Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or Angel. Joss does, his characters just live in my head. The poem was written by Langston Hughes. (But don't tell Spike please, he thinks he wrote it) Ok is that enough disclaimers, don't report me please. If I'm in violation just tell me.

Paring: implied Spangel, recalled Spuffy, and Spike/Dru.

A/N: Thanks so much those who reviewed. a, Spike Dragon, ShinodaBear, Night Essence, Jenn/LuvinJMSpike and tinkerbell for reviewing the last chapter. I hope you liked the suspense, sorry it took so long.

Chapter 3: Soul Searching

He read until…

the writing stopped. This was the last entry before a few blank pages.

China 1915

He left, for good this time. He said he had to. He said I was evil, unclean, unwanted. He left me, again.

Wesley couldn't believe it. By now he was so involved in the story he couldn't believe Angelus just leaving Spike. Then it clinked, he crossed referenced the dates. Angelus didn't leave him. Angel did…

He was getting up to stretch when he suddenly sat down. When he paged thru the end of the journal, remembering there were later entries. The other entry was in blue ballpoint pen.

L.A. 2004

I don't know why I carried this stupid thing around all these bloody years. Surprising though how it rematerialized, after me being a spook an all. I guess I kind of know why I'm writing in it now. His name starts with A and ends with forehead. Well at least I can feel my fingers now. Not like he cares I'm here, just like Sunnydale. Ya, just sulking in a basement for 3 weeks. Right. Like I don't struggle. Not that he would notice…

I've known rivers:

I've know rivers as the world and older than the

flow of human blood in human veins.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.

I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.

I looked upon the Nile and the raised pyramids above it.

I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln went down to New Orleans, and

I've seen its muddy bosom turn all golden in its sunset.

I've known rivers:

Ancient dusky rivers.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

Wesley just finished the last stanza when… Angel walked in. "Wes I need you in my office. Now."

A/N: Thanks for reading now please review now! Any ideas are welcome! I had very happy in Last Day, so maybe angst…