Disclaimer: I own nothing… except my imagination, which is where this story came from )
AN: Hey, my user name is 'Bert-the-farting-hippo' I had to write this… Besides, I was bored.
Stuffed
The life of Bert, The farting Hippo
I watched as the Goth girl, Abby, bustled around her lab after the silvered haired guy, Gibbs, left. He'd handed her one of those bags filled with stuff. It wasn't that unusual, but when I first came here, great Hippo, was it weird.
I had been bought a long time ago, from a very odd store, that people like Abby came into all the time. She of course, just had to have me, and I brought back to the lab at her then new job at NCIS. I'd met Gibbs that day, when he took one look at me and asked Abby what I did.
She replied in the happy way she always talks, "He's a stuffed animal Gibbs, he sits there."
"I know that, does it do anything else, if not it's just taking up space."
Abby frowned a bit, then Ducky walked in. "It releases flatulence, Jethro. Or at least, it sounds like it does."
"Flatulence?"
"Yeah, Gibbs. Ducky means that the Hippo farts."
"I know what 'flatulence' is, Abby…. What's his name?"
"Bert."
Gibbs paused, and walked over and picked me up. He squeezed my stomach when he did so releasing a nice long… well farting sound.
Abby snatched me out of Gibbs' hand. "No Gibbs, that's the stupid way! Like this." She then proceeded to show Gibbs the right way of making me fart, and hugged me hard.
Gibbs just shook his head, and asked for the DNA results from yesterday's case. Abby put me down, and walked over to her printer.
Over the years I was introduced to more of the team, including Gerald, Jimmy, Tony, Kate, and McGee, and eventually Ziva.
They're a few times when I was squeezed often. Once such was after the last time I'd seen Kate. I thought my 'farter' would die like a 'squeaker' in a squeaky toy does. Another was when Abby was being stalked.
Her x-boyfriend was stalking her, and I got to see so many places that day! I saw the hall, and the elevator, and the autopsy lab. I may have even seen the 'bull-pen' although I don't remember doing so. Wow was she upset that day. Luckily though, Gibbs made her feel a little bit better.
At first I didn't like a few people. Namely McGee, he was taking time away from me! All the sudden it was McGee this and McGee that. I was saying to myself, He isn't right for her, look at him; he's way to normal! He'll have to pass the Bert test!
Two days later, he got his shot at the 'Bert Test'. He did better than I thought. Abby was giving me a hug when he walked into the lab. He looked shocked, but not grossed out… after Abby told him it was me.
Then there was Gibbs, a fatherly figure to Abby. He was there first but still, I was jealous that he could make Abby feel better when I couldn't. Like when Abby was being stalked and she was hiding out in the elevator. Through a couple of words he made her feel better. It made me wish that I could speak.
My thoughts disappeared as the doors swished open, and Jimmy walked in. He handed Abby a human finger. I shuddered a bit and fell off the table. Abby looked over to see me fall. She walked over, and scooped me up, giving me a hug that I returned with a fart, and then set me back on the table. "He must've fallen." She shrugged to Jimmy. Jimmy nodded in agreement. Jimmy said bye, and left to go back to the autopsy room.
Tony, Ziva, and McGee walked in, asking Abby if she wanted to go to lunch with them. Abby replied with a happy yes, threw her lab coat on a chair and walked towards the door. She shut the lights off before she left, leaving me, Bert, the farting hippo, in the dark.