Lessons Learned
Author Shortey 83
Chapter 22 – Fights and Understanding
Disclaimer: I do NOT own InuYasha or Skyrim!
Story Start:
Takara sat beneath an old oak tree, her lower back pressing into the rough bark, while her arms rested on her knees. She sat with her forehead resting on her arms, waiting for Sesshomaru to find her.
She could hear brush rustling nearby and a menacing growl, so she knew he was close. As she sat, she pondered how she really felt and it was a mixture of emotions all at once. She was relieved that Sesshomaru had made it back in time, terrified that he was angry with her, angry that he was angry with her, sad because she felt like she had been put in a situation that she felt she had no other choice except to make him angry, and then there was the depraved part of her that found him being angry with her sexy.
God, on top of everything else she was confused by her emotions.
She guessed she would just let the roulette wheel of her emotions spin depending on how he acted when he found her.
There was a soft thud behind her, a telltale sign that he had just jumped the river, but she didn't move a muscle, even as she heard the soft footfalls of his black boots in front of her. Takara didn't move, didn't speak, didn't look up at him. She just waited.
Still not looking, she heard the rustle of fabric and felt his presence very crowding her.
"Takara…" he growled, sending a shiver of fear rushing down her spine. Her heart, sped up again in anticipation for whatever was coming her way. She heard him take a deep breath and release it, his growls quieting slightly.
"I'm sorry" she whispered, "I didn't know what else to do."
The volume of his growls increased again just as she felt his hand grip her upper arm in a nearly bruising grip, before he snatched her into a standing position.
"You are NEVER to do that again!" he roared at her, his claws beginning to dig into the flesh of her arm. "I will NOT lose you!"
She gasped in pain and reacted before she could stop herself, slapping him in the face. He instantly released his hold, her hand moving to her upper arm to rub where he had gripped her too tightly.
She finally looked at him, "If you ever do that to me again, you will." She told him with angry tears welling up in her eyes.
The crack in the dam holding back her emotions had appeared and it was her turn to let him have it.
"First of all, if you think I just couldn't wait for something like that to happen, you are dead wrong! I asked InuYasha and Kagome to come and stay with me SPECIFICALLY to avoid something like this. Secondly, I just had to kill people to save myself and others, and while that may not bother you, it certainly bothers me! Next, I may be a hell of a lot younger than you, but I am NOT a child! And, Finally, if you ever put your hands on me like that again, I will leave. I will find a way back to my world because I did not deserve that!"
She took a gasping breath, tears rolling down her face. "I didn't want to do any of that! I wanted you here to scare the piss out of them, so no one had to die, but I'm not going to let these people chase me from my home or kill the people who take care of me! I'm a lot of things, Sesshomaru, but I'll be damned if I'm an ungrateful coward!"
"You said you could call the dragons." He growled back at her.
"And you told me no, because you were jealous! So, what do I do, Sesshomaru? How do you prefer that I piss you off? Do I piss you off and ask InuYasha to help? Well there's a check because I did that. Do I piss you off by calling Sahloknir or Yolheimin? Well you told me no on that one. Or do I piss you off by getting into a fight? What do you want Sesshomaru?! What?!"
His eyes were still glowing red around their brim and she knew she needed to back down, but not after that display.
"I want you safe."
"News flash, I want to BE SAFE!" she yelled. "I don't know why those pricks decided to make a run on the village when they did. Hell, I don't even know how they found out about it nor how they just happened to come calling when you were gone!"
She panted, her tears not flowing so much, but she was still furious. "I was trying to figure that out, SAFELY, before all this happened. You know what?" she suddenly asked. "I don't want to do this right now. I'm tired, I'm miserable, and I just killed people. I have had enough for the day!"
Not giving him a chance to reply, she spun on her heel, walked around the oak tree and began walking back to the house, right past a stunned InuYasha and Kagome. She didn't give them a second glance either.
Half of her wondered if he hated her after that and that only made the other half of her want to cry. She had been so relieved when he had come to her rescue and then she had to run from him for fear of punishment. She had expected him to be mad, but she had never expected that.
His growl grew as she walked away, but she paid him no mind. She heard Kagome speak up as she walked away, "I'll- Uh- I'll talk to her Sesshomaru…" she offered. He didn't reply but his growls were getting further away, telling her he wasn't following but she heard Kagome's footsteps. "Takara wait, please!"
But she didn't. Part of her didn't even want to stop at the main house, but she only figured that would just make Sesshomaru even angrier. So instead she went to her old rooms, wanting to do nothing more than curling up on the futon to cry. Kagome didn't say anything as she helped Takara change out of her sweat soaked, bloody clothes and into a clean sleeping yukata. She told the servants not to bother her before lying down with her, stroking her hair until she fell asleep.
Sesshomaru stood where he was and watched as the Kagome girl followed Takara back to the house. He was doing his best to calm his demon side and was angry at himself for not trusting it when she had first begun to worry. He had counted on InuYasha making it back village before then, but when her fear had turn into a full-fledged panic, he knew then something was wrong.
Sesshomaru! Where are you?! She had felt her plea through their bond. His demon had felt it's mate's call for help and shifted form to race back to her, rage for his mate's distress and craving the blood of those who would harm her. A very dangerous combination. With his mind in a fog of rage, he didn't remember much more than the several men surrounding her. He had managed to hear her once she called to him about her bow before he set about dispatching the last of the invaders.
Unfortunately, he didn't get the answers he had sought out of the man before he succumbed to his injuries. As he gathered himself he looked around only to see that most of the bandits had been killed by Takara, anger once again resurface at her recklessness and somewhere, buried deep beneath that anger, was a hint of pride. She had done well but still, she had risked her life unnecessarily. The village had sustained minimal damage, and there appeared to be no loss of life besides that of the bandits. He looked around for his disobedient bride and found her nowhere in sight, and it seemed that she had run from him.
Sesshomaru's inner demon was fuming! Its' mate had decided to run from him after being threatened by the humans trying to kill her and she had engaged in battle with them instead of fleeing to safety until it could arrive! Neither it or Sesshomaru wanted to experience the feeling of losing a mate again. To top things off, Takara was about to come fully into heat, adding the irrational element of lust to the turmoil of his emotions, emotions he rarely allowed to surface at that.
He stalked his way back to the main house, following the scent of her until he reached her rooms where her armor had been hastily discarded only to find she had fled the main house. He was furious! Not only had she left the safety of the manor once again, but now she was trying to hide from him. She would not escape her punishment for being so reckless.
He admitted at he was likely in the wrong state of mind to punish her, but the fact that she had ran from him and he had to hunt her down had only served to amplify his demon's savagery.
Her gasp of pain helped to clear the raging fog in his mind, only to feel her hand strike his face. Shock of being struck cleared his mind and the fact that Takara was the one to strike him froze him to the spot.
She struck me?! Was his only thought as he stood there in surprise, but still angry with her as he listened to her yell at him. Shame took its' turn to dip in the shallow pool of his emotions when she brought up his being overly rough with her and threatened to return to her world. It was enough to keep him in place as she walked away with the Kagome girl close behind.
His anger was beginning to dissipate at the scent of her tears, but it still lingered. The overwhelming urge to make amends with his mate had his demon longing to follow after her, but his rational side knew she needed time to calm down.
InuYasha stood there silently the entire time. "Have you something to say, InuYasha?" he growled to the half-demon.
"Not unless you want me to." InuYasha responded.
That struck Sesshomaru as odd-partially because it was rather smart of him, but more so it appeared InuYasha wanted to give him a chance to speak his mind. "Why didn't she just run?" he asked.
"Maybe she would have if the situation was different," InuYasha began. "Takara has a big heart and for you to expect her to abandon innocent people to save herself isn't realistic. I would've thought you had that figured that out by now. Look, I told you the other day, she's feeling inadequate and she decided to take the opportunity to prove to the village, herself, and you that she was worthy of being your wife."
The fact that he was right only stoked the embers of Sesshomaru's anger, but he refrained from punching the half-demon in the face.
"Just leave it to Kagome and give Takara some space. I don't know why, but she loves you. She'll come around." He started to walk away, but paused to look back at his older, half-brother. "And if you want to work off some of that aggression, I'll take you on, but just try not to kill me."
His offer stunned Sesshomaru, but he did his best to hide that surprise. He may actually take him up on the offer to work off some of his anger, but for now, he needed to resume his hunt for the woman. He had been close to finding her when he had felt Takara's call for help. He said nothing but took to the skies to find her.
It was probably the middle of the night by the time Takara woke up, Kagome cuddled up beside her. She was such a good friend, lying in bed with her even though she had to smell horrible. It may have been late, but she needed to take a bath.
"Takara?" Kagome yawned, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
"I'm good, Kagome. I just really need a bath."
Her friend yawned and stretched. "Good idea, mind if I join you?"
Takara shook her head and the two of them gathered up a change of clothes, heading to the hot springs. They both took turns washing each other's hair and backs neither of them saying much and for that Takara was thankful. She didn't want to risk crying again, because she didn't know if she could get it to stop. She was on the verge of tears anyways. She was so angry with Sesshomaru, but she missed him so much at the same time it was confusing if nothing else.
"Come on, Takara," Kagome spoke up. "Don't bottle it up. Get it off your chest."
She didn't know if she wanted to, but she did anyways…while crying. "He probably hates me now, but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't just let all those people die."
"First off, I'm sure Sesshomaru doesn't hate you. I think he was just worried about you and demons don't exactly process and handle emotions the same way you and I do. Besides, Sesshomaru is such a powerful demon, he's probably not too familiar with how it feels to be worried."
Takara thought about that, remembering what Sesshomaru had told her about what had happened to Kimiko. He hadn't been there to protect her, and she and his child had died in a fire…a fire started by her own father. Kagome was right, Sesshomaru wasn't used to feeling worry and couldn't imagine how he had felt after returning to find her dead. And here she was, running off into danger while he was away. It was no wonder he was so mad, but still, she couldn't help but be afraid when he had grabbed her so roughly. Not to mention how he spoke to her as if she was a child, but then again, after how she had acted perhaps she was. Then there was the other side of that coin. She couldn't let all those people die as some sort of human barrier just to give her time to escape and if she had the power to help them, that's what she was going to do.
Perhaps this is where Sesshomaru and I just can't agree, but what will happen from here? What if we can't get past this?
"Don't look like that, Takara" Kagome told her. "Everyone fights, and you and he are no exception. Just take some time and pull yourself together and let him do the same."
A sigh escaped Takara because she knew Kagome was right. "And still, of all things right now, I miss him."
"Of course, you miss him, Takara. You love him, and just because you're mad at him right now, that doesn't mean you can't miss him too."
"Do… do you think he'll talk to me now, or should I wait?"
Kagome shrugged, "I don't know. That's up to you. Are you ready to talk to him?"
Was she ready?
"I…think I should wait until in the morning, just in case." She finally decided.
Kagome stood and exited the hot springs, dressing in a sleeping yukata and Takara followed suit. They both went to her old room where they had been sleeping previously and decided to spend the night there. InuYasha sat outside the screen door on the porch to keep watch over them since he said Sesshomaru had apparently flown off without a word to where he was going. That only lead Takara to believe he was still mad at her, but InuYasha did his best to assure her otherwise, letting her know he seemed to have calmed down before he did. Either way, Takara was in for a rough night's sleep.
It was late when Sesshomaru found the woman, sleeping out in the wilds. He growled at how peacefully she slept while the scent of the bandits hung around her. So, she is behind this then? The woman stirred in her sleep and sat up at the sound of his growl.
"My Lord?" she questioned, "Why are you here?"
"The village was attacked, and yet you remain here unharmed. How is that?" He could hear her heartbeat increase, the scent of concern beginning to waft from her.
"These men asked me for directions to the village" she began. "They said they had wares for trade, and I didn't see the harm in telling them."
Her heart beat so quickly as she spoke Sesshomaru could tell she was lying. He would give her a final chance to tell him the truth of the matter.
"I can hear your heart beating faster." He told her, lifting his hand as the crack of his nails lengthening filled the silence. "I know you're lying. Why did you send those men to the village?"
The shock that registered on her face confirmed her suspicions. "I just-" She paused, standing to face him. "With your obligation to Takara gone, you would be able to choose who to bring to your bed more freely."
It was his turn for shock to register. "You think by getting rid of my mate, I would invite you to my bed?" Shock then morphed into anger. "Where would you get such a foolish idea?"
"You-you had expressed interest in me before she was brought to the village, My Lord." She spoke, fear now creeping into her tone as she backed away from him.
He had?
"You-you accepted Ayako's offer when she offered you one of the women who were grateful for saving our village and I was the one you accepted."
Now he remembered, he had simply used the girl in order to reacquaint himself with how human women enjoyed being touched. She had taken it as him having interest in her? "I have no desire to have you in my bed." He told her frankly. "But you have schemed to kill my mate and for that, you will die."
While he wanted to make her suffer, but he had wasted enough time in pursuit of her. He needed to return the village and his mate-his demon demanded it of him. A single slice of his claws across her throat was all it took, and she fell to her knees as her lifeblood slowly drained from her. He waited until her heartbeat stopped before he left as suddenly as he had arrived.
The weight across her chest is what woke her up, along with the sliding of the screen door to the room. Looking down, Takara found it was Kagome sleeping soundly with her head resting on her chest and an arm wrapped around her waist.
"You two awake yet?" InuYasha asked from the adjoining room.
"No" Takara yawned in response as she stretched, waking Kagome up in the process.
"You make a good pillow, Takara" she yawned before she rolled away and stretched as well.
Before Takara could respond, the rumble of thunder echoed across the valley. "Is it going to rain, InuYasha?" she asked.
"Yeah, looks like s storm is rolling in. Won't be long until it starts."
Kagome and Takara sat up and made their way into the room where InuYasha waited. They didn't speak much as they sipped some tea and starred out the screen door into the gardens.
"So," InuYasha finally spoke up, "You gonna talk to Sesshomaru?"
Takara had to hand it to him, that was the softest he had ever spoken to her and she was glad for that. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugged her legs as she rested her head on her knees and sighed. "I don't know. I want to, but he's probably still mad at me."
"Hmph, he's calmed down. I won't say he isn't mad, but you should be able to talk to him now, if you want to that is."
Takara thought for a minute, or rather, she tried to gather her courage up. The issue between them wouldn't just go away on a whim, but now, at least the hurt she had been feeling the day before wasn't as raw. She excused herself and made her way slowly to her rooms. Her armor was still strewn about the room, covered in blood and dirt from the day before. Still stalling, she took her time to clean it and her weapons before placing them in their respective spots. She then cleaned up the mess in her room, but once she ran out of things to clean, Takara simply sat there and tried to muster up her courage to confront Sess-… her husband.
She didn't think she could ever start referring to him as such but then again that was part of the problem they were having. During the current time, Takara was anything but the image of who or what the lady of any reputable house or the wife of any man of the time. She was headstrong and independent for the most part- not meek and obedient. Was it really so bad to protect her villagers? On the other hand, she had put herself at risk knowing what Sesshomaru had been through with Kimiko. What was the right answer?
She sighed. Hopefully the two of them could meet somewhere in the middle. Deciding she couldn't put it off anymore, she stood and left her room, hoping she didn't have to go too far to search for him. She got her wish and found him sitting in his room with the screen to the porch open, cleaning his swords.
He paused long enough to glance over his shoulder, acknowledging her presence and then went back to cleaning his weapons. Well, she thought as she went to sit beside him, InuYasha said he had calmed down, not that he wasn't mad anymore. It was silent between them for what seemed like an eternity, but Takara didn't know where or how to start. She didn't want to apologize to him without any meaning behind it because she wasn't sorry for saving the village, but she was sorry for putting herself in a position that would cause him… concern? Worry?
Well, one of us has to be the bigger person She thought, giving in.
"I'm sorry." Takara finally spoke up. Sesshomaru was silent, but he at least put his swords away even if he didn't say anything in response right away.
"I am not used to feeling… fear," he finally spoke up. "As such, I acted rashly towards you and I ask that you forgive my rough handling of you."
Takara was surprised that she had gotten that much from him.
"I didn't want any of that to happen." She said, trying to keep a tight rein on her emotions. "I just… I didn't know what to do because I don't really fit in here." She rushed to carry on with her thought as Sesshomaru growled his disapproval of her statement. "Even without my abilities to use the weapons I do or speak in dragon tongue, I'm still… out of place. Where I come from, women are raised to be self-sufficient and to take care of ourselves because you can't count on anyone else to look after you."
She adjusted her position and turned more towards him, but still didn't attempt to look him in the face, afraid of what she would see. "I have eight older brothers, and I still had times where I got into fights that they couldn't protect me from or problems they couldn't solve for me, so I just had to do it on my own. It wasn't that they didn't try to, that's for sure. I couldn't even have a guy over as my school project partner, let alone a boyfriend…"
Another growl.
"It may not have been the case then, but now, I'm glad for that."
His growls faded.
"However, that's about the only thing they ever protected me from, boyfriends. Fights, social problems, even school work, I was left to fend for myself, so for you to tell me not to defend myself and run, well, I don't run. You can blame my dad for that."
She finally looked at him and found him simply watching her, his golden eyes were veiled in the usual icy stare, but at least he didn't look angry.
"He raised me to take care of myself and protect those who can't protect themselves if I can."
"You would put them before me?"
That question hit her like a ton of bricks. "No, I would not!"
"You did."
She blinked, starring at him. "Is that really how you see it? That I was choosing them over you?"
"How else should I see it?"
"That these are our people and I was doing what I could protect them and our home while you were away."
"When it comes to your safety, the only one that matters to me is you. The others can be replaced."
Takara could only gape at him for that statement, but quickly closed her mouth. Part of her wanted to scold him for saying something so cold and heartless but then she remembered, he was a demon, not a human. If he didn't share a bond with them, they did not matter in his eyes.
"That bothers you?" he asked, and it really made her think about how to address that particular difference.
"Yes, it does, but I think I understand why you feel or, rather, don't feel the way you do." She waved her hand as if waving the issue away. "But that isn't the point, this goes back to me not fitting in here. When you were gone, I was bored out of my mind and had no one to talk to, so I decided to go out and talk to the villagers. To start with, most of them didn't recognize me to begin with so I doubt they would be able to protect me even if they were able to protect themselves. So, with them having you, a demon, as their lord, I figured what could be the harm in getting to know them? And I did. I learned who was related to who, who married into whose family, and their trade specialties. I also got a feel for where their loyalties lie."
She paused at that final statement, letting it sink in. "Their loyalties lie with you, Sesshomaru. They didn't say that because they knew I was your wife, because they didn't know. I'm sorry, but while in your mind, they may not matter to you, you matter a lot to them and I can't just let that go without notice."
He looked away, but she continued. "Look, Sesshomaru, you told me what happened…before," Takara paused, sitting up on her knees and moving closer to Sesshomaru. Gently her hands gripped either side of his face, turning it so that he faced her. "I would never, intentionally, put myself in harm's way, and leave you alone again."
Something flashed through his eyes, but it was too quick for her to tell just what it was. "I understand that, my treasure." He let out a breath, almost a sigh. "I will find a solution to the issue so that you are not put in such a compromising position again."
"That sounds like a good idea to me." She told him, releasing his face and moving to rub her head against his chin. "Do you forgive me?"
"Of course, Takara. I just ask that you call me first before you rush into a fight of any sort."
"Call you?" she asked, leaning back to look at him. "How do I do that?"
"Just as you did while fighting."
Takara thought back and tried to remember. "All I did was just… I don't know… I just really wanted you here."
He smirked, "That is all you ever need do. Since you have bonded with my demon form, I can sense whatever you feel no matter where you are."
"Oh," she thought on that, and partly it only made her feel worse. Not only had he been going through his own emotions, but he also had to experience hers.
Now she really felt bad. As if it wasn't enough for him, who didn't typically experience emotions, now he had to deal with the roller coaster of her emotions too.
"Don't let it upset you. They do not cause me trouble."
Oh wow, that was fast. She thought. It seemed it was immediate. "Then, I guess you know how much I missed you while you were gone?"
He nodded, and then seemed to pause at a thought. "I also sensed that you were embarrassed the night before last. What was the cause?"
Takara's face turned bright red at the mention of that bit of embarrassment. It had been the conversation she had shared with Kagome in the hot spring. "Uh, it was just…uh… girl talk between Kagome and me."
His smirk returned, and he took the opportunity to pull her into his lap. "Well whatever was discussed also seemed to cause you a bit of confusion, which is what caught my attention. What was the cause?"
She debated whether or not she should tell him, but it wasn't exactly a secret. "Well… Kagome just asked how…um… things were between us. And when I told her, I just took her reaction as we were doing something… wrong."
"Things between us?" He asked, piecing together the story himself. "She was curious about our mating?" When Takara nodded he continued. "What about it had her confused?"
"Well, she wanted to know if I ever went to sleep afterwards and I was- what was the word she used? She wanted to know if I was unsatisfied when we went to sleep."
"And have you been?"
"Well that's where I got confused. I told her no because I was too tired, and then she got confused. She didn't get what I said to begin with when I told her that you only woke me up for more sometimes, and after I explained what I meant she just told me I was really lucky…although I don't really get what she meant by that."
Sesshomaru let out what Takara guessed was almost a laugh and explained. "Human males are typically only able to perform once or twice in a night, but I am able to outlast them."
"Yeah you are." She agreed, bringing her hand up to tug lightly at the fold of his kimono, opening it ever so slightly. Before she could proceed further, a loud clap of thunder echoed across the valley, startling her. Just as she remembered that InuYasha said that a storm was rolling in, a sudden downpour began to fall, and she sighed. An early summer shower was just what she needed relax, well that and Sesshomaru.
She had tossed and turned so much the night before that she hadn't slept very well. Now that Sesshomaru was home and a nice steady downpour was outside Takara let out a large yawn and snuggled into the fluffy down of Sesshomaru's fur. He adjusted her in his lap, pulling her closer to him before grabbing the tail end of his fur and wrapped it around her. Snuggled up in Sesshomaru's lap, cozy as could be, she sat with him in silence while they watched the rain fall outside.