Chances

I'm wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all.
Nothing seems to be; nothing tastes as sweet
as what I can't have.

He ambled into The Dot with his head bowed low, his sight fixated on the tiled floor beneath his feet. It almost felt as if he was walking with an anvil attached to his back, the pressure gnawing at his spine like a blunt knife. Peter Stone felt as if the entire world had collapsed from underneath him and the after-effects were only just beginning to take their toll on his life.

He walked toward a vacant stool at the counter and situated himself there, pressing his elbows against the countertop, letting his chin fall into his open palms. He heaved a sigh and felt his insides churn, the unsettling feeling of sickness tugging at his stomach relentlessly.

"You okay, man?" asked an unfamiliar voice from beside him. Peter glanced up and noted that the unfamiliar voice was the voice of an unfamiliar face, and that in total the kid next to him was, in fact, unfamiliar. "You look like you're going to be sick. And if you are, move." Peter's brows furrowed as he looked at the unfamiliar kid, perplexed. "Seriously, man, you look like you're about to barf all over the counter."

Peter pursed his lips and bit back a sarcastic remark. "I'm sorry if I'm a bother, man, but I think I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me back. So that officially gives me reason to potentially barf all over the counter, thanks."

The kid nodded, "That sucks."

"Kind of," retorted Peter. Sitting up suddenly, a burst of energy coursing through his veins, Peter turned to the kid. "I mean, everything was perfect until the summer started. Everything between us was smooth. But now I can't close my eyes without thinking about her and, believe me, I've tried talking to her but there are a plethora of obstacles in our way."

The kid chuckled and shook his head. "Look, girls are complicated. Take it from someone who knows. But the worst thing you can do is not let her know how you feel. If it's one thing that girls like, it's honesty."

"I know," said Peter somberly. "But like I said, a plethora of obstacles." Peter groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. "She's so . . . perfect. But not in the sense that she's this flawless goddess or anything, because she's anything but flawless, believe you me. But she doesn't see her potential; she doesn't see how beautiful she truly is. She's gone through so much this past year, and I was definitely involved. But . . . I'm head-over-heels in love with this girl who's in love with another guy, and I don't stand a chance."

"You sure she's in love with this other guy?"

"She talks about him nonstop." said Peter. "You'd think she'd realize that guys don't want to hear you talk about other guys while you're with them. But all she ever talks about is him, especially lately, now that he's home from being away for so long. I've never even held a conversation with this guy. But she makes him sound like he's some kind of a god. How am I supposed to compete with that? How am I supposed to tell this girl that I'm in love with her if she has her heart set on another guy? I mean, that's not even half of the problem, at this point."

"Did you ever consider telling her that? Girls like to hear the L-word." Peter shook his head and exhaled deeply. "Look, if she doesn't know how you feel, then you might as well throw in the towel now, because nothing's going to change unless she knows what she's missing when she's not with you."

Peter considered his words carefully, eying a bottle of ketchup in front of him with great intensity. "She's . . . everything I've ever dreamt of. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone, and then she came along. I liked her almost instantaneously, you know. But there was too much in our way from the start. And then when things calmed down . . . things never really did calm down, come to think of it."

"I know the feeling," said the kid nostalgically. "All you want is for this girl to love you back, but the timing isn't right and everything sort of falls apart before you can even realize what's happening. And then it's over in the blink of an eye and all that's left is bitterness and remorse and anger and hate. And even when things are forgiven, there are still scars from the past left over. It sucks."

"So you've been there, then?"

"Kind of," said the kid. "A while back, I was with this girl. And I swear she was the only person in the world who understood me. But things ended badly. Sometimes I regret the way things went down but I can't turn back time, you know?"

"And now?" inquired Peter.

"Now . . . now we're friends, I think." said the kid, sullenly. We're rediscovering each other, if you will."

Peter nodded and glanced at the kid, eying him briefly. "You from around here?"

"No," said the kid. "I'm from out of town."

"You passing through or something?"

"No," he said. "Actually, I start school here next week."

"At Degrassi?" The kid nodded. "I go there! I haven't seen you around, though. You're a senior?"

"Mmhmm," he answered. "You too?"

"Yeah," said Peter. "Hey, thanks . . . you know, for the talk. I needed it."

"No problem, man," said the kid. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Peter," he said. "You?"

"Sean," said the kid. "Sean Cameron."

"Nice to meet you, Sean," said Peter.

"You too, man," said Sean. "Look, don't worry about whatever's going on with this girl. You obviously care and I think that alone will win her over. Whoever this other guy is, don't even worry about it. From the way it seems from my perspective, whatever he's offering her isn't anything compared to what you would. So take a chance and tell her how you feel."

"In order to take a chance, I actually have to have one in the first place."

"And if you think like that," said Sean, "then you'll lose out on this amazing girl. And I don't think you want that."

"No, I don't," answered Peter.

"Well, I got to go," said Sean. "I'm meeting a friend, but maybe I'll see you around some time?"

Sean stood and shook Peter's hand, leaving Peter alone at the counter. Peter watched him disappear through the transparent door and down the street, the kid's name stuck in his thoughts like a song whose lyrics one only knows a few lines from, an uneasy feeling settling within the pit of his stomach while the words Sean Cameron coursed repeatedly through his mind.

Pulling his mobile out of his pocket, Peter dialed an all-too familiar number.

He smiled apprehensively as a soft, angelic voice filled his ears. And as her name rolled off his tongue, an overwhelming feeling of relief engulfed his senses. "Manny, hi,"

And that was when Peter decided that taking chances never felt so damn good.