tw: talk of neglect & trauma

summary: Cade attempts to get to know Dean, and Dean attempts not let him.

word count: 2,022

Cade made basic small talk on the walk to the car, admired her like a pro, and then continued that mostly-one-sided polite conversation as they headed back to the dining hall. However, as they approached the door once more and Dean braced himself for the mess inside, Cade didn't lead the way inside, instead deviating off the path and to the low brick wall which partially ringed the building.

He sat down on the edge of it, nodding for Dean to join him.

"We don't have to go back inside yet." Once again, his tone made it clear he'd noticed just how overwhelmed and miserable Dean had been in the noisy environment.

Hesitantly, the boy obeyed the silent request he'd made, finding a spot on the wall several feet away from Cade and perching on the very edge of it.

"So." The counselor's voice was more serious than it had been for the past twenty minutes, and it brought Dean's eyes up in apprehension. "When Dave was telling me about Baby back there, he also mentioned she and your brother and you were the only ones who made the trip up."

The boy's eyes dropped again, his jaw working in discomfort and nervousness. "What about it?"

He didn't mean for the question to come out so tight and defensive, but now that it had, there was nothing he could do about it, and he knew he couldn't play the role of polite little church boy for long anyway.

"It's just unusual," Cade replied patiently. "And by unusual I mean it's never happened before. So God must really have some big plans for you and Sam these next couple weeks."

Dean couldn't help the slight scoff that passed his lips, but otherwise remained silent since he had nothing nice to say.

"I'm assuming it's usually just you and your brother, then?" the counselor pressed after a moment. "At home, I mean?"

Dean bit his lip. The more defensive he got, the closer they were gonna watch him and the harder it was gonna be to do what he'd come to do. But the last thing he wanted to do was spill his guts to some charismatic college student who wanted to throw a Bible at him and change his life.

"I mean, yeah," he said finally. "Dad's gone a lot. So what?"

"And your mom?"

"Dead."

"I'm sorry, Dean." The gentleness in the older man's voice activated his fight-or-flight in a way fighting monsters didn't even come close to. "When?"

"When I was four."

"Never remarried?"

Dean shook his head, silent as he considered the thought. He tried not to think about how their lives would've changed if John had met another woman and settled down again instead of chasing demons and joining the Brotherhood. He wouldn't trade this life for anything. He meant that–he meant it even if the only reason he truly did was because he never would've met his best friend without it–but that didn't mean it was easy to think about a normal life with a normal family and no superhero weight on his shoulders.

"Dean?" Only with the mildly considered utterance of his name did Dean realize Cade had definitely just asked him a question.

He shook himself a little, cursing himself for getting lost in his own mind. "Sorry! Sorry. What did you say?"

"Hey, you're fine, Man." Once again, the counselor's voice was transparent of his intentions, and those intentions were clearly to tell him that he wasn't going to get in trouble for little, trivial things here, even if that wasn't always the case for him. "I just asked about Santa Fe. That's where you live, right?"

He let out a breath of hapless laughter before he could catch himself. A cocked brow from Cade said he wasn't going to get away without explaining it. "Uh… we just don't really live anywhere."

He desperately wished he'd come up with some background story with Sammy in the car, but as it was, he didn't have much of a choice but to tell some version of the truth or risk him and his brother giving vastly different answers to the casual questions of the people currently trying to be in charge of them.

"But we've been in Santa Fe the past month or so, yeah."

"Month, wow. You usually move that much?"

Dean shrugged. "Depends. Sometimes we're somewhere for a week, sometimes four or five months. We either travel with Dad while he finds work, or stake out someplace he can use as a homebase and stay there while he travels."

"And what does your dad do?"

Hopefully, Sam would fall back on their standard lie. "Mechanic. Specialty."

"So he just moves around, fixes people's fancy cars?"

"Yup."

"He ever let you help?"

"Yeah." Dean bit his lip, allowing his eyes to wander back to the lawn, trying to find his brother in the crowd of children and camp staff. "Yeah, he–uh–he's training me. So I can officially be a part of the business when I graduate."

"Like a family business?"

"Yeah. Yeah, exactly."

Cade considered that carefully for a long moment before asking mildly, "Is that what you want to do?"

"Course."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why?" the counselor repeated patiently. "Every dream has a why. Why do you want to join the family business?"

"Well, because–" He faltered. He didn't like this question. "Because it's the family business. It's what I was raised to do, what I was born to do…"

"Is it what you love?"

"I love my family."

He sounded like some kind of momma's boy dweeb.

"Just your brother and your dad and you, or…"

He was very good at coming up with follow-up questions.

"No, I mean…" A heavy sigh. "I have some uncles, too."

"Your dad's brothers?"

"Yeah."

"And you're close?"

"Yeah, I mean, we're all in the business, so…" He shrugged. "Mostly his younger brother."

"That you're close to?"

A nod. There was a moment of silence, Cade clearly waiting for him to go on, and with a heavy inward sigh, he did.

"I mean, he's a lot younger than Dad. So he's more like my brother than my uncle. And sometimes it's just–" He faltered, but the counselor was still watching him that uncomfortable attention, so once again, he gave in. "It's nice to not be the big brother sometimes, I guess." The words came out soft and ridden with all the guilt he felt at admitting the sentiment.

Clearly, the emotion wasn't lost on the older man. "Everyone needs someone they can look up to and rely on," he said simply. "There's no shame in needing to not always be the strong one who's in charge. That's human."

Dean stared at the ground and didn't answer. Cade took a breath, no doubt to ask another question, but before he could Dean decided to steer the conversation in a semi-helpful direction.

"So, uh…" He had to be cool about this. "We were gonna go to the other camp up here. Uh… Sparrowhead, I think? But it shut down for the summer. Do you know why?"

"Oh, yeah." Cade exhaled carefully, clearly trying to come up with an answer that didn't say too much or so little that it just made Dean more curious. "That's our sister camp. Functions on the same principals and everything, just the sessions only last a week instead of four."

"Right, I remember that," Dean confirmed, struggling to stay casual.

"They–uh–they just had some internal issues that weren't making the experience what it needed to be," Cade explained at last. "Hopefully they'll iron everything out and be able to start up again next summer."

Dean nodded a little, having to work that much harder to make it seem like he didn't actually care.

Well, that had been thoroughly unhelpful.

They sat there in silence for a long moment, and then Cade finally spoke up again, his voice careful. "So, um–I wanted to ask you. Not because–because it matters, because it doesn't. We are so happy you're here, for real."

He didn't like where this was going.

"Just… I saw in your file that you spent a couple months at a–uh–boy's home, this past semester. And I was just wondering what happened?"

That was in his file?

It made sense. He'd gotten arrested, of course that was on his record.

He'd just spent the past several months trying to forget that Sonny and the tinge of normalcy he'd provided had ever existed, and he hadn't thought of the fact that now anyone who ever looked at his official records again would see that and wonder…

"Dean?"

He started out of the spiral of panic, attempting to shake it off of himself. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I just–uh–I didn't–I didn't realize that was on my record."

"Oh, hey, I'm sorry," Cade replied quickly. "I made that sound so much worse than it is. It's not like… a criminal record, more like, hey, this happened, this was a thing. It'll be gone as soon as you turn eighteen, and the head of the home left a very positive correctional report, so I don't think it should affect colleges or anything. Like I said, I was just curious about the story. If you don't wanna talk about it, that's absolutely fine."

Dean hesitated, his mind spinning. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about this with a man he'd met thirty minutes ago, but no matter what he said, he could guarantee that it said he'd been arrested. And the last thing he needed was to be labeled as a criminal and watched extra closely while he tried to work on his case.

"Look," he sighed finally. "Dad was gone for longer than he was supposed to be. We were gonna run out of money, and I blew what we had left trying to make more. So I tried to steal bread and peanut butter for Sammy to eat, and I got caught. When they called Dad, he wanted to teach me a lesson, so he told them to leave me in jail, and they sent me to Sonny's instead. He eventually came and picked me up."

"Your dad left you without money or food and then left you in jail because you were desperate and trying to feed your little brother?" Cade repeated, his tone utterly incredulous, like he genuinely thought he had to have missed something.

Dean took a breath to try to make it sound any better on his father's part, but nothing came to mind, and after a moment, he just let it out again and nodded a little.

"Wow. I'm sorry, Dean." It was clear the older man had a lot more he'd like to say about the matter, but was choosing not to.

"Wasn't so bad," Dean replied quietly. "Sonny was actually… pretty cool."

"Hmm." Cade considered that a moment, looking at him in a perceptive way Dean really did not appreciate before saying simply. "Well, I'm glad he was. And I'm glad you're here."

Dean shifted uncomfortably, looking around and desperately trying to find a way out of the moment. "Yeah, so, uh… are we just gonna sit around here all day making a chick-flick, or…"

Cade smiled a little. "Making a chick-flick?"

"Just something Caleb says," Dean explained with a short sigh.

"And Caleb is…"

"My dad's younger brother."

"I see. Well…" At long last, the counselor got to his feet, and Dean hurried to do the same. "Since you are my last camper, I suppose we could head up to the I."

"The I?" Dean repeated uncertainly as he trailed Cade back into the dining hall.

"The Infirmary," he explained. "Upstairs. Downstairs is kinda Crew's hang-out area. We don't have much of an agenda tonight, so we'll mostly be chilling up there. They even give us pizza the first night so we don't have to eat in here."

"Oh. Cool."

For once, some good news.

If there was nothing he was actually supposed to be doing, hopefully it wouldn't be all too difficult to slip away and get to work.

As always, please let me know what you think. Love you guys a lot.

- Line