Title: Running With the Devil
Author: TWbasketcase
Rated: T for cursive language and talk of suicide and death.
Chapter Summary: CHARACTER DEATH! Yay!
A/N: MWAUHAHAHA! I'm back with more insanity for you all to enjoy! I think this chapter talks about serious issues but as always (in this story anyways) it will be put into great comedic fun! And once again (sighs and rolls eyes) this isn't directed at anyone in particular, it's all in good fun! So here is chapter 9, I hope you all enjoy!
Chapter 9 – Kickin' the Bucket
Brody sat down on her bed and smiled contentedly; there had been pure madness and bickering over 'who screwed who' and why Bender is such a perverted idiot for the last half an hour or so. She was finally able to sit down and pull out her notebook to do some writing.
Andrew was sitting on the floor next to the computer as Allison sat in front of it, finally getting her turn to look at the stories. Bender was lying on the floor with his feet up on the wall singing Barry Manilow songs, while Claire and Brian joined Brody on the bed to discuss French literature with one another. Brody took this sign of peace very gratefully, as she knew it probably wouldn't last too long.
She bent over her notebook and scribbled down a very in depth character study. She was finally getting a hold of all of the important characters of the story, and the important qualities that just made them them. Things were finally looking up…
"Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! That was so good!" Allison burst out happily, scaring everyone in the near vicinity.
"What the fuck are you babbling about, crazy?" Bender asked with a smirk.
"Bender killed himself!" She chirped; holding on to her chest tightly as maniacal laughter escaped from her throat loudly.
Bender grinned, "Really? Cool!" He rolled over so that he was facing right side up, and proceeded to climb off of the floor and approached the computer. He skimmed over a couple of lines and frowned, "I would never kill myself because of something someone else did! I don't give a shit about other people…"
Andy's interest peeked at that moment, "Scroll to the exact part he does it…I have to remember this for the rest of my life…"
Allison nodded in agreement, "I know! You may never witness something so wonderful ever again."
Claire rolled her eyes, "You know it isn't very nice to talk about him that way. He may be an ignorant prick, but you surely wouldn't want him to die now would you?"
Brody stifled a laugh as Andy and Allison regarded each other hesitantly; Brody couldn't decide for sure if it was because they didn't want to hurt Claire's feelings…or if they just couldn't find the right words to say it. Bender on the other hand didn't really seem to care less of what the others had to say about his untimely death.
Andy and Allison just turned their heads back to the computer without a response. Claire just rolled her eyes once more and decided to approach the computer as well. Brody leaned back over her notebook for a few more moments until she heard the laughter increase once more. She blew her bangs out of her eyes and watched as they all laughed at Brian. She furrowed her eyebrows, "What? Did Brian die too?"
Bender grinned, "He sure did! He blew his brains all over the walls!"
Brian held up a hand in his defense, "Now fellas I thought we covered this. I don't wanna die and the flare gun incident was just a low time in my life. I talked to someone about that…"
Claire scoffed, "Brian, you know you don't have to defend yourself…it wasn't the real you who killed himself. It was a different fiction Brian."
Brian nodded mutely and sauntered over to the computer as well. Brody couldn't understand why (they must be morbid or something) but they seemed to be digging up every single character death story that they could find. Why couldn't they understand that people killed them off for a reason? It wasn't something to laugh about…
"Oh! There goes the basket case!"
"Sporto blew his brains out too!"
"Bender again?"
"Why does everyone want John dead?"
"Basket case snuffed it again…"
"Brian! People must have some sick fantasy about you and that flare gun!"
"Holy shit Bender! You died four times!"
Brody cocked an eyebrow in amusement and set her book down next to her, "What are you guys reading?"
Allison turned to her with a wicked grin, "'The Saturday that Never Was' Andrew gets shot by Larry. Although…I kinda wish she would have went further than the first chapter…"
Andy furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, "Allison I thought we got over this…"
Allison rolled her eyes, "I'm not happy that you got shot…I just wanna see what happens."
Andy pondered that statement momentarily before he accepted it for what is was worth. They continued scrolling through the pages until…well…maybe they got bored.
"Hey Brody?" Brian asked.
"MmmHmm?" She responded.
"How come Claire never dies? I mean, the rest of us all kill ourselves at least once…or gets murdered…or killed by our father…or almost hit by a train…or in some sort of accident…but Claire never dies? How come she gets away from death and we don't?"
Bender folded his arms, "Yeah…I would so use my ninja skills to get the bastard before he got me!"
Allison nodded in agreement, "Yeah…I would find more interesting ways to do it than that…"
Andy grumbled, "And I just wouldn't kill myself. I don't care what happens…suicide is for quitters."
"Or artists…" Allison added. Andy, Brian, and Bender just cocked an eyebrow at her and then momentarily returned their wondering gazes to Brody.
Brody shrugged, "Well no one kills off Vernon…or Carl for that matter either."
Bender laughed, "Well that is because no one writes about Vernon! And who would kill off Carl? I would kick them in the shins if they did…what would be the point of that?"
Brian cleared his throat, "Well you know…some people do sympathize Vernon…"
Bender threw his hands in the air, "Yeah, yeah, yeah well they can eat shit."
Brody rolled her eyes, "Well have any of you took into consideration what genre these stories are in?"
Bender put his hand over his ear, "Gen-wha? Come again?"
Brody pinched the bridge of her nose, "GEN-RE! It is the category of the story!"
He stared at her with a blank, smirking face and said nothing. She rolled her eyes, "You know? Comedy…romance…drama…action…suspense…ANGST!"
They all took a few moments to check over these stories once more. Brody looked at her watch after about four minutes and just gave up, "They are all angst stories."
Claire cocked an eyebrow, "So what does that have to do with anything? How does that explain why I don't die? Wait! Why am I arguing this? I should be happy I don't die! They must love me!"
The rest of the Breakfast Club shot her dirty looks and Brody smiled thinly, "Oh quite the contraire, Claire. You don't die because they don't like you as much."
Her form slumped slightly and she cocked her head to the side, mimicking John's actions, "Come again?"
Andy laughed wildly, "The princess is gonna get her golden bubble burst!"
Brody ignored him and continued, "Well so this makes sense…the yuppie fan girls around the fandom get wet over the angst. They love it…it makes them horny to see people suffer. So the worse off the character is, the more it shows how much they love them. You see, when people read or write angsty shit…it gets them all emotional, and interested, and attached to the story…and the characters in it. They kill off their favorite character because it makes the story a wonderful piece of work. So the more you die, the more they love you."
Claire's mouth fell open, "So you mean…they don't love me?"
Brody was about to open her mouth again when she was rudely interrupted by four bodies around her diving to the floor and taking cover. She looked around her oddly and noticed they were all covering their heads…while Claire's was turning an odd shade of red…one that would make her hair jealous.
"They don't love me?" She repeated.
"Run!" She heard Bender whisper hoarsely from behind her floor lamp. He looked awfully strange there since the body of the lamp didn't disguise him all that well.
"Sure they like you Claire…mostly if you're just with John…but…"
"THEY DON'T LOVE ME?"
"She's gonna blow!" Bender tried once again – unsuccessfully – to hide behind the lamp, "Cover your balls Brody! That's the first place she'll aim for!"
Brody rolled her eyes, "Glad to see you know her so well…"
Allison stood from her hiding spot; Brody was almost positive she heard Andy whimper and tell her he didn't want her to die. Allison though stood tall and approached Claire, "They love you…they all love you. You're the pretty one who gets all the coolest clothes. You are so popular and amazing and everyone wants to be just like you! Don't you see…we all want to be Claire Standish." Allison nodded her head, agreeing with herself.
Bender bit the knuckles of his fist and pretended to be astonished, "She is such a brave soul…"
Claire narrowed her eyes at Allison and huffed, "You're just saying that…"
Allison bit her lower lip and shook her head, "No I'm not."
Claire looked to all the others for confirmation; they all nodded their heads in agreement and waited for her response. Her stance softened considerably and she sighed, relieved, "Well then…makeovers for everyone!"
Andy groaned loudly, "I wish they would kill her off!"
TBC
A/N: Just a few things…
Alli-Baby: Hey glad to see you jumped a board! LMAO. Yeah I got the idea for this story back in the summer when the same old stories were getting pumped out over and over again and people just seemed to be getting their movie facts mixed up with the fan fic facts. I probably won't be doing an actual follow up to this story, but in my defense I have tried to write nothing but original ideas since I started this fic. Lol, I'm glad you liked it.
Jenifer: Yeah the whistle bit was good; I remember my mom having one of those things back in the day and I tried to blow it once in public and she smacked me. I just figured that John would just have a hay day with that thing so I added it in. Bender seemed to steal the show last chapter didn't he? Your review was so detailed and a lot of the good parts had him in it…I wonder if I do that on purpose? Thanks for the review!
tk421beth: Wow! Thanks for reviewing all of the chapters individually! I always thought it was cool when people did that. But anyways, your reviews make me very happy; even if you do say 'chapta' and 'great chapter! Update soon!'
Emilio: You better be treating ole Beth okay, you dimwit! I think you're sexy! And stop making fun of Beth! She has nice reviews…
Hannah: I'm glad you liked, girlie! I say we torture John Hughes until he makes the uncut DVD! Me and you! Let's lead the parade! LMAO! Update Fate soon!
BCJ: I hope your week got better. I think writing the TBC banter is the best part…don't you other writers agree? LOL, and it is okay if your roomie thinks your crazy! We're all a little crazy…right? Right guys?
Midnight: Girl this chapter is dedicated to you…for helping me with it. You're my hero man. So what if I am a suck up to you! It was a cheap plug…you know you loved it! LOL. And yes, at times TBC is more important than school…like tonight when I should be studying the human brain and stoichiometry. But there's always time for that later, right? Ha! Thanks for all of the encouragement and the great review!
So I don't usually do that…mainly because I am not supposed to, but why not go out on a limb, right? I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, even if it was a bit short. I always feel that this story should always have the chapters left on a good note. So there you have it!
Kristen