Her blankets itched against her bare legs as she pushed them off. She lay flat on her bed, trying to concentrate, trying to get to sleep.
"Why can't I sleep?" She hissed to herself.
"Sometimes it helps when you have someone to talk you to sleep." She heard a voice say by her window.
"Alex?"
"Yeah well, I figured if it had to be someone it should be me, right?"
She sat up, pulling her legs against herself.
"Who are you?" She began to wonder, there was no possible way.
"I'm a figment of your imagination." He responded, completely serious.
"No really, come on."
"You're just tired, Liz."
"Don't do this to me today, okay? Do you have any idea what kind of day I've had?"
"I can imagine."
"Can you?"
"I understand." He compromised.
"I miss you."
It was silent for a while.
"Yeah, I know."
"I've had such a horrible day." She pouted, immature and childish, crossing her arms.
"Liz," Alex looked at her with a pathetic look on his face.
"I'm serious. Ever since…what happened things have been different."
"I can imagine."
"It's like someone gave us a whole new lifestyle and habits…we all changed completely. Took on different roles. I don't like it, Alex."
"What's not to like?"
"Max…is different. Isabel is kinder…Michael is stronger…Maria is more mature. I want you to change with us, Alex. I don't want to change with out you."
"I've already changed, Liz." He stepped closer away from the window.
Her face went blank.
"And now it's your turn."
"No." She responded.
"I understand."
"Why do you keep saying that? How do you understand? Every one else has gone on with their lives and forgot about what happened…what happened to you! How can you understand everything when people let go?"
"Because it took a lot for them to let go, Liz. I wanted them to and I want you to. I'm okay. It doesn't hurt." He assured her, reaching for her arm and stroking it.
She began to cry, tears slipping down her cheeks.
"I just don't want to forget you Alex."
"You never will." He shook his head.
"I won't let myself."
"If you want to hold on in the inside that's okay, but on the outside you need to let go, Liz. It's over…it's all done with and Max needs you. Maria, Isabel and Michael need you. I'll be just fine."
She didn't reply right away, but looked up at him.
"Are you sure it doesn't hurt?"
"Not at all." He shook his head.
"I miss you." She stood up and hugged him as he let his cold cheek rest against the side of her head. She snuggled closer, wanting to block out the chill.
"I know." He whispered back.
"I'll never forget you, Alex."
"Just let go, Liz. I'm still here even when you let go."
The soft sprinkle hit her face, awakening her. She saw the open window as the light drizzle fell. Standing up she walked to the window and closed it, standing by the curtain. She could almost see Alex standing in the rain, walking away, and for the first time she knew she was going to be okay.
She rested her fingers on the black and white keys, playing it slowly trying to figure out the notes. She sang softly, letting her voice carry in the empty room on the empty stage. Her gig went well but she had this empty feeling inside of her. As if something was missing, it was her first gig with out Alex.
"You'll learn it soon." He grinned.
She looked around, trying to find where the voice came from.
"Hello?" She asked.
"The piano, you'll learn it soon…it's not much harder then guitar and you were actually getting good." He walked over to the piano and stood next to her.
She looked up, her mouth becoming dry.
"Okay, I know its been a long day but…this is too weird for me." She grinned, shaking her head and beginning to play randomly.
"Too weird?" He grinned, sitting down next to her.
"Alex. You're not really here." She closed her eyes, trying not to let her emotions get involved.
"Yeah, I'm not." He nodded.
"Then why do I see you?"
"Because you want to."
"That didn't stop you from leaving." She muttered, looking down at the keys.
"You're sounding great." He nudged her.
"Thank you." She blushed. "I wish you were here to lead me."
"I am." He nodded.
"I know I can sense that. I miss you so much." She almost laughed, trying not to cry.
"I miss you too." He responded.
"No…not like I miss you. I mean, I just wish that I could have one of our deep talks again. Where we just spill ourselves and not worry about what the other is thinking. I miss those so much." She looked over at him as her eyes swelled with tears.
"I know it's hard." He tried to explain.
"No you don't." She stopped him. "You have no idea because you're not really here."
"Maria, if I was here, you know how I would feel." He smirked a bit.
"You'd understand." She sounded almost like she was talking to herself.
It was quiet for a while as he played softly against the keys.
She linked her arm in his and rested her head on his shoulder humming along.
"Play with me, Alex. Even if it's just for one last time, please?" She asked, sitting up straight.
He went into her favorite rendition of Somewhere Over The Rainbow.
She let loose her emotions as he played along, forcing each note out and ignoring the tears that begged to slip. After the last note she opened her eyes hoping to see him smile, applaud, then go into another song, but when she opened her eyes he was gone and the only thing that was left was the echo of her voice. He was gone, but she knew that it wasn't the last time she would see him.