Author's Note: An Iruka one! Hey everybody, thanks for all the encouraging reviews in the other "30 Ways" stories. May my fics and I continue to entertain you all and your familes for an unsubstanciated amout of time!

Dedicated to foxes-n-blood-n-tears-never-shed, who called me her hero.

30 Ways to Make Umino Iruka Mad

1. Teach Konohamaru to say "rat bastard".

2. Jump on his shoulders and beg for a microwave waffle.

3. Wallpaper his house with pictures of old people.

4. Photocopy your butt in the school's copy room repeatedly.

5. Burst into his classroom yelling about rodents.

6. Hire Anko to seduce him.

7. Tell Gai and Lee jumping out of closets and scaring Iruka is youthful.

8. Hum and sing "The Impossible Dream" whenever he climbs a flight of stairs.

9. Put sponges in the toilet.

10. Send him poisonous flowers in beautiful bouquets.

11. Say "kabooble" at ever-shortening intervals.

12. Ride through Konoha on a pony, and screech into a megaphone about how Iruka lost his virginity.

13. Replace his conditioner with Mop and Glo.

14. Go into his laundry basket and unmatch all the socks.

15. Hit him with rubber bands at unexpected times.

16. Jump on his back and scream "BATHROBES!".

17. Whenever you see a female ninja, point and go "Peep!"

18. Mail him "Girls Gone Wild: Season 2" for his birthday.

19. Blend cheese in the blender.

20. Hug him.

21. Tightly.

22. Tie a volleyball to your butt.

23. Sing Panic! at the Disco at every quiet moment.

24. Put a thorny rose on his chair just before he sits in his chair.

25. When he flops down on his bed after a long day, hit him with a plastic golf club.

26. Pair him with Deidara in fan fiction.

27. Tell Lee it's "Hug-A-Sensei" Day.

28. Repeatedly give him magazine cut outs of mini-vans.

29. Paper-machie pictures of tuna fish to the door of his home.

30. Wet an electric blanket, throw it over him, and (carefully) plug it in.

Iruka's Reaction:

"Yeah, un! I told you, un!" Deidara said, stabbing a finger at the way of annoying numbered 26 on the computer screen.

Iruka didn't answer. He was too busy being fainted on the floor. (I know it's not correct grammer.)

Anko suddenly appeared. "Oh, goody! I can ravage his body now!" she proclaimed, beginning to drag Iruka's unconscious body away.

"Grr.. KATSU! I hate you, HarvestMoonRacoon, un! And all those damned yaoi writers, un!" Deidara raged, ignoring the sexual assault taking place in the closet, Iruka screaming for help and fully conscious.

Sasori hit Deidara on the back of the head, causing him to squeak and fall to the ground.

He sighed. One of his puppets needed serious repair, and it was giving him hell. The last thing he needed was Katsu-Blonde Boy grating on his nerves.

Deidara went to sit on his bed and pout, all the time forming a clay image of a thirteen year old girl and Katsu-ing it to oblivion and muttering curses against a certain insomniac racoon.

A/N: Oh, dear. Less then a year of writing fanfiction and my life is already being threatened. Review, please!