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Extra 010: I Shall Judge You!

"...Can you stop glaring at me?" Ragna asked Tsubaki as the two walked through the hallways of Beacon Academy. "I don't know why the hell he wants to see us both this time."

"So you don't think you did anything to get in trouble again?" his partner demanded as she followed closely behind. "I bought you dinner last night, so I deserve an honest answer."

"Yeah? And I had to carry you back after you passed out while we were hunting. Your point is?" he countered. "Besides, when has Ozpin ever called me to his office to let me know I'm in trouble? If I was really getting punished, Goodwitch would have just given me a mop instead of sending us both to his office."

"That still leaves the issue of what he needs us for," Tsubaki signed as the two stood in front of the elevator that would take them up to the Headmaster's office. "You… don't think he'll try and get us to host another radio show, do you?"

"After the chaos the last one caused, he'd be crazy to try that a second time," Ragna grumbled as the doors opened. "Even still, I get the feeling that whatever he's got planned will end just as well."

"Meaning we'll likely be stuck on cleaning detail before I have to leave with the others for our vacation home," Tsubaki sighed as the two started their ride to the top.

"You do know that we don't have to say Yes?" Ragna reminded. "Let's just get this over with and start our effin' vacations, I can't wait to hit the sheets for a whole week."

"Please, at least try to be respectful around Ozpin. He is the headmaster of this Academy."

"He doesn't care what I have to say around him."

"But I do."

"...Fine," Ragna said, nodding in acceptance as the door finally opened. Stepping into Ozpin's office, the two found their Headmaster sitting behind his desk. A warm cup of tea in front of him along with two more at his desk's edge. "You wanted to see us?"

"Indeed. Please, have a seat." Taking the two chairs in front of his desk, they both grabbed the offered tea mugs. "Before I get to business I think congratulations are in order. Miss Yayoi, your papers and tests have already been graded and you're one of our highest scorers for the written exams. Mister Bloodedge, while your papers are still being graded I never imagined such a high kill count was possible in the Grimm hunting exam, least of all by a first year student."

"Not too surprising, somebody recently told me that I understand Grimm better than I do people." Tsubaki didn't comment on the remark she'd made last night, mostly because she was still right.

"At least your skills at dealing with the latter seem to have improved since your start at the Academy. In fact, what I have in mind for you both is a bit of a… social test," Ozpin informed ominously. "Tell me Ragna, what do you know about cooking?"

"Only what my master taught me." 'And my mother, but that was long ago.' "What do you need to know that for?"

"Because I'm having Beacon host a small cooking contest for the first year students," the headmaster explained. "I'm not going to have it be a large affair, it's partner based, and sign up is completely optional; I simply figured that since you've traveled the world for most of your life that you'd have a wide experience with food."

"It's more of a hobby for me than anything else, but I guess you could say I'm decently skilled," Ragna admitted. 'Didn't hurt I had one of the pickiest foodies I've ever met as a teacher.' "But why bother making a show of bringing me up here? I would've heard about this one way or the other."

"Because I have something different in mind for you; I want you to be the judge." Ozpin noticed Ragna's hesitation at his request. "You don't want to?"

"Don't really think I'm qualified for this. Just because I can cook doesn't mean I'd be that good of a moderator for anyone else's food. You're better off asking someone like Goodwitch for this."

"Furthermore, there's the matter of his choice of words," Tsubaki added. "Even at the best of times Ragna has trouble keeping himself from swearing. I can't imagine that the faculty would appreciate a school event where the participants are constantly sworn at."

"On the contrary, that's exactly why he's the perfect candidate for this. There have been plenty of programs about food judges being a little… colorful in their criticism. I think that having Ragna as a judge would not only make the contest entertaining for onlookers, but the pressure would be on all the contestants to perform well in order to avoid being ridiculed by his harsh words."

"I mean I guess that sounds… fun?" Ragna said hesitantly. "But Tsubaki's got a point here, I doubt Goodwitch signed off on me swearing at the school's cooking and it's not like anyone else would willingly sign up for me to yell in there face." 'Not unless they have an unsettling fetish, but I don't want to deal with that either.'

"That's where our mystery prize comes into play. The promise of a great reward is usually enough to draw hopefuls into these types of contests," Ozpin assured as he reached into his desk and took out what appeared to be a small remote with a few buttons. "As for controlling your swearing, I'm going to leave that to Miss Yayoi. All she'll have to do is press the red button on that remote and she'll be able to bleep out any of your more vulgar language to keep things… manageable."

"My own personal censor," Ragna summarized before smirking at the headmaster. "And Goodwitch didn't want this? With the shit between us, I figured this would be a wet dream for her."

"RAGNA!" Tsubaki shouted, scolding her partner for his crude language.

"We certainly considered having Glynda do this, but I felt that she might be a little extreme if given the chance to silence you. The whole event might've been just one long beeping noise."

"Wouldn't surprise me if she had done that," the Reaper admitted. "If there's free food in it for me I guess I'm in, but you know the kind of risk you're getting by putting me up to this? This could turn into a second radio show fiasco."

"Which is why I'm counting on the two of you for this to go well, though I'd rather you simply decide to have fun with the situation you're given. Make this have the natural Beacon charm and… we can afford a little light bruising."

"Sure, but you better get ready for when the *BEEP* hits the fan," Ragna said before glancing at Tsubaki who'd already taken hold of the remote and had censored her first swear. There seemed to be a new glow about her as she realized the power she now held over his words.

He made a mental note to break the device if she didn't hand it back to Ozpin after the contest.

The Contest

'Damn it, and I thought my school uniform was stuffy," Ragna muttered as he sat at the table set in the center of the auditorium's stage. Instead of his usual red coat or even a school uniform, Ozpin had provided him with a white chef's outfit, complete with a tied white apron. It had also come with a chef's hat, but Ragna's gravity defying hair wasn't letting him put that on. The top was at least a size smaller than it should have been, gripping Ragna painfully tight. As he went to unbutton his collar to give him a better chance at breathing, he heard Tsubaki cough and caught sight of the glare she was giving him.

"Chef, we've got our dish ready for your enjoyment!" the first pair of contestants said as they brought their dish forward. It was a male/female pairing that Ragna swore he'd seen around, but considering he hadn't bothered committing either to memory they like didn't have anything noteworthy between them in his eyes. The cocky looks on their faces made it clear that they thought their dish would be the one to take home the prize. "I present to you chicken wings in homemade Ursa sauce. I've also given you a side of bleu cheese sauce if that's your preferred way to have these."

'Spicy deep fried food right out of the gates,' Ragna thought glumly to himself as he realized how hard this was going to be on his stomach. 'Dammit, why did Ozpin have to let everyone make whatever they wanted?' Deciding it would be best to get it over with, he picked up the chicken wing with his bare hands and took a small whiff. Judging by the scent alone, it was clear that they'd used too much paprika and thrown the balance of flavors off. Taking a small bite, his suspicions of the dish were confirmed immediately, along with a few other unfortunate discoveries.

"So, blown away by our cooking yet?" the girl asked, somehow even more haughty than Weiss had been when Ragna had first met her. Ragna said nothing at first, only putting down the unfinished wing onto the plate. "A-Aren't you going to try a second bite? Maybe with some of our bleu-"

"No need, after having just one bite of that garbage I'm already feeling pretty *BEEP*ing blue!" Ragna shouted, again having Tsubaki come in to censor his swearing. "How in the *BEEP* did you think that would be okay to serve? The spices are gonna give my tongue a rash, the meat is dryer than bark, and the watery sauce makes the crust a soggy, warm sh-*BEEP*!"

"Wha-? I-! How dare you!" the male of the pair shouted. "You just can't appreciate the fine taste of a family recipe!"

"If you had to grow up on this then it's no wonder your taste buds are *BEEP*ed," Ragna said as he pushed the dish away. "You're both out."

"You just don't know good cooking!" their partner shouted as she went for a bite on a separate chicken wing, only seeming to wince as she got a good bite out.

"You done? Clear the stage, I got other people to yell at," Ragna told the both as they bitterly departed. Despite the obvious murmerings from the crowd of onlookers, he couldn't help but smirk to himself. He'd gotten plenty of ridicule for his cooking from his own master, especially in his early day when he was just starting out. Being on this side for a change couldn't help but taste sweet... though his mouth honestly still stung a bit from the dish he'd just eaten.

"Wow, Ragna really isn't holding anything back here," Ruby said as she stirred the dough, staring up at the stage. "Still surprised Ozpin asked him to judge the contest. You think word of our barbecue night got around the school?"

"If it had, you'd think this would've just been a barbeque contest instead of a full on cooking competition," Weiss countered as she stirred the cream. "Hmm... heavier?"

"Yeah! And more sugar! I get the feeling that Ragna secretly likes sweet things!" the team leader proclaimed as she got a small tasting of the cake batter. "Ohhhh yeah! He's going to love this stuff!"

'...Love seems too strong a word for this,' Weiss thought as Ragna had never really struck her as a dessert person. 'If either of us had any idea how to make Barbeque, Curry, or Udon this would've been easy for us. Now we're stuck making a dessert meant for children that he's probably never had in his life. Even if it has a few of my own special touches, it's not going to take much to get Ragna's favor over our food.'

"YOU *BEEP*S! YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE CURRY WITHOUT PREMADE POWDER!?" came a rather violent shout from Ragna's direction as someone had tried to make one of his favorite foods in order to impress him. "AND YOU BOILED THE *BEEP*ING POTATOES SO MUCH YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE A FORKFUL UP WITHOUT IT FALLING APART!"

'...On second thought, maybe it's best to make something that he isn't so familiar with,' Weiss realized. 'This way he won't be able to criticize every detail about what we make.'

Further into the Contest

"God *BEEP* it! What kind of smoked salmon dish is this? The meat inside is *BEEP*ing raw! Do you want me to eat raw meat!? Do you!?"

"Why do your tortilla chips already taste like they're stale! And your cheese isn't even melted all the way! This has to be the worst *BEEP*ing plate of nachos I've ever seen!"

"WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE!?"

With his latest victims departing from the scene, Ragna gave an honest sigh. Swearing for the sake of making this review interesting might've been fun for him, but that didn't change the fact that most of the first years seriously had no idea how to cook. Out of everyone who'd brought him something to consume, only two or three had overall decent meals... though their few flaws were glaring enough to still warrant a swear filled rant from him. Shaking his head, he looked over the remaining crowd only to realize that he'd put himself into a corner. The remaining pairs were Noel and Azrael from his team, Makoto and Mai from Haven Academy, and the entirety of teams JACK, JNPR and RWBY; all people that he knew on more personal levels.

'Shit, if I give any of them a win it's going to look like I'm just giving the prize to someone I know and playing favorites,' he noted bitterly as he looked up at the stands. Though most of Beacon had a pretty negative impression for Ragna, for whatever reason they loved watching him swear at their peers and their attempts at cooking. If he didn't hold that attitude here they likely wouldn't stay as pleased, nor would they take his judgement seriously. 'Dammit, this is going to be a problem... What the hell am I supposed to-?'

SLAM!

Nearly leaping out of his own skin at the sheer force of the noise, he saw that his teammate Azrael had slammed down a heavy pot of something on the station in front of him while he'd been distracted. The Mad Dog's partner Noel was standing behind him with a meek look on her face, still not used to being put on stage in front of the entire school.

'I guess if Noel helped to make this I'll be able to find something wrong with it... and I'll be able to swear at them both to save face if I survive eating it.' He added that last part knowing full well the problems that Noel seemed to have with cooking and the double edged sword it presented here. "So what have you got for me?"

"Chili, and I sincerely hope that you're man enough to survive this," Azrael said as he scooped out a ladel's worth and placed it into a bowl. "Trust me, we've got a dish you won't be forgetting anytime soon."

'If Noel helped make it, that's a pretty safe bet,' Ragna thought with some worry as he took a spoonful of the chili and examined it. 'That's weird, it... looks like actual food, even smells like Chili. And the taste is...'

As soon as Ragna started to taste just his first bite, it felt like he'd been sucker punched in the gut. The thing was this wasn't a feeling of sickness or nausea that would usually be associated with Noel's cooking, rather this came about from the raw intensity of the dish's flavor. The hearty meat and spices created a purely brutal experience to get through, so brutal that Ragna doubted that a single normal person could even get through a single bite without passing out... didn't stop him from going in for a second tasting.

"...Pretty good," he said as his piece, which was of course met with murmurings from the crowd. "I'm getting a lot of different bits of gaminess. What kind of meat did the two of you use in this?"

"Yes." ...Knowing Azrael, Ragna should have figured as much.

"Either way, well done both of you," Ragna said. He'd expected that Noel would be relieved to find out that someone had actually enjoyed something that she'd made, but instead the young blonde looked passive at best. "What's wrong?"

"My uh... my dish didn't make it out," she admitted. "I'd tried making a coleslaw that would've been something light and refreshing to go with Azrael's chili, but it didn't get here."

"It didn't?" the Reaper asked before looking over to Mai and Makoto's table, only seeing the spear user with a guilty look on her face as her partner only sighed next to her. "Oh."

"Pretty sure that counts as a disqualification, eating another team's food before they bring it out and all," Azrael noted.

"I'll allow it, you both can head back to your station," Ragna told them. This was met by obvious murmerings from the crowd, not the least of which were discussing the Reaper's apparent bias. 'Dammit, I actually really liked that and I couldn't find it in me to say otherwise. Hopefully the next dish they bring out is-'

"Oh cheeeeeeeef!" came Amane's singsong voice as he and Kagura approached with their dish; a steaming hot bowl of ramen.

'God dammit! I'm trying to be bitter about your food here you assholes!' Ragna shouted in his head. 'Well just because they made this, it doesn't mean it's any good.'

It WAS good though. The noodles were full yet still went down easy, the broth was full of flavor and perfectly complemented both the thin slices of pork and the egg that still had an unboiled yolk. Try as he might, Ragna couldn't find it in him to belittle their dish... no matter how much Kagura tended to piss him off.

"...Take a seat," he eventually said. His effort to seem harsh hadn't paid off as the crowd still seemed to take notice at the lack of belittling in his words. 'Come on, just give me someone to hate! ANYONE!'

"I hope you're ready for something fresh!" came Yang's voice.

'Dammit! Why does the whole universe seem to hate me?' Ragna thought bitterly as the energetic blonde and cat Fanus partner brought up a fresh sushi platter. "Of course, I should've guessed this would be something to do with fish. How'd you settle on sushi?"

"I heard from Ruby that Yang has trouble controlling anything controlling a flame while she's cooking, so I figured we'd better take that hazard away outright," Blake explained, leaving Yang to cross her arms only a little bitterly. "Aside from the soy sauce, everything there is handcrafted from the wasabi to the sticky rice."

"So get ready to eat up!" Yang told him. Ragna knew that he couldn't just give his friends a purposely bad review just to try and save his own face, so it would probably be better just to get this over with. Going for the chopsticks though, he saw they were snatched by Yang who grabbed one of the rolls and dipped in soy sauce before bringing it up to Ragna's mouth. "Say ahhhhh!"

"Yang we're in public, in front of the entire school even!" Balke shouted at her partner with a sharp blush on her face.

"Wait, does this mean that they'd do stuff like this in their private time?" a voice questioned from the stands. A swift glare from Ragna silenced the onlooker, but the damage had already been done by the question and the crowd turned into a sea of whispers.

"Really Yang?" Ragna had to ask as the blonde only gave him a flirty wink. Trying his damndest to move out of the corner she'd put him into, he snatched both the chopstick and the sushi out of her hands and chowed down. While sushi might've seemed like a simple enough dish to make and required only some intermediate assembly skills, the truth was that each element that went into it drastically impacted the greater whole and these girls had nailed each of them. The best cuts of fish, the fullest rice, the perfectly tight seaweed wrapping, the kick given by the wasabi, and of course everything was at peak freshness. "Huh, this sorta came outta left field for you two, but I can't complain about the results."

"Aw, if you're praising us so much I might start blushing," Yang told him. Ragna was really starting to wonder why she was flirting with him so hard in front of the entire school. "Maybe we can make this again sometime?"

"I'd like that," Blake admitted before smiling at Ragna as the two headed back to their seats.

'And the crowd's suspicions grow, it's not their fault that those two know how to cook some damn good sushi,' he grumbled. 'And now we've got Nora and Ren with... breakfast?'

"Pancakes pancakes, piping hot~!
Waste a single one, I'd rather not~!"

"Breakfast and jingle then," Ragna said. The pancakes that these two had made him seemed like your everyday run of the mill breakfast, topped with maple syrup and thick creamy butter. While he'd enjoyed a good pancake himself while on the road especially on cold mornings, they never felt like anything more than a warm and filling comfort food. The pancake's thinner cousin the crepe would've probably been a better chance to show one's cooking prowess. "What made the two of you decide to make these in the first place?"

"My most favorite food in the whole world! Plus, Ren makes a really awesome stack of pancakes! I could eat these things all day!" Nora told him excitedly. "The butter's made fresh too and we got the sap for the syrup from the school trip we took during the year! Call this a little labor of love!"

"Alright then," Ragna complied, figuring it was just better that he drop the issue here. Cutting a piece off with his knife and bringing it up, he was glad to see that there wasn't so much syrup on them that they'd become a soggy mess. Taking a bite of what they made left him with the realization that he'd been making these things wrong for who knows how long. Its perfectly fluffy base texture mixed with ever so sweet syrup that Nora and Ren had added along with the slight cream of their own homemade butter made for a unique experience. In fact, it made Ragna feel like he'd just woken up and was now ready to face the day with fuel in his tank. "...No wonder you like these things so much Nora."

"See, told you the pancakes that Ren makes are something else!" she said to him, before laser focusing her gaze towards the still mostly full plate of pancakes still in front of Ragna. "...And I meant it when I sang earlier about not wasting any of these."

"Go right ahead, I'm not going to stop you," Ragna said as he handed Nora the plate back. Ren only gave him a subtle nod as he left, something that well reflected his more enigmatic and standoffish side. 'Might have to ask Ren how he gets his pancakes to turn out that way. Lord knows I could try to get my own version of these things to this kind of result.'

The next dish didn't come out immediately, leaving Ragna to wait for the chef's to complete their work. When a dish was finally finished and brought to him, its makers were none other than the two students visiting from Haven Academy. Makoto and Mai's dish seemed to take Ragna's meal's straight from breakfast all the way to dessert. The thick texture told him that this was some kind of chocolate mousse, topped with some kind of cream which itself was topped with melted chocolate. As he waited for an explanation from the outgoing and talkative Squirrel Faunus, he was surprised to see that she wasn't saying a word and only motioned for him to try the food.

'They aren't elaborating on what they made? Maybe they're trying to see if I'm more than just talk with my food critiques,' he guessed as he tasted a small spoonful and let the flavors wash over him as he tried to pick the flavors out. "Huh, there's a nutty taste to it. Have to say... chestnuts. And it's not just that they've been ground in as a topping, more like they've been pureed and added to influence the texture as well as the taste. Not a bad call, seeing how often chocolate and nuts are combined elsewhere. Toppings are a good fit too, the chocolate is different from the mousse itself and goes well with the cream."

"Helps that we've got someone who can tell the fine details about what we make!" Makoto said as she threw the judge a thumbs up. Ragna didn't know much about this girl, but compared to what he was used to dealing with she at least seemed pretty alright. "Think we've got a winner here?"

"You got a competitor, I'll give you that," Ragna said, knowing that he needed to stay neutral here... the fat good it was doing him at this point.

"It's a shame, I bet if Noel's cooking had made it out you would've had an instant win right from the get go," Mai noted, a statement that seemed to bewilder the crowd.

"You were the one that went and ate it in the first place," the Reaper reminded her. 'Not that I have ANY problem with that.' "Both of you can head to your seat, I think I see the next dish heading my way."

"Sure thing! Looking forward to the results!" Makoto said as she and Mai walked off, past Pyrrah and Jaune. "I've got a good feeling about this, do you think we can make the top spot?"

"I don't know, Ragna didn't really seem all that excited by our Mousse," Mai guessed. "Then again, he didn't swear at us both at least... not that he's been doing that for most of the later dishes."

Meanwhile, Ragna was trying a bite of Jaune and Pyrrah's mushroom risotto. Even though Ragna had tried to put faith in his classmate, he couldn't help but feel that Jaune was a bit clumsy even at the best of times and a Risotto wasn't an easy dish to make. The combination of a difficult broth to rice ratio, coupled with a strict stirring speed, and several other factors going in made this a difficult dish to master. A dish like this likely would've been outside his comfort zone, even with someone with Pyrahh's confidence helping him. Judging the dish on its own merits seemed to tell a different story as no part of the creation looked watered down or dry and the plate full of food gave off a lovely aroma. Skewering one of the mushroom's with a fork and collecting some of the rice around it he gave the dish a try for himself. The texture of the mushroom was cooked perfectly through and came apart easily with each bite while the creamy rice nicely complimented it.

"I've gotta say I'm impressed," Ragna said as he realized the crowd was going to think he was being biased no matter what he did at this point. "I can tell you both from experience that this isn't an easy dish to make, but you both really seemed to have a handle on it."

"Thanks, but if it wasn't for Pyrrah here I would've probably tried to make a basic chicken noodle soup," Jaune admitted. "Even knowing how to make a risotto, I probably couldn't have pulled it off without her."

"Don't be like that, I told you that you'd make a great cook and you even had that old family recipe to try," the current Beacon celebrity told him. "And you did most of the work, I was just here to give you a helping hand where you needed it."

'So that's how it is,' the Reaper realized. 'Jaune's actually got a lot more potential in him than he's able to see; even I don't think I'd ever be able to do more than scratch the surface of it. But Pyrrah's got a different way of getting his potential out. And if this dish really is a reflection of his actual skill.' Ragna thought back to the one time Jaune had let his temper get the better of him, how much force was in the strike he'd given and what might've really been hiding behind it. 'He might actually be going places, but he's damned lucky to have support like that... I know I could've used some of that.' "Either way I'll see you at the end when I announce the winning dish, but your dish is definitely in the running."

"R-Really?" Jaune asked as he scratched the back of his head. Around him the audience was already murmuring about how kind Ragna's words had been, but he did his best to tune it out as the two headed back to their seats... only to be replaced with another blond haired leader and his redhead partner.

"I'm still trying to understand why Ozpin thought you'd be the best food critic in the academy... given your tendency to start fires by mistake," Jin could only comment with a sigh. Most of the time Ragna might've run his mouth against his younger brother, but given how unskilled at cooking he'd actually been before traveling he didn't exactly have the best grounds to argue on. Speaking of his past though, he saw that his brother and Celica had both made Curry with a accompaniment of Jasmine Rice. This had been a common meal back home, and a favorite of Ragna's. "And unlike the last group of idiots that tried to make this, I know enough to prepare my own mixture of spices."

Jin's comment was met with some obvious ire from a few of the students as the blonde saw him as everyone's better. Beside him, Celica only giggled nervously at her partner's behavior towards her schoolmates. Ragna only shook his head before taking a bite, surprised with how much of a taste of nostalgic home cooking Jin's cooking really was. While the rice didn't blend into the dish as much as Jaune's had and merely served as a base for the curry itself, Ragna could now experience both the curry's raw texture along with the rice as he saw fit. Jin combination of spices was nothing less than the work of a curry genius, the vegetables he'd chosen did well to compliment the dish, and there was even an underlying warmth that made him painfully nostalgic for his more carefree day. Amazing as the dish was though, there did appear to be a rather major component missing.

"I'm not getting any meat in this," Ragna decided to remind him as he set his fork down.

"And you shouldn't find any; that curry only takes use of the best prepared vegetables you can find," JACK's team leader informed him with a scowl that made it clear to Ragna that he'd screwed up.

"That's right, I completely forgot you're a vegetarian," he groaned. 'Mom used to even make him a separate plate without meat because he'd cry about hurting the animals it came from... I can't believe he still doesn't eat meat after so long.' "Either way it's just what I was in the mood for... so thanks."

'I must have done better than I'd thought if I'm able to get him to show that he's remembering our old home,' Jin considered. 'He won't admit that he's thinking about it to anyone. He barely allows me to see that side, his own brother...' Taking special note of the last group as they head to the stage, he sighed admittance. 'Though... I have to wonder how much he's let on about our past at this point to THEM.'

"Bum Bum Bummmm! Ruby called with fanfare as she and Weiss brought the final dish of the day forward. "Preeeeesenting the final dessert of the night!"

'I mean at this point my stomach's has to jump around meals so much that it really doesn't matter at all,' Ragna considered as he looked at the desert that the two had made. "Is that... Strawberry Shortcake?"

"You don't sound excited," Weiss noted as she openly glared daggers at Ruby, who was doing her best not to look guilty at her apparent mistake.

"It's not that, I'm just not a big sweets person in general. I have no clue how I'm supposed to judge something like this," he explained, not having taken his eyes away from the dessert. "More to the point... I've never had this stuff in my life."

"Y-You haven't!?" Weiss demanded as she looked at the dish. "Ragna! That's strawberry shortcake! Just about everyone's had that!"

"Then I exist in the minority that hasn't," the Reaper said bitterly.

'...That's right,' Jin said as his eyes widened with honest concern. 'Not only has he never had it, but that was the dessert we were supposed to eat the night mom...' The blond swordsman winced as he thought back to a hellish point in his past. 'And there's no doubt, he remembers that fact clear as day...'

'And Weiss was thinking that we should've made something she was more familiar with,' Ruby thought. "E-Either way I don't think you'll have needed to try this kinda food before to know that you have a hit on your hands! The recipe that we used for the cake and cream is a family favorite, nearly as good as my mom's cookie recipe."

"Right, I keep hearing rumors about you and your obsession with those things," Ragna grunted. "In fact, why didn't you bring cookies out to this?"

"Weiss thought it would be too obvious."

"BECAUSE IT WOULD BE THAT OBVIOUS!" she shouted. "But the recipe isn't the only thing that makes this dessert special. I enhanced our cooking station by using premium fire dust crafted by the Schnee Dust Company. We also used an ice based dust to chill the thick cream we used. I take it the resulting flavor will speak for itself."

"Well just have to see about that, won't we?" Ragna considered as he got a forkful of the cake, cream, and of course a bit of strawberry. 'They're my friends... but I've got to be fair and give them an honest review, even if it means tearing into them for this.' Taking a bite of the basic food...

The recipe was of course a simple one, a lot of work going into very basic results... but that wasn't to its detriment. Much like Blake and Yang's sushi from before, every part of this dish had been prepared perfectly. From its fluffy and air light cake, to the rich and smooth cream, to the fresh strawberry that leaked its juices into the other key components. Ragna didn't offer them any words of reviews, simply...

"Thanks for the treat."

'...It's taking everything he can to stay composed on the stage right now,' Jin observed, looking at Ragna's barely shaking hands at his sides. He eyed the girls as they passed him by on their way back to their cooking station, confused with Ragna's non-review. 'I'm not saying that's a guaranteed win... but getting him that wordless takes obvious skill.'

"QUIT STALLING!" came shouting from the stands.

'Not that any of these idiots could see that.'

"YEAH TELL US WHOSE DISH IS THE BEST SO WE CAN TELL YOU HOW WRONG YOU ARE!"

"HE'S NOT JUST WRONG! YOU"VE ALREADY SEEN HOW BIASED HE IS TO HIS FRIENDS!"

"I get the feeling that if he was really biased to his friends that he would've given us a scalding review no matter what we made him," Kagura noted.

"People will usually think whatever will allow them to hold onto their pride," Amane concurred beside his partner. "Though even I can't know for certain who will win the day."

"Even if it's painfully clear the groups that are up for taking the prize home."

Ragna didn't say anything, only heading off the stage and heading out the auditorium doors to backstage. This did nothing to garner support from the crowd, quite the opposite as they shouted insults at him and demanded that he finish what he started. Tsubaki came off from the side to address the crowd.

"We're terribly sorry, we're just handling a small house keeping matter at the moment. I promise my partner will have the results out shortly." Though her words were fair and her voice was calm, there was an underlying authority about her that wasn't unlike Instructor Goodwitch. Though their attitude hadn't changed, the crowd had at least silenced themselves enough to where she could leave the stage and find her partner...

...doubled over a garbage can and trying not to vomit.

"Don't tell me that's from Ruby and Weiss's dish," she demanded as Ragna shook his head, still fiercely holding onto his stomach. "Then what?"

"All of those dishes... were so damn drastically different..." Ragna muttered as his stomach lurched. "And all of them before Azrael's were so damn bad..."

"So all of the good dishes were really grouped in the end?" Tsubaki asked. Surprising both Ragna and herself, she gently began rubbing her partner's back to ease his discomfort. "Any idea who's going to win?"

"That's the other problem, none of them really have a single clear advantage over the others in terms of flavor," he admitted as he slowly started to rise, only to lurch forward again as his stomach continued to punish him.

"So... you'll just have to go with your gut?" she determined.

"Don't say gut," he whimpered, not unlike someone who'd had Noel's Death Dinner. Of course it wasn't that painful, but still. "Either way, I've got a contest to run and it wouldn't even matter if I tried anything to save face."

"Poor guy."

"...Heh, would you be doing this for me if this was still the start of the quarter?" the Reaper asked with a mild chuckle.

"Probably not... Wait, maybe you can't do anything to appease the crowd, but it's possible that I still can." Before Ragna could question what she meant, she'd gone back through the doors to confront the auditorium crowd. Thanks to his enhanced hearing, he just barely managed to hear what she was saying to the impatient crowd. "Sorry everyone for the wait, and I have to apologize for another problem we've had. This small device that I have here is supposed to censor Ragna when he swears for effect... but unfortunately the device seems to be malfunctioning so it wasn't able to contain his language. Thankfully I noticed the problem and Ragna caught onto my signals, otherwise his language would've only gotten further out of hand."

'Wait, that's right! I didn't swear at all as soon as I got to the better cooking!' Ragna realized. 'I was too damn panicked to find a bad dish that I doubt I even could've tried to.'

"That's why we needed Ragna to seem a little nicer at the end of the competition. Sorry everyone, I'm sure your dishes were all amazing."

"Is that really true?" one of the unselected chefs asked.

"Look who's telling us; she's a model student and such a stickler for the rules that I think she's physically incapable of lying."

"Plus she hates her partner more than we do, no way she wouldn't take this chance to sell him out here."

'Holy shit, it's working,' Ragna realized as his partner came back with a victorious smile on her face. "I..."

"Surprised?" she asked him jokingly. What she hadn't expected was for her Team Leader to get down on one knee and firmly grasp her hand. "Wh-what are you-!?"

"Please marry my brother! I'm begging you!" Ragna shouted in an... odd display of gratitude.

"R-Ragna! I already told you that's not going to happen!" Tsubaki shouted, though such words were going against the obvious blush on her face. "A-And you should be more worried about choosing the winning dish! I might've made things easier to believe for the crowd, but you still need to make a decision out there."

"Don't worry about that, I'll make my decision and be done with it," Ragna promised... before doubling over yet again. "Once my *BEEP* stomach lets me... Get rid of that thing, it's supposed to be broken."

"No, I don't think I will," Tsubaki said as she held tightly onto the censoring device.

'...Note to self, bribe Yang to break it.'

Meanwhile the Auditorium

"Never would I imagine Miss Yayoi would go so far for her partner after the rocky start that the two of them had during their Entrance Exam," Ozpin noted from his seat off to the side with Goodwitch. "This bodes well for those two, the entire team, and possibly Beacon itself with how far they could make it in the Vytal Festival."

"It almost sounds like you have a plan, but there's no way whatsoever that you've been manipulating the events around either of them, least of all Ragna the Bloodedge." Goodwitch said irately in turn. "I swear, with all of the special privileges you've been giving him it's almost like you're not even allowing him the chance to fail."

"It's not that I can't allow him to fail, I've simply given him a chance for more suitable situations so that he might thrive in his work. He's had to work hard for the privilege to reap the benefits he currently does, though I'll admit he's certainly a promising investment for Beacon's future." 'And quite possibly the Future of Remnant as we know it.' Trying to get out of his more serious thoughts, Ozpin then gave his colleague a sly smile. "But if I didn't know any better, I'd have to guess you're still bitter that you couldn't be his censor today."

"Hmph," Glynda huffed moodily. "You might've wanted me anyways, our resident foul mouth just got back on stage."

'Let's get this over with,' Ragna told himself as he hoped his still aching stomach would be able to make it through announcing the winning pair. "Despite all of my swearing from the start, all of you did well in presenting your dishes." This was just a hollow lie to reinforce what Tsubaki was trying to do. Normally he didn't care what most people thought of him, but if his partner was willing to go through all of the trouble to help him it would be in his best interest to at least play along with her plan. "That being said, I've got to get a winning prize to one pair of cooks. And that pair is..."

Azrael and Noel

'Giving the award to my own teammates is probably going to piss 'em off no matter what Tsubaki tried, but dammit if I don't want more of that Kick-Ass Chili.' "The prize goes to Noel Vermillion and Azrael."

"HAH!" the Mad Dog bellowed with victory as he slammed his fist into his open palm, managing to create a small shock wave. "If any of you weaklings have a problem with that, you're more than welcome to critique my chili yourself... IF it doesn't knock you out on your first bite."

"I... I can't believe it..." Noel said as her eyes started tearing up. "We won..."

"Technically Azrael won," Jin informed from the station besides them. "Your part of the dish never even made it to-"

"Hell yeah we won, blondie!" Azrael shouted, both silencing Jin's criticisms and bolstering Noel's self confidence. "So stand tall! Look proud! You're on top of the cooking world!"

"I.. I AM!" Noel said fiercely with renewed self worth... Jin wisely decided not to ruin the moment.

"Well that's great and all, but let's get to the mystery prize," Ragna said as he grabbed an envelope out of his pocket that Ozpin had given him earlier. "You both are getting-"

"Exactly what I want."

"I mean sure, if what you want is SHIT!"

Ragna just barely managed to dodge the Mad Dog's wild swing at him as his teammate closed in on the stage in the blink of an eye. The Reaper recognized this kind of blood lust and knew that it wasn't going to be easy to talk him out of it.

"You think I want some paltry offering to a superior chef?! No no! What I need is a chance to prove myself again! This time WITH MY FISTS!" he then performed a powerful overhead kick that cracked the stage in half as Ragna leapt back.

"THAT WAS A KICK YOU IDIOT! AND WE JUST GOT PUT ON CLEANING DUTY FOR THAT RADIO SHOW DAMMIT!" the Reaper roared as he was forced to guard against Azrael full body tackle, though it still managed to send him off his feet. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!?"

"I'm thinking that Noel should make food for the loser, something to heal their wounds with," Azrael offered sadistically.

"Really? Well Mai ate my coleslaw earlier, but I might have a recipe for puffer fish that-!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT!? I'M DONE PLAYING NICE WITH YOU!" Ragna shouted as he grabbed a spare frying pan and slammed Azrael over the head with it, though that only seemed to make the Mad Dog even more eager. "MAYBE BEATING YOUR ASS OVER THE ACADEMY WILL FINALLY GET YOU TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! COME AT ME YOU BASTARD!"

"THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK!"

As the titanic battle between the two unfolded, the majority students fled the auditorium screaming their heads off at the destruction behind them... Ozpin on the other hand only gave a heavy sigh, realizing that he'd caused more damage to his Academy than he'd anticipated.

Amane and Kagura

'Oh that bastard's never going to let me hear the end of this, and I doubt that dancer's going to be much better.' "The prize goes to Kagura and Amane for their Ramen."

"I made the flavors dance nearly as well as I can," Amane bragged.

"Any cute girls out there that need cooking lessons, be sure to let me know," the Black Gale offered with a wink. "I'm sure that I'll be able to teach a thing or two to you lovelies..."

'Annnnnnd this is already killing me, but I've made my choice so I guess I've got to live with it,' Ragna groaned as he opened the envelope containing their prize. "Looks like you both get a free class to... the hell is Zumba?"

"Our grand prize is a class to... learn Zumba," Amane repeated, showing distaste for the first time since anyone had seen him. "As if I need to be taught a class in the art of dance workouts! Why, I have half a mind to complain to-!"

"Don't ruin this for me!" Kagura shouted at his partner. "All of the girls there in sweatpants and sports bras... Sweat glistening on their skin... Their bodies bouncing with every movement... SIGN ME THE HELL UP!"

"...Upon further consideration I've decided to go along and accept the prize; perhaps I can teach that class a thing or two," the dancer reconsidered. "I have to wonder if shirts are optional for the men, do they need them to cling tight or are they allowed to bear their bodies to the world?"

'God dammit, it feels like I'm entitling these perverts.'

Blake and Yang

'I know that picking these two is only going to cause more drama around the school, but if they make a sushi plate so damn good that my master would eat it without a second thought that's gotta mean something.' "Your winners today are Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long."

"Freshness in your feast!" Yang shouted as he victor's cry. Blake as usual was doing her best to remain silent and was more than a little uncomfortable with all of the Academy's eyes on her though she still couldn't help but feel proud with their win.

"Way to go sis!" Ruby congratulated her sister, never one to feel bitter about a loss. "Maybe when we tell dad you actually won a cooking contest, he'll let you get within 6 feet of the stove again!"

"Not when he finds out that the only reason they won is because she didn't cook," Weiss reminded.

"Don't ruin this for me Ice Queen," Yang demanded, leaving Weiss to give a huff. "So what's the grand prize we just won? Don't keep us waiting now!"

"I'm getting to it, jeeze," Ragna muttered as he opened the letter. "Looks like it's-" Only to get the prize ripped out of his hands by Yang. "HEY!"

"You were talking too long," she said as she looked over her reward. "Awesome! Night club passes!"

'Wait, what?' Blake's questioned in her head. Looking to Ragna for confirmation, the best he could give her was a casual shrug.

"That's right! We get four passes to the Lunar Palace Night Club! It's a VIP only dance club that's top reviewed in the city!" Yang elaborated with excitement. "I've been trying to get into this place forever!"

'Guess I know what my plans are for tonight,' Ragna realized with a heavy sigh. 'Wait, if they got four tickets then that would leave one leftover. Who's it-?'

"Operation GIRLS NIGHT: BEGIN!" Yang shouted as she grabbed Blake's arm before scooping up her sister and Weiss. There were shouts of protest for the three as she ran out the auditorium's exit to prepare for a night on the town.

'Looks like you're getting left out of this one chief... Wait, why the hell am I disappointed? I hate dancing.'

Nora and Ren

'This might just be that my own hot cakes are usually pretty lacking, but these two know how to make a good stack of 'em. Enough to impress me anyways.' "The prize is going home with Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren."

"VICTORY!" the mallet user shouted as she gave twin peace signs and held them high. Ren's reaction was a lot more subtle, simply giving the smallest smile and a nod to the man that had delivered the news. "Ren! You can at least try to act excited!"

"But I am excited," Ren told her in a voice that wasn't any different than how he usually spoke... the weird thing was, most people believed that this would be how someone of Ren's character would emote 'excited.'

'Why are people saying that I'm his closest friend outside of Nora when I can't even tell what he's thinking half the damn time?' Ragna couldn't help but wonder. "Either way let's take a look at what you've coming your way as a reward." Reading through the details of the paper, it certainly looked like it was outlining the possibility of a double date, likely including their entire team. "It looks like you both just got reservations for the Paradis Au Bord De L'eau restaurant in Vale City that's good for up to a group of four. Normally you'd have to wait at least three months to even get a table at this place and have to shill out god knows how much for a decent meal, but this special pass will get you a reservation within the week at their best table and the group's meals will be paid for."

"Nice, sounds really exclusive and fancy!" Nora said eagerly, though Ragna sort of figured that she was really happy because this sounded like a romantic outing for her and Ren. "Oh man, I bet we'll all have to get super dressed, get our hair done, all of that stuff. Maybe we should wait a bit to call so we can-?"

"What day works for you?"

Nora stood in abject horror as her partner (without missing anything resembling a beat) had invited not her to the special dinner plans that were next to impossible to obtain, not Jaune his team leader... but an increasingly concerned Ragna. She felt herself shake as she fought desperately to get her temper under control.

"...Ren?" The way she simply spoke her teammate's name. There was a cold and dead stillness to it that would normally be impossible to affiliate with someone with Nora's disposition. Ragna knew that for this particular moment, he wasn't the Reaper in the room. "Why... did you ask him to dinner instead of your partner?"

"I didn't think there was much point to asking you," he answered honestly.

'GOD DAMMIT REN! READ THE ROOM!'

"I mean those tickets are already for us winning the contest, so it's already a point that we're going to this restaurant together. I decided to bring Ragna with me as a tag along, so now you can choose however you'd want to bring along as well."

Nora didn't say anything in response. Only breathing in deeply with her nostrils, she took out her scroll and started typing something out. Ren just gave a mild shrug as he headed for the top of the stage to get the tickets from Ragna, who couldn't stop staring at his friend with an awestruck expression.

"Thanks I think, but why are you looking at me like that?"

"...Three reasons," Ragna finally spoke with a sigh. "First off, you should know that I absolutely can't stand those high class hosh and posh places. I always feel like I'm choking on the atmosphere and the food you get there is never worth it, even if you're offering it for free." Ren scratched the back of his head, realizing he might've wanted to ask that this was something that Ragna even wanted to do. "Second... you're giving some people a couple of really wrong ideas if you're asking me instead of Nora."

'Wrong ideas?' It was then that Ren finally looked to the crowd and saw what Ragna was seeing, several girls and even a few guys who seemed... interested in his choice. It didn't take Ren long to realize what they were thinking and slowly begin to wonder just how long they'd carried these ideas about the two. "I... see. But wait, what's the third reason?"

"It's..."

CRASH!

"...That."

They both saw the locker crash through the ceiling. They both saw it land behind Nora. They both saw as she reached inside and grabbed out her prized hammer... before turning to face the boys with murder in her eyes. Giving a scream, she leaped high up into the air with the vengeance of a thousand damned souls.

"YOU IDIOTS!"

Mai and Makoto

'Even though this is supposed to be a competition for Beacon, it looks like I've gotta give this prize to the two visiting students here. This has gotta sting for everyone, hell even Ozpin might be pissed with the choice... even if he probably won't show it. "Mai and Makoto from Haven Academy."

"Squirrel power for the win!" Admittedly that some people weren't just unhappy with the fact that the winners were from outside the Academy, but that one of them happened to be a Faunus... that made it just a little more worth it for Ragna.

"Huh? But I thought for sure that Noel's dish would win," Mai had to mention.

"Like there's a chance in hell of that," Jin muttered under his breath.

"Oi, I still gotta present you both with your prize," Ragna called from the top of the stage, trying to get the situation both under control and over with. "Both of you, for winning the competition you'll be getting... you'll be getting... you'll..."

"Huh? What are we getting?" Makoto asked as she noticed Ragna's face slowly start to turn red. "What the-?"

"Ragna, what are you doing?" Tsubaki demanded as she finally joined her partner on the stage. "Just go and say the prize."

"I can't give them THIS," Ragna hissed so that only Tsubaki could hear him. "And who the hell would give this as a prize!? It's a damn-!"

"LINGERIE GIFT CARD!?"

The entire room was hit with the sudden shock of the prize's reveal and the... scandal that went along with it. Ozpin was confused... well he was mostly aghast, but well enough confused. Beside him Goodwitch said nothing, oddly not taking this chance to put Ragna in neck deep trouble. A small drop of blood fell from Kagura's nose, par for the course at this point.

"I had NO PART IN THIS!" Ragna shouted with a dramatic wave of his arms, trying to make his stance clear.

"Yeah right! You spend more time with an all girls team than you do with your own group!" one of the female students shouted from the stands.

"I bet this pervert planned this all along! This is completely repulsive!" shouted another girl

"You're not just two timing someone, it's even worse than that!" a third screamed.

'It's kind of hypocritical when all three of you have already been seen making out with Kagura in broad daylight,' Tsubaki noted in her partner's defense, though she was still a little frazzled with the prize. "Hold on, there's already a name put on the card. It looks like it's made out to-"

SNAP!

Everyone jolted as the card snapped into pieces in front of them before they were flung to the far corners of the room. Ragna immediately turned to the only one who possessed such abilities, a blonde woman with a particularly peeved expression on her face.

'That is the last time I let Litchi be a secret Santa...'

Jaune and Pyrrha

'In the short time since I've known him, Jaune's managed to grow leaps and bounds. And the thing is that he doesn't even know it, I gotta wonder what he'd actually be able to do with the right mind set... maybe we can get a look of that right now.' "The prize goes to Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos."

"U-Us?" Jaune said as he couldn't help but point to himself to try and confirm it was true.

"Is there anyone else named Jaune here at the Academy," Pyrrha questioned rhetorically with a smile. "You did really well in making that Jaune, I'm proud of you."

"Oh, uh... I think you probably ended up getting us that win," he told her modestly with an embarrassed blush, but a happy smile.

"You're both wrong, the whole point of this is that it's an effort between partners," Ragna explained to them. "You both add to the other's strengths, cover the other's weakness, and come up with a result that's better than the sum of its parts. You're going to need that kind of teamwork to get you through the road ahead." 'Like you're one to talk, jackass...'

'That... was very well said,' Ozpin noted with a small bit of teacherly pride. 'I hadn't expected these results, but it seems that even Ragna's surprises can be turned for the better on occasion.'

'Ragna and I still need to work on our teamwork, actually at this point I think that we'd need to establish it first,' Tsubaki realized. 'I guess this means we can try to take a page out of their book about working together.'

"Philosophy aside, let's see what our winning pair's taking home with them," the Reaper said as he tried to get the prize announcement back on track. "And... Oh, looks like you're both going to be taking part in a photo op."

"We are?" Jaune asked before turning to Pyrrha. "You've done those before, haven't you?"

"Yep, and they're nothing to worry about," she promised. "You just need to pose for a few pictures, they've usually got a crew to make sure you're looking nice, and they've usually got a beautiful location to promote."

"Right, it looks like this one's taking place at the Vale Cathedral to promote the Academy," Ragna further explained as he read through the prize details. "Both of you will need to show up in both your school uniforms and your combat gear for the photos. You'll also..."

"Also what?" Jaune had to ask, knowing by the face Ragna was making that he was in for trouble.

"...If the students wish for it, they will also have a few pictures taken of their special seasonal package. This package will provide the students with both a tuxedo and..." Ragna took a deep breath as he decided to let this chaos unfold. "... A Wedding Dress."

"A... A WHAT!?" Jaune couldn't help but scream as his face was flush a deep crimson. In addition to her hair, Ragna noticed that Pyrrha seemed pretty darned red herself. Behind them there seemed to be plenty of faces covered with a jealous rage, apparently pretty big fans of the Academy's local celebrity. Closer to the stage however...

"HERE COMES THE BRIDE! HERE COME THE BRIIIIIIIIIDE~!"

...You had Nora and Makoto.

"This isn't for real!" Jaune yelled in protest. "We're not actually getting married!"

"I know, I know..." the mallet user begam with a wicked smile on her face. "But it still might make good practice for the day you too actually do the knot."

"You realize that we don't have to have to do the final photo op?" Pyrrha tried to say realistically.

"Maybe," Makoto admitted. "But are you both really sure you want to send the message that there's no chance between you two, that this is as far as either of you want the relationship to go? That you're both open to seeing other people?"

"We're-! I-!?" Jaune sputtered for a few seconds before he turned to the contest's judge, hoping to gain some sliver of guidance similar to when he'd needed training earlier in the year.

...Ragna had nothing.

Jin and Celica

'Oh boy, if bais had already set them off so bad then they're going to give me a knife in back after I tell them I'm giving the prize to my own little brother. Ah hell, he earned this one though.' "Prize goes to Jin and Celica."

"Hmph, the rest of you mongrels might want to take notes," Jin advised, earning more harsh glares from his poor winning attitude.

"I had a lot of fun competing, great work all of you!" Thankfully Celica was there to soften the blow a little with her cheery and well meaning demeanor. "So what kind of prize did we win? Is it a full cooking set? Are we going to appear on a special cooking show? Are we-!?"

"How's about I open the letter and you dial it back a couple of notches?" he suggested as he did just that. Celica giggled, showing that she was still really excited to see what the prize was. "Looks like you both are going to be set up with a double date to Paradis Au Bord De L'eau, one of those stuffy gourmet restaurants."

"It doesn't sound like you're a fan of that type of place," Celica realized.

"I'm really not, but it's not any of my damn business anyways. Prize goes to the two of you and whoever you want to bring."

"That's true, but..." Celica began sadly before she gave her usual bright smile. "I guess that just means we'll have to go out somewhere else on our date!"

"Yeah, preferably somewhere that doesn't- HOLD ON! WHAT!?" Ragna shouted. "Where the hell is that coming from!?"

"Well you said it was a double date, so of course I'm bringing you with me!" Celica said happily.

"You've got to be kidding me, that bastard's managed to sink his fangs into another one?" an angry (jealous) male second year called out.

"Jeeze, this guy's a total parasite," another decided (desperately wishing he could change places).

"SHARE DAMMIT!" ...The third was rather frank with what he wanted.

"Kagura is right here, you assholes," the Reaper muttered.

"That won't be happening."

"What the-? Jin?" Celica asked in shock. "Why not!?"

"I refuse to let you have Ragna as your date," he told her stubbornly... before his eyes turned sadistic and he grabbed out a carving knife. "BECAUSE BROTHER'S GOING TO BE MY DATE!"

"And he's back to this version of this personality. Good lord," Ragna muttered, breaking the fourth wall even further with who he addressed next. "Oi, writer. Get us to the next possibility, things are going to get weird around here if you don't."

"NO BROTHER! LET ME TELL YOU ALL THE WAYS I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WHILE SOUNDING ODDLY SEXUAL ABOUT IT! OUR FANBASE CAN KEEP THIS CREEPY FETISH GOING!"

"NEXT SCENE!"

"Jeeze, and it's even between siblings? That is SO screwed up," Yang commented.

"Yeah, I'm glad that our fanbase never puts US together like that," Ruby added... with a scowl.

"For the love of..." Ragna could only grumble. "NEXT!"

Ruby and Weiss

'The obvious crowd reaction that's going to come with this aside, and what this little dessert means for me, the cake that these two made... it was really something.' "The grand prize goes to Ruby Rose and Weiss Schnee for their Strawberry Shortcake."

"We did it!" Ruby shouted as she threw her arms around Weiss which was actually returned.

"Of course we won; we had the Schnee Dust Company's best product helping in the process," Weiss said haughtily. "Anything less than an absolute win would be an insult."

"Don't forget my family recipe! That had to weigh in as well!"

"...Maybe," Weiss could slowly admit. She honestly loved having so many eyes on her in this moment of victory... even if she knew there were several glares directed at Ragna for his decision. "Still, it was a good contest."

'With seven of the other teams maybe,' Ragna thought as he considered how bad most of the early meals had been. Feeling his stomach give a lurch, he decided it was best not to think about it and just get the final announcement over with. "And you've won... two prizes. The first is a gift card to Red Hawk Armories, a prominent smithing agency with a heavy focus on transforming-"

"WEAPONS!" Ruby squealed with sparkles in her eyes. Ragna knew that this prize was going to get his best friend excited, but even he was just a little shocked with how much so. "And how much is the gift card for!?"

"...It looks like it's good for any two weapon enhancements you want; it can be the same weapon or applied to two different ones," he explained.

'Red Hawk... that group's a direct competitor with my family since they sell Dust on the side,' Weiss thought, remembering all of the grievances her father had with the group. 'I can't be seen shopping there, even if it's only for my weapon I need to-!'

"Gimme!" Ruby screamed as she used her speed semblance to blitz forward and grab the card right out of Ragna's hand. "Weapons await!" Still using her speed semblance, she scooped up her partner and headed out the academy doors.

"Ruby! Wait! I can't be seen shopping at-!" But her protest seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"...There was another prize in here," Ragna said, though the winners were likely a full mile away by now. "And here I thought leading with a lifetime supply of cookies would be the bad move."

"They always say lifetime supply," Yang commented. "But in Ruby's case..."

"An hour?"

"Half of one at best."

?

"The prize goes to... none of you."

With all of the shit that the crowd had been prepared to give Ragna earlier, they didn't actually have anything to comment on this. Here they'd been so prepared for him to announce two of his close friends, his family, or his (in their eyes) harem as the winners, but now he was saying that there wasn't going to be a winner at all. Even Ozpin for all of his planning didn't seem to have anything to say about this... though Goodwitch was already planning a punishment for Ragna should this go poorly.

"But... you have to announce a winner. ...Don't you?" Ruby asked from down below.

"Ragna! What are you doing?" Tusbaki hissed at her partner, knowing that what she'd done for him earlier was about to go to full waste. "You can't just leave us here without a winner!"

"I don't think he is!" Celica Mercury said cheerfully. "I think he's just telling us that he can't announce a winner because WE ALL WIN!" ...People found that just a little hard to believe coming from someone like Ragna. "All the food he tasted was so good that he couldn't just pick one dish! We're all going home with-!"

"Sorry, but no. Over half of those dishes were complete shit anyways," Ragna said, once again making the crowd enraged with his behavior. "Like I said, none of these dishes are the winner. Not even any of the halfway decent ones."

"Ragna the Bloodedge, you are going against your duties and acting completely outrageous," Ozpin said, for the first time sounding cross with the Reaper. "I chose you for this event because I trusted that you'd be able to give an interesting set of commentary and be able to select a winning dish at the end. Are you truly unable to do this?"

"No, I'm not," Ragna told him simply. "But the real winner of this contest..."

Ragna then grabbed the stage curtain and tore it off with amazing force, revealing one final cooking station behind him with a tower of quality meats, spices, and other ingredients that might go into preparing a sauce. Looking back to the students, the Reaper had a crazed look in his eyes.

"IS ME!"

"What's this asshole doing now!?" one of the students from the stands shouted as Ragna leaped over to his personal cooking station. "How can he just announce himself the winner like that!?"

"I call bullshit! He shouldn't have even been the judge in the first place!"

"This was a total waste of time! I should sue the school for-! ...What's he doing?"

"What the hell!? How's he moving in a complete blur like that!? I can barely make out what he's doing!"

"And how's the meat getting cooked that quickly!? He's barely putting it in the flame and it's coming out perfectly cooked seconds later!"

"The way he's moving... It's like he's breaking the laws of physics just by cooking!"

In less than a minute Ragna had the previous tower of meat cooked through, seasoned, sauced, and skewered. A full ten tables worth (no idea where those came from) of his signature barbeque laid before him as he looked on the shocked faces of the school. His arms crossed in complete dominance, he gave everyone a nasty sneer.

"Well? Give it a try, why don't you?"

"What the hell is this? Aren't you supposed to be the straight man in these jokes?" Azrael grumbled as he looked around, everyone else was too terrified to even approach. "Fine you cowards, I'll try it myself." The Mad Dog took one bite of food, one SINGLE bite of food... before bowing to Ragna's feet. "I AM NOT WORTHY!"

"Azrael? What are you..." Tsubaki couldn't even finish her own semblance before she was hit by the overwhelming urge to also try her Team Leaders cooking. Like with her teammate, all it took was the one fight to get her defenses to crumple. "This isn't food, it's..."

"THE WORK OF GOD!" Ragna bellowed. At that point there was no use resisting; the whole student body no matter how much some of them hated Ragna rushed forward like animals all to get a single taste of the food before it was gone. Like with all the others, it was long before they were singing his literal praises.

"ALL HAIL TO RAGNA! THE UNDISPUTED KING OF COOKING!" they all chanted in their food filled bliss.

"ONWARD MY ARMY!" Ragna called and they all obeyed him. "MY GOD CRAFTED COOKING WILL HAVE CONQUERED VALE BY THE END OF TODAY! AND SOON THE WORLD!"

"...And I've created a complete megalomaniac through his culinary abilities," Ozpin noted with a heavy facepalm. Turning beside him he expected to get some remarks from Goodwitch along the lines of I told you so, only to find that she'd departed with the rest of the army. "Not the way I expected today to go..."

Author's Note

Be honest, who kinda wants to see a continuation of that last ending where Ragna somehow conquers Remnant through cooking alone?

Either way, I'm afraid that wouldn't be happening for a while. My chapters have been suspect to a few delays, but I feel like I need my stories to start going places. My new goal is to bring out new chapters on the main story until I'm done with the Arc. I've already got a road map in mind, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Anyways, leave a review and let me know what your favorite ending was/ who you thought should win. I'm honestly curious.

So I've got reviews from two chapters to tackle, so let's get to it.

Chapter 8

EpicLinkSam: It's Panne from Fire Emblem Awakening, but I let you know that earlier.

Wlyman2009: My first time writing something with her... I honestly don't write a lot for Litchi in general.

ArmantusCumPinnae: If Ragna found something like that... OH GOD NO.

The Unplanner: A typo, but you had a funny idea for it

P3R50N4: If I did have that happen again, I'd have to think who she'd try it with. I certainly couldn't do it with Goodwitch just yet, as that has to be the grand finale.

Chapter 9

EpicLinkSam: The less said about modern day Disney, the better. But thanks for the tribute you made for this on your channel.

Wlyman2009: Mine as well, though Lady and the Tramp is my close second.

The Unplanner: Thanks for the lengthy review.

Mugen7: Cat Ears are amazing and the whole mess was worth it for Ragna in the end.

Fernandamichelleraya: Not... exactly, all will be revealed later on.

BloodedgetheReaper2113: That ending was an idea I'd had brew around for over half a year.

Zero: Yep

12345: Turns out that it's actually been used for a few of these things, which I didn't realize until I made this.

Guest: Thanks.

Yuki Terumi: A true piece of art, eh? High praise coming from Terumi... in two different reviews.

Bismarck Alexander: A lot to ponder over, but I'm glad we cleared things up over PMs.

Paladin9800: Great to hear from you as always.

Until Next Time! Ciao!