A/N - So..like I said I wasn't even thinking about taking this story in this direction but, I'm still sticking with my original idea..just sticking some twists and turns in here, hope you like? Thank you for the reviews and continue reviewing forme, k:)

Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star

Chapter 6 - Dirty little scars

"Jude!" Sadie's eyes widened at what she saw and her face shown pure horror. Jude was sitting against the bed with her arm extended, a razor in hand. A newly made cut on her arm and scars from previous ones brought Sadie to her knees.

"Wh..why?" She could barely speak and what managed to come out was stuttered.

"I.." Jude looked down at her wrist and watched the blood drip down her arm and onto her pants. She dropped the razor, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. For a minute she sat watching the room spin as Sadie ran to the bathroom, grabbing a rag. When she returned Jude's eyes were closed.

"Jude?..Jude!" Sadie screamed. Jude opened her eyes barely and moved her head up a bit, immediately regretting it.

"Ow," Her head fell backwards again and Sadie knelt down beside her.

"Stay still," She wrapped the washcloth around Jude's wrist and watched the blood seep into the cloth.

Jude clenched her eyes shut from the pressure Sadie was putting on the cut.

"Sadie, it's fine," She managed to say, trying to pull her arm from her sister.

"Don't even think about it," She refused to let go of her wrist.

"Jude, how could you be so stupid?"

Jude rolled her eyes. She wasn't crying anymore, she had actually stopped before Sadie even came into the room. Cutting seemed like the only way to release her pain. A few months ago she would have never thought that she would be the one to do it. She had always said it was stupid and there was no reason for it but, now that she started it seemed as though it was her ecstasy. It was her lullaby. She needed it. It was the only thing she could depend on, the only thing that could make her happy.

"Huh, Jude? Why would you do this?" Sadie asked once again, getting more angry by the minute. This time Jude managed to pull her arm away.

"I don't have to explain anything to you, I have my reasons,"

"Like what? what could be so horrible that would make you result to this? ..hurting yourself,"

Jude tied the rag around her thin wrist and got up, uneasily. She was still dizzy but she caught the wall before falling. Sadie shook her head.

"You need help," She spat.

Jude didn't say anything, only closed her eyes hoping the room would stop spinning. Sadie got up and started out the room.

"I'm telling mom," This was the last of the conversation between the two. Jude closed her door and once again leaned against it, trying to regain her strength. Every time she cut, this seemed to happen. It would have been fine if Sadie wouldn't have come in. She would have just sat and let the feeling pass but it was too late now. After realizing it wasn't going to get any better she collapsed on the bed and almost immediately drifted off into a deep sleep.

"Mom, I need to talk to you," Sadie said, greeting Victoria at the door who was followed by Don.

"Sadie, I'm busy right now, can this wait till later?"

"No..it can't,"

Victoria excused herself from Don and walked with Sadie into the kitchen.

"What is it?"

Sadie had lost her earlier courage but she had to tell her mom. Jude did need help and she didn't think she could get her it on her own.

"It's about Jude.."

"What about her?"

"I walked in on her and she..was..um,"

"She was what?"

"She was-"

"Vicky the office called, we have to go!" Don's voice echoed the living room.

"Look hun, you'll have to tell me later, okay?" Victoria kissed Sadie on the forehead and then walked out of the kitchen before her daughter could object.

"Later might be too late.." Sadie's words lingered openly in the empty kitchen. She pulled her hands to her face and rubbed it, tenderly. As if trying to release stress. Within a few moments of this, there was a knock on the door which caused Sadie to jump. She walked slowly to the door and widened her eyes when she seen who was standing outside. She cracked the door open, as she did earlier.

"What are you doing here!"

The person stood outside of the door eyeing Sadie and searching for the words he wanted to say.

"Sadie.."

"Look, you can't be here," She hesitantly closed the door. He didn't leave, only stood there in awe.

After closing the door Sadie leaned up against the back of it. If people were to see the two together..they might suspect something and she really didn't need that. Especially since her and Tommy were getting into stupid fights all the time, this would just add wood to the fire. And after that night..she would never be able to look at Kwest the same way again.

Jude opened her eyes to find herself in her room, she must have slept all day because everything was dark. Her wrist was pulsing like crazy and when she tried to peel the cloth off, it stung and stuck to her wound. She managed to turn on a lamp and sit up in the bed. Where she had fallen asleep earlier there were blood stains on the sheet mocking her and intimidating her. She then remembered her earlier confrontation with Sadie.

"Mmm," She groaned, pushing herself up with her good hand.

Everything was so quiet. It wasn't unusual though.. her mom was usually out with Don and Sadie was usually out with Tommy..but tonight..there was an awkward silence.

Jude, after applying another rag over the one she already had on her wrist and pushing the sleeves of her sweat shirt down, opened her door and walked down the dark hallway. When she reached the top of the staircase she saw the lights flicker on and off and then turn completely off. She heard faint whispering. A huge flash of lightning illuminated the darkness and Jude started down the stairs, clinging to the railing.

"Mom?" She called out.

"In here Jude." Her mother's voice was deep and emotionless, coming from the kitchen. Jude followed Victoria's voice and when she stepped into the kitchen she made out four figures sitting at the kitchen counter.

"Whats going on?" She asked, starting to panic from the lightning and thunder going on outside. Don was looking at her as if she had gone mad. Jude quickly averted her eyes back to the storm and watched the rain start to pour down harder and harder.

"Jude, let me see your arm." Victoria pushed her chair aside and started towards her daughter.

"Mom, no." Jude started to back up, but was stopped by the wall. Victoria pulled at Jude's sleeves and her fingers brushed over the scabs.

"Jude.." Her voice was very airy but her words were filled with concern.

"Just don't, okay?" Her voice cracked and she pulled her arm from her mother. Victoria's eyes glazed over with tears.

"We've got you help, okay honey?" Victoria said, calmly.

"What?" Jude's eyes also started to glaze and she turned to the person sitting at the counter who she didn't recognize, she could only tell it was a guy.

Don decided it was his turn to take over since Victoria was in no condition to go through this. He got up and put his arm around his wife, with the other he motioned for the man to follow him.

"Look Jude, we think it would be best if you spent some time with Dr. Schmidt." Don's free hand pushed Dr. Schmidt closer to Jude so they could see each other better.

"A shrink? I'm not crazy, I don't need a doctor!" She felt betrayed, did they really think she was crazy?

"Honey we know you're not crazy..we just think he could help," A single tear escaped her mother's eye as she tried to convince her daughter.

Jude gasped, not believing what was going on before her. She looked to Sadie as her last resort for help.

"Sadie?" Sadie hung her head and eyed the counter, trying to keep her mind off of her sister and her pleading voice.

Doctor Schmidt then started to walk closer to Jude and he grabbed her arm, about to examine it when Jude pushed him away from her.

"Get away from me!" She screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The man attempted to touch her again, but Jude ran towards the living room door and before anyone even noticed they seen lightning flash across the living room and then heard the door slam. Jude was seen running down the pavement of her driveway, into the street.

A/N - Sooo? was it horrible? review ya'll, please?