Title: Strohblume (Everlasting) PART ONE
Author: Sweet Xia
Series: The Last Vampire by Christopher Pike
Synopsis: Sita's past catches up to her again as she encounters a figure from her past that threatens to steal everything dear from her. Written from Sita's POV (like the original novels).
Warnings: Blood and violence (in future installments). Angst. Bad writing.


Strohblume (Everlasting)

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Is eternity really enough?

Is it enough time to heal - heal from the scars of a former existence, to heal from a lifetime of shattered dreams? Will eternity be long enough to finally gain the redemption that is truly desired before one dies?

My name, right now, is Alisa Perne, though this name is only one I use for this lifetime, for a few decades until I can find another. My birth name - my real name - is Sita, Sita of India, an Aryan who inhabited that country in another lifetime that seems too long ago.

I am also a vampire - a demon - one who has lived for over 5000 years. A monster born from the unholy kiss between a mortal woman, and a man with the dark blood of a devil running through his expansive veins. With that kiss, he killed her that night, stole her life-force. And I am the result - one that looks the same on the outside, but yet, at the same time, someone who cannot call herself human. Does not have the right to even use that term. Demons are forbidden to know what it is to be human. Even if they take the form of one, act like one, dream like one...

And yet, I survive. It is an instinct. I want to live, and have done so up until now. For many millenia, I have hunted, fed, existed...but never really lived. Demons don't truly live. Yes, they breathe, their hearts beat within their chest. In most cases, people hold the presumption that we are alive, but this is not true. Vampires are not filled with the spirit, the life-force that humans possess. And that is why we must feed on that thick liquid known as blood, the liquid that gives life to all, even to the living dead.

I have learnt now that a demon, such as myself, its fate is to both suffer and make those surrounding them suffer just as greatly. Born to only take, never to give. To take innocence, to take blood and life - that is what I do, and I am very good at it. I love it, but conversely, hate it.

Eternity...

Is eternity really enough? I have often asked myself questions like this during my long life. And every time, I cannot come up with an appropriate answer. A long time yes, but because my whole life has been about the kill, the feeding - it is difficult to answer.

These thoughts consume my mind at this time, as I sit on a hill, taking in the fresh night air. Like most vampires, I have a love of the night that is stronger than mere mortals. Often I get this desire to escape from everything and return to this place because of the relative peace it gives my soul. Hardly anyone comes here, and that is what I prefer.

I inhale the nighttime under the shade of a massive elm tree, its branches casting shadows within shadows over my body. This tree overlooks the city, watching a spectacular view, and the winking lights of the metropolis fill me with a strange wistfulness. It is alive, busy. Many people sleep, yet many still are awake, going along their lives without a care in the world. I can, even from here, sense the blood that flows through their veins - rich, red, teeming with life and energy - and I suddenly feel sad, rather than hungry. For now, my taste for blood has vanished, replaced by another taste, one that is much more bitter.

I remember so many things about my long expansive life, many memories - my dear husband Rama, my darling daughter Lalita, both lost to time forever, ever since Yashka stole from me the one thing more precious than them. However, I had heard their lives were happy, even without their Sita to guide and love them. They may have been hurt and saddened by my disappearance, but that is nothing compared to what may have happened if I had refused Yaksha's offer of life eternal. For not only would I had died, but so would they. For this reason, I don't feel entirely bitter about the choice. Better a life without me than a life of death.

Yaksha had known that - and this is why he had made that unrefusable proposition to me.

But Yaksha is no more - he died long ago, by my teeth no less, the jaws of the one that he had created, so that he could be put out of his misery and pain. Even after all this time, it still hurts a bit, draining the blood from his veins, feeling his heart flutter, then stop beating, his breath dying in his throat. And as I threw his body into the teeming sea, tears filled my eyes that would not - or could not - fall.

I remember Ray - my Rama reborn. His eyes, his voice, even though he may not have resembled Rama in the least, something about the way he spoke and the spirit in his eyes, reminded me so much of my husband that my attraction to could not be denied. I had even broken my vow to Krishna so that I could save him from certain death. Not long after that, he died for real, trying to protect me, and lord knows how much I mourned his death. Rama had been lost to me again.

I also remember Kalika, the Dark Mother reincarnate, who also was my daughter. A daughter who had, like Ray, died to save my life, although at the time, I had thought she was a monster, incapable of human emotion or thought. Thus, she also perished protecting me.

As I have said, everyone who is associated with me also suffers.

Now I know that there is no one else of my kind. I truly am the last vampire. And the species will die when I die, which is the way it should be. However, right now, I just want to live. Maybe it is to gain this so-called forgiveness? Maybe it's just a selfish desire to experience more of what it is to be human?

Even so, the desire to exist is strong.

I clasp my hands together, entwining the fingers, and lean back with them behind my head, holding it up from the ground. Staring at the luminous stars in a clear night sky, I can marvel at the beauty of it all. In an interesting way, stars are like vampires - to humans they seem immortal and ever living, staying the same although time passes them by. But even stars have an allotted lifespan that they must respect, and I can see that they die, like humans do. Because my vision is so strong - I can see the fine details of craters on the moon, and can view planets and stars that cannot be seen without the use of a high powered telescope - I can actually see one die, just wink out of existence.

And with the death of that one star, I can sense something. A sound that normal humans cannot sense, but with my sensitive hearing, there is no mistaking that somebody is watching me. My body flexes slightly, not so much in fear, but just enough so I can spring up and attack if necessary. I don't know if this person is hostile or not, but in my lifetime, it is better to be prepared, lest a bullet gets lodged in your head, or a stake is put through your heart. Vampires aren't very fond of stakes, but then again, you wouldn't be if you knew that was one of the only ways that you could be killed. Fingers flatten into the ground around my head, slightly breaking the soil. My body is wound like a spring, ready to charge.

"Sita."

The voice I can hear is so soft, gentle - I recognise it, but I do not know why. And then I realise that it is reverberating throughout my head - the person is speaking into my mind, a silent conversation that is playing for only us two, for nobody else.

"Who...who is it?" my mind responds nervously, which is unusual for me, as I do not scare easily, if not at all. Yet something about the voice - perhaps it is because the tone is so achingly familiar, or maybe it is because of the power it seems to contain. Either way, my inner voice is trembling, a smidgen of fear creeping in.

"You know, don't you?"

The voice is plain in its question. And yet, I cannot answer. All I can say is a simple, "No," in response. I cannot tell if my minds intruder is male or female, which is slightly frustrating, because if I knew, I may have a chance at remembering...

I can feel a slight bloom of offence reverberating within the person's aura at this response. Yet this subsides just as quickly, into slight annoyance, and then disappears altogether. It is upset – because I cannot recall. And I know deep within myself that this is someone I should know.

"Reveal yourself to me. Don't hide," I implore, trying to get my wits about myself. I am still on my back, body still locked into a position that makes it easy to jump up and encounter the enigmatic stranger, though my hands have moved to my sides and am currently digging my long nails into the soil, catching dirt in my palms. It feels gritty between my fingers. But I don't sense this texture. The dirt may as well be water for all I know or care. All my attention is focused on the intruder and their unusual voice.

"No. Not yet," the voice whispers, even softer and gentler than before. "Only when you remember will I show myself to you."

I see it then in my mind - a lock of dark hair, a glint of the side of a face, and even though I have excellent eyesight, I cannot distinguish this face before they turn around. The strange person's tone switches, slight amusement evident. They even chuckle a bit. "I will visit you again, Sita. And maybe next time, you will know me."

"Wait!"

I grasp forward with my mind, trying to prevent them from leaving, but too late. The voice - and figure - is gone, as if it had never been there in the first place. The world falls silent again, apart from the faint sound of the city that my vampire senses can pick up on.

However, I can taste the aura that they leave behind - an incredible pain and sadness resides within it. A feeling that is all too familiar to me, though I do not know why. Ever since I killed Yashka and absorbed his essence into my being with the intake of his blood, I have been able to sense auras, memories and even thoughts, but these abilities are not helpful at this moment. The wind begins to blow for the first time that night and I shudder and roll to my side, arms clenched around my body, nails digging slightly into my sides, drawing a miniscule amount of blood which seeps into the thin white fabric of my shirt. Vampires aren't fans of the cold, although we can tolerate it easily, and it is only then that I realise how chilly the night has become as the wind picks up strength.

However, I don't think that even a coat would have warmed the freezing cold waves that were shooting throughout my entire body and soul that night.

It was only after laying on that cool ground for what seemed like forever that I realised that I should leave. Picking myself up, paying no attention to the stains of blood and dirt marring my clothing, I get in my car and drive home, the memories still resounding through my head, the sliver of a face, that strand of hair...

It was just too familiar, and yet, my mind was still grasping at the memories of where I had heard that voice before.

"Maybe my mind isn't what it used to be in my old age", I spoke to myself, with a tinge of mock amusement residing within my voice. The corners of my mouth lifted, smiling, but really, it was a mocking smile, full of annoyance at myself for not remembering. Can vampires get dementia, I wonder? It certainly seems that way, especially since I have an encyclopedic memory, and forget very little. This slip of the mind has me worried.

It is only after I return home and literally collapse onto my made bed that I fall into a fitful sleep, exhausted from the intimate encounter that I had that night. However, I do not sleep like the dead that night, like I have so often done in the past. On the contrary, my slumber is hell, my rest not a gentle one. I toss and turn constantly, moaning, as the flood of words, of images, of smells and emotions wreak throughout my entire body, refusing to let me be.

It is a long time before I can actually be at peace.

To be Continued

Yeah, crappy. And right now, there's no real guide to what this is leading to, but I promise that there will be. Eventually. And also I promise, there WILL be much more dialogue in the next chapter, I'm just setting up the whole story. This may not be a long running fic, but I hope you continue reading!