Chapter 13
The sun broke through the farm's bedroom window.
Abbey opened her eyes and turned to see if Jed was asleep. He had tossed and turned most of the night. So he couldn't have slept all that much.
He wasn't there.
She got out of bed and saw a small piece of paper on the dresser.
"Gone for a walk. Back soon."
After changing into some jeans and a loose t-shirt, she went to the kitchen. He had already fixed the coffee so she poured herself a cup and went out on the back porch to see if she could see him.
"Looking for me?"
His voice startled her. She turned to see him in the porch swing, holding a partially smoked cigarette in his hands. "I couldn't sleep so I thought I would come out here and think."
She went over to him. "Want some company?"
She didn't want to pressure him into accepting her presence unless he really wanted her to be here.
"Yeah," patting the area next to him. He threw the cigarette on the old oak boards and ground his foot until the fire was out.
Abbey sat down and waited for him to talk first.
But there were no words. Just silence.
"Jed, you know I'm here."
"Yeah."
"You know, that's about all you say these days."
"Yeah."
The silence continued.
Finally, with her coffee turning cold, Abbey got up. "Want a refill?"
"No, thanks."
As Abbey turned to leave, Jed finally spoke.
"Abbey?"
"Yes?" as she turned back to him.
"Thanks. Thanks for being here with me. For letting me grieve in my own way."
Abbey was surprised at the emotion in her husband's voice. As sensitive a man as she knew him to be, this was a rare time when he actually admitted he was hurting.
She sat back down next to him and leaned up next to him.
"I love you, Jed. When you hurt, I hurt. When you're happy, I'm happy. That's just the way it is."
He leaned over to kiss her. Almost unconsciously his hand reached up under her shirt and started to squeeze her breasts. She didn't dare flinch or move in any way. In fact, she was beginning to enjoy it.
Jed suddenly jerked his hand away. "I can't. Not today. Not the day I'm burying my mother."
"Jed, it's okay." Abbey whispered the words, but she knew that the intimacy was over. Jed had already gone back to the lonely place where he had kept himself these past few days.
Sighing, she stood up and turned back to him, extending her hand. "Come on. You need a shower before we leave for town."
"Go ahead. I'll be in soon. I just need some more time.
"Okay," as Abbey turned and reentered the house.
Jed was lost in thought already.