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I'll admit I have mixed feelings on the last chapter, but I quite like how this one turned out.
Please read, review, and enjoy! : )
I do not own Hellsing.
For several minutes Amelia cried undisturbed. Most of her tears she shed for herself: the horrors she experienced, the nightmare in which she was living, and the uncertainty in her future. But there were a couple that slipped out for the vampire too, carrying the disappointment of knowing that Alucard was not someone whom she could place her trust in. Despite every instinct, a small part of her had wanted him to be good to her. It did not matter if he liked her or not; she wanted to feel safe.
You stupid, naïve, idiotic…child! Look at him!
She couldn't.
Did you really expect him to be anything but what he is? You thought you would get special treatment because you're stuck in this…this…messed up…reality…with him? He's stolen infants from their cradles and children from their beds, tortured, killed mothers and fathers, ruined the lives of those with anything left to live! Remember what he did to Mina Harker? He hated Jonathan Harker. He's exactly what you believe he is—exactly what everyone says he is.
By the time she began to run out of tears, the night had fully settled in, bringing with it a deep chill. It took a few wipes to clear her vision, and a minute more for her stinging eyes to adjust to the evening blue. What light the lamps in the harbor offered, while reaching far, seemed lower, hazier, as though a fog had rolled ashore. Alucard had not moved or spoken since she broke away, and she could not help wondering if the dark, indistinct shadow in front of her was the same vision Mina had seen drifting through the fog after arriving in Whitby.
Whitby. Is this it? She had never traveled so far north, was unable to summon an image from a postcard or book in her head. But the guess felt oddly right.
"I came here… This is the first time I've meant to come here." Her voice was rough, and she wished she had not cried so hard. She turned fully towards the town glowing behind the black slabs of tombstone and splintering grass. She did not want to accidentally catch a glimpse of Alucard's expression or risk being manipulated again. "I want to speak with you. But if you want me to leave, you don't have to ask. Tell me to leave, and I'll go. I won't come back." The last bit she could not promise, since she had no knowledge of or control over how she was coming and going. A couple of loud sniffs broke the lull of the wind, and she grabbed the cuffs of her sleeves to reduce the draft working its way up her arms, tucking her limbs close to her torso.
From here on, things would change for better or worse. She couldn't trust him, but she also couldn't manage alone. "Please tell me." Her words were both desperate and demanding. The silence stretched, and her heart became heavy with doubt.
"Stay, Harker." His voice, eerily soft, came from behind her, where she was not expecting it, and she jumped and turned half way before catching herself.
Don't look him in the eye.
Her head swung round to the light. "I…" She briefly squeezed her eyes shut, trying to straighten out the jumbled mess of her thoughts. The small flame of hope that had been flickering inside her steadied at his reply, but the effect had her panicking, scrambling to preserve its change of state. "Can you… Will you listen—please? If you don't want to help, I can't make you, uh…"
The tears were gone, but she still had not managed to calm down, her heartbeat thumping loudly in her head as she pressed her hands to her temples. Focus. Don't make things worse…!
"If you cannot tell me—"
"No, wait," she pleaded, fingers curling against her head. There were so many things she needed to tell him, that she could not remember if she had told him, that she was not sure she could properly explain.
"Will you show me?" His voice was still low, hovering just above her left ear.
Moved by unease, she spun around, one hand held over her ear. Had he been standing so close all this time? "No! What…what do you mean? I can't... You're not here—there." She wasn't making any sense. "I don't understand."
It seemed as if his eyes possessed a red, burning light of their own. It was easy to imagine a wicked smile on his lips, eager and frightening, but as hard as she peered through the darkness, she could not see it.
"I have searched and waited for days—unable to go to you, unable to bring you to me. I didn't even consider what you are capable of." When he took a step forward, she took one back. "You're not thinking, are you? Did you pay attention to what you read?" Afraid to be insulted further or abandoned for her continued lack of understanding, she said nothing, aware that her silence was just as damning.
Alucard hunched forward, and she realized she had been staring as his face came closer to hers. "You must invite me in."
For several seconds Amelia did not speak. Slowly, he straightened his posture, letting the meaning sink in.
"W-what?" Vampires could not enter a residence uninvited, but given their circumstances, was such a thing possible? And if it worked, what then?
"Take me with you when you leave. Bring me to your resting place." It felt as if all of her blood rushed to her head. An assortment of sounds left her mouth, none of which was intelligible. The vampire that had been playing at cold indifference minutes ago crept closer while she did her best to keep some distance without stumbling in the dark. Her right heel came down on a patch of ground unexpectedly lower than her toes, and she wobbled. Alucard abruptly stopped his advance.
"H-how would I invite you in?" Never had such a phrase sounded so perverse to her ears.
"Don't resist me." The answer made her skin crawl, and on impulse she brought a hand to her neck.
A dark chuckle that was not unattractive rumbled between the sound of wind and waves. "We'll save that for another time. When you and I…" She managed a half-step back when she realized he was reaching for her, but her reaction came a moment too late, and his hand encircled her fist. In one step his boots were nearly on top of her toes.
"I don't know where you are, Harker. It's going to take more than words to bridge the distance between us." The night must have done little to hinder his eye-sight, for he pressed when her eyes widened. "You must guide me. I do not know the way." He moved her hand in his until their fingers laced, and Amelia felt a little jolt run through her.
Wait…
"Now? You mean, take you there now?" Her eyes were glued on the silhouette of their joined hands, and she jumped when she felt him touch her opposite elbow, beginning to squirm as doubt once more took root. She wasn't ready for this. She still didn't fully understand what was going to happen or how she was supposed to bring him from this dream-world into reality. There had to be a more clear explanation than the one he gave, a set of instructions, practice…
"Do you have time to spare?" His firm hold suggested he had more confidence than she. If she was relying on him and not the other way around, the gesture would have calmed her nerves just a little.
"No, no—but…"
You're moving too fast. I don't know what I'm doing. What if it doesn't work? What if something goes wrong?
"I don't like this," she protested. The harbor lights flickered in her peripheral, drawing her attention.
"I know." His comment was quiet, lacking the sting of his previous question, but resolute, alarming.
The lights were not flickering—they shone just the same; it was the shadows that shifted, branching out from the vampire like ragged tendrils searching blindly in the night. It dawned on Amelia that she could not walk away; their discussion, her argument—was not a game she was going to win.
"Alucard…" Uncertainty raised her pitch and she subconsciously squeezed his hand. The shadows began to curl, encompassing them, and having nowhere else to go, she leaned closer to him, fearful of their reach. As she watched, she felt the vampire stir, felt his long hair tickle her shoulder as he lowered his head.
"If you resist, you will find yourself travelling alone. Relax, Harker. Let me go with you."
She whipped her head around, nearly knocking it against his. Relax. Relax?! Relax… Her empty hand found the sleeve of his jacket and held on for dear life, her body shaking with barely restrained anxiety. It was almost too dark to see now, the shadows closing off her escape route to the dreamscape and caging her in with her companion. Absorbed with the encroaching darkness, she failed to notice his hand slide from her elbow to the small of her back. Breathing felt difficult, her heart pounding painfully fast in her chest and every breath rushing out of her lungs in a staccato pattern.
Claustrophobia. The term had to be screamed in her head a couple of times before it meant anything. Even after squeezing her eyes shut, she could feel the darkness move like a living thing, edging closer until it brushed against her shoulder, startling the tension from her body in a brief cold touch. In that instant, weightlessness took hold, and then she was grasping for anything to keep her grounded.
"I'm here." It was almost a whisper in the back of her mind, at once everywhere and nowhere. She opened her eyes, and the crash of waves on the shore was replaced with a thick silence. A small patch of white light burned out of the corner of her eye, not far away.
And then the eyes appeared.
Hundreds of red irises bulging between parting, black eyelids, woke simultaneously by some unknown cue, blinking into existence like stars in the night sky. They spread above her and on either side, angled along unseen planes. She tried to turn away from the dizzying sight but her body would not obey, her limbs and torso heavy and unresponsive. Every eye shifted to the right, blurring as they moved, flowed, twisted, contracted. Amelia opened her mouth and exhaled with a gasp, the subsequent breath out just as harsh, and the next…
There was a disturbance on her right.
In seconds, every eye froze, alert for an instant, and then whipped to the left, retreating, rushing back towards her, and a flood of white light invaded her sight. The ceiling of her room glared back, the mattress pressed against her spine, the blankets rested on her chest.
I can't move my head. And still she hyperventilated, unable to control her breathing.
She saw the Captain only when he hovered directly over her, a second before the blankets were ripped away from her body, and his hand came down swift upon her neck. Behind the collar of his coat, she watched his lips part, his mouth stretching unnaturally to make room for lengthening, pointed teeth. Something like a growl vibrated up from within his chest, deep and unnatural.
Tears that she thought had run dry leaked from the corners of her eyes, and the seconds felt like eternity as she waited in agony for her body to respond to the assault.
When the invisible tethers holding her rigid were severed, they were cut all at once. Her legs bent towards her torso as her hands flew to the one at her throat. Her breath lengthened, her lungs seeming to properly expand for the first time in too long.
She wasn't being strangled.
Amelia tilted her head just slightly and her gaze met the one staring down at her. A wisp of white smoke trailing upwards from the corner of his mouth disappeared into the air before it reached his eyes.