See part 0 for notes/disclaimer/summary
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Author's Note: For those of you outside th US... AARP is the American Association of Retired People and you only need to by 50 to join.
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Sam was glad she was an expert at reading the facial expressions of Jack O'Neill as she easily interpreted everything going on in his mind. Surprise was quickly followed by a flicker of pain. Both were emotions she could understand. Then there was a pause and his features got a far away look as if he were contemplating the question. She jumped in quickly when she saw the panic set in.
"Carter are you?" he began.
"I'm not pregnant. It's just a question," she assured him.
The look of relief that came next pretty much answered her question. But she gave him credit for a quick recovery because a second later the O'Neill mask was up.
"Do you want a kid?" he asked casually.
"Well that's what this little get away was really all about. It's been on my mind a lot lately as I've pretty much realized it's now or never," she sighed. "I'm not exactly getting any younger."
"Well think how I feel," Jack quipped. "I'm already eligible for AARP. Think how old I'd be before any kid I had now graduated from college."
"You'll still probably be incredibly sexy," Carter mused.
"Besides, what about your career? Would you want to still be on SG1?" he asked ignoring the comment.
"No way. If I have a child its lab work all the way for me," she declared. "But actually my career is the least of my concerns. If I were to make that choice, it would be a fair trade," she confessed.
"You have other concerns?" Jack asked picking up on that part of her statement.
"My body has been through hell in the last eight years. I worry about conceiving and carry a child, not to mention the fact that my children would be inheriting Naquada in their blood," she fretted. "Of course on the plus side, passing along the ancient gene would be a good thing," she teased. "Thor would be thrilled."
"You've really thought this through," Jack stated. "Although I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I just think there a lot of risks involved, not to mention how much your life would change," he commented. "It had better be something you really want."
"Our lives," she amended. "Our lives would change. It would have to be something we both wanted," Sam reminded him. "You won't lose me if you say no, Jack. I would only want kids if they were yours, and I can tell you aren't too thrilled by the idea."
"No, Sam. Honestly, I'm not. Maybe if I had the luxury of retiring and being a full time father I might consider it, but I certainly don't want to be the absentee dad I was last time around," he admitted. "DC is a long way from Colorado and I don't see the President letting me set up office several thousand miles from the Pentagon any time soon."
Sam nodded, slowly at first as she thought about his answer. She couldn't say she was disappointed because she hadn't even made up her mind herself one way or the other. She certainly didn't want to force fatherhood on Jack if he wasn't excited about the prospect.
Finally she gave one last decisive nod. "So the discussion is closed. Now what say we enjoy the rest of this week-end? I'm thinking a little midnight dip in the ocean should be fun. Until then I'm sure we can find something to occupy our time!"
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The next month was particularly busy for both Sam and Jack, although Sam managed one quick trip to DC. Today was her first day out of the mountain where she could just be at home and run errands. Truth be told Landry had order all of SG1 to take a day off after finding Carter asleep at her computer with Mitchell and Jackson sprawled on couches across the room. Even Teal was dozing although he was at least sitting upright in the process.
So today Sam had slept in (one whole extra hour) tackled the weeds that had taken over her front garden, and was now out shopping for a new wallet. She'd noticed a while back that her old one was getting worn but the final straw had been when she broke the zipper on one of the compartments two weeks ago.
Having found just what she was looking for at her favorite leather shop, along with a great pair of new boots that she had splurged on, she headed for a café around the corner to get some lunch. Seated across from her were two women in their early thirties, one with a very tiny baby in a stroller. Sam was mesmerized, and when the woman got up to leave she felt a pang of regret. Maybe that biological clock was going to be harder to ignore than she thought.
Or maybe her hormones were just out of whack she corrected as she mentally checked her calendar to see if it was that time of the month. Damn, just what was the date today she thought pulling out her cell phone to check. Holy Hannah, was it really June already? Where did the time go?
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In Washington, Jack O'Neill was suffering with a rare case of self-doubt. For weeks after Sam had asked him the loaded question about having more kids he'd felt that they had made the right decision. Dreams of Charlie had resurfaced and he knew he could never go though anything like that again. Then Sam had come to visit for the weekend and during a walk in a nearby park he had caught her staring at two small children playing and for a moment she had looked sad. It had been so fleeting he wasn't sure that he hadn't imagined it, but it had started the process of him wondering if he'd forced her into a decision that she might regret someday.
Then a week ago he had dreamed of Charlie again, only this was Charlie as he might appear today, a tall young man with a glint of mischief lurking in his brown eyes. The dream Charlie had looked past Jack with a grin and jokingly asked him when he was going to make an honest woman of Sam. Startled Jack had turned to see Sam standing talking to Teal'c and Daniel. Obviously they were having a barbeque in his back yard. Sam turned slightly and he could see that she was heavy with child. And she was positively glowing. From behind him Charlie spoke again.
"You can't let the past hold you back any more, Dad," he said quietly.
Jack turned to answer, but Charlie was gone, and the dream evaporated. For the next week the vision had haunted Jack during any quiet moment he had. Was he letting his past get in the way of his future? He loved Sam with all of his heart and couldn't imagine his life without her. They should have been married by now at the very least. So why hadn't he asked her?
The answer was plan and simple. He was afraid of screwing up again. And sure, the age factor was a valid argument against having kids, but thanks to Thor's tune up after the last 'going ancient' incident Jack was in excellent shape. His doctor here in DC had shaken his head in undisguised envy after Jack's last checkup.
And now that the thought was in his head he couldn't help but think what a great mom Sam would be. He'd watched her with Cassie over the years. Maybe the discussion they had started over a month ago should be revisited when he traveled to Colorado in a week.
At the very least he knew that there was a very important question he wanted to ask one hot blond Lt Colonel.
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TBC