Okay, I made some changes from my original version, so there's not going to be a singoff with Ron and Harry, so they'll only be singing 1 song each. And, no, Harry is not singing pretty fly for a white guy, because I can't fit it in with his personality even though I made everyone pretty OOC. So, sorry...
(A.N. The song may freak you out, but I swear, there's NO slash. At all)
I don't own it..
Harry got on the table, and began to laugh. He was laughing manically, the reason, we may never know. Unless we go to Harry's POV!
Harry's POV
He's looking at me. I can't believe it, the Ronald Weasley is staring at me, waiting for me to make a fool of myself. Well, I'll show him. Harry stepped onto the table and began to laugh. He couldn't stop, it was uncontrollable laughter. He thought of Sirius and how he just laughed after he saw Lily and James' dead bodies. And the laughing wouldn't stop. Harry was shooed off the stage until he could control his laughter, but the audience waited for him to regain his... Harry-ness.
"This song is dedicated to my best friend in the world, Ronald Weasley." The music began to play and Harry did what famous singers normally do. He danced his bootay off. So there it was, his very round bum, lying on the floor, but Harry didn't care. Finally the lyrics came, you know, 'cause all the singers have to have the REALLY long beginning where they just try to look sexy and dance, and Harry began to sing.
Monday night, and I feel so low,
I count the hours, but they go so slow.
Harry sits on the floor, because, you know, that's the cool thing to do.
I know the sound of your voice, can save my soul.
City lights, the streets are gold.
Looked down my window to the world below.
Move so fast, but it feels so cold
And I am all alone,
Don't let me die, I'm losing my mind,
Baby, just give me a sign.
Harry hold up a sign which reads
"Give may a sa-yun, hit meh baybay one more tiyum!" Yah, who would've THE Harry Potter was terrible at spelling? Someone from the audience yelled
"Wrong song!" and Harry began uncontrollably crying.
And now that you're gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can't go on, I wanna be with you.
Wanna be with you..
I can't sleep, I'm up all night.
Through these tears, I try to smile.
I know, the touch of your hand, can save my life.
Harry holds out his hand longingly.
But don't let me down, come to me now,
I got to be with you some how.
And now that you're gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can't go on, I wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
Wanna be with you.
Don't let me down,
Come to me now.
I got to be with you some how.
And now that you're gone,
Who am I without you now?
Harry flips over his sign, which now reads
"No one"
I can't go on, I just wanna be with you.
And now that you're gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can't go on,
I wanna be with you..
(Be with you)
Wanna be with you..
(Now that you're gone)
Just wanna be with you..
And I can't go on,
I wanna be with you.
Oh..
Just wanna be with you, just wanna be with you.
The entire room went silent. Harry expected a few people to be shocked, but even Malfoy had some people cheering him on...Harry stumbled off the stage, beginning to cry tears of sadness. Suddenly, he heard a dim clapping, just from one person. Harry was one of those geeky "As long as this speech (or in this case, song) touches just ONE person, I'm happy". Harry didn't see anyone clapping though. It's probably one of stupid Malfoy's jokes, Harry sadly thought to himself, and then Harry did the worst thing a boy could ever do. He cried a river and drowned the whole world. Lmao, I'm just joshin' ya. Harry ran up to Dumbledore, his lovely father figure, since, you know, his real father is dead, and bawled tears into his hippie jacket.
Back to Ron's POV, 'cause I'm cool like that..
Ron was looking through the audience to see who was clapping, He knew it had to be a loser, for who else would clap when Harry just outed to the world that he was gay and wanted to shag Ron? Then Ron saw the worst thing ever, Harry crying into Dumbledore's long, saggy robe. But Ron had to get on the stage and sing his song. No matter how much it would hurt his soon-to-be-ex-best-friend.
"And this song is dedicated to you, Harry.." Ron looked ashamed.
"You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?"
Ron ran off the stage before he, himself started crying as well. He ran straight to the Gryffindor common room and into his dorm and took off the poster of Harry he had hanging up on his wall. How could he do this to me, Ron thought. After all I've done, how could he do this to me?
When Ron woke up the next morning, he went straight to the Great Hall, ignoring the fact that Harry was staring at him longingly. When Ron got to the Great Hall, there was an applause for him. Ron, being the great brute that he is, didn't know why everyone was cheering and clapping for him. Ron didn't even know why Dumbledore was standing on the table, wearing the world's ugliest speedo and nothing else.
Dumbledore went up to Ron and shook his hand.
"Professor," Ron said, "What's going on?" Professor Dumbledore just handed Ron a certificate.
This Certificate States That The
Ronald Weasley
Has Finally Gotten His Groove.
Ron looked around the Great Hall, and realized it was true. All the girls were giving Ron the same glazed look that Harry had given him just moments before. Ron had done it.
Ron ran back up to the dorm and hung up the certificate on the wall and quickly scrawled something on it.
This Certificate States That The
Ronald Weasley
Has Finally Gotten His Groove Back.