felt my heart go out to the boy. I knew what it was like to lose your parents to Voldemort's twisted sense of humor.

"Is he a nice kid?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at me. "Why don't you go find out for yourself?"

"Maybe I will," I responded, raising my own eyebrow at him.

I excused myself from the table and made my way over to the small group of friends. They've been through so much, it's no wonder their bond is so strong. Risking their young lives to save the lives of millions of others if a tough decision to make and the fact that they made it together proves how close they are.

I saw their curious glances and smiled at them as I reached their table.

"Hello. I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Patricia Callahan."

"Good morning, Professor. My name is Hermione Granger, and these are my friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley."

The two boys muttered a hello before returning to their discussion about Quidditch. Boys, they'll never change.

"What year are you?" I asked Hermione.

"We're 7th years. The three of us are in Gryffindor. Did you go here?"

"I did. I was a Slytherin though."

"But you seem so nice!" She covered her mouth in embarrassment at her outburst.

I laughed heartily. "I didn't used to be. I was a pain in the arse, to be quite honest with you. You can ask Sev- Professor Snape and he'll tell you just what a pain I was."

She gave me a curious look when I almost called Severus by his first name, but I chose to ignore it.

"I've changed, though, as you may be able to see."

"I can see," she commented sincerely. "You seem like a nice lady."

"Thank you, Miss Granger." I looked over my shoulder and saw Severus watching us intently, what seemed to be a small smile on his face. Hermione caught his gaze as well.

"Is he… is he smiling?" She asked incredulously.

"I think he just might be."

"That is so strange."

"Yeah, it actually is." I let out a puff of laughter and said, "Well, I'm going to go finish my breakfast, but I'm sure I'll see you lot later on in the day."

"I'm sure you will. See you, Professor."

"Trish. Just call me Trish."

"Okay… Trish. Call me Hermione."

"As you wish." I nearly skipped back up to the Staff Table and Severus looked at me oddly.

"What?"

"You seem… happy."

"I am happy." I began to spread some jam on my toast. "Are you happy?"

"I don't get happy."

I laughed out loud. "Severus, please."

"Fine. I am…" He paused, searching for the right word. "Content."

"You are infuriating."

He lowered his lips to my ear and whispered in that delectable voice of his, "And you love it."

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I was lounging against a willow tree on the edge of the lake when I noticed the Golden Trio approaching me. Harry was strolling alongside Hermione, but Ron was lagging behind, a blush creeping up his cheeks, matching the red mop of his hair.

"Hello, Trish!"

"Hermione, I told you I'd see you again. Hello, boys."

"Professor. I don't think we ever properly met," Harry said, extending his hand. "I'm

Harry Potter."

"And I'm Patricia Callahan. Nice to meet you."

"You too." He pushed the Weasley in front of him and said, "This is Ron. He's a bit shy. Mainly because he thinks you're pretty."

"Harry!" The poor boy's face went scarlet as he looked everywhere but at my face.

"Well…" I laughed. "That's quite a compliment. Thank you, Ron."

I glanced up at the castle and decided that my new home was just fine with me. I could get used to actually having people to talk with.

"So, do you live in Gryffindor Tower?" Hermione asked, sitting down next to me.

"No, I actually live down in the Dungeons."

"With Snape!" Harry seemed disgusted by the idea.

"Well, it was the only place that suited my requirements. Professor Snape lives at the other end of the Dungeon. He's actually not that bad a guy."

"How do you know?" Ron mumbled.

"Honestly, Ronald, she has to know. She does work with him," Hermione reasoned.

I smiled at their bickering. It reminded me a lot of what my ex-boyfriend and I were like. LP and I got along quite well for the three years we dated, save for the few arguments here and there. Every relationship has to have a few fights. I don't quite recall the reason we broke up. I know it wasn't because we were tired of each other. I think it was because he didn't want to risk a long distance relationship as he moved to Hungary to play Quidditch and I moved to New York to visit the States and have a nice change of scenery. I think that if we hadn't have gone our separate ways, he and I would still be together… quite possibly even happily married. We always talked about what our futures would be like. We planned on having children and living in the country, just like we'd dreamed of. He would have made a great father had he not… had he not been killed.

It shouldn't have happened. All he was doing was trying to protect his little brother from Lucius Malfoy's clutches. Malfoy wanted to bring little Toby into the Death Eaters realm, but LP wouldn't let that happen. I saw it out of our apartment window. That damn window…

"Trish? Are you okay?"

I snapped back in to reality to find the Golden Trio watching me with concerned written on each of their faces. I realized that I had a solitary tear rolling down my cheek and I hurriedly wiped it away and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, guys. I was in my own little world."

"If you say so." Harry shrugged. "Kinda weird, though, to… you know, see you dazed like that. What were you thinking about?"

"My… my ex-boyfriend. Lawrence Paul."

"The Quidditch player?" Ron asked excitedly.

"Yeah." I laughed softly. "That's him. I was just thinking how you and Hermione remind me of the two of us when we were dating. Before Voldemort… Well, you probably know about that. It was in the papers."

Ron nodded and his two friends had grave expressions on their faces.

"What was he like?" Hermione asked.

"He was almost perfect. I say almost because he had the same perks as everyone. Leaving the toilet seat up, drinking from the milk jug- little things. But he had so much to make up for that. He was the sweetest man alive and the most gentle kisser I'd ever met. He cared so much for everyone around him, especially his little brother. His little brother, Toby, was three years younger than us, but he and LP were best friends. They spent every waking hour together and it began to seem like Toby was also a part of our relationship, which was fine with me because he was a sweet kid. But, his love for Toby became LP's downfall. It's so sad," I said, wiping away another tear. "He had so much to live for."

"What happened to Toby?" Harry asked. "I know Malfoy was trying to get him to join the Death Eaters."

"He did. He joined them. After they killed his brother- his best friend- he joined." I shook my head angrily. "I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him. If I see him… I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably snap."

"I wouldn't blame you," Harry whispered.

At that moment, the welcoming horn of the Hogwarts Express interrupted our silent reverie and we returned to the Great Hall for the Welcoming Feast.

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That night, as I was getting ready for bed, there was a slight knock on my door. I told whoever it was to come in, knowing already who it would be. Severus entered and looked around my rooms slowly, seemingly taking in every article, every crack in the ceiling. I watched him with scrutinizing eyes. His fluid movements were almost as sexy as his drawling voice- just the way he ran his hand over the mahogany mantle made my breath hitch. I took in his appearance and found myself having a growing appreciation for Muggle clothing. Clad in stylish black jeans and a dark green sweater, I had to stop myself from wiping the imaginary drool dribbling down my chin. He looked so damn good it was almost a sin! He caught my eye in the mirror and held my gaze with an almost unnerving intensity, but my gaze never faltered. Those few moments were the most telling in my life, because his eyes gave away every emotion coursing through his veins and the most prominent was love.

"Hello, Trish."

"Severus." I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. He stiffened at first, but soon relaxed and our bodies melded together in a way I never thought possible.

"I came looking for you earlier this afternoon," he said, his voice soft.

"Mm… I was down at the lake with the kids."

"The Golden Trio?"

"Yep. They're good kids."

"They're arrogant little twats, that's what they are."

"Severus, be nice. Believe it or not, those kids actually like you."

"You're lying."

"Well, like is a strong word…" I paused searching for the right description. "They don't downright hate you, they… they respect you for everything you've done, I suppose. They admire you, I guess you could say."

Severus snorted, making his way to the couch. He sat down and offered me the seat next to him, but I opted to sit sideways on his lap, resting my head on his chest. That Greek vacation did more than put some color in his face; it also put some muscle on his bones. We sat like that for a long time and everything was just right… until there came another knock on the door.

"Ugh…" I groaned. "This is inconvenient."

I reluctantly walked to the door, already growing cold without the warm arms wrapped around me. I slowly opened the door and nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized who it was. The face was unmistakable. Those chocolate brown eyes, so deep and soulful, you'd think he was more than just a man of 26. Those freckles wandering across the bridge of his nose, refusing to let him look older than a pubescent teenager. That half smile that said so much, yet looked like just another smirk. What really gave it away was the scar that went from his right temple down across his cheek. He'd never get rid of that scar; Lucius Malfoy gave him a little reminder as to why he should join the ranks of the Death Eaters.

"Matty!" I threw myself into my older brother's arms and laughed like I hadn't laughed in ages as he spun me around the dungeon corridor.

"Hey, darlin'." I smiled at his Southern slur. Just like I did, Matty left the wizarding world after graduating from Hogwarts, but he chose the southern hospitality of Texas, which suited his laid back personality perfectly.

"What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in, what? 9 years?"

He nodded. "That sounds about right." He glanced over my shoulder and gave a slight nod to Severus. "If I'da known you had company, I woulda come over later."

"No, Matty, it's all right. Come here, let me re-introduce you to someone." I guided him over to where Severus had risen from the couch and the two men stood studying each other. "Matty, this is my… significant other, Severus Snape."

"Significant other?" Severus repeated with a smirk.

"Severus, this is my big brother, Matthew Callahan."

"Nice to know Sis has finally met someone," Matty commented, shaking Severus's hand. I cringed at what those words really meant: Nice to know I've finally gotten over the death of my first love. I will never get over that, I'm almost positive.

The three of us stayed up until way past midnight, just talking and getting to know each other once again. It's been so long since I've seen Matty and it's a comforting feeling to discover how happy he finally was. He deserved it. He had a wife and son back in Texas, his "home" as he called it. His son, Jagger, was four years old and, apparently, a spitting image of his father. I asked him where he got the name Jagger and, with a blush, he told me it meant "messenger from God" but admitted that he chose it because his hero was Mick Jagger. I had a good laugh at that, because that was so like him.

"I've decided what I want to do with my life," Matty said, after a few glasses of Firewhiskey.

"Yeah? What's that?"

"I want to move back here… and do what I was meant to do in the first place." He paused, hiccupping.

Waiting for him to continue, Severus urged, "Well… what was that?"

"Okay, so… I'ma move back here, right? And then… I'ma find that Malfoy guy… and I'ma tell him, I'ma tell him, 'Malfoy? I'm ready.'"

"Ready for what?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Ready-a be a Death Eater, of course."

I looked down at my bare feet, trying to suppress the rage and anger welling up inside of me. After turning down the offer 9 years ago, when he had nothing else to lose, how can he go crawling back to Voldemort's service and throw his entire life away? I had been so proud of him once. Now… it seems as if all that pride was misplaced.

"No."

I looked up and saw Severus towering over Matty, his raven hair casting a dark shadow over his features.

"You cannot become a Death Eater. Do you know what you would put at stake? Your life, your family, your future. I've let so many of my own students throw their lives away and then feeling guilty when the Daily Prophet reported them dead. They had nothing going for them. Their parents were proud supporters of Voldemort, so that was their decided future. You have a future, Mister Callahan. You have a family who you seem so happy to be with. Why would you throw that away just to do meaningless service under a being so cruel, so unworthy as Voldemort? Do you know what you'd do as a Death Eater? You would murder innocent victims just so Voldemort can prove, once again, that Purebloods are so much more than any of the other bloodlines. Do you want to do that, Mister Callahan? Do you want to watch women squirm as they're being raped by Voldemort's followers? Do you want to hear the pitiful screams of children as they're brutally awoken from a good night's sleep by the own horrible cries coming from their mother? That is not the way to live, I assure you."

Severus's frightening outburst seemed to sober Matty up. "How do you know all this?"

"Because I used to be a Death Eater."

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Severus and I hadn't spoken since that night Matty showed up, and I suspect it was for the best. If I would have run into him in the halls, I probably would have turned on my heel and stormed away, regardless of whether or not he was calling out for me. It was just… after all the Death Eaters had put me- had put all of us through- how could he not tell me of his past? He knew everything about me and yet it seemed as if I knew nothing about him. I could either hide from him for the rest of my career at Hogwarts, or I could put on a brave face and confront him. I chose the first option and spent the rest of my day in my rooms, ignoring every knock on my door.

During the second week of my avoiding Severus, I was sitting on my couch, absentmindedly stroking Slash behind his ears, where I knew he liked it. Suddenly, the sound of someone Flooing into my chambers roused me from my half-sleep. I looked up into the cold eyes of Severus Snape and didn't even have time to say hello before he started talking.

"May I please sit? I feel I have much to tell you."

I nodded my approval and he sat down on the opposite end of the couch, as far from me as seemingly possible.

"When I was younger, life was… not how I envisioned it. I wasn't always like this. I wasn't always an insufferable prat."

"You're not an insufferable prat," I muttered.

"Hush, I'm not done. In my fourth year, I met the girl I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. She was a Gryffindor and the most beautiful witch I'd ever laid eyes on." He paused. "We got married right after Graduation… we were expecting our first child a year later. But then… she was killed. Hit by a wayward Unforgivable. I always believed it to be my fault. If I'd have been there with her, been right by her side, she would still be with us today. But I wasn't there. I joined the Death Eaters because of that. I sought revenge on whomever killed my two loves, never realizing that what I was doing was not what Emma would have wanted. When I witnessed the murder of a different woman, pregnant as well, I just could not deal with the pain it brought back. So I turned to Dumbledore. Are you aware of the Order of the Phoenix?"

"Yes. They brought down Voldemort."

"Correct. I joined the Order and became a spy for Dumbledore. That is how they knew where to find the Dark Lord."

"Wow." I stared at the man in front of me, kicking myself for not finding him earlier. "Severus, I'm sorry."

"No, it is I who should be apologizing. You did nothing wrong."

"I still feel awful."

"For what? Do you have any idea how much joy you've brought into my life, Trish? I should be apologizing for burdening you with my presence."

I kissed him passionately, full of anger and love. I was angry that he thought of himself as a burden, as if I had something else I needed to tend to, when in fact, all I wanted was him.

Tada! The second chapter is finally done. It only took two years… so, for those previous readers, thanks for sticking by me and here's to the hope of my keeping up with this! I guarantee that I will. If you review, I'll give you a metaphorical cookie.