Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or Angel. Joss does, his characters just live in my head. Six Foot Town belongs to Big&Rich. Ok is that enough disclaimers, don't report me please. If I'm in violation just tell me.

Paring: implied Spangel, recalled Spuffy, and Spike/Dru.

A/N: Thanks so much those who reviewed. ShinodaBear, Pinkzelda, and the dead mango for reviewing the last chapter. And to clear up any confusion the timeline I know is wrong, just go with it. I'm also sorry about the distorted paragraphs; it keeps doing that to my stories. If you have any tips so my lines don't squished please share. I hope you liked the suspense, sorry it took so long.

Chapter 4: Six Foot Town

Wesley quickly walked into Angel's office to see an angry pacing Angel. "Yes Angel." "So do you want to tell me why Spike took my Porsche and left you this?" Angel handed Wesley a sealed envelope addressed to him. "I swear any car and he took that one, just to make me angry. AHHH! When I find him there'll be a dusty ending." "Angel, Angel." "What Wes?" "We need to go. Now!" They both walked out of Angel's office to the elevator doors. This is what the note said.

Well pet, knew you would read it. So now you know, all of it. I don't think anyone besides me would believe it. Sometimes I think even Angel forgets some parts. I know I do, it's the only way I sleep at night. I'm not saying this is his entire fault, most though. I guess there are other contributing factors namely Darla, Drusilla and Buffy. Well I guess since someone else knows I can be free. Angelus always said my writing was meaningless. I guess is some ways he was right. I write about love, destiny, happiness, places I've never been and sunrises. I look back and say what am I leaving? Death, mayhem, and bloody awful poetry.

I'm so tired of being love's bitch, every decision I've every made was for the love of another. I became a vampire for Dru, a murderer for Angelus, a lapdog for Buffy, and a protector for Dawn. Walking into that hell mouth was the only independent decision I have ever made. Huh… pretty sad for someone who's going to be one hundred and ninety one. At the moment I burned I finally felt free, hell or not I was ready for anything besides this. Well I guess this is enough of my yammering. Being the hero and martyr that he is Angel will probably turn this about him, but it's not. I guess I just want to go my way, have it have some meaning. It'll be poetic.

My brakes are on fire
From trying to slow down
I'm always burning my tires
And my horn is to loud
I catch people staring looking funny at me
When I step to the window and I toss a TV
Sometimes I get crazy and it makes a big scene

But when I hit Highway 121 I wanna stand up and scream
I'm filthy rich with laughter, I'm too big for the room
You know from two stories up
A Zenith makes a big boom

It's hard to get around in a six foot town
When your ten feet tall everything is so small
I'm always bumping my head
I'm way to long for the bed
It's hard to get around
In a six foot town.

Some people live inside a tiny little box
they're preoccupied about mismatching their socks
I never been one to worry about much
I just wanna laugh and love
I just wanna live it up

It's hard to get around in a six foot town
When your ten feet tall everything is so small
I'm always bumping my head
I'm way to long for the bed
It's hard to get around
In a six foot town.

Sometimes I stumble just because of my size
But hey y'all that's alright
That's the way Angelus made me
I am what I am
And I can't do nothing bout that

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Wesley drove allowing Angel to read the journal and note. By the time they reached the city limits Wesley could see that Angel couldn't hold back his emotions. The car was silent. Angel finally looked up at Wesley, clearly distraught. "He gave this to you?" "Yes. It's true isn't it?" "Yah, most. I didn't know he felt this for so long. I know he hasn't been the Spike I knew for a long time. We… haven't been the same for a long time." The rode in silence for a few more miles, Angel staring out the window. Then finally broke the silence.

"To me Angelus was always a part of me I never wanted to be. Spike is a constant reminder of what I am. What I did. I never allowed myself to even be happy because, it might make everything I did ok somehow. I will always consider Angel's first love Buffy because she was perfect, if only in my mind. She never saw me the real me. Everyone distinguishes Angelus and Me as two people but where not. He lives inside me all the time. When I left I hated myself, not Darla, Drusilla, Will. " "Angel have you ever told Spike this? He thinks you just left because you hated him." "No. Do you know where he is going?" "I have an idea."

It was almost 3 am by the time they reached what used to be Sunnydale.

TBC

A/n: Thanks for reading! Please review! I had more but decided to break it into two chapters; you'll just have to wait!