Chapter Summary: Christine continues to struggle with her fears, once again pushing Raoul away from her. Cousin Henri takes note of what has been happening. Tallis and Erik struggle to understand the rules of the game they are playing. And Madame Giry makes on observation.

(edited on 21-Sept-05 to adjust for Victorian sensabilities - thank you for the suggestion!)

CHAPTER TEN

It had been five days since the dinner party at Chagny and this was the day that Christine had promised to go into the village with Monique. She had risen early, having spent a restless night for the nausea that had begun quietly before she and Raoul had left for Chagny was now her almost constant companion. It snuck upon her unawares at any hour of the day or night. She had struggled to hide it from those about her, picking at her food, keeping to herself. When questioned, Christine had replied that the country air was so soothing that it had relaxed her to the point where it seemed to draw the very life from her body. Philippe had nodded knowingly, saying that had been his first reaction when he had moved to Chagny from Paris. Henri had spent his time watching her, smirking at her when she caught him, unaware that his actions only added to the sickness that had taken up residence in her stomach. Christine knew that Henri was a liar and she also knew he would know another liar when he saw one and that knowledge just added to the already guilty weight she bore.

And then there was Raoul.

Christine sighed as she thought of her husband. She hated what she was doing to him but could see no way round it. The night of the party when she had slept wrapped in his arms, feeling his gentle breath against her ear, the warm strength of his embrace keeping away her fears, Christine had almost broken down. She had almost silenced the fears in her mind, the doubts that plagued her heart. She could almost hear the small voices that haunted her growing silent. But that had been during the night and with the first light of day, as Raoul had planted a kiss on her cheek and rolled over, all the fears, the doubts and the voices came back. It was the moment when Christine had once more succumbed to the weaknesses that plagued her and had begun to withdraw from her husband again.

"More time," Christine whispered to herself as she placed her head in her hands, "I just need a bit more time." She raised her head and looked at the reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles under the worried eyes that looked back at her. Christine reached for the powder on the vanity in front of her and lightly dusted the circles before placing a touch of rouge on her pale cheeks. She drew a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and smiled at herself. "It will have to do," she said softly before standing and leaving the room where - once again - she slept alone.

Christine walked down the staircase. She stopped at the bottom, looking at the grandfather's clock that ticked each day away, remembering the story Philippe had told of how Raoul loved to stop it when no one was looking. She smiled to herself; she was discovering more and more about the man she had married. She was discovering things she had never known, never suspected. Then Christine paused, feeling a wave of sadness flow through her; she wondered if she had ever truly known Raoul. She wondered if she had fallen in love with the memory of a childhood playmate or the man who so obviously loved her. Christine had seen Raoul disappointed the night they had fled from the opera house when she had returned to him after seeking out her Angel for one last time but that disappointment had quickly fled. She had not seen Raoul disappointed since that night and now Christine wondered how he would react if she were to give him the greatest disappointment of his life.

"I will not think upon that," Christine said to herself, two fingers massaging the bridge of her nose. "I cannot think upon that."

A pair of familiar arms wrapped themselves about her waist. "Think upon what?" Raoul whispered softly into her ear.

"The little doubts that every woman has," Christine replied, fighting the urge to flee from her husband's embrace.

Raoul laughed softly and planted a kiss on her neck, turning Christine around so that he could look at her. "You are far too lovely and far too talented to ever have any doubts."

Christine reached a hand up to rest briefly against Raoul's cheek. "And you are far too kind," she replied in a somber tone of voice.

"Since when has kindness been a fault?" Raoul was puzzled.

"I do not know," Christine told him with a small shake of her head. "I am just being foolish."

Raoul, too, grew solemn. "It is not wonder for you are not sleeping; I can see the circles beneath your eyes through the powder." It was his turn to shake his head. "Will you not see the doctor in the village? He is rather old but he is still a good man. I am worried about you."

"I wish you would not worry ..."

Raoul interrupted her. "I am your husband, I have a right to worry over you."

Christine took back the hands that he held. "I am going into the village today to spend a few pleasant hours getting to know Monique better. I do not wish to subject myself to the poking and prodding of any one."

"I was just suggesting ..."

Christine sighed angrily. "I am your wife and not a possession over which you have rights! If I do not wish to see a doctor, than I shall not see a doctor."

"As you wish," Raoul said through clenched teeth. "If you wish to lose sleep and remain ill," Raoul let out a small laughed Christine's amazement. "What? Did you think I would not notice that you been ill since we arrived? What kind of a blind child do you take me for?"

They stared at each, hurt and anger the invisible barrier between them.

It was Raoul who finally relented as he watched Christine's chin tremble as she fought to keep her tears in. "Truth be told, love, I cannot bear to see you unhappy," he said. "If you do not wish to see a doctor then I shall not bring it up again." He carefully reached out for one of her hands. "I hope you have pleasant day with Monique and if you see anything you desire, just tell the shop proprietor to send the bill to Philippe." He managed a small smile. "Philippe is insisting."

Christine was silent for a moment, fighting down the niggling fears and the little voices. She studied her husband's face. "Why must you always be so understanding?" she wondered out loud and lowered her eyes. "If it will set your mind at ease, I will see the doctor." She heard the intake of breath and raised her head. "Only if he has the time to see me and only if Monique will agree to the interruption of the plans we have already made."

"I am sure she will," Raoul replied and was silent for a moment. "I have the feeling that you are keeping something from me," he shook his head as Christine opened her mouth. "Do not try to deny it. I know you will tell me in your own time. I admit I am not happy about this secret you hold for it has become the third - very unwelcome - person in our marriage." Raoul grew sad. "I had hoped we would no longer have a third person to haunt us once we married."

"It is not ..." Christine tried.

"Please do not say anything," Raoul told her. "You gave me one night to share with you again and I am trying very hard to hold onto the memory of that." He leaned towards Christine and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. "I fear I may need to hold that memory for longer than I would have ever imagined."

Christine was frustrated with her husband and angry with herself for causing it and it sounded in her voice. "You do not understand!" she hissed between her teeth.

"Then make me understand!"

"I cannot! Not now. Not yet."

Raoul tossed his head back and laughed - it was a strange sound.. "For once I am not the understanding husband!" He sobered. "And I truly do not wish to be the understanding husband but that is what I am. It is who I am and I cannot change." Raoul nodded at his wife. "So go and enjoy your time with Monique. Listen to her tell secrets about the child I used to be and buy yourself lovely things."

"What of you?" Christine asked softly.

"I shall do what I always do when I need to clear my thoughts; I shall find a strong horse and ride into the woods. My favorite trail is still there, neglected and forgotten. I believe the solitude it provides is just what I am seeking at the moment." He actually managed a soft smile. "This part of June is particularly lovely in the woods. It is cool under the shade of the trees and warm along the trail. You can hear birds overhead and animals underfoot. If I am lucky, I may even catch sight of a doe and her fawn."

Christine looked worried. "You will not take Philippe or Arthur or a groom with you?"

"Why? The trail may be neglected and forgotten but it is still on our land. What have I to fear?" Raoul raised the hand he held to his lips. "I promise I shall be careful if you promise to enjoy yourself."

"I promise," Christine told him.

Raoul managed a smile for her. "Then so do I," he said, letting her hand go, walking to the front door, opening and closing it behind himself.

"What have I done to us?" Christine asked herself, not knowing that Raoul stood on the porch, looking down at the riding gloves he held, a sad, bewildered expression on his face, asking himself the same question. Christine turned her attention once more to the clock that ticked behind her. "I really must go," she said to no one in particular as she took note of the time.

She turned and walked down the hallway and ran into Henri as she turned towards the hall off of which the dining room was located. Christine let out a gasp, a hand going to her throat.

"I did not mean to startle you," Henri said with a smile.

"That is quite all right," Christine assured him as she fought to still her racing heart.

Henri placed a hand on her arm, moving it gently up and down. "Is there anything I can do to make up for startling you?"

Christine took his hand off her arm. "No, thank you," she said firmly. "I must get ready to go."

Henri stood aside and swept her a bow as Christine walked past. "Pray, do not let me detain you," he said and watched her until she had disappeared into the dining room. He turned on his heel and headed in the opposite direction, whistling to himself. "Spirited little thing," he said to himself and grinned. "Far too spirited for dear cousin Raoul to handle," Henri's voice grew lower, "far too spirited."

"Far too spirited," Erik muttered to himself.

Tallis looked up from where she was on her knees, hands covered in dirt. "Did you say something of importance or may I continue to ignore you?"

"Pray do not consider me," Erik told her with a nod to the garden that surrounded her. "I believe those small green things need your attention far more."

Tallis smiled up at him. "I never consider you," she began. "And green means growth." She turned her attention back to the garden. "Something you should learn," Tallis muttered.

"Did you say something of importance?" Erik asked sweetly.

Tallis swiftly raised her head, a clump of dirt in her hand. That man was so irritating! "You ..." she managed to get out before she acted without thinking and flung the dirt at him.

Erik had seen the clump in her hand and dodged her throw but not fast enough; part of the dirt clump caught him on the arm. He looked down at the dirty sleeve of his white shirt, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Erik was fighting down the urge to throttle the girl on her knees in front of him when he raised his head. And the thought quickly fled from his mind.

Tallis was bent over her knees, her brown hair hiding her face, her shoulders shaking.

Erik took one hesitant step forward. "Are you all right?"

There was no answer.

Another step forward. "Tallis?" he wondered.

Still no answer.

Erik quickly crossed the remaining distance to the girl's side, not caring that his shoes were scuffing through the dirt. He started to reach for her shoulder and thought better of it and squatted down next to Tallis. "Tallis?" he tried again, this time reaching out for her shoulder.

Tallis reached for the hand that came to rest against her shoulder, raising her head.

Erik was prepared for her to be shocked, frightened, even crying. He was not prepared for the sight of this girl laughing! At him! She was laughing at him!

"Surprise!" Tallis said as she pulled away from him, causing them both to fall on their rumps into the warm soil. Tallis was laughing so hard that she could barely get her breath.

"What do you think you are doing!" Erik exploded before he could stop himself.

Tallis quickly stopped laughing and stared at the man who was glowering at her. She glowered back as she rose to her feet and stomped off towards the wooded area at the back of Madame Giry's house.

Realizing what he had sounded like; Erik briefly closed his eyes in pain before getting to his feet, as well.

"Tallis!" he called after her.

Tallis had reached around to pull off the kerchief that held her hair in place. She paused briefly, turning to look at Erik and flung it at him. "Go away!" she shouted and continued to walk away from him.

"Tallis!" Erik called again, as he started to go after her.

She just waved a muddy hand at him over her shoulder and did not stop.

"Will you just listen!"

Tallis looked over shoulder. "Will you just go away!" she called back without breaking stride.

Erik let out a hiss between his teeth as he continued to chase after Tallis, his strides growing longer and quicker. He drew a deep breath as he felt a burning begin in his side. He was not used to this kind of activity; there was no need for such games when he had lived beneath the opera house. There he had been in control; there it had been a world he had understood. He had been king and he had made the rules and everyone needed to obey them for fear of the consequences. Here, now, with this girl there seemed to be no rules and he most certainly was not in charge. A thought passed through his mind that frightened Erik - Tallis appeared to be in charge. That, he thought, would not do at all! Erik paused for a moment to catch his breath and to pick up the kerchief Tallis had flung at him. He looked around and saw her at the outdoor pump, water gushing over her hands. Erik gathered himself together, crossing the distance between them.

"Tallis," he tried softly.

"What?" came the exasperated reply.

"I am," Erik swallowed for the word did not come easily to his lips, "sorry."

Tallis took her hands from beneath the flowing water, wiping them on her apron before turning to look at the man behind her. "And you think that makes it all right? You think that one little word is going to make me forget the tone of voice with which you yelled at me? Or how you looked at me? Do you?"

Erik closed his eyes and counted to ten. He opened them and counted to ten again before daring to open his mouth. "Do you think we can speak like civilized persons for a moment?"

Tallis crossed her arms over her chest and regarded him for a long minute. "As you wish," she said and followed him over to a wrought iron bench beneath the shade of a chestnut tree. She watched Erik after they had sat, studying his face, waiting for him to begin. "You had something to say?" she finally asked.

"This is not easy for me," Erik began.

"I am sorry." Tallis was truly contrite. "I shall be quiet and listen."

Erik turned to look at her. "Why did you do that? Why did you pull away so that we both landed in the dirt? Why did you trick me into coming to you?"

Tallis looked at him in puzzlement. "It was a trick my sister and I used to play upon our older brothers. I thought it might be fun to play it upon you. Was I wrong?"

"I do not know how much Antoinette has told you about me ..."

"Enough," Tallis interrupted and grew silent once more under Erik's eyes.

"Then you will know that I understand little to nothing of your world. I do not know what it is to live within a family. I do not know what it is to tease and play games for the sheer fun of doing so." Erik sighed. "I was unprepared for the trick you played upon me and I reacted badly."

Tallis was quiet for a moment. "I, too, am sorry. I keep forgetting that you are not like the rest of us."

Her words startled Erik. He had never thought that any woman would ever look upon him as anything but a monster. Yet here was this woman who did not think he was anything out of the ordinary; who actually looked upon him as just another man. It was a revelation.

"I am just ...' Tallis turned her gaze from Erik to look towards the west, her eyes seeing something he could not, "I am just missing my family. I miss teasing my brothers and sharing secrets with my sister. I miss working with my mother in the kitchen and listening to my father's evening stories." She sighed. "I know that my brothers and sister are married with children of their own and that my parents grow old and tired," Tallis turned back to look at Erik, "but they are still my family and I miss them. I just wanted to recapture some of that love I was missing and to share it with you." She lowered her eyes. "I did not realize I could not tease you."

Erik was stunned. He had completely misunderstood her actions. He thought she was making fun of him when in reality she was playing with him, drawing him into her silliness and joy. Erik placed a hand against his forehead, feeling the pains of foolishness, ignorance and embarrassment rising in his breast. "I had not thought," he finally said, shaking his head. "I did not have brothers or sisters or parents as a child. I did not realize you were only having a game with me."

Now it was Tallis' turn to apologize. "I am sorry. I am no longer a child and I should not engage in such things."

"Do not say that!" Erik told her as he reached out and laid one of his hands over hers. "I should be very disappointed were you to give up your delightful spirit because of me." He lowered his head and caught Tallis' eyes. "But you must remember who and what I am. When you are playing with me may we at least play a game where I know the rules? I should be very upset with myself were I to raise my voice to you again."

Tallis nodded her head in agreement.

"Then I am satisfied." Erik patted the hand resting under his. "Now, can you tell me to clean my pants? I do not think Antoinette will let me beyond the kitchen in my current state."

Tallis smiled, holding his hand as she stood. "Stand up," she told him.

Erik raised an eyebrow but did as he was told.

"You must follow my actions," Tallis continued. She placed her hands behind her back and waited until Erik had also done so. "Now," she said, "you just brush the dirt away."

Erik watched as Tallis' arms moved up and down. He began to mimic her actions, feeling the grit of the earth beneath his sensitive fingers. He closed his eyes for a moment and could almost imagine a pair of small hands brushing lightly up and down, back and forth over the material that covered his buttocks. His back stiffened for a moment as he remembered the lashes and hands that had beaten him in the same place but then he relaxed as an entirely new sensation swept over him. He kept his eyes closed for a moment longer and sighed peacefully as tiny currents of warmth suddenly rippled through his body, seeking out unknown nerve endings and warming cold corners. Erik was abandoning himself to the delightful feelings of his own imagination when a voice intruded into his bubble world, breaking the dream and drawing him back to reality.

"It really is not all that difficult, is it?" Tallis wondered and smiled as Erik opened his eyes.

"No," Erik told her, "it was not." He was not aware of the way in which he was looking at the woman in front of him.

Tallis could feel the heat rising in her cheeks under the intensity of his stare. "You should be lucky it was only dirt and not mud."

"Thank you for the lesson." Erik replied softly.

"You are welcome," Tallis assured him as she quickly returned her hands to the front of her own body, clasping them at her waist.

"It was rather easy," Erik admitted with a small smile.

Tallis could feel herself being drawn into those glowing eyes. "You would have been able to do it without me," she nearly whispered as she fell through Erik's eyes and into his soul.

Neither of them was aware that they were being watched from the house. Antoinette let the curtain fall back into place and sighed.

"They will break each other's hearts before this is over," she said to the quiet room.