Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei
Shout-outs:
Stratus5: I know, I just love Terazuma/Wakaba. I have a soft spot for Clueless-and-shy/Not-clueless-but-equally-shy pairings. As for Suzaku/Touda, theirloveissoDracyandElizabeth! They've got a true Pride and Prejudice scenario. They'll be so much fun to write next chapter. I'm also so glad I planned Ruka to talk to Tsuzuki again. I didn't want Hisoka's Illusory Magic plot point to be a one-time thing, because that's too PastedeOnPlotPointYAY! Besides, I felt like I was ignoring Tsuzuki. He's still…oops, that's for chapter 14.
pinecone-master: A new fan! (Glomps)
PumpkinPie-4ever aka Lynn: Oy…the return of the not-really-reviews. Anyway. Thank you. I'm glad the minor characters got a chance to shine.
AnimeAngelRin: Yay, another new fan! (Glomps) It's the same with me…if I go a day without doing something related to YnM, some cosmic power is interfering. Hee…you're going to print it out? Seriously? EEK! (Glomps) I'm really not worthy of all this praise! Remind me to come here whenever I need a self-esteem boost. Out of curiosity, what do you disagree with?
Amethyst-eyed Koneko: "Schnoogle" means "novel-length". I see SchnoogleGlomps as being a huge glomp accompanied by snuggling and nuzzling. (SchnoogleGlomps AEK) What should our anomaly's name be?
It makes me both happy and sad that we're at the wedding. Happy because…well, it's the wedding! Sad because this means I'm closer to the end then ever. I'm only going up to 16 chapters. My little baby's growing up! (Cries) Luckily though, I think my baby will have it's own babies in the forms of side stories.
I adore Ruka as well. She turned out so differently than how I initially imagined her, but I think I like her better this way. She's Tsuzuki's guardian angel, and I might have Hisoka summon her once more. And Tsuzuki…I kinda want to marry him now, too. Lucky b-st-rd Hisoka…
You can read that Side Note #2! Don't be scared of it. I wasn't dreaming of the actual manga, just what my subconscious wants volume 11 to be. And actually, Matsushita-sensei has 13 volumes out in Japan, but there's only 11 out in America. And SQUEE! She's starting the series again this year!
Terazuma/Wakaba…I think it's my 4th favorite pairing. Too cute! Now, for Watari. You will find out all about that in chapter 15, as well as some things about Tatsumi. I need angsty Watari/Tatsumi because it's so d-mn difficult to write really good Watari/Tatsumi without it! Besides, like Saya and Yuma, Watari needs a regret to have died with and since we haven't yet been provided a detailed one, I just made one up. And as for Touda/Suzaku, you can really read the manga as Touda having a crush on Suzaku ("I made her mad again…was it something I said?"). Hee, it's going to be so much fun to write T/S!
Neko Kate-chan: Yeah, AEK already pointed that out to me…I have to go back and fix all those typos eventually…
Eternity's Heir: I know, it's so much easier to like Anime-Tsubaki because she wasn't a moron. Naïve, yes, but not an idiot who lied to cover for Muraki. And go check out those songs! They're all excellent!
Aacire: Thank you, thank you! Tsuzuki-Ruka brother-sister interaction is always a plus in my book. You'll find out about Watari (and Tatsumi) in chapter 15!
Side Note #1: My knowledge of Japanese weddings is still extremely limited because I know the procedures but not the actual things that are said and done. So this is going to be one unusual wedding service. If there are any practitioners of Shinto reading this: PLEASE TAKE NO OFFENSE! To everyone who is not Shinto: PLEASE DO NOT THINK THIS IS AN ACTUAL SHINTO WEDDING! This was the best I could do with the information I had and my imagination. Here's the basic rundown of the things in this chapter.
1. Wakaba's prayer – Part of the Amatsu Norito, a Shinto purification prayer. I took the most secular part of it, because I didn't want to delve very deeply into the beliefs of the characters and risk offending/confusing people.
2. Rice paper – After purifying the room, the Shinto priest lays rice paper on the floor. I made Wakaba do it beforehand just because. (Speaking of Wakaba, technically she shouldn't be officiating, only attending, because she's a miko and not a priest, but she's the closest religious figure offered to us, so she's in charge of it all.)
3. Tatami – Mats. You sit on them. That's pretty much it.
4. Sakaki branch – The Sakaki Tree is a sacred tree in Shinto, as its mentioned in one of the holy texts in Shinto. (Traditional Shinto is oral, but there are two holy books.)
5. "Musuhi" and "Makoto" – "Musuhi" is the creative power of the spirits, and "Makoto" is the sincerity of heart Shinto adherents strive for.
6. San-san-kudo – The sake ceremony that I explained in chapter 5. The prayers were modified into vows for my own nefarious plot purposes.
7. Ema – Wooden tablets with wishes written on them, left at shrines by visitors in hopes that the wishes will come true.
8. Sign of the infinity – A sideways figure 8. This isn't a Shinto practice, but it's appropriate for weddings. The Infinity is basically two circles, meaning that whatever is being blessed is unending, and those circles are interwoven, meaning that whatever is being blessed is interconnected. I personally interpret the fact that it's a sideways 8, and not an upright 8, to indicate that the two circles (people) are on equal footing. Unending, interconnected, equal…pretty sweet set-up.
Side Note #2: I've changed my plans from a dialogue-only chapter. I tried to do it, but it felt kinda unnatural and it lacked the power I was going for.
Side Note #3: I shamefully stole some ideas from Yami no Matsuei and Mars. Sue me. Actually, don't. There was just so much to offer from those sources that I couldn't pass them up. Using the YnM sources is poignant. Using Mars is just a good idea, because Kira/Rei is totally Hisoka/Tsuzuki.
Side Note #4: "Détente" – (French, noun, "Day-tahnt") a lessening of tensions.
Détente
"With all the respect from the depths of our hearts, we ask that they hear us, such as the spirit that hears our intent with sharpened ears, together with spirits of the land and sky: Take the badness, disasters, and sins, and purify all."
There was some strange kind of enchantment around Wakaba, some clarity in her mismatched eyes as she completed her circle around the room, ending the purification ritual. The floor, covered in rice paper, crinkled under her feet as she walked to the center of the room, closer to the far wall than to the congregation gathered, sitting on the floor and watching her every move. She glanced down at the twin tatami on the floor, and keeping her eyes open, called out.
"Enter."
Simultaneously, on either side of the room, two doors opened, and hesitantly, nervously, unsure, Tsuzuki and Hisoka crossed their individual thresholds and slowly made their ways onto the tatami.
As they knelt down, Wakaba raised a single sakaki branch over their heads. Tied to the branches by red and white strings were two slips of paper, the kanji for Musuhi and Makoto written lengthwise in red ink upon them. Her wrist folded and unfolded itself, letting the branch circle in the sign of the infinity, as she spoke again.
"With all the respect from the depths of our hearts, we ask that they hear us, such as the spirit that hears our intent with sharpened ears, together with spirits of the land and sky: Take the badness, disasters, and sins, and purify all."
Hisoka stared up at her hand, eyes wide and observant, and nearly jumped when he felt something brush his own hand. He looked down, and then traveled up the path that led to looking into Tsuzuki's eyes, his smiling and scared eyes welling with every appropriate emotion conceivable. He felt his own lips twist upwards in a miniscule paradigm of Tsuzuki's smile and spread his fingers, allowing Tsuzuki's matching appendages to fill in the spaces and curl into his palm, and he twisted those fingers to cover Tsuzuki's diagonally.
Wakaba smiled, a beam that seemed out of place in the solemnity of the room, but apt for coming from one of their friends. She lowered the branch and let it fall to the floor in front of Tsuzuki and Hisoka, the two slips of paper face up. Suppressing a squeal of pure joy, she turned around and addressed the room.
"Good morning."
There was a collective murmur of return greeting.
"On Tsuzuki and Hisoka's behalf I thank you all for coming. Like anyone would miss this, right?" She allowed herself a fan-girlish expression for a fleeting second and then regained her seriousness. "The ema you were asked to write your well-wishes on…please pass them to the end of your rows and stack them."
General movement, as the group attempted to figure out which direction to pass the ema in, and finally managed to achieve the task.
Wakaba went to a shelf that Tenkuu sported and took three cups, different sizes and neatly fitted into each other, and an unlabeled brown bottle. She returned to her spot and knelt down, un-stacking and placing the cups in a line. Serenely she poured a measure of liquid into each, but when she looked up her eyes were sparkling with excited energy. She stood and turned once again to their audience.
"With all the respect from the depths of our hearts, we ask that they hear us, such as the spirit that hears our intent with sharpened ears, together with spirits of the land and sky: Take the badness, disasters, and sins, and purify all."
She turned back to Tsuzuki and Hisoka, a smile lighting her face.
"You may begin."
And she stepped away, disappearing.
"First of all…thank you, for letting me see Ruka again. I really needed to see her."
Hisoka's mouth twitched another smile in acknowledgment.
"And I'm especially grateful because I know it takes a lot out of you. I know I take a lot out of you."
The smile quickly flipped itself over in a frown.
"Don't deny it. We both know I do, and I'm sorry. But…in a weird way…I'm not sorry. Because me being a burden for you means that I'm there with you…for you. I swore I would protect you; I swore it all the way back to the days when you stuck a gun in my back and called me a vampire."
Hisoka snorted something like a laugh.
"I didn't like you much back then."
Again, though a bit louder.
"And yet…and yet…there was something about you I couldn't ignore. Something that wouldn't let me write you off as a snot-nosed, cocky teenager. When I found out…what had happened to you…I knew what it was. I couldn't let you go, or dislike you, because you were like me. Because you knew despair. You knew the pain of wounds that can't ever be fully healed. And I knew that I had to protect you because I couldn't let you end up like me. I considered you a child then."
Tsuzuki's hand pressed down on Hisoka's and he leaned in a little closer.
"I considered you a friend…a partner…when I found out you were willing to protect me, as well. When we synchronized in that factory…when you worried about my safety…that's when you became a partner. And you know—I've told you—what it means to be a partner to me."
Hisoka nodded, his eyes unblinking.
"Just before you asked me to marry you, you asked if it had been selfish of you to save me when I tried to kill myself. I told you it wasn't. I should've continued. I should've told you that it was selfish of me to do that—to almost break the bond of our partnership without even thinking that it might hurt you. And I haven't properly apologized for it yet."
"Tsuzuki…"
Tsuzuki shook his head to silence Hisoka. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forgot that you cared. I'm sorry I forgot you still needed me. I'm sorry I forgot that we're partners. I promise, I promise that I won't ever forget that again. I know…that there are plenty of promises that I've broken…but this one I can't. I won't. My promise…my marriage vow is…I won't ever forget again. Ruka told me something today…a quote my mom told her when she got engaged…"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." I'm going to do that…I'm going to hold on to that strength, that courage, and I'm never going to try and leave you again. When you cry out in your sleep, when you're in pain, I'll be by your side, no matter what. I promise you…I swear it."
Tsuzuki's free hand reached for the first cup, the smallest, and brought it to his mouth. He tipped it to his lips once, twice, three times, and on the third time he swallowed half the contents. As he passed it to Hisoka, the corners of his mouth tipped up in a smile.
"It's root beer, don't worry," he whispered.
Hisoka inhaled very sharply, sounding like he was holding something emotional back, as he took the cup from Tsuzuki's hand. After he had drained the cup of its liquid and set it down, he stared at a floor for a handful of seconds before looking up and into Tsuzuki's face.
"You're right…you do take a lot out of me."
Tsuzuki smiled.
"Knowing you, you haven't been paying much attention over the past four years. Because if you had, you'd know that I forgave you for Kyoto long ago."
But there was no callousness or sarcasm in Hisoka's voice, just something that sounded like understanding, like affection, like genuine exoneration.
"I've been making my marriage vows for years now. But…you wouldn't explicitly know…because I've been making them with actions and thoughts, not with words."
"That's so like you," Tsuzuki whispered fondly.
"You needn't swear never to leave me," Hisoka continued, "because I'm never going to let you. Nor will I leave you. I decided a long time ago that the only place I belong is in your heart. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm nothing if not stubborn and I don't give up."
"I noticed," Tsuzuki said, smiling.
"So I won't leave you. I'll never let go of you, not for any reason, never again, like I almost did 2 years ago. Even if everyone else disappears from your life, I'll stay with you. I'll follow you into any world that you dream of. I don't care where your crazy mind takes us, as long as I can be by your side. I…"
Hisoka trailed and paused, chewing his bottom lip.
"I…I no longer…want to remain in Meifu to get revenge on Muraki. I want to stay here…because you're here."
Hisoka reached for the second, medium-sized cup. Tip, tip, sip. Pass. Tip, tip, sip.
"You're my partner."
"You're my life."
"I want to protect you."
"I want to live for you."
"I don't mind if you're afraid."
"I don't mind if you're an identity crisis on legs."
"I love you."
"I trust you."
"We can do this…"
"…with the two of us."
Tip, tip, sip. Pass. Tip, tip, sip.
Tsuzuki's free hand reached for Hisoka' face, Hisoka's hand gripped Tsuzuki's arm, and their mouths melded together in one confirming, one precious, one golden, one downright magical kiss that appeared to the congregation of friends to be as flawless as a lock turned by its corresponding key, in the utter rightness and perfection of the match.
Hisoka let his head drop onto Tsuzuki's shoulder and he closed his eyes, as if settling into a peaceful sleep underneath a warm, balmy comforter. Tsuzuki's own eyes closed as well; as he rested his head against Hisoka's he whispered again, "I love you", and somewhere from the silence where Hisoka usually kept his affection he whispered "I love you" back.
Outside their own universe, as if from a great distance across an open field, they heard Wakaba's gentle voice softly intoning a prayer once more.
"With all the respect from the depths of our hearts, we ask that they hear us, such as the spirit that hears our intent with sharpened ears, together with spirits of the land and sky: Take the badness, disasters, and sins, and purify all."