Just in case you ask, yes I did put these answer on my chemistry test, and yes I passed it, and no I have not seen my therapist or physiologist lately.
I think there went on vacation or something, But I can never reach them on their cell phones...
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So there I was in my first period, Chemistry, doing another test. "I hate this class" I thought, "I knew I should have taken Zoology..." but none the less here I was taking my Chapter 12 test, "Chemical Reactions."
What do I need to know this for? All I need to know is "Take this and mix it with that, but don't mix this in or you'll blow up the damn building" (which, by the way, has happened before but that's another story all together)
" Oh-well , Hakuna Matata..." I sighed and proceeded to start the test..
snap!
"God damn cheap-ass school supplies!" I angrily thought out loud as I got up rather agitated at the fact that I have to get up to sharpen my pencil... great, now people are staring at me...
5 minutes later...
ok question #7, "Give an example of combustion" Umm..., ok
"Suppose there's a lion that's a pyromaniac, and his mother (who's probably bipolar) tells him to go and burn up some guy named Simba's water deprived lawn, which his nymphomaniacal daughter just happens to be hunting in. So he and his gothic sister go to some graveyard and find some random sticks and set them on fire. So now the the the rather scruffy looking lion (who probably wouldn't know what to do with a lioness if his life depend on it) decides to put his head in the vent which he just used to light up the stick (Is this lion a Genius or what?) So as you would expect it explodes right in his face. 'Whoa! FIRE! ha ha ha ha!' shouts the lion gleefully as he runs off. Later on there he and his sister are on the hill as he call out 'Let's light FIRE!' as he charges forward to his battle cry of 'Roasty toasty princess! roasty toast the princess! HA! HA! HA!' completely unaware that he's trapped in a circle of fire. "Hey is hot in here or it just me?" (me: no it just you) "Fire!" cries the lion as he jumps 10 times higher than is physically possible for a member of the species Panthera Leo. And some the lion survives the fall to the ground then arise to look at his handy work he he ha starts the lion before his gothic sister grabs him shouting 'come on!' and to this day the mystery of The Pridelands Arsonist remains unsolved."
5 more minutes later...
Question #15 "The energy that maintains your body temperature close to 37ºC"
"What is the thoughts that I have for my one true love Nala? And the hope that she'll someday just leave Simba to cope with his daddy problems to be with the one who truly loves her...and could probably last longer than fifteen-twenty seconds?"
5 more minutes later...
Question #23, "Why is the SI unit of energy, also the approbate unit of measuring heat?"
"Because heat and energy are related, the base SI unit of energy, the Joule (J), also serves as the base unit of heat." (I actually knew this one)
5 more minutes later... but I think you get the idea by now, word in italics means some amount of time just passed, in the case of this story, 5 minutes.
Question #31, "All combustion reactions are..."
"Nuka's fault"
5 minutes remaining in the test...
"Finally, the last question, thank Aiheu..."
Question #40, "Provide an analogy that explains why bond breaking requires energy"
"Ok if that nymphomaniac Kiara and Kovu are girlfriend and boyfriend (which it is so obvious they are not) they there for share a bond. Now that bond will stay intact so long as Kovu doesn't cheat on Kiara. So let's say that Kovu cheated on Kiara for Nala (In which I would have to hill him). Now that would release more energy than a five year old hopped up on Mountain Dew ®... boy that was random... Marshmallows!
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Fear my randomness! (and thank-you for reading.)
Please Review!
-Guardian Panthera