If You're Going To San Francisco

Grissom loosened his seat belt and leaned forward to have a better view out of the plane's window. He let his gaze drift over the clouds sprawled in every direction as his mind went back to that last time he visited San Francisco. It was the year before the millenium and he was so young and clueless, almost a different person altogether.

It was a lovely spring but little did he know that dark winter would soon settle in his heart. He remembered walking with her in the park, flower petals falling on their shoulders as he struggled to find the right words. He couldn't say it out loud but she understood all the same. She always did. And quite simply like that, one beautiful day in April their fiery relationship ended before it consumed them both.

Did he regret losing her? Every day since but he wouldn't let himself indulge in fantasies and memories of a passion that could only live in a fairy tale. It was only in some of his lonelier nights and only then, when whiskey warmed him up to his core, that he'd dare to mentally go back to that time and place that was intimately theirs, when her soft body wriggled underneath and her long curls splayed over the sheets as she moaned his name with abandon. He'd take out the photograph then, the only one he kept of them hidden between Shakespeare's sonnets and with trembling hands he'd slide his thumb over the rough edges and let his tears fall unhindered.

The light blinded him and Grissom shut his eyes and leaned back in his seat breathing heavily. Before catching the plane he searched for the boy's picture in the missing persons and was taken aback by their resemblance. He looked just like her, skinny, with shoulder-length wavy brown hair and brown eyes. The only sign of himself he could recognize was the dimple on his chin. If Sara hadn't kept the pregnancy a secret, that picture would be in his wallet instead of all over the news. Thinking of all the years he missed infuriated him. He wasn't at all sure what he'd do or say when he'd see her again. The only thing he was sure of was that he had to find his son.

His heart was thumping in his ears as he walked down the hall of the station in determined strides in search of the FBI team. After he presented his ID, someone told him they were in the interrogation room with Sara and pointed to the two-way glass in case he wanted to watch the interview.

Cautiously, he approached the glass while his eyes searched for her familiar figure that never wandered far away from his dreams. She was hunched in her seat with her fists clenched at her sides while the blonde woman talked to her and showed her pictures.

She had changed. Her hair was darker and she was rounder around her edges. There were lines in her brow and around her eyes, noticeable under the harsh light of the room. As he studied her face in awe he was drawn in by her taut lips and glazing eyes and his heart skipped a beat. Dear god, she was as beautiful as he remembered. Realizing that his love for her was more than a fantasy from the past, all his resolve and anger failed him. What could he possibly say to her now when she was clearly in so much pain?

As the kidnapper's name was mentioned, Grissom stiffened and intensified his attention to take every detail in. An abuser, he thought with horror. If someone had no trouble hitting women who knew what he'd do to a helpless child. When Sara confessed the man held her responsible for the loss of his own son Grissom snapped. He couldn't just stand there and watch anymore, there was no time to be wasted so he barged in, surprising all of them and most of all Sara.

"Grissom!" Melissa exclaimed as Sara sat speechless.

"What do you have on this Redstone? We have to chase him down now." He spoke facing the blonde but his eyes were transfixed by Sara flinching in her seat as her fiery gaze pierced a hole in his chest.

"Grissom, I understand you are upset but as I told Miss Sidle here both of you have to help me and you can only do that by remaining calm."

The woman sighed with relief when he nodded. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a paper knife. Melissa could feel the heat from their silent exchange and wondered if their meeting was a bad idea after all.

"We've already issued a warrant for the guy and are searching his property so why don't you sit down and catch up with your...eh, colleague here while I check with my guys on the field." Having said that, Melissa Lowe got to her feet and made a motion to her partner to follow as she walked out in a hurry.

Grissom moved to take her place and crossed his hands on the table fighting for words that evaded him still. Sara watched him in silence waiting for the outburst which she was certain would come but seconds passed and Grissom kept silent. All he did was drop his forehead to his hands and heave a sigh.

She stared at his leaning body and a fuzzy tenderness warmed up inside her. His soft curls have turned gray and she surprised herself as she reached out a hand and touched the back of his head. As if an electric current shot them both, Grissom jerked back in shock and she recoiled in her seat.

"I'm sorry Gil..." she said faintly.

"Why Sara?" he asked with his impossibly blue eyes impaling her in a way she hadn't felt for years.

"Why did I keep the baby? Because I wanted to."

"No Sara, why didn't you tell me?"

"Why would I? To hear you say this child was a mistake just like we were?" She asked with a snort, not sure if her words intended to hurt him more than they hurt her.

"But if you'd told me..."

"Then what? You'd change your mind and come back? Stay with me because you had to and not because you wanted to? No way."

"So you denied a child his father out of selfishness?"

Sara shook her head frustrated.

"Why do you always have to twist my words like that Gil... why?"

"Sara, a child has a right to know who his father is for heaven's sake!" Grissom wasn't calm anymore, he was downright furious as Sara almost yelled at him.

"I told him who his father is. I told him his father is a genius workaholic who can't lift his head out of the microscope but he is also a wonderful person and someday he'll come and teach him about bugs and baseball. Happy now?"

She was quivering with anger now, a vein pulsing in her forehead and he felt the urge to grab her and shake her to her senses when the FBI people returned.

Melissa was instantly alarmed with their mutual agitation and she regretted leaving them alone. Coming to stand between them she attempted to absorb some of the radiating tension.

"Well," asked Grissom recomposing himself, "is there anything new?"

"There's nothing on his name, no car, no phone and no house. His parole officer said he quit his job a month ago and was supposedly planning on going back to school. We think he must have assumed a new identity from the connections he made in prison. And... there's something else you won't like," she added apprehensively.

When the distressed parents both looked at her anxiously she said, "they found the boy's clothes and hair inside an abandoned railcar. Seems that Redstone thought of everything."

Having said that, Melissa took some evidence bags from her partner's hands and dropped them on the table. Sara lunged to look at the contents and tears welled up in her eyes as she brought the clothing to her face and smelled the fabric. Some blood in the hoodie's front caught Grissom's attention and his jaw clenched.

"The bastard hit him. That blood spatter looks like blood blown out of his nose."

Sara and Melissa lay the sweatshirt on the table to confirm his saying. Suppressing a sob, Sara moved to the bag that contained Silver's hair and tugged some curls out, rubbing them between her fingers in stupor.

"Why..." the lump in her throat halted any other words coming out as Grissom calmly stated her fears; "He shaved his head and changed his clothes to make sure no one recognized him."

"I'm afraid you are right," Melissa said. "It's also safe to assume Redstone must have changed his own appearance as well. In the photo from the store it looks like he shaved his beard. Regardless, we released all pictures in the media and there's a manhunt underway." Then she brushed Sara's shoulder gently, "why don't you go home in case someone calls and we'll stay in touch?"

Sara let the cutout hair fall from her hand and glanced at Grissom with trembling lips.

"Come on," Grissom slipped her hand in his, "I'll take you home."

When he heard the man step outside and close the door, Silver opened his eyes only to come face to face with the dog. The beast looked just like his best friend's rottweiler, only this one didn't seem to be playful at all. His glaring eyes and that low growl reverberating in his ears was anything but friendly but Silver wasn't afraid, he'd always loved dogs and his mom had taught him how to treat them to earn their respect. He tagged along with her when she volunteered in a dog shelter last summer and he had learned to anticipate the animals' behavior. 'Every dog deserves a treat,' she always said and this one here looked hungry, he could try to spare some of his food for him when the man wasn't watching." It was that unpredictable man that scared him the most and the way he tricked him into following him to his car all smiles and promises and then slapped him hard when he tried to leave. He was so ashamed of himself, he'd been such a fool. If mom found out she'd be furious.

"Hey kiddo!"

He heard him call as he was crouched down in front of the store's meat section. Mom didn't like looking at fresh meat at all so it was the best place to hide. Silver looked up and saw a man with blonde hair and freckles smiling at him. He was tall and thin and looked a lot like Mr. Gregory, his math teacher at school. He was good at math and he liked Mr. Gregory so he smiled back. When he saw the man's Giants cap he smiled wider.

"It's Silver, right? Listen, I work with your mother in the lab and she told me to look out for you while she makes an urgent call, ok?"

"Where's she? He looked anxious up and down the aisle in disbelief.

"She'll be back in a minute, don't worry. Now, I know you are too big for a babysitter but I thought we could talk about baseball, ya know?" He pointed to the boy's hoodie and then to his own cap winking at him. Silver didn't recognize him as being one of mom's colleagues but maybe he was that new guy working with D-N-A. His raincoat was identical to the ones the CSI team had.

"You mean the Giants?" he asked.

"Who else? Hey, have you ever been in one of their games?"

"My mother promised me she'd take me on my birthday."

"Well, what if you beat her to it? I have two tickets for their next game I have to miss 'cause I'm on shift. It's her day off and I'm sure she'd like that surprise, what do you say? My loss is your gain."

Silver hesitantly agreed and the man ushered him to the exit. "Come on, hurry up before she sees you, my bag is in the car over there."

After that the only thing he remembered was the painful slap across his face and the blood in his hand. When he woke up he was dizzy, sitting in another car, wearing clothes that were too big for him and his head was cold.

TBC