As per demand, I am continuing this fiction because apparently it was hilarious (does a jig).
Sephiroth: Woe for the day that I am debased to such debauchery…
Authoress: Muwahahaha.
After going through 59474.39329 bottles of shampoo, the four metrosexual males finally managed to get the Jenova crumbs out of their hair. Unfortunately, the shampoo (Pantene, no less) reacted badly with Jenova, and now Jenova was in a dish, being quite distinctively neon pink. And smelling like kiwis and bananas. Needless to say, Jenova was mad.
"I do not remember raising such metrosexuals as my sons!" Jenova sent telepathy to all four. Kadaj, reprimanded by his beloved mother, burst into a fresh batch of tears. Sephiroth was appalled. This… was his larva? His was-to-be? This was an insult!
Not knowing Sephiroth's quiet, seething fury, Kadaj was wailing. "Mooommmyy, I'm sooo sorry! I'll never do it again! I promise! Please don't ground me!"
Loz was eating cookies. Yazoo looked definitively sickened. Sephiroth sighed. As the eldest brother, it was his responsibility to get them into shape, wasn't it?
Wait a minute, what about his marriage?
He resumed his thoughts about the prospective of his possible family. So Aeris was out. Yuffie was out. Tifa was out. And all the rest of the females that had suddenly appeared had… well, been round up by their original partners. Well, that left…
Shera? Hell no. God only knew what she and Cid were doing. Sure they were just boss and assistant relationship on paper, but…
That woman was out. Out, OUT!
Sephiroth was getting frustrated. A man with his height, his intelligence, his looks, his hair, his Masamune, his prowess, and everything over and in between should have no problem picking a wife. But he was having tougher time than when he had to face 300 Wutai warriors at one time. He was also having a tougher time than when he had gone through 30 physics books trying to figure out how Cloud's hair defied gravity and all laws of physics that ever existed, but that's another story.
He twirled his long, silvery hair in his fingers. He absently inspected it, when all of a sudden he found a…
Split-end.
Life just didn't worth it anymore.
Then he realized that technically, he was already dead for seven years and counting. So he could not kill himself.
He shook himself away from the hair problem. Was that why he could not get married? Because of the split hair?
No, that made no sense. He went back to auditioning possible candidates.
Elena? Nope. Elena had the world's fifty-sixth biggest crush, namely on Tseng and no less. And besides, he was pretty sure Reno would have done something with her. Sephiroth hated that redheaded twit. He had once tied a pink bow in his silvery hair, and Sephiroth was subjugated to walking around with a pink bow in his hair, ultimately being the building's laughingstock for a day. Reno was going to be sorry. He had it coming… Anyways, back to marriage… Reno…
Wait.
Did he just think about marrying Reno?
Sephiroth screamed in horror. Now, Sephiroth was a man noted for excessive superiority in everything. Needless to say, his voice was more than loud and higher than Aeris' scream when she saw a dying chocobo in the middle of the forest.
Yazoo decided that it was high time to just visit his next door neighbor on the Lifestream Avenue. Who happened to be…
A/N: Sorry guys, but you'll have to wait until I get off my butt and write the next chapter for this. In the meanwhile, check out my other fictions.
Or give a mental therapy to Sephiroth. He needs it badly. Now.